THE NAUGHTY ONES: The Complete 5-Books Series

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THE NAUGHTY ONES: The Complete 5-Books Series Page 41

by Kristina Weaver


  “You. You must be the most perfect man I have ever met and yet just looking at you makes me want to slap your face. It saddens me.”

  I chuckle, not able to keep a straight face at her obviously silly attempt at lying and pull her back onto her back, rolling her under me in a move that I’ve got down pat after years of seduction.

  “You think I’m perfect?”

  Please say yes, I have stupid feelings and it may just crush me if you don’t agree. It’s funny, well sort of, that the only woman I want to look at me and see perfect or worthy just happens to be the only one who probably knows or has seen my every flaw firsthand.

  Her eyes, so blue I could drown in them, stare up at me and I feel her soften a bit before she shrugs nonchalantly.

  “Sure. I’m just still hung up on the fact that you like Blink 182,” she teases, our long standing battle about good music still raging.

  “They’re a legitimately good band.” I laugh, trying not to swallow my tongue when she licks her lips and I notice the way her body is soft and plaint beneath mine.

  I’d give a limb to just kiss her right now, and I can’t imagine what that’s saying about the health of other body parts since I’d dearly love to do so much more.

  “Legitimately good at making my ears bleed,” she whispers, her eyes focused on my lips.

  “You like Britney Spears,” I whisper right back, my own tongue clamped between my teeth when she swallows and blinks at me, her smile going soft.

  “No one knows that.”

  “Good, then it’s all me I guess.”

  I’m playing with fire here and I know it. While I’d love nothing more than to go deep and hard on her right now and demand the love I pray she can feel for me again, I swore to myself I’d keep it light.

  Indie told Mom right out that Percy is terrified of committing herself again because it just ends up hurting her, and I promised myself that I’d keep things so light and easy she won’t even realize she loves me again until it’s too late.

  Not my best plan, and once again, we know that I’m not always great at the heartfelt decisions in hindsight, but this I feel certain is the only way I can accomplish what I need to. See, I need to know that when I leave here she’ll be with me. I’ve spent years without her, trying to forget and move on, telling myself that the memories aren’t as good or real as I’ve romanticized them to be.

  But they are and I know it because I feel it all right now with her looking at me with a need I’ve wanted since she rebuffed me at the wedding.

  “Marks.”

  “Can we just agree that I know you and not make it a big thing right now, Percy?” I beg.

  I don’t want her to ruin the moment, and I swear to God if I can’t at least kiss her I’ll go insane.

  “Sure, if you can agree that this isn’t going to be some deep and meaningful thing when it really isn’t. I don’t do love and emotions. We can be friends and have sex and chill together but that is it,” she warns seriously, making me groan when her hands thread through my hair and scratch at my scalp.

  “I can do that.”

  And more, so much more when this is all said and done. I just need time.

  “Good. Now get off. I got Zoolander, and two as well, and we’re watching them.” She laughs, shoving me off and hopping from the bed.

  I don’t bother to hide my hard-on, no sense in it really when I want her to see it and maybe take pity on me. Hey, I’ll take what I can get right now and call it good.

  “Why don’t we skip the movie and do something a lot more interesting.”

  That smirk comes again and I feel my heart sink when she belly laughs while looking at what should be majestic and proud but wants to run and hide to escape her amusement. Damn woman.

  “Marks, Tuesday is movie night with the basic option of a cuddle or two, or a nap before I kick your ass out and you go home. That’s it. Take it or leave it.”

  Sorry, buddy, I guess blue is your new color.

  “Zoolander I, it’s funnier,” I reply after adjusting my dick with a curse and rooting around for the wine I brought from Mom’s.

  “Good choice.”

  Chapter Six

  Oh What a Glorious Morning, or Morning Glory

  Percy

  The morning sunlight that wakes me is weak and grey as it filters into the bedroom, heralding another miserable day in the good old city made of hills and ridiculously unrealistic car chases.

  I’m warm and comfy and well rested as I stretch and sigh my joy with the world. I’ve never slept this well or so deeply and I feel great.

