I grabbed my cap, slung my pack over my shoulder, and tiptoed down the stairs.
They were both in the kitchen. Mam stood with her hands on her hips, looking to me as if she’d grown ten inches taller. My dad had his head down as if he were studying his boots. He looked up when I opened the door. “You going somewhere?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said. I lifted a shoulder and shifted the pack on my back.
“But I am here! I am back!” my dad said. “You are angry about the chair, the little table, I know. That’s a strange thing for a child to do. Building furniture? But I will fix the silly little things you made and make them good as new.” My dad beamed a smile at me. It was such a charming smile….
I shook my head.
“We will do it together,” he said. “Like a father-and-daughter team. I will show you how to make a much better chair. I will show you what I can do.”
“I think you’ve already shown me,” I said.
The words hung in the air. I imagined them lining up like beads on a string next to Mam’s words. Mam and I looked at each other. My dad looked from me to my mom, but none of us spoke. In the silence I could hear my dad swallow.
My heart pounded as I stared at my dad, maybe really seeing him for the first time, and maybe even seeing him for the last.
Through the window behind him I could see the sun glinting off the roof of his new-model truck, see the dull rusty top of Ol’ Yeller beside it. Our truck was so beat-up it was a wonder it even made it to the barn. But it had carried us here, and it could take us somewhere else, if Mam and I decided to go. I had the feeling that we’d be making those decisions together from now on.
I looked at my mom, standing there holding her head tall. She had that look in her eyes. The one she got when she was zeroing in on a calf, about to twirl her rope and lasso it. If I’d been my dad, I’d have been careful.
“I’ve got to go,” I said before she could say anything.
Mam held up her hands as if to say “Wait!” but I kept on.
“Stew Pot’s upstairs. He’s in bad shape. He had a war with a wolf. Please check on him and take him to the veterinarian. I gave him a big shot of penicillin and doused him with antiseptic. But he’s hurt bad and you’ll have to take care of him.”
I walked to my dad and reached a hand up to his neck. He bent down and I kissed him on the cheek. I touched his scar with one finger. He reached out for me, but I stepped away. “Bye, Papa,” I said. I turned to Mam. “Don’t worry,” I said. “I think I know where Shawn is, but I can’t explain it.”
I was out the door before she could question me.
“Oh. I forgot,” I called over my shoulder. “Don’t have a heart attack when you go into the bathroom.”
I got hung up before I even got started. How had I forgotten about my backpack when I tried to go through the fence? And then, what with my hands not working quite right, it took ages to get all untangled. Down by the house a truck revved up, backfired, and roared down the road. I stood without moving, counting the seconds it took for the sounds to fade. Three minutes exactly was all it took for my dad to roar out of my life.
“Put one foot in front of the other,” he’d said. That’s what I did. Walked away, slowly, not looking back, taking forever to hike up my hill.
Maybe it was just the late-afternoon sun striking my tree, but its lights seemed brighter than ever. It seemed to glow as if it’d become some sort of holy place.
I pulled Grub’s eye out of my pocket and found it a little nook in the shaggy bark of the juniper’s trunk. I thought of a zillion wishes. Finally I boiled them all down into one.
“Just let everything be for the better.” I sighed. “Thanks.”
I shielded my eyes and looked out from my hill. Far, far away, over the Owl Creeks, the stacked clouds had reared up into scary dark thunderheads. Far below, along the stretch of road that led to the highway, red dust ghosts trailed behind a small speck, playing peekaboo as they passed behind hills. I watched the dust billow up as the speck on the road suddenly stopped.
I couldn’t breathe. In my head I could see him. My dad, sparks flying as he pounded the steering wheel with his fists while the dust settled around his pickup. He was thinking about turning around and racing back up the road to the ranch and running after me and grabbing me up in his arms and begging me to forgive him. I could see him turning all pretty rainbow colors as he told me how happy he was to have found us again, and how it didn’t matter one bit that my mom sold his guitar because it was really me he’d come back for, and not that stupid guitar.
He almost did this, I know.
For a long time the truck sat there. But then the ghost dusts rose once again, and when they reached the highway I lost him.
I bit my lip, trying to hold back a sob. Then I turned away. I’d wasted too much time. Already the thunderheads pawed at the sky. I fanned my face with my cap. At least it wouldn’t be quite so hot with all those clouds coming in. I scanned the mountains to pinpoint the spot marked by the shale landslide where I thought Shawn might be. If I hurried, I could get there in, what? I calculated the distance. Two miles, maybe, going slantways over the hills to the edge of the deep forest. Then I’d have to go up into the trees to get to the point across from the landslide landmark. From there I’d climb down into the gorge. Shawn had said something about the cave being hard to spot if you didn’t come upon it from above. But I’d find it. If I jogged all the way, it shouldn’t take long….
I launched myself over the ledge and slipped and slid down the hill, almost crashing into the tree where Shawn always left Tivo.
I should’ve saddled a horse!
No one would’ve objected. I could run back. Catch a horse…
I almost did. I even took a few steps. But no. Mam would certainly see me, and she’d be so full of questions and doubts that it’d make my own worries worse, and I’d want to run up and check on Stew Pot, and then I’d never, ever tear myself away….
