by Tina Gayle
“But what do you get out of it?” Susan wasn’t a fool. Jillian could tell the girl knew there was more to this offer than kind-hearted help.
Kelly’s face paled. “We’d like to adopt your baby.”
Jillian rushed in to explain. “Kelly is unable to have children. They want to have you live with them and get to know them. Then if you decide to give up your child, they’d like to adopt it.”
Susan freed her hand from Jillian's grip. “What if I decide to have an abortion?”
“I don’t think that’s what you want, but if it is, then we will have to abide by your decision.” Kelly gripped her hands into knots, her knuckles turning white.
Susan’s stood and paced restlessly across the room. “What do you want your maid to do?”
Kelly described the business part of the arrangement. “Keep the house clean, run errands, and watch the place while we’re away.”
“How much will it pay?” Susan stood still for a moment waiting for the answer. Her hand toyed with the long gold loop in her ear.
“You’ll have your own room, food, and spending money. Let say fifty dollars a week.” Jason offered.
Jillian could see Susan’s sharp mind working the figures. “That wouldn’t be enough to pay for my college books. My parents said they would pay for the classes. But I have to pay for my books and my living expenses.” She stepped behind the couch, where Jillian couldn’t see her face. “I have a job now and can pay for my first semester books, and I’ve got a place to stay for a few weeks but I need a job in Dallas.”
“We’ll cover your books,” Jason agreed. “But if you don’t make at least a B in your classes, you have to pay us back.”
“No problem.” Susan's voice held confidence. “When would you want me to start?”
Kelly jumped back into the conversation. “When does school start?”
“Middle of August.” Susan ran her hands along the back of the couch.
“How about the middle of September? That way you’ll have a chance to settle into going to school before moving in with us,” Kelly replied.
Susan didn't answer as if considering the arrangement. “Are you two going to be married by then? Otherwise my parents will never go for this.”
Jason smiled at his fiancée and nodded. “We’ll be married. But what about you? Are you planning on telling your parents about your pregnancy?”
Susan clutched her hands together. “I haven’t decided yet. This is my problem and I should take care of it myself.”
“You know, they’d want to help if they could.” Jillian swiveled around to see the girl's face better.
She shook her head. “Yeah, right. I think I can live without telling them.”
“But if they find out on their own, they’ll be upset that you didn’t confide in them,” Jillian argued.
“We’ll see.” Susan turned back to Jason. “So do I have the job?”
“Sure, if you want it. Let me give you our phone number and address. Just let us know when you’re ready to move in.” Kelly dug in her purse for a piece of paper to write down the information.
Susan waited patiently for the information.
Jillian sincerely hoped everything would work out.
Kelly handed Susan the slip of paper. “Let us know if your plans change.”
“Middle of September should be fine.” Susan edged away from the group. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to be going.”
Jillian followed the girl to the front door.
“Thanks, Mrs. Harris, for helping me find this job. I appreciate it.”
“No problem. Let me know if there’s anything else I can do.
Susan paused and gave her a quick hug. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”
“Okay, but call me if you need me.” Jillian’s gaze followed Susan as she walked away. Closing the door, Jillian strolled back into the living room.
“We better get going, Jason.” Kelly, on her feet, was moving toward the kitchen. “We’ve got a lot of things we need to get done.”
Within minutes they were gone, and Jillian sank to the couch to catch her breath. “What did you think of the interview? Do you think Susan will let them adopt her baby?”
“There’s no way to tell.” Derek sat down on the coffee table beside the couch. “You did every thing you could to help. Now you have to leave the rest to them.”
She laid a hand on his thigh. “Well, it looks like we’re alone.”
He placed his large hand over hers. “So what do you want to do?”
“Would you be mad if I said I just wanted to lie here and do nothing?”
“No, I was thinking about heading out to the workshop to get a few things done.” He leaned down, kissed her, stood, and turned to leave.
She called out to him before he made it to the door. “However, I do plan on being in a very sexy mood in about an hour or so, if you want to join me.”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
She closed her eyes and thought about all the wonderful ways she'd enjoy him later.
Chapter Sixteen
Jillian unlocked the store and Karen Ann breezed in.
“Good morning, Jillian. Where’s your sidekick?”
“Morning. Derek decided to stay home for a while this morning. He wants to work on something in his workshop.”
“So how’s it going? He’s been living with you for over two months now. Are you ready to tell him the ugly truth about your marriage and kick him out?”
Jillian smiled at the thought. “No, but there are times I could kill him.”
“No.” Her friend’s eyes widened in mock wonder. “You mean that gorgeous hunk of a man gets out of line?”
“Yes. Believe it or not, he can be a royal pain in the behind sometimes.”
“No,” Karen Ann joked. “Whatever could he have done to displease you? The man absolutely adores you.”
“I know that’s part of the problem.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. Every time I try to get him to express his emotions and talk to me, he clams up.” Jillian twisted a strand of hair around her finger and tugged. “He can talk to every man that comes in here. Stand in the aisles for hours and shoot the bull. Yet, when I ask him what they said, he says something like, “You know, just the weather.” She yanked her hand free of her hair. “The man is like a high security safe. I can’t crack the lock.”
