Blaire wondered what the woman would have to say about the feed-store owner’s daughter ending up pregnant by her youngest grandson.
She wondered if the woman already knew.
She wasn’t ready to face Rose Chisholm. Good heavens, she could barely face herself in the mirror each morning. Facing her parents had been a nightmare, Justin almost that bad. But facing Justin’s family? No way. She couldn’t do it. Not yet.
So much for her bravery, she thought as they stepped into the blasting warmth and rolling noise of the restaurant.
The food was hot and spicy, just the way Blaire liked it. The restaurant was crowded, the music loud and fast. The decor consisted of sombreros, serapes and piñatas. It was not an atmosphere for relaxing.
Justin had picked this restaurant deliberately so that Blaire wouldn’t think he was trying to seduce her, which, under other circumstances, he would most certainly do.
But in order to have any chance at a conversation, he had to sit next to her rather than across from her, and that raised her eyebrows.
“I just want to be able to talk,” he said, leaning toward her. “Without us having to yell at each other.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“Your eyes did,” he told her.
“If you’re going to read my eyes, then I don’t need to talk at all.”
“I don’t remember you being this perverse.”
“Like I said,” she told him with a wry smile. “We don’t really know each other.”
“Oh, I know what that means. It means you were on your best behavior when we dated, and now this is the real you.”
For an instant she looked startled, telling him he’d hit close to home with his comment.
“I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “Forget I said that. You’re right. We don’t know each other well enough. My favorite flower is the pansy. What’s yours?”
Blaire blinked, then stared at him. “What?”
“Your favorite flower. What is it?”
“You’re crazy, you know that?”
“I’ve been called that a time or two, but you don’t need to worry. I don’t think it’s genetic.”
She chuckled for a moment, then frowned. “Is there anything genetic I should know about?”
Justin twisted his head sideways, hunched one shoulder, and let his tongue hang out the side of his mouth. “Like what?” he asked.
She laughed.
He loved hearing her laugh. He didn’t mind making a fool of himself if it made the tension and nerves fade from her eyes.
“As far as I know,” he said, straightening up, “there’s nothing genetic from my family that should cause a problem. The kid will be part Cherokee, of course. I assume that’s no problem.”
She pursed her lips. “If it was, we wouldn’t be in this situation, would we?”
“Good point. So maybe you don’t have a favorite flower. What’s your favorite color?”
She shook her head. “You really are crazy.”
“You said we didn’t know each other. I’m trying to fix that. Come on. Give.”
She rolled her eyes. “All right. Purple.”
“Now we’re making progress. It’s mine, too.” He rubbed his hands together. “Here’s something we never talked about before. Why didn’t we ever know each other in school? I’m only three years older than you. As small as Rose Rock is, seems to me we should have run into each other a long time ago instead of just the last year or two.”
“We really are strangers, aren’t we?” she said. “We didn’t move to town until I was a junior. You would have graduated by then.”
“That’s right,” Justin said. “I remember when your dad bought the feed store. How did I miss seeing you there?”
“I don’t know. I remember seeing you.”
The news surprised him. “Do you, now?”
“I do.”
Those words…. They rang over and over in his head. Something about them filled him with both anticipation and apprehension.
“I bet things have changed a lot out at your ranch since both your brothers have gotten married in the past few months.”
“Yes and no,” he said. “The work hasn’t changed, it’s just been redistributed. We’ve taken on another hand, and Sloan and I have taken on more work, since Caleb’s over at the Pruitt Ranch now. Plus we have Pedro. He takes up some of the slack, too. And he does a lot of the things that just weren’t getting done. But the house, now that’s different.”
“You mean without Caleb?”
“Yeah, and with all the females.” He grinned. “We’ve got Emily and her two girls, Libby and Janie. And then there’s Maria, our new housekeeper, and her little baby Rosa. A man can’t turn around anymore without running into a female. And no, ma’am, that is not a complaint.”
“You like women.”
“All ages, all kinds. I just like people. Don’t you?”
She munched on a salsa-dipped chip and thought for a moment. “Not particularly. I guess I’m most comfortable with my own company.”
“Nothing wrong with that,” he said. “In fact, as much as I love my family, I’ve had my eye on one particular spot on the far side of the ranch where I’d like to build a house of my own.”
“And not live with your family?”
“This would be for a family of my own, eventually. It’s a little spot along a side road that doesn’t get much traffic. I’d build a house right between an old buffalo wallow and this little persimmon grove where the deer come in the fall to eat the ripened fruit.”
“For their sake, I hope they wait until it’s truly ripe.”
Justin laughed. “No kidding. You ever taste a green persimmon?”
She puckered her lips and made a face.
He laughed again. “You must have had Mr. Bollinger for Biology.”
“Yes, and it was hideous. That man should be shot for making us all take a bite from one of those things. I bet I walked around school with my mouth all puckered up for hours afterward.”
