I Hear You
Percy
“Percy! Percy! Wake up! It’s a green for go, bubby!” Indie yells as she bursts through my bedroom door and starts dancing excitedly on the spot, her joy making her shrill and totally unacceptable at…
I lean over to check the clock and see that it’s just gone half past four in the morning.
“Ah, I need sleep,” I whine as she grabs the duvet and rips it off. “Dammit, it’s cold in here and you refused to turn the heat up again.”
“Because I love the planet God blessed us with, and every sacrifice helps. Now get your ass out of bed. Woody is on his way and we need to shake a leg. Callie’s popping the kid this morning!”
Oy vey, my poor ears.
I slouch out of bed just as there’s a pounding at the door and grab my boots and a thick hoodie, throwing it on over my Goofy bottoms and wrestling my hair into a messy knot just as Woody strolls in and shakes his head.
“Man, how do women always manage to look hot even when they shouldn’t?”
My shrug is just this side of hostile as the need for coffee, sleep, sleep, coffee starts hitting me hard and fast.
“We’re genetically superior to males, so it’s just not that hard. You got coffee in that fancy shmancy car of yours?” I grump, grabbing a scarf and following them to the elevator.
“Of course. Do I look suicidal to you? Hey, Indie? Did Fred call you to ask about the bag?”
“Oh shit! Hold the door, I need to go get it by the sofa where I left it,” she yells, her slipper-clad feet echoing in the hall as she runs out.
I feel like crap and probably look it, no matter what Woody says, perfect bastard, so I am really not in the mood when he wedges the door with a foot, leans in, and gives me a hug that’s filled with warm comfort and his woodsy scent.
“You need to call him and finish this thing, whether it’s to tell him off or get it all sorted out between you. You look like hell and I have never in my life wanted to see a woman’s panties less,” he utters, running a hand down to my waistband.
My eyes narrow and then round in mortified humor when I look down to see that I’m wearing my panties over my bottoms.
“Er, it was a long night.”
“I’ll bet. George told me you and Indie tied one on late after you got off work and hit the Blarney around two.” He laughs as we hear the door slam and the sound of running feet.
“George?”
“Thursday. You know, the sex crier.”
“Indie! You told him about the Days? You promised.”
“Whoa there, tiger, I did no such thing. This schmuck is friends with everyone and their ninety-year-old grammys. Thursday told him.”
My glare has him chuckling and he holds his hands up in surrender.
“He did. Honest. Me and George are old school pals. I was at his brother’s wedding to that tramp he fell in love with. Me and Fred laced their airport trove with diarrhoea medicine and got one of the bellboys to take a few snaps of them when he delivered the food cart. That shit was hilarious.”
“I guess I know now,” I mutter, rolling my eyes when the realization hits me.
I should have seen it right from the start but I was too miserable and selfish to even notice. Indie has a crush on Woody. Woody is perfect for her. They’re like two peas that escaped from the same pod, only one got a little mashed up while the other stayed all pristine.
“Soooo.”
“Oh give it a rest!” Indie and I both yell when he starts, obviously ready and nosey enough to fish for info about me and Marks.
“Fine. Then I guess you won’t be too interested in hearing that Markus went home yesterday?”
That about sums up all conversation after I punch him in the gut and start tearing up while Indie threatens to cut his nads off.
***
“I don’t wanna push!”
I’ve heard every variation of that yelling, some with subtitles for the deaf and age restrictions for kids, echoing down the halls for the last ten minutes.
Hangover or not I’ve been present and attending this waiting room for the last five hours as a harried Jack kept popping in to tap out. Seems Callie is less enthused with her second labor than she was with the first and has been threatening everyone with bodily harm.
At least her labor is shorter than the last one, but according to Gruffy she started this afternoon already but refused to go to the hospital right away.
So here I am again. Another birth. Another precious life that’s coming in to join our crazy crew, and I feel like some asshole just sucker punched me and left me for dead.