“Maybe you’re trying too hard. Relax and let it go.”
“I’ve tried, but it’s beginning to bug me.” Jillian wanted to cry. Doubts about his true feelings shadowed her every move.
“Maybe what you need is to get your mind off of it,” Karen Ann suggested. “Are you still planning on riding in the parade on Labor Day? My uncle called and wanted to know how many horses you want this year.”
“Oh yeah, that’s only a few days away.” Jillian thought about the parade. “Do you want to ride?”
“I guess. We’ve been doing it for years. But is Derek going to let you ride in your condition?”
“Why wouldn’t he?”
“I don’t know.” Karen Ann pointed to Jillian’s stomach. “Just thought he might object.”
She couldn’t see any reason for him to object. The horses were well-behaved. They didn’t stroll beyond a fast walk.
“No, he won’t mind.” She dismissed the problem and tried to come up with the number of horse she should reserve. “Let’s see. You, Derek, and me. I also thought I’d ask John Paul if he wanted to do it that’ll make four.”
“Why don’t you check with them? And I’ll call my uncle tonight.”
“Okay, check back with me and we’ll set it all up.”
“Better get going.” Karen Ann headed for the door. “I’ll talk to you later.”
****
The steady stream of customers kept Jillian busy until the middle of the afternoon. John Paul helped at the cash register, so she remembered to ask him about the parade when they had a lull betw
een customers.
“How would you like to ride in the Labor Day parade?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, every year Karen Ann and I ride horses in the parade to represent the store. I just thought you might want to join us this year, since you’re working here. I usually hand out seeds to the crowd as a way of advertising the store.”
“Okay, but let me check with my parents to see if it’s okay.” John Paul picked up the trash can and pulled out the plastic bag.
“How about you, Derek?” Jillian asked when he joined them by the counter.
“What?”
“I was just asking John Paul if he wants to ride horses with us in the Labor Day parade. Karen Ann and I do it every year. Do you want to join us?” Jillian hoped he would say yes. It would be more fun with him along.
“Wait a minute. Are you telling me you’re planning to ride a horse?”
“I’ll take out the trash.” John Paul headed for the back of the store.
Ignoring John Paul’s escape, she answered very calmly so that Derek would understand. “Yes, I’m telling you. I’m planning to ride a horse in the Labor Day parade. Do you want to join us?”
“No, I don’t think so.” He stepped closer to the counter.
“Fine.” The hairs on the back of her neck rose. He was staring at her as if she’d lost her mind. “You don’t have to.”
Derek leaned closer, his face inches from hers. “No, you don't understand. You’re not riding a horse.”
“And whyever not?” She tightened her hands into fists to keep from closing them around his neck.
“Because I said you couldn’t.”
White rage shot through her. Taking a step back, fists drawn, she exploded. “And who the hell are you to tell me I can’t ride in the parade?”
****
Derek studied Jillian. Her face flushed, brown eyes bright, she appeared to be angrier than he'd ever seen her. But why? He was only trying to protect her.
Hoping to calm her down, he decided to switch tactics. “Now, Jillian, be reasonable. We don’t want to take a chance that something might happen. Not with you carrying my baby.”
Her eyes narrowed as if he were the enemy. Her hands knotted at her side showed white lines around the knuckles. Years of dealing with security situation, had taught him to read the signs. He knew she might lose control any second and hoped he could defuse her anger. “There will be other parades.” He slid his hand across the counter to touch her but she reared back as if spooked by the gesture.
She lashed out. “You better get the hell away from me before I hurt you.”
He stared at her in disbelief. What was wrong with her? Did riding in this stupid parade mean more to her than their baby? The thought of her riding a horse sent cold chills down his spine. His own temper flared. “You’re not riding a horse and that’s final.”
He turned and stalked down the main aisle. There weren’t a lot of people in the store at the moment, so no voices reached his ears. He would wait in the back of the store and give Jillian time to calm down.
The lady was crazy if she thought he would let her take that kind of risk. A little temper tantrum would not change his mind. Derek had taken several steps down the aisle when he heard someone behind him. Hard fists landed on his back, and he twisted around, grabbing at the hands of his assailant.
“How dare you tell me what to do? You lousy son of a bitch, I’ve put up with your coddling for the last time,” Jillian screamed.
Shocked, he didn't duck the first few punches, which hit his chest. Not wanting to hurt her, he wrapped his arms around her and tugged her close with her hands captured between their bodies. He held her against the wall of his chest, as she fought to be released.
“You can’t stop me. I can do whatever I want,” she yelled in his face.
He lifted her off the ground to get her attention. “Jillian, calm down.”
She continued to struggle, increasing her movement. Her feet flayed in the air, then one connected with his shin.
He set her down, his patient gone. “Damn it, Jillian. Stop it.”
Her hands broke free and she grabbed his hair. Her voice echoed through his ears. “You will not control me.”
