Mike looked at him, eyes stricken. “Jenny was out shopping, started feeling bad. She says she started bleeding. The doctor told her to get to the hospital.” He dragged in a deep breath and blew it out again. “God, Sean, how the hell would I live without Jenny? The baby?”
“You’re not going to have to find out.” Sean prayed he was right.
Mike’s closed fist hammered down on his own thigh helplessly, relentlessly. “I should have gone shopping with her this morning. I was busy and so damn sick and tired of looking for the perfect couch, I backed off. Let her go off alone. Idiot. What was I thinking?”
“You were thinking she’d be perfectly fine shopping on her own. This is not your fault, Mike.”
“Doesn’t matter whose fault it is.”
Sean was panicked now, too. A cold ball of dread sat in the center of his chest, but he held it back and talked his brother off the ledge. “You couldn’t have known, Mike. For God’s sake, she went to the doctor just yesterday and everything was fine.”
“Well, it’s not now,” Mike snapped. “Can’t you go any faster?”
“If we had wings!” But Sean stomped on the gas pedal and gave it everything the car had. While he drove like a crazy man, Mike called their parents and Jenny’s uncle Hank and his new wife, Betty. Family needed family when things went to hell.
Sean zipped through yellow lights, and when he turned into the hospital parking lot at last, the tires screamed for mercy. He’d barely stopped before Mike was out and running to the emergency room. A few minutes later, car parked, Sean was in there, too, looking for his brother and praying everything was all right.
It should be all right. The day before, the doctor had given Jenny a clean bill of health. What the hell could have happened so quickly?
He saw Mike at reception, then his brother was hustled into the back and Sean was left to pace through a crowded waiting room with a TV tuned to a game show with an annoying host.
Sean hated hospitals. The smell of them. The hopelessness of them. Look into any one of the faces gathered here and you’d see desperation, fear and the wish to be absolutely anywhere but there. Minutes ticked into hours and still Sean knew nothing. Mike came out occasionally just to tell him they were waiting for the doctor and to keep Sean from going nuts with the lack of information.
Jack and Peggy Ryan hurried into the waiting room and after hugs and whispered conversations, they sat down on the most uncomfortable chairs in the world to wait.
Sean couldn’t sit. Couldn’t stand still, either. He kept pacing. He walked through the room until his mother told him to go outside because he was giving her a headache. So he went and tipped his face into the ocean breeze. But there was no peace there, either, since Jenny’s aunt and uncle raced up a few minutes later demanding answers.
And the whole time he waited and worried for his brother and sister-in-law, his mind kept turning to Kate. What if this had happened to her? Hell, for all he knew, it could be happening right now. He was hundreds of miles away. If she had a crisis, chances were good he wouldn’t find out about it until it was over. What if she was out on a damn job site and something happened and she was alone?
Panic was alive and clawing at him as he wondered if Kate was telling him everything. What if she wasn’t really okay? Or if there was a problem with the baby? How the hell would he know? He stomped back inside and saw his mother and Betty holding hands and whispering while Hank and Jack sat stone-faced.
Through the raging storm in his mind, Sean realized something that seemed profound yet it shouldn’t have been. This was love. Families coming together in a crisis. Leaning on each other. Being there. His heart opened and heat spilled out, filling every vein in his body.
He looked at his parents, who’d come through problems of their own and emerged stronger than ever. And there was Betty, who’d been Hank’s housekeeper for years until finally one day they both woke up and realized that what kept them together was love. Yeah, Brady had moved to Ireland, but he loved it. And Mike lost his beloved pool table, but what had he gotten instead? A woman to share his life with.
Love didn’t stifle anything. It blossomed and grew and made lives richer. And Sean was certifiable for trying to avoid the knowledge that he loved Kate. Maybe he had from the beginning—he didn’t know. What he was sure of was that night at the view point. Something major had shifted inside him and he’d loved her then and loved her now.
