Just not this girl.
She pulls back and I bring my hand up to wipe her tears away with my thumb. Seeing her cry is like someone just punched me in the stomach. She kisses me chastely and I can taste the saltiness of the tears still falling.
“I better go,” she whispers against my lips. It seems so final and it’s times like these that I wish I was more of a selfish bastard.
“No more tears, sweetheart. I’ll see you soon.” She nods and gives a small smile as she walks out the door. I’ve sent her off into the arms of another man, who the hell does that? Something snaps inside me that makes me reach for the nearest thing I can find, a coffee mug, and throw it at the wall.
Chapter Eight
James
Saturday night was a night I never wish to repeat. Seeing Laurel and Murphy kissing and flirting and joking around was too much to handle. All I wanted to do was pull her into me and kiss his name right out her head. So Monday comes and I vow to put myself on the charm offensive. We have a meeting scheduled, at my house of all places, so I need to do some recon and find out what’s happening between them. I’m going to blow my top if they’re actually together.
Six p.m. on the dot and I’m standing in my hallway staring at the front door like a teenage girl waiting for her prom date. Even though I’m right there, when the bell rings I count to ten before answering. I can’t appear to be over-eager.
“Hey, come on in.” She’s looking effortlessly beautiful today in a black dress and heels, and as she passes I do a really creepy thing and smell her. And it’s incredible; like strawberries and roses.
“Hi. Thanks. How are you?” She smiles, and shifts awkwardly between her feet.
“I’m good, thanks. Did you have a good night Saturday?” When I see her face drop I scold myself for being such a jerk. I don’t know what’s happening between them yet so I can’t blow this.
“Yeah it was good, Jen enjoyed herself so that’s all that matters.”
“Yeah. Do you want to come through?” I start walking through to the kitchen and gesture for her to follow. I should have been working today but I’ve spent the afternoon cleaning and tidying up; the last thing I want is for her to think I’m some kind of slob. The kitchen is what attracted me to this house, it’s large with a big island in the middle. The cabinets are cream with solid oak worktops, and I like the homely, country feel it gives off. All the appliances are integrated and there’s plenty of cupboard space so it looks minimalistic. There’s also room at the end for a table and chairs so I bought a solid oak six-seater. When I lived with my parents, we had the same kind of kitchen so it always reminds me of mum.
“Wow, this is amazing. I’ve always wondered what your house looks like inside.” Her eyes meet mine, then she quickly looks away as though she’s embarrassed by what she’s just said but she recovers from it well. “I mean, I’ve always thought it would be interesting to see inside the house of an interior designer. And you’re the only one I know.” She shrugs indifferently and I smile and nod an understanding, even though I don’t understand. So she’s been thinking about seeing inside my house, so has she been thinking about me?
“Do you want a drink?”
I also went shopping and bought the drinks I know she likes. As if she didn’t have a big enough hold over me already, I’m now running around to please her and I can’t even tell her. I’ve bought wine, Chardonnay, because she drinks it all the time when we’re out; Tequila, because that’s her shot whenever she’s in the mood; Sprite, in case she’s not feeling alcohol and coffee, even though I don’t ever drink that shit. If we were together I’d call myself whipped but we’re not so I don’t know what the hell I am.
“Yeah that would be great. I’ll just have whatever you’re having.”
“Well I’m having a beer.” I look at her trying to hide a laugh because I know she hates beer. She wrinkles her nose which is cute as hell and replies slowly, “Yeah that’s fine,” as though she’s just realised what she’s agreeing to.
I can’t hide it anymore, I burst out laughing. “Surely you know me well enough now not to just be polite. I’ve got wine?”
She breathes a sigh of relief and nods animatedly, “Yes thank you.”
I pour out the wine and hand the glass to her. She sips slowly, and frowns when she lets the liquid hit the back of her throat. Her eyes meet mine and she tilts her head questioningly, “Yellow Tail?”
I shrug, realising that she’s a big wine drinker and of course she would know what her favourite wine tastes like.
“Yeah, I’ve seen you drink it before so it made it an easy choice in Tesco.” Shit, way to be subtle. I’ve got her favourite wine, that’s like declaring love to a woman.
The corners of her mouth pull up in a smile and it was definitely worth it. We head out the kitchen and I give her a brief tour of the house before we walk into my office which is upstairs on the second floor. I like the fact it’s upstairs and out the way, so that when I finish work I have a better chance of switching off completely. I like space, to move and to breathe, so it’s a big room with a large desk and a seating area in front of the window. The wall behind the desk is covered in shelving and books, and there’s an easel in the corner because sometimes I find it easier to sketch plans using that instead of having them flat on the desk.
“So this is where the magic happens, huh?” She teases, and if I hadn’t have just seen her with Murphy at the weekend I swear I’d think she was flirting with me. It must be the wine that’s relaxed her.
“No babe, that’s the bedroom across the hall.”
I see her eyes roll, but she’s still smiling. If she had a boyfriend, surely that comment would bother her? She’s not giving off the attached vibe, but then it could just be wishful thinking on my part.