Derek saw red when her hands gripped fists full of hair. Pain raced through his skull. “Why you little hellcat...”
Years of training had taught him how to neutralize an opponent. With a quick maneuver, he scooped her up into his arms and placed her over his shoulder. He marched down the aisle and carried her into her office. He kicked the door shut, then sat on the couch with her on his lap.
When she struggled to get up, he used his best military voice to contain her. “Stop it. You’re only upsetting yourself over nothing.”
“Then let me go.” She wiggled but his arms restrained her.
He studied her, judged her reaction. “Will you calm down?”
Tear-filled eyes glared at him. “Are you going to let me go?”
He loosened his grip by shifting his hands to her waist. He felt her attempt to rise but his hands on her hips didn’t let her move from his lap. “I'm not changing my mind.”
She sat stiffly in his arms, staring at his chest. Tears ran down her cheeks. “Derek, please.”
Her distress rang in his ears and he read the misery on her face. It melted his heart. He couldn’t let her go, not now, not ever. He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer to his chest. He pressed soft kisses over the top of her hair. “It’s okay, Jillian.”
His hands caressed her back with slow soothing strokes. He wanted her to relax, to let go of her anger. She shouldn’t be getting this upset. Minutes passed before he felt her defeated body surrender. She buried her head into his chest, crying uncontrollably.
He held her. He had no idea what had set off the explosion of her anger. He’d heard pregnant women could be emotional, but she’d been so easygoing. Her tears eroded his own anger. He wanted to give in, but he couldn’t allow her to take such a risk. Yet, he could stand her being distress either. Placing a finger under her chin, he brought her head up so he could talk to her. “Now, Jillian, there’s no reason to get upset.”
She scowled at him, her eyes full of misery, but she didn’t answer. Instead, she shook her head.
“You’re just tired. It’s been a long day.” He rubbed her back and shoulders to ease her stress. He stood with her in his arms and laid her back on the couch. “Why don’t you lie down here for awhile and rest? John Paul and I can watch the store.”
She closed her eyes. “Sure.”
Satisfied with her answer, Derek left the room.
Maybe when she woke up, she’d be more reasonable.
****
Haunted by velvet chains tying her in knots, Jillian woke an hour or so later when she heard the door handle to her office squeak. She opened her eyes, and caught Karen Ann peeking in.
“Come on in, I’m awake.” Jillian yawned.
“Are you okay? I heard you got a little violent earlier.” Karen Ann stepped inside the office and shut the door.
“Who told you?”
“Well, several people mentioned you and Derek had a fight.” Her friend grinned. “And that you gave him hell.”
Jillian brushed stray hairs away from her face. “Anything else?”
“Only that he didn’t want you to ride in the parade and you took exception to the idea.”
“Did they mention I jumped him?”
“Yeah, but I didn’t see any permanent damage to the man.”
“I wanted to strangle him.” Jillian sat up, put her head in her hands, and rubbed her face. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so angry in my life.” She looked seriously at Karen Ann. “I wanted to kill him.”
Karen Ann grinned. “Well, now you know it’s love.”
“What? Are you crazy?” Jillian shook her head. Wanting to kill him didn’t sound like love.
“No. Don’t you remember what your mother told us about how she k
new she was in love with your father? She said that once she got so mad at him, she wanted to kill him. At that moment, she knew it was love. Otherwise she wouldn’t have cared enough to bother.” Karen Ann pulled out the desk chair and sat.
“I don’t remember her saying that.”
“Yes, you do. Remember you thought you were in love with Tommy Spencer. You’d been mooning around after him for weeks. We decided to ask your mother if it was true love. She said you would know it when it came along. Then she told us about the time she caught your father drag racing, and almost killed him.”
Jillian finished the story. “I remember now. She said she gave my dad a black eye, and refused to go out with him again until he promised never to drag race again. That was when she said she knew she loved him. Otherwise, she said, she would have just dropped him cold.”
“Do you remember the rest?” Karen Ann brushed lint from her jeans and peered mischievously at Jillian.
“No, what else?”
“She also said that sometimes the innocent have to forgive the guilty to have harmony in a relationship. It’s taken me years to figure out what she meant.” Karen Ann folded her hands together.
“Good, so tell me? What did she mean?”
“I’m not sure I’ve got it right. But I believe she meant that we have to forgive the ones we love, even when they’re wrong, just because we love them.” Her friend’s eyes shone brightly. “You love him, don’t you?”
“Yes.” Jillian did, she just didn’t want to be coddled anymore. “But why does he have to make me so angry?”
“I think, my dear, you answered your own question.” Karen Ann paused then continued. “Because you love him, he has the power to make you angry. It’s the paradox of a loving relationship.”
“I guess you’re right. But sometimes I wish I didn’t love him so much.” Jillian stood and walked to the door. “By the way, it looks like it’ll only be you and John Paul riding horses in the parade. He has to check with his parents, so if you can hold off calling your uncle until tomorrow, I’ll let you know if he can do it.”