Someone in the waiting room sobbed, and the sound raked along his spine like nails on a chalkboard. Kate. Her name echoed over and over in his mind. A chant. A prayer. The last two months without her had been the longest, loneliest of his life. He’d let her go because she said she loved him but didn’t need him.
“That’s a damn lie,” he muttered, flicking a glance toward the closed doors separating him from his family. “Of course she needs me. As much as I need her. And I’m going to tell her so the minute—”
Mike rushed through the double doors and hurried to the family. He was surrounded instantly with everyone asking questions at once. Until Hank clapped his hands and said, “One at a time.”
“She’s okay, so’s the baby,” Mike said first and on cue, Peggy and Betty wept. “Doc says she’s been doing too much and lifting too much, which is what I’ve been telling her, but who listens to me?”
He was smiling as he complained, and Sean could see the stark relief on his face. “I’m taking her home in a couple hours, so you guys can come see her then if you want.”
“We will,” Betty told him and rose up to kiss his cheek. “You give her our love and tell her I’ll be there tomorrow to look after her.”
“I will, thanks.”
Peggy kissed her son and said, “I’ll be there with Betty, and we’ll make sure she stays put.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
When the family left, Mike turned to Sean and breathed a huge sigh.
Everything was forgotten except for Jenny and her baby. “She’s really okay?”
“Yeah,” Mike said, smiling. “Scared me brainless, but she’s okay. Come say hi to her.” Sean kept pace with his big brother through the double doors and down the hall until they came to a curtained-off bed in the corner. Mike pushed the drapes wide and there was Jenny, propped up on pillows and smiling. “Hi, Sean, I’m so sorry I scared you guys.”
“Hey, don’t worry about us.” At the side of her bed, Sean lifted her hand and gave it a squeeze. “You okay?”
“I’m fine. The baby’s fine, too.” She rubbed her belly, then stretched out her hand for Mike, linking the three of them. “His heartbeat is strong, and he’s kicking up a storm. All good.”
Mike lifted her hand and kissed it, and Sean’s heart ached for the fear his brother had just lived through. “So what happened?”
“Apparently, I’ve been on my feet too much lately and—”
“Didn’t I tell you that?” Mike interrupted, kissing her hand again as if making sure she was still there and safe.
“Yeah, yeah, you were right. God, I hate admitting that,” Jenny said with a laugh. “Anyway, I get to go home, I just have to put my feet up more. Take it easy and quit spending all day exploring antique stores.”
“Hallelujah,” Mike muttered.
“That’s great, Jenny, really.” Sean bent over and kissed her forehead. “You take it easy and quit scaring everybody, okay? I want to talk to Mike a second, then I’ll toss him back to you.”
“Take your time,” she said, smiling as she waved them both off. “He’ll only hit me with ‘I told you so’ again anyway...”
Relief was almost painful, Sean thought. When every nerve in your body was filled with tension that was suddenly released, you were left a little shaky. He walked outside, with Mike right behind him.
“Man, I’ve never been so scared in my life,” Mike muttered, leani
ng back against the hospital’s brick facade. “If this is what having kids is like, I’m gonna be an old man before I’m forty.”
Sean slapped his brother’s shoulder in solidarity. “I’m glad everything’s okay, Mike.”
“Yeah, me, too.” He smiled, scrubbed both hands over his face. “Thanks, man. You were a rock. You came through for me.”
“Always. You need me to take you guys back home?”
“No. Jenny’s car’s here. We’re good.”
“Okay.” Nodding, Sean said, “Then I’m going to the condo to pack.”
Mike’s eyebrows lifted. “Going on a trip?”
“No,” Sean told him. “I’m going home. To Wyoming.”
* * *
The end of summer in Wyoming carried a hint of the fall to come in the breeze that danced in the trees and the thick, heavy clouds gathering on top of the mountains. Kate was really tired of being hot, so she was looking forward to fall and winter. Now, though, she ignored the late summer sun and picked her way carefully across the forest floor.