I want this, all of this, and I can’t have it and it’s making me sad and stuff.
Did Marks really leave? Again?
I snort at that and roll my own eyes at myself, as the thoughts keep bombarding me like they have been since I hit Woody and he refused to give me coffee in the car.
I have no right to feel anything other than relief that he’s left because I refused to talk to him and basically did to him what he did to me. I ended things and made him feel like shit.
I thought I’d be happy about that, at least in some small way. Instead I just feel alone and messed up that he gave up so easily.
Not easily, idiot. He took the hint.
Yeah, like I did that first time. Shoot, I should really not go on thinking about this stuff and draw parallels because I’m starting to not like myself again. Damn.
I do know something though after five hours of everyone avoiding me and leaving me alone to think and soul search. I’m done hiding. Tomorrow, or today really, since it’s like ten in the morning, I’m going to call all of the Days and have them over for the official break-up moment.
Then I have a ton of stuff to do.
I have savings from that last two years that I haven’t touched, and I still happen to have all of my sample dresses in my closet, so I think I am pretty set for this next step.
I also spent a while Googling and it was informative, way more informative than Marks was with me. I learned that the “little farm” he downplayed is in fact one of the biggest organic outfits in Tennessee and that his place supplies a lot of restaurants with produce.
After even more digging I managed to find a picture of him when he expanded to a small selection of animals that are free range, organically fed, and in high demand.
The point is that the man’s farm is insanely successful and productive and just perfect. The house that is a distant blur in the background look big and so do the buildings off to the right.
That got me thinking and I realized something. How can I be okay and healed and all that other psychobabble bullshit when I haven’t done a damn thing to fix me and make myself happy?
No wonder I couldn’t say yes to him. I feel incomplete and I now know why. I don’t want to marry him and go live on his farm and twiddle my thumbs all day. I want to be my own person with my own successes because without that we wouldn’t last very long. I think I would sabotage things like I always do just to free him from me and my misery.
So I am going to cut loose and leave Delights to the girls. Of course I won’t budge till they can hire on another pair of hands, but after that I’ll do what I should have done years ago.
I’m going to peddle my wares, start a website and make something of myself. After that? Who knows? Maybe I’ll find the balls to actually go after Marks this time and take that bull by the horns.
What have I got to lose, right?
All said I’m feeling okay by the time an elated Jack runs in with his phone and shows us the first ever picture of baby Preston Jonathan Levin.
“Awww, he looks just like you. Callie must be fit to betide.” Gruffy laughs as everyone hugs and pats him on the back, despite his insufferable grinning.
“She said if the next one isn’t her mini me she’ll neuter me.” He laughs, getting a few blinks at the amusement he can’t hide. “Don’t worry, guys, I’m getting snipped so that won’t happen.”
> “Snipped?” Freddie laughs while Woody seems to go green at the notion.
“Dude, my wife just went through something that amazes me as much as it terrifies me. I’m done watching her go through all that pain. I’m getting shit taken care of so she can enjoy our kids and never have to do that again. This one was brutal.”
It must be nice to have a man love you that much, I think as we wait a few minutes, shooting the breeze before the nurse calls us in to see Callie and the baby.
She looks great, if exhausted, and I feel my chest tighten as I hug her and wish her all the best. This is a moment that I want out of life but won’t ever have without Marks.
Is it in me to give it up just to stay safe from a recurrence of Thursday night? I don’t think so, but like I said, these next few weeks are all for me to grow and I’ll get to that item on the list when I get there.
“The kid is adorable, Cal. Good job.”
“Yeah, I think you’ll have to give Daddy over there some credit too since his super sperm seems to be overriding all of my DNA. Have you seen little Preston? The kid is a dead ringer for Jack and my daughter,” she grumps, smiling fondly as the dad of the hour hovers over everyone who dares to touch his offspring.
“I’ll get a good look in a minute. How are you?”