  Till I roll over and get a gun in the hip in the form of Marks and his concealed weapon. I want to squeak and hop out of bed to avoid whatever intimacy this situation will bring but I don’t.

  Maybe it’s the soft snuggly warmth that I don’t want to leave or the feeling of disgustingly utter contentment that I refuse to relinquish. I can’t say but for whatever reason I stay, it feels damn good when he blinks his green eyes open and smiles at me in that ruffled, sleepy way that makes my heart ache for all the mornings I’ve missed it.

  I won’t remember that I missed them because he’s a bastard, no instead I snuggle down deeper into my pillow and take in his messed-up hair, morning stubble, and sleep-laden eyes.

  “Morning, gorgeous.”

  “Morning yourself. What happened to leaving?” I ask, trying and failing to sound stern when my voice comes out husky and sexier than I intended.

  “You fell asleep on my chest and I didn’t want to wake you. Besides it was drizzling. You wouldn’t want me out in that at two in the morning, would you?”

  “Probably. But it’s a moot point now anyway. You always come loaded for bear?”

  Most guys come loaded for duck, geese if they’re really lucky. Marks is a big guy and it definitely means that he’s proportionate everywhere. Lucky me.

  He laughs and I find myself blushing when he shifts closer and pulls me in for a hug and neck kiss before rolling away and bouncing to his feet.

  “Jesus, it’s cold in here,” he gripes, giving me a stellar view as he hops toward the door and rubs at his arms to ward off the chill.

  “Indie doesn’t believe in heating because she says it’s a waste and kills the environment. I know right. She drinks coffee out of those cardboard cups like a fiend, but this is what she uses to lessen her carbon footprint.”

  “Must be all the pot she’s huffing.” He laughs, pulling the door open and hustling out to the bathroom.

  “Aaaaiiiee! Put that thing away. No wait, take it out. Is that a sock or what? Percy! Did you see the wang on this guy? And you thought twice about playing naked Barbie with him?”

  My muttered curse is lost in a laugh when I pad out of the bedroom to hear Marks muttering as he goes to relive himself while Indie is glued to the bathroom door as if she can actually see through the thing.

  “Stop it, you nut. You’ll give him stage fright. Come on. You make coffee?”

  “Do bears shit in the woods? Honestly? Is that thing for real?” she gripes sourly as I pour us all coffee and try in vain not to smile smugly.

  “All natural, babe, no lies.”

  “Shit, no wonder you turned into a crying hobo for months after he left. If I were you I’d have stalked his ass and gone Mercy on him to keep all that man goodness. Hell, never mind his goods, did you see those buns? I almost drooled just looking at those babies.”

  My humor is in full force and going strong when a now dressed Marks comes into the kitchen blushing scarlet and makes a beeline for me, narrowly missing Indie’s attempt at a butt grab.

  “Please tell me she has lucid moments,” he growls into my neck before kissing me thoroughly and sniffing at my skin.

  I almost forgot that he does that when he’s half awake and trying to come out of his fog. It always made my toes curl and I definitely feel them twitch when he smooches my neck and grabs the coffee, scrubbing at his hair as he eyes Indie wearily.

  “
That is normal. You should see her when she decides to be feisty. One time she got arrested for soliciting on a dare and—”

  “You were the one who bet me a hundred bucks I couldn’t be a competent prostitute. I was winning that bet,” she yells, giving Marks her idea of innocent eyes.

  “Anyway, she got arrested but ended up with the cop in his patrol car in the back seat, while he was on duty, proving that she has absolutely no idea what normal truly is. Welcome to Bedlam, Marks,” I continue, gigging at her scowl.

  I should mention here that the cop in question still calls her and pops in for the occasional midnight visit. Seems I’m not the only one who collects strays.

  Marks seems amused and not at all judgemental about any of it, and I find myself feeling slightly more charitable towards him this morning. The man endured Titanic and two Zoolander movies.