Seth and Billie, the Celtic Knot artists, had finished up their work on the cabins and were now busily handcrafting the murals in the main hotel. With her crew busy on a job site in town, Kate wanted to take a look at the gazebo they’d erected last week. No ordinary lakeside pavilion, this structure was as fanciful as the jewel-toned cabins nestled in the pines.
Scrollwork highlighted every pillar, and the bench seats followed the hexagonal line. There were carved dragons perched on the roofline like gargoyles and the view of the lake was just as mystical. Sean really was going to have an amazing place when it was all finished. Kate walked up the gazebo steps and sat down, because at seven months pregnant now, she was just tired.
But more than tired, she felt...sad. She lifted her face into the wind and thought of last winter and those precious snowbound days with Sean. She wished he was there with every beat of her heart.
“You know,” a voice said from right behind her, “I just realized how much I missed this place.”
Kate gasped and spun around to look at Sean walking toward her in long, purposeful strides. He wore a black T-shirt, black jeans and boots. His black hair blew in the wind, and his sharp blue eyes were locked on her with so much heat she could barely breathe. If this was a dream, she didn’t want to wake up.
He came up the steps of the gazebo, then paused to turn and look around. “The trees, the mountains, the sky—” He shot her a look and a half smile. “God, you’re beautiful. I really missed looking up and seeing all those stars every night, too.”
“I can’t believe you’re here.” Kate stood up slowly, her gaze locking with his.
“Believe it.” His gaze was steady, his voice warm and strong. “I’m here because I missed you, Kate. Like I’d miss my right arm, I miss you.”
“God, Sean—”
He shook his head and moved up to her in one long stride. Then he put one finger against her mouth to keep her quiet. “Nope. I came a long way to have my say, and I just want you to listen.”
As glad as she was to see him, Kate wasn’t going to stand there and be shushed. From behind his finger, she grumbled, “Excuse me?”
“There’s my girl.” He laughed and shook his head again. “Damn if I haven’t missed that stubborn streak of yours.” Before she could argue that ridiculous point, he bent and kissed her fast and hard, then lifted his head to look at her again.
Her lips were buzzing, her heart pounding. Even the baby felt like she was jumping up and down inside, as if she sensed her mother’s excitement.
“We’re getting married, Kate—”
She inhaled, but he cut her off.
“Before you start in on not wanting to risk more pain, think about the pain we’ve both been in for the last two and a half months,” he stressed. “Admit it, Kate. You can’t lie to yourself or to me about this. We’ve been too separate, lonely, miserable.”
“We have, but...married?” She’d already done that, and it had ended in heartbreak. And if she lost Sean as she’d lost Sam...she didn’t think she’d survive it.
Sean laughed and sighed all at once. “I can see in your eyes exactly what you’re thinking, Kate. But see, the thing is, I love you.”
She swayed a little and was grateful he took hold of her.
“Yeah. Surprised the hell out of me, too,” he admitted. “But more than that, I need you. And you need me.”
Kate wanted to argue that, but what would be the point? They would both know she was lying. Of course she needed him. And missed him. And loved him.
“See,” he said softly, “when you said you didn’t need me, that kind of gave me a hard punch.” He blew out a breath and scowled. “We all have secrets, Kate. It wasn’t only you in that boat. Ten years ago, I thought I was in love and she got pregnant and I...let her down.” His features softened in memory then hardened in shame. “I wasn’t what she needed because I was too selfish to see past my own life.”
“Sean, I’m sorry...”
“She lost the baby, Kate, and then told me to leave because she didn’t need me around anymore.” He shrugged. “So, when you said it, I just pulled back and locked down. Stupid.”
“Not stupid,” she said, her heart breaking for him. They all had losses, she thought now. Everyone had pain; no one got through life with just a series of one rainbow after another. “I lied, you know. I do need you.”