She walks further into the room. It’s my personal space, my sanctuary, and no-one’s ever been here before apart from Blake and my dad. When I bought the house Blake did a few adjustments for me and one of them was taking the wall away from the back of this room and fitting the floor-to-ceiling glass. There are fields and parkland at the back of the house, so I thought I may as well take full advantage of it; my desk is facing it too.
She whistles her appreciation and walks right over to the window to look out, “If I had that view, you wouldn’t be able to drag me away from work.”
“Yeah it makes it a lot easier to find the motivation. But sometimes I catch myself just staring at it. Not very productive.”
She looks back over at me and perches on the edge of the sofa, “So what makes a guy like you become a designer?”
“A guy like me? What does that mean?”
Her cheeks flush; she looks embarrassed, and I know she’s struggling to reword that sentence. I get what she means, girls say it to me all the time. They think it’s a girly job, because how a straight guy could have a good eye for design, or colour or fabric is beyond them. But then I don’t usually hang around with the sharpest tools in the shed.
Her eyes widen; she flicks her eyes around quickly like she’s going to suddenly find that shovel she’s hoping for, “I…um…I just mean it’s not a typical guy job? I think…er…”
“Stop, I’m just playing around. I know what you mean.” I start laughing as relief washes over her, and she shakes her head.
“You’re so mean. I really thought I was going to offend you.”
“Nah, I’ve had it before. Interior design wasn’t something I even thought about until I was around fifteen. My mum died of cancer. She was sick for a little while. She loved to paint, so I painted with her, and I realised I was actually a lot more artistic than I thought. When she died, I was in a bad way and after a while my dad told me to redesign my room. I think he just wanted to keep me busy, but I gave it a complete overhaul, with his help, and got attached. Things were exactly as I planned out, it gave me control and an escape. Then I did most of the other rooms in the house. Ever since then I’ve been designing things. I went to uni and studied a
rchitecture but I’ve been doing interiors for a while now.”
I hardly ever talk about my reasons for starting up in design, because girls always get that glazed teary look and start to feel sorry for me but I don’t want that. I don’t remember her with sadness anymore; I know she’s in a better place and she’s free from the pain she was going through with her cancer. I look to Laurel and she doesn’t have that look. She’s smiling, and it’s such a different response to what I’m used to that it takes me by complete surprise.
“I love that. Now in everything you do, you’ll remember her. I feel the same way about my dad. He died four years ago and he always thought I was destined for great things. He said I was too stubborn to work for someone else and I should start my own business and do things my own way. Now I’m always reminded of him.”
I take a swig of my beer. That was completely unexpected, and it hits me in the chest that I’ve come across someone who feels the same as I do. It’s always a serious subject with other people; I just know how my mum would want me to feel, and that’s happy. Happy that we had such an awesome time together and happy she’s in a good place.
“Where’s your dad?” Her voice asks softly.
“He didn’t deal well, and as soon as I went to uni he packed up and moved to Spain, but we still talk a lot. He had some friends out there, I think he’s much happier now.”
Silence fills the room, but it’s not awkward, I feel like I can relax more in her presence now. It doesn’t have to be full of mindless chatter. I get up and extend my hand out to take her empty glass, “Refill?”
“Yes please.”
I walk back into the room and find her sitting in the chair at the desk looking at the plans I’ve laid out. I place the glass and beer bottle on the desk and walk round the back of her. I hear her suck in a sharp breath as I lower myself closer behind her with one hand resting beside hers, and my nostrils fill with the scent of strawberries. It’s a struggle to get the words out, I’m staring at the hair on the top of her head and I just want to reach out and run my fingers through it, but thankfully, common decency stops me; she’d think I was a creep.
I clear my throat and try to take my mind off of all the things I want to do to her, “So, you must have some changes you’d like for the final plans?”
“Yeah, just a couple though. I went through the plans with my mum and she helped. What you did was fantastic.”
“Cool so let’s go through them now.” I move another chair over and we go into more detail, changing a few fabrics, and expanding the fitting room area and adding in more storage. It takes another hour or so before we’re done; they’re not huge changes so I should be able to get them done by the end of the week.
“Happy?” I ask, leaning back in the chair.
“Very. It’s going to be amazing.”
“Any idea on where you’re going to get the money from? Are you gonna apply to the bank?”
“Um, I actually have something else in the pipeline, an investment opportunity, but I can’t say any more than that until it’s finalised.”
“Wow, congratulations. I hope it works out for you. If you need any help just let me know.”
She smiles and I can see the excitement in her eyes. “Thanks. You’ve done enough though. Honestly, this is great.”
“I’ve told you before. I’ll help as much as you want or need.” My hand reaches out to cover hers and something crackles between us, some kind of electricity that jumps between our entwined hands and I only just about manage to stop myself from reaching up to stroke her cheek.
“I should probably get going.” Her words bring me back to reality so fast I’m seeing stars. I can’t make my move now, she’s basically just brushed me off. I haven’t asked her about Ryan yet, but I can’t bring it up now, she might get defensive like she did last time and I don’t want to ruin things after we’re getting on so well.
“Yeah okay.” I try to quickly think of another reason to see her again but there’s no need because she’s got one.