“You and me both,” he said with a shudder. “I’ve never tasted anything so sour before or since. Did he laugh at your class the way he did us?”
“Like we were all idiots for doing what he told us?”
“Yep.”
“Yes,” she said, laughing. “He did.”
They took their time with the meal, enjoying the food, the atmosphere, and, Blaire had to admit, the company.
Oh, she had certainly enjoyed his company in the past. That much was impossible to deny. But from what she saw of the world, once a guy got what he wanted out of a girl, he had no more use for her. It was time to move along in search of fresh game.
Such a thing had never happened to her, but she’d seen her friends and cousins treated that way time and again. She had no particular reason to trust men.
“Even if you didn’t move to town until I was out of high school,” Justin said as if the conversation had never lulled. “Why didn’t I know you until the past couple of years? Mostly the past few months, really, unless you count the few weeks you were in town summer before last, and now and then at holidays.”
She arched a brow. “Been keeping tabs on me?” The idea thrilled her.
“Now and then,” he offered with a grin. “Why didn’t I know you better before this summer?”
“Probably because I went away to college right after high school. I got my teaching degree and a job teaching in Oklahoma City.”
“But you’re not teaching here, are you? In Rose Rock?”
“No.” She shook her head and pushed the last few grains of refried rice around on her plate. “No, last June my mother fell and broke her arm. It was pretty bad. It took three surgeries to fix it. I came home to take over the office at the feed store for her and daddy. But she wasn’t well enough by the end of summer for me to leave, so I had to stay.”
“Will you be able to get your job back next year?”
She shook her head. “They’ve already sai
d no.”
“Because of all the budget cuts statewide.”
“You got it in one try.”
“Do you miss teaching?
“Like I imagine you would miss your favorite horse.”
He winced. “That much, huh?”
“That much. But I’ll get over it. We do what has to be done, right? I’ll teach again someday.”
Justin decided they had tiptoed around the subject du jour long enough. He took a deep breath and dived in. “It’s not going to be easy being a single mother.”
“Believe me,” she said with feeling. “No one is more aware of that than I am.”
“You don’t have to do it alone, you know.”
“I think the term ‘single parent’ indicates one is parenting alone.”
“I mean,” he said with a quick smile, “that you don’t have to be a single parent.”
She looked at him warily. “What—no. No way. Don’t even—”
“Hear me out,” he said before she got any further in her rejection. “Just think about it, will you?”
“Think about what?”
“About you and me getting married.”
She pushed back in her chair and made ready to rise. “You’re out of your mind.”
“I am not. It’s a good idea, if you’ll just give it a chance.”
“Why on earth would you think it’s a good idea, when we’ve been agreeing all night that we barely know each other?”
“I want my child to carry my name and not be a bastard.”
She opened her mouth to retort, then shut it before saying anything.
He had to give her credit for that. But he would add more to the deal, to tempt her. “You wouldn’t have to work at the feed store or anywhere else if you didn’t want to. You wouldn’t have to worry about money or health insurance or a place to live or climbing up and down those damn stairs to your apartment when you’re nine months along. Unless you wanted us to live there together after we’re married.”
She stared at him as though he’d suddenly grown a wart in the middle of his nose.
“Is it my words you don’t understand?” he asked, “or my meaning?”
“You really are out of your mind. Of course I’m not going to marry—”
“Wait.” He stopped her before she could finish. “Don’t answer me yet. Think about it. Will you? Please? Just think about it. We like each other well enough, and I’m pretty easy to get along with. If it doesn’t work out, at least we should be able to hold it together long enough to get you and the baby on your feet, so to speak. Unless you want me to raise the baby.”
“What?”
“I said—”
“Hell and damnation, I heard you! You can just get that thought out of your mind right this minute, Justin Chisholm. Nobody’s raising this baby but me.”
“I didn’t know, wasn’t sure how you felt about it.”
“How I felt?” she nearly shrieked. “How do you think I feel?”
“I don’t know. You’ve acknowledged that you’re carrying my child, but you’ve never indicated whether or not you want the baby.”
She crossed her forearms protectively over her abdomen. “Not want it? How can I not want my own baby?”
“Because you don’t know me very well? Because you don’t trust me at all? Because being a single parent doesn’t fit in with your plans? A lot of women aren’t too happy to end up in your shoes.”
“I’m not a lot of women,” she said hotly. “I would never give my child over to someone else to raise.”
He was starting to get a little steamed himself. “You say that like I’m some bum on the street. Like having me raise him would be like giving him to some stranger. I’m not ‘someone.’ I’m the baby’s father.”
“You think I can’t be a good mother? Is that it?”
“No, that’s not it,” he denied. “Of course that’s not it. If we get married we won’t have to argue over who raises the baby. We’ll both raise him.”
“Or her.”
“Or her. Just think about it. Don’t say no right off. Think about all the advantages. Sleep on it tonight, and I’ll call you tomorrow. If you need more time than that, just say so, but I’ll call you tomorrow anyway.”