  “Dude, do not believe her. He was not on duty when we got nasty, that would have been wrong and morally corrupt. We screwed after and had a role-play moment where he gave me his baton—”

  “Okay. Thanks. I don’t even want to know,” Marks yells, holding his arms out to keep her quiet. “Babe, I have to get going if I want to get Finn up to speed on what’s happening at Mulligan’s. Can I see you later today?”

  I follow to the door and feel my heart sink a little because I have that thing for his mother and I can’t get out of it with Miss Slave Driver watching us like a hawk.

  “I can’t, I’m sorry, I have that dinner for your mom and Indie won’t cover for me.”

  “That’s right I won’t, because you promised to do it so stop complaining,” she yells from the kitchen. “On another note, did you say Mulligan’s? As in only the producers of the finest whiskey in the world?”

  Oh. Boy.

  “You should go,” I mutter, cringing when she comes flying around the corner and almost takes us both out in her enthusiasm.

  “Mulligan’s?”

  Marks sighs and I feel the acceptance all the way to my soul when he turns to her with a small smile and rocks back on his heels with his hands shoved deep into his pockets.

  “Yes, that Mulligan’s. Would you like me to arrange a tour?”

  “No. No she wouldn’t because she’s busy and has stuff to do and—”

  “Yes! Bucket list! That is so cool. Do you want to marry me? I have working ovaries and a never-say-no attitude to sexual experimentation,” she purrs, almost getting her ass kicked when she goes for another chance at his butt.

  “Hands off, pot smoker. I don’t think Marks wants his first ten kids to be tokers with a love of Mulligan’s on breast tap and an inherent need to get tattoos,” I grunt, scowling at his chuckle.

  “Hey now. That’s just artistic expression,” she gasps.

  “You had a penis and balls tattooed on your right inner thigh before Gruffy saw it and marched you over to Zeb’s to get it covered with that rose,” I say, ignoring the choked laughter coming from Marks.

  Indie’s lip curls and she pouts before turning to Marks and smiling easily.

  “Just trying to be helpful and point out the way, ya know,” she says, giving us both her innocent routine.

  Marks seems fascinated with her right now, sort of like he’s seeing a new species for the first time. I don’t like it. I’m not jealous, just annoyed that anyone besides me and the girls can find her this awesome. Dammit, I am so jealous.

  “Marks, get out before she violates you, and don’t come back tonight because I’ll be working. Indie, you need to lay off the ‘medicinal’ cigarettes and detox before you’re walking around drooling and muttering to people who don’t exist.”

  I don’t give him another thought as I slam the door and shove past Indie, holding my head up high through every silly cackle.

  “Does Percy Wercy have a big ole cwush on Marksy Warksy?”

  “Shut up, prostitute, and start breakfast while I try to forget the hundred and five reasons I should do the world a favor and get rid of your carcass,” I yell as I hit the shower for a quick rinse, hopefully one that doesn’t get Marks’s smell off me.

  When I get out, dressed and looking human, I’m greeted by the sound of Indie still singing her version of “Love and Marriage,” which makes me giggle.

  “Shut your face.”

  “No you shut your face, you big old grumpy poohead. I’m just being happy and real while you’re a big meanie,” she pouts through a smirk, shoving a breakfast burrito that’s so big and juicy I can feel cholesterol gearing up to attack my arteries. Yum.

  “I’m not grumpy, I’m being optimistically cautious is all. I want to do the whole friends with bennies with Marks, but the big dumb cutie screams commitment and normalcy and it’s pissing me off,” I grumble around a mouthful that makes her heave.

  “So?”

  “Soooo, I’m like the Max Black to your tattooed, badmouthed, not-at-all ditzy Caroline Channing, get it? I do booty calls and weird friends-with-benefits relationships.”

  Indie starts laughing, one of those “I am so much smarter than you” laughs and keeps eating while I squirm uncomfortably and cast her nervous looks.

  See, this is why we’ll be best frenemies for life. She’s so sly and sneaky and cool it just makes me love her even when I know she’s laughing at me and plotting something awful.