“So, if this deal goes through then I want to have an event at the store. You know, announce the new development, invite clients and businesses and friends. A bit of networking really. And a good excuse for a party. Would you like to come? I can have the plans for people to look at, so they’ll know you’re the designer; it would be good for both of us.”
She didn’t need to add the last part, there’s no doubt I’ll go and support her. “Of course I’ll be there. Just text or ring me and let me know when it is.”
We walk downstairs and she slows as she reaches the door. “I know I’ve said it a few times, but thank you for doing this, I really appreciate the help.”
“It’s fine. I love what I do and if I can do some good in the process then all the better.” Before I realise what I’m doing I lean forward and kiss her cheek. It moves under my lips as she smiles and looks down fiddling with her bag.
“See you soon, beautiful.” I open the front door and give her a quick wink as she steps out.
“Bye James.” She smiles over her shoulder walking down the drive to her car and I wave her off reeling over the success of the night. I close the door and lean against it, breathing out heavily. I’ve never had to exercise so much restraint around a female before and if she hasn’t completely forgotten about Murphy yet, she will have soon.
Laurel
I arrive at my front door the same time as the pizza guy, and if he didn’t think I was a nut-job before, my cheek-topping smile like I’m the Joker has him thinking it now. I’m sad about how things ended up with Ryan, but my opinion of James has completely changed. Whether or not it will stay that way, is yet to be discovered, but for now, I’m the most relaxed around him I’ve ever been and I feel like I’ve got to know him better. Plus, the plans for Proposals are exactly how I imagined.
“That’s a big grin on your face. Care to share or do I not want to know?” Mum laughs at me and I set my bag and the pizza box on the coffee table and stretch back on the sofa.
“I’ve just been at James’ house going over the design plans. They’re the best I think they’re ever going to be. How I dreamed actually.”
“Oh I’m pleased for you honey. It’s great news. Have you looked more into the Shaw investment?”
“Yep, I googled her and she’s worked with some great small businesses. I didn’t think I would know that many of them considering she’s lived in London for years, but there are a lot of smaller chains that have now opened up more widely in the East. I think it’s the best thing for Proposals so I rang her and we’ve got a meeting tomorrow.”
I quickly get changed into my pyjamas, pick up a slice of pepperoni pizza and settle back into the cushions for a night of rom-com films; just what I need to keep the smile on my face.
“Darling, everything seems fine to me, obviously you need to show it to the solicitor you’re using, but there’s just one thing,” mum says as I show her the contract Alex gives me the next day.
“I really think you should have something more concrete in there about buying her out.”
“But mum, I’m never going to have that kind of money, and I can’t do it all on my own anyway.”
“Of course you can. You know your business better than her – she’s just helping you with the money. What if you win the lottery or do fantastically well and you have the money to buy her out. Wouldn’t you want to?”
Of course I would want to, but I just can’t see me ever having the amount of money she’s putting into my business. It’s probably not even that much to her, but it means everything to me.
“Yes I would. But I won’t ever have that money.” Mum look shifty, her eyes aren’t looking at mine she just keeps staring at the contract, and fiddling with the paper. She’s hiding something, I can tell. But I also know if she doesn’t want to tell me, I won’t find out.
“Please, just do this for me Laurel. It’s important for your future. Who knows what’s around the next corner?”
I
know what she’s saying makes sense. Of course it does, but now I am intrigued more than ever about her reasoning behind it.
“Okay, it makes sense. I’ll have her change it.”
Mum looks relieved and goes back to sipping her tea. “So what are you doing about this party then?”
“Well as soon as we both sign this contract I’ll hand drop invitations to all the relevant local businesses and some close friends and clients. Ryan’s already said I can borrow some glasses from the bar, so now I just need to get the booze and food, then we’re sorted.
“Let me know if I can do anything honey. So do I get to meet this James at the party then?”
“Um, I guess so. He said he’d come. Why do you want to meet him anyway?”
“Oh, I just want to thank him obviously. He’s helped you out, gone to all that trouble, for nothing in return.”
“What are you smiling at?”
“Darling, you like him, it’s written all over your face when you talk about him. You’ve got a goofy grin. Just like the one last night.”
I cover my mouth with my hands and do my best to wipe the smile away. It doesn’t budge. I focus on pulling my eyebrows together in a frown but that doesn’t work either. She’s right, as usual. I’ve not felt like this in ages. Darren’s there in the front of my mind stopping me from telling James how I feel. But that doesn’t stop the small ripple of hope that’s making its way round my body, that’s settling at the back and trying to push its way forward.
“I can’t wait to meet him. What’s he like? Is he good-looking?”
“Mum, please tell me you’re going to keep your cool at the party. Don’t embarrass me.” I warn her with a small smile still on my face. James and I haven’t even talked yet, I don’t know what’s going to happen. Things are better between us, but as far as I’m concerned he’s still the same man-whore he always has been so the last thing I need is my mother giving anything away. She shrugs and carries on sorting out some paperwork on the kitchen table. She knows exactly how to get information from me and I find I’m telling her more than I’ve even told Cassie.
Sweet Reflection (Truth) Page 9