“Tired. Worried that poor Luci is going nuts with her four and Jackie all in one go.” She laughs, pulling a face.
“That chick is like a cyborg and you know it. You see her get those four ruffians ready in the morning and eating breakfast? I swear to God everything her and Freddie do is timed down to the minute, and don’t forget Elga, the super nanny.” I giggle, thinking of Luci’s fight with Freddie about not wanting a nanny until she witnessed the powers that are a Norwegian no-nonsense nanny.
“I guess you’re right. I just hate leaving her.” She sighs as we watched them coo and pull faces to the poor kid before he finally comes to me.
This moment is always hard for me because it just reminds me of what I lost. Not that I am not happy for them, and not that I don’t already adore the little tyke, but still, it twangs a little.
“Hi, kiddo. Aren’t you a handsome little thing? You look just like your dad, don’t you? But I think when your milky eyes come in they’ll be just like Mama’s, huh? Yes they will,” I coo down at the blinking, bow-mouthed infant.
“What! Oh sorry, Pressie poo, come here to your mama and let me see those eyes,” Callie croons, practically taking one of my arms off in her need to confirm my lie.
Jack smiles as everyone scampers to see the kid’s eyes and I step back to stand beside Jack where he’s leaning in an exhausted slump against the wall.
“Thanks, babe, that was great. Though I reckon you may lose a limb when she figures out the boy’s eyes are all me in a few weeks.” He chuckles, rubbing at his beard stubble.
“Yeah, but by then she’ll be so bushed with two kids and all, she won’t have the strength to sink her teeth into me. What about you, proud papa, you bushed?”
“A little. I’ve been working like crazy to get things done before she had the baby and then with Jackie and Callie’s nesting phase I’m feeling it a little. I’ll bounce back, though.”
Huh. The man looks like he was dragged behind a car through a cactus patch laced with acid. He’s not bouncing back anytime soon, unless he gets a good solid eight hours before he has to start full-time parenting again while juggling his wife and his rambunctious toddler.
“Go home and get some rest while Freddie and Luci handle Jack, and I’ll stay here with Callie. She’ll be sleeping by the time we leave anyway, and I wouldn’t mind some alone time with the kid.”
That makes him slump before he shakes his head and smiles.
“I should stay here and be with Callie, but thanks, kid. It’s not like I did all that work, right?”
“Don’t be a boner, Jack. You were right here beside her the whole time and you’ve been there every step of the way since you two got together and made that first little baby. You’ve done half the work, dude. Go home, sleep, shower, and relax. We’re all here to pick up some of the slack if say, you and Callie should be human and actually need some help. Let us help.”
“You don’t mind? But you must be bushed too and you’ve been through so much already and—”
“And I am fine. I swear. Indie gave me a pep talk and slapped my ass good when I wanted to die of shame and self-pity. I’m all rearing to go and fired up anyway so you may as well do me a solid and give me a job so I don’t have to go home and watch Titanic again.”
That earns me a laugh as he starts shooing people out and leans over his wife and son with so much love in his eyes I feel humbled just standing here.
“Good. Thanks, Percy, I was trying to figure out how to kick his ass on home without hurting his precious feelings.” Callie laughs when he surrenders and kisses her before hugging me and leaving the room.
“Soooo. You want me to take him so you can sleep?”
“Nope, I’m bright eyed and bushy tailed after that lot got done with me. I swear having them all in one place is like standing on a live wire.” She laughs, waving me over to sit on her bed while she adores her baby with soft strokes and soft eyes. “Talk to me, Leighton. I haven’t seen hide nor hair of you in the last few days and it’s about time I got a chance to give you a tongue lashing about this Marks business.”
Yeah okay. It’s not like I thought I could escape yet another person ripping me a new asshole and telling me exactly where I went wrong.
“Lay it on me then,” I muse, watching the baby’s eyes droop and drift down as he falls asleep.