  “You know, Percy, for my partner in crime and doing all this time with me you still don’t get this shit, do you? You’ve already lived your tragedy. You got saddled with the less lovable version of Morticia and Gomez Adams and you made it out okay. You got your heart broken and survived it. That’s all done and dusted. You’ve hit your rock bottom, there’s no need to stay there and wallow because it’s only up from here on out. If you choose it.” I hate love speeches.

  I’m good at them and good at hearing them when it’s about others, but I hate them for me because I have nothing to say to them that would ever be better than what is being said.

  That doesn’t mean I have to agree, though. Does it?

  “So what? You think I’m purposely—”

  “Being a peen? Yeah. Look, what use is living without the risks, huh? You’ve never been a coward, Percy, at least I never thought you were one till I realized you were hiding behind that image you built years ago to keep people out. You need to stop being so closed off and at least take a few risks. Who knows, babe, you may actually win this time.”

  Yeah, but do I want to? Do I really want to put my neck out there and take the risk? What then? Do I move out of the city and risk myself on my dreams? What if it doesn’t work out? What if I do it all right and I end up all messed up?

  You already are.

  You pretend that you’re a player who bangs countless men and doesn’t care that people think you’re loose. You eat brownie dough out of the fridge and watch the same movies over and over again, hoping for different endings when you know it will never happen. You don’t sleep and you still talk to a dead cat that wasn’t even yours and would have chewed your face off while you slept. How is that normal?

  “What do you suggest then, and keep in mind I do not do emotionally sappy stuff and say things that are grossly sensitive.”

  Her eyes should be seeing what’s left of her brain by now, she’s rolled them so much. I choose to think it’s not me she’s rolling them at; she’s just looking for her brain.

  “Just be you instead of the Percy you think you need to show people.”

  “But what if shit goes bad and I’ve put myself out there and confessed things? What if I tell him I want to get all cuddly and he’s not into that? I could be reading him all wrong.” I groan, getting panicked at just the thought of being rejected again.

  “God, have you learned nothing from me? You don’t have to declare undying love or anything. Hell you don’t have to say a damn thing until you’re ready. All I want you to do is go at this situation with a little bit of hope and openness, Perc, that’s all. Instead of having sex and shoving him out of the door, cuddle and see what that feels
like. If he wants dinner or anything date-like, go for it and enjoy a good dinner with no stress. You don’t have to be a hearts and flowers girl to appreciate hearts and flowers. And by the way, that man is not into short flings, I know the type,” she mutters, dumping her plate in the sink and sauntering off to get showered and dressed.

  “When did you stop toking?” I yell after her, now thoroughly convinced that the stuff we’ve been puffing was not weed.

  All I get in reply is a finger and her gleeful chortle before I’m left alone to clean up and wander off to work to get things started for the day while I wait for the rest of them to straggle in late.

  ***

  “Hiya gorgeous.”

  “Hiya right on back, sexy mama,” I say to Luci, looking up from the e-mails to check her out from a distance.

  She’s lost all of her baby weight and fits into a pair of jeans that makes my hips groan, and I’m so jealous it makes me sick. The woman is no stick figure, but she sure does look yummy as she saunters in with a smile and lays a fat one on me.

  “Indie says you have an old flame hanging around. Is this one of those losers you bang in the week? I do not like them and you need to kick that stuff to the curb.”

  Her vote of confidence in me as a reasonable and rational person is life altering. Not.

  “Firstly, don’t call the Days losers, they’re good guys with issues that I have been blessed and honored to learn about. Plus, they’re all smoking hot and tasty. Secondly, no, he’s not a Day, he’s the guy I secretly dated and fell in love with in college,” I mumble, rereading the e-mail to get the order perfect.

  When I don’t hear anything after long minutes I look up to see both Luci and Callie staring at me, mouths open, eyes wide, completely shocked by my words.

  “You loved someone? In college? Oh no! Oh no, Percy, is he the reason you went all koo-koo bananas?” Callie asks, waddling over with her belly shoved out for all to see and witness.

  Hector comes in just as she reaches me and I let off a huffed laugh when he promptly takes one look at Callie and turns around on the spot, disappearing like a shot.

 

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