Blaire wanted to tell him not to bother, because there was no way on God’s green earth she was going to marry a man who didn’t love her, a man she didn’t love, simply because doing so might make her life a little easier.
But she held her tongue. Still feeling guilty for his having to find out about the baby by accident, she felt she owed him. She would think about it.
She would say no, but she would think it through first.
She wasn’t sure where she would find the nerve to look him in the eye and turn him down, but she would have to manage. If she couldn’t do that, how did she think she could raise a child?
Chapter Five
Justin had told Blaire he would call her the next day. But when the next day arrived, he knew he couldn’t simply call her on the phone. That would make it too easy for her to say no. He had to see her in person. To look into her eyes when she gave her answer.
Good God, he had asked a woman to marry him. He couldn’t believe he was even remotely calm about it. Proposing marriage had not been in his plans when he’d picked Blaire up yesterday evening. At least, he hadn’t consciously thought about it.
But as the evening wore on, the idea just sort of seeped in a little bit at a time until it was just…there. A whole idea, as if it had always been there. Nothing startling or surprising or scary about it. Merely the most logical, practical thing for all concerned.
The few times in his life when he’d looked ahead and imagined himself married, logic and practicality had played no part in it. Nothing sounded more boring or deadly to him than a logical, practical marriage.
Wasn’t there supposed to be love? Respect? Passion?
He and Blaire had the passion. Or they’d had it, a couple of months ago. But he couldn’t imagine it not being there the next time he touched her. Last night he had deliberately kept his mind off such things, but the wanting had been there, under the surface, waiting to be let loose.
Respect? He respected what he knew of her. She’d gone to college, taught school, come to her parents’ rescue when they’d needed help. She had sacrificed her job for them. And upon finding herself single and with an unplanned pregnancy, she was not demanding Justin marry her or support her or anything else.
There was a lot to respect in her.
But love? Justin had never been in love, so how would he know? There was no getting around the fact that she was right about them not knowing each other well.
They knew each other well enough to make a baby, but then, that didn’t take much knowing, outside the biblical definition of the word.
But he liked her. Liked her a great deal. They were good together, on the dance floor and in bed. They were both adults. Surely they could figure out a way to make a marriage work, even if they weren’t madly in love. Maybe not having all that steamy emotion clouding the issue would be a benefit, helping them see their way more clearly.
He wanted to talk with her. If she hadn’t made up her mind yet, maybe he could convince her. Because the one thing he knew beyond doubt was that he wanted to be a part of his child’s life. No child of his was going to grow up without a father.
He wanted to talk with her, and he wanted to do it now.
But he couldn’t walk out on Sloan when there was work to be done. It had been he, himself, who had mentioned that the livestock would need hay. He’d even loaded the trailer. It was time to distribute it.
And so they set out, he and Sloan, with Sloan driving the pickup, pulling the trailer Justin had loaded with hay. Creeping along like an arthritic turtle because there were no paved or gravel roads heading into the back pastures, only rough tire tracks left by countless trips just like this one.
Sloan was driving the best he could, trying to keep the pickup from
bottoming out in the potholes.
“Can’t you drive this thing any faster?”
“Oh,” Sloan drawled slowly. “I probably could if I put my mind to it.”
“Then do it, would you? Some people have other things to do today.”
“Next time one of us runs out of things to do, we need to hook up the box blade and grade this damn road,” Sloan said.
“Grade it so we can call it a road, you mean.”
“Whatever. Anyway,” he said, keeping the rig to the same slow, lumbering pace, “what’s your hurry? The cattle and horses aren’t likely to starve to death before we get to them.”
It was all Justin could do to keep from bouncing his knee up and down. He hated doing that, because he hated it when other people did it around him. It indicated impatience with the current situation, a nervous desire to do something else. Made him feel…superfluous. Worse, in the way.
“No particular hurry,” he said, forcing a slow, deep breath.
“How’d your date go last night? Who was the lucky lady?”
He was going to have to tell the family, and soon. They had a right to know that the youngest Chisholm was about to produce the youngest Chisholm.
Before he told them, however, he would warn Blaire of his intentions. She had a right to know that he was about to share their private news with his whole family.
“The date was fine. Mexican food up in Norman. I took Blaire.”
“Blaire Harding? No fooling?”
“Why?”
Sloan shrugged. “I don’t know. Seems like you’ve been hot after her for months. I remember you hooked up with her a couple of times a while back, but you haven’t mentioned her in weeks. Are you two back on?”
“More or less. Maybe. We’ll have to see.”
It was the middle of the afternoon before Justin could legitimately shake loose and head to town. He didn’t see Blaire’s car in the driveway of the feed store parking lot, but he didn’t worry about it. It could be in the garage.
He skipped the store and went straight to the house. Blaire’s mother answered the door.
“Justin, hello. Come in.” With a big smile, she stood back and motioned for him to enter.
The Cowboy on Her Trail Page 6