“Yeah,” he said, with that half smile of smug satisfaction that she’d missed so much. “I know. So back to my first statement...we’re getting married, Kate. And we’re going to live here.”
“In Wyoming?”
“Not just Wyoming, but here,” he said. Keeping one arm around her shoulders, he turned her to point out to the strip of land that ran along the lake and backed up to the forest. “I’m hiring Wells Construction to build us a house, right there.”
“A house,” she whispered, looking from his face to the beautiful stretch of land.
“Our house. You’re going to design it any way you want, Kate.” He looked down into her eyes, and everything in her lit up like Christmas. “Make it your dream house, Kate, because all of our dreams are going to come true in it.”
“But, Sean, what about the ocean?” she asked, stunned. “You love it so much. How can you give it up? And you’d be so far from your family...”
“You and the baby,” he insisted, his eyes boring into hers, “are my family.” His thumb stroked away a single tear that tracked from the corner of her eye, and his touch sent ripples of warmth sliding through her. Then he smiled again. “And with the company jet, we can travel as much as we want. We’ll keep the condo, stay there when we visit. But meanwhile, I’ll have the lake, and paddleboarding might be fun. You could even teach me to ski in the winter.”
She laughed shortly. “You’re crazy.”
“Crazy about you.”
God, Kate wanted to believe, to have everything he was offering her. To love and be loved. To make a family with him, to build a dream house on the shore of the lake and to make a lifetime of memories with this man who touched her so deeply.
“I’m just so scared of losing again.” She reached up and cupped his face in her palms. “Sean, if something happened to you, I think it would kill me.”
“I can’t promise that nothing will ever go wrong, Kate. Nobody can.” He led her to the bench seat, sat down and pulled her onto his lap. Kate stared into his eyes and heard every word when he spoke again. “If something goes wrong, we’ll handle it. Together. But Kate, what if everything goes right? What if our lives are perfect and happy and filled with a dozen kids screaming and running through the forest?”
She laughed at that even as he laid the flat of his hand on the swell of their child. “A dozen?”
He shrugged. “Negotiable. But wi
th all this room around here, I’d say we’ll need at least six.”
Kate could see it all. The two of them, a houseful of kids, taking part in the conventions he would hold on the grounds every summer. Working the hotel, being with Sean every day and night and she suddenly wanted it all more than her next breath.
“What’s not negotiable,” he was saying, “is marriage. I want you, Kate. Forever. So say yes.”
“Yes,” she said and felt a huge, smothering weight slide off her shoulders. This was right. They were perfect for each other, and together they would be able to handle anything that came at them.
“Hey!” Sean’s gaze shot to her belly. “What was that?”
Kate laughed, delighted in the man. Throwing her arms around his neck, she said, “That was your daughter telling you she’s glad her mommy and daddy are getting married.”
“That’s amazing,” he said, wide-eyed as he laid his hand across her belly, waiting to feel it again.
“So, where’s my engagement ring?” Kate asked, feeling loved and wanted and needed.
“Ha!” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a box. “No engagement ring, you’d only get it caught on a saw or some damn thing.” Opening it, he showed her a pair of stunning emerald earrings. “This is for the engagement and plain gold bands for both of us when we get married.”
“Oh, Sean...” Kate smiled through her tears. How perfect was it to be loved by a man who knew her so well? So intimately? “You really are perfect, aren’t you?”
“Don’t forget charming,” he quipped, and then he kissed her.
Epilogue
Two months later
“Kate, come on,” Sean shouted, “the storm’s rolling in, and I want to be off this mountain before we get snowed in again!”
He glanced around the main room in the hotel and waited impatiently for his wife. The whole place was furnished now—beds, couches, chairs and top-of-the-line entertainment systems with gaming capabilities in every room. They were ready for guests, but with the new baby coming, he’d made an executive decision to wait until spring for the grand opening. Give them a chance to settle into being a family first.
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