“You know what you did wrong already, so it’s not like I want to sit here and lambaste you, especially not after Indie and her special brand of tough love smack talk, so I will say this. Every relationship goes through ups and down. Every marriage has its rough spots, and every single time it happens it is up to you to set things right.”
I snort because hell, what can she possibly know about rough spots? Jack adores his wife and does everything and anything he can for her. They’ve been together for over a year, going on two now, and it’s been great for them.
“Cal, no offense but you aren’t exactly the right person to talk to about bad relationships.”
“You wouldn’t think so and yet, you are wrong, my friend.” She chuckles darkly, staring out of the window before turning to me. “Three months ago my body just went all out of whack and it felt like I just turned off. I swear it was so bad I hardly wanted to get out of bed in the morning. You can imagine what that did for my sex drive right?”
What? But her and Jack have been so loving and normal. I haven’t seen them say one bad word to each other beyond the usual arguing and Callie’s way with insults.
“I can see you don’t believe me and that’s good, it means I did a good freaking job of pulling myself together and sucking my shit up. See, I felt gross and fat and just tired all the time. My libido went kaboom like a bastard and that meant that I just couldn’t get with the sex no matter what he did. That was not great. Jack is a sex fiend and he especially likes it when I’m pregnant and all round with kids.”
“Huh.”
A little gross but I can stand it if what she says has any merit.
“What happened?”
“I spoke to him about it, Percy. That’s all. It’s that simple. I didn’t want him feeling rejected just because I felt terrible and unattractive and besides, the man is like a hound on my ass at all hours of the day. He knew something was up.”
“What did you do? Was he upset?”
“A little. No man likes to hear their wife isn’t into sex, but he dealt with it and we just tried harder until I got better towards the end of the pregnancy. Then it was freaking on.”
“Uh yeah, that’s nasty and you can keep the big-bellied sex stories to yourself,” I mutter, ignoring her cackle.
“Here, take him and put him in the crib, he’s out. Anyway, that’s my point, Per
cy. You have to talk. What you and Marks did was not talking, and from where I was sitting it just made things worse than they already are. I understand you felt pressured, and gee do I get how overwhelming that can be, but your response was not great and it stunk of fear instead of rejection. If you really don’t want the whole package with Marks, fine, move on and let him go, but if you love him you have to be better at the talking instead of doing what you always do and starting shit to detract from the issue.”
“I do. I’m just iffy on the timing, Cal. I want so many things before I go to him.”
“Talk to me, Leighton, and don’t skip a thing. I want to help, and Jack wants to help, so let’s get this all sorted and then see about getting you back with your guy.”
I’ve gone and done it now.
Chapter Thirteen
Getting to Know Me
Percy
“I changed my mind, I’m not ready,” I whine as three sets of boney hands shove me towards the bank doors with enough force that I almost drop my purse and fall in the ridiculously tall heels Indie shoved onto my feet this morning.
“You have two choices,” Callie says loudly, her no-nonsense tone making my pits sweat as she glares at me and coos at Preston where he’s strapped to her chest in one of those baby sling things. “You can go in there and get a loan or you can come with me and accept Jack’s help. He’s already pissed that you won’t let him give you the loan to start your business, so please do not think I’m impressed right now either.”
“God I hate you all,” I mutter, kissing Pressie’s head for luck before taking a deep breath and marching into the bank with purpose.
Yeah, I am taking out a loan after I realized that my savings just weren’t going to cut it to get things started, and no, I don’t want to borrow money from my friends because I just don’t want to.
I want my own business, grown under my own steam, and I want to be able to say at the end of the day that I did it without anyone holding my hand or rescuing me.
I feel like I’m walking into the principal’s office already. I have to, though, because after sending samples to some of the little boutiques around town and pitching it to all the right people, I now need capital to buy materials and hire a few girls to help with the machine work.
THE NAUGHTY ONES: The Complete 5-Books Series Page 46