Eyes on the ground, one foot in front of the other, I started off. I climbed the hill Shawn and I had ridden up with me on the back of Tivo. At least I didn’t have to cross the creek—I was headed in the opposite direction this time. Once I was on the high ground that stretched up toward the mountains I could jog along at a good pace. Dodging prairie dog holes, prickly cactus, and gnarly sagebrush, ignoring the grasshoppers that flit up and out of my path, I ran.
I hadn’t gone far when I tripped. Gasping and trying hard not to cry, I blinked up at the mountains looming ahead, and at the dark clouds sneaking down over their tops. Suddenly the whole day caved in around me. I slumped over my knees. I had to be totally bonkers. What had I been thinking? I’d have as much luck finding Shawn as I would a tick on a bear.
I’ll go back, I thought as I sat nursing my knees. I’ll call Clyde and tell him my weird little story and get help with this search. It was only because of everything going on at the house that I’d run off like I had—who could blame me?
I rubbed my knees, picked the burrs out of my socks, and was about to scramble up when I felt rather than heard something behind me. I twisted around.
They could’ve dropped out of the sky, Lone One and Light of the Dawn. They’d come up so quietly, Lone One with that mischievous look in her eyes. Sure enough, she tucked her head down. I jumped up, holding my hands out in front of me as she charged. The small horny black bumps on her head dug into my hands as she pushed hard against me. I skidded backward. But—it wasn’t a bad butt. More like a nudge, really, as if she just wanted to have fun, the way I’d seen antelopes playing butting games with one another.
Something inside me soared as a thought struck me. If I start running, they’d be so curious they’d run after me.
I spun around and took off.
In about two seconds they’d sprinted right past me. I followed behind. Even a lame antelope could run faster than I could, but having them ahead of me spurred me on. I ran as fast as I could—faster than ever I’d run before. A
fter a while the fawn dropped down, panting, behind a sagebush. Far ahead, Lone One stopped, looked back, and waited for me before she took off once again. “You’re too fast,” I yelled when all I could see was the white flag of her rump. It didn’t matter that sometimes I couldn’t even see her because of all the gullies and hills; she’d taken off in the right direction. It was almost as if she were following along those strange lines of energy that led toward the cave.
I ran past my tiredness and worries, ran past my heaviness, ran till my hurts didn’t hurt anymore. Ran till I felt like I’d burst through a barrier and was floating along on pure air.
I barely noticed the cows lifting their heads as I darted by. I didn’t pay attention to the winds picking up, or to the gloomy clouds bubbling and boiling around me. And I didn’t even see the flash of white light but I heard its furious crack! and I hit the ground hard.
“Cripes almighty,” I said into the dirt as I plastered my hands to my ears. I couldn’t tell where the lightning had struck, but it hadn’t been far away. I peeked through my fingers at the tan blur streaking back down toward her fawn. Please stay safe, I thought. I couldn’t have made it without you….
I ducked as another silvery flash ripped through the sky and slashed into the forest behind me. I squeezed my eyes shut as thunder boomed over the hills and rumbled and roared down the canyons. When the echoing grumbles faded away I lifted my head.
It was only a skip and a jump to the shelter of the forest. I scrambled up and ran for it. Brushing aside branches as I dashed into the trees, I stumbled over a dead limb and sprawled on the ground. Looking up, I saw that the tree nearest me was a huge fir with branches hanging down to the ground. Crawling on hands and knees, I wiggled under its droopy branches. A thick carpet of brown needles covered the ground. Shrugging the pack off my back, I yanked out my long-sleeved shirt, crammed my arms into it, and then pulled out my bottle of water. While I guzzled it I pulled out my sack of trail mix. I shifted it from one hand to the other. Then I held up the bottle and frowned at how much I’d drunk. I took one more swig and jammed the bottle back into my pack, along with the trail mix.
I’d better save it for Shawn. He’ll be even thirstier than I am, and a lot hungrier too.
I thought about how everything that had happened today had gone as wrong as it possibly could. The day had for sure hit rock bottom.
I covered my ears as a deafening boom shattered the air and shook the ground around me. My hands trembled as I cleared away twigs and branches and burrowed down into the soft carpet of needles. I curled up with my pack for a pillow and lay listening to the deep, low rumblings.
Chapter Twenty-eight
My first thought when I opened my eyes was that it was early dawn of a brand-new day. In a split second it hit me that it wasn’t. I bolted up with a start, my mind racing now. I rubbed my eyes and uncurled myself, squinting out through the scraggly branches.
The sun was going down, not coming up. I must’ve slept for at least several hours. Cripes. I waited for what seemed like hours until the storm finally drifted away. I’d really have to get a move on if I was going to find Shawn before dark.
I grabbed my pack and crawled out of my green cave and stumbled to the edge of the forest. At least the worst is over, I thought as I stood brushing off dirt and needles. The wind had picked up, but the storm had drifted away and now the sky to the east had turned dark and scary looking. Still, with all that blustery show, not one drop of rain had fallen. That didn’t seem fair. This whole forest was so dry and thirsty-looking it was practically begging for rain.
I started off, walking as fast as I could along the edge of the forest. I hadn’t gone far when a blister popped up on one heel. A bit farther on I doubled over with a stitch in my side. I plopped down and tugged off my boot. Shook it. Picked the burrs out of my socks. Took a deep breath.
I sniffed the air. Was that smoke I smelled?
I wrenched my boot back on and scrambled to my feet.
If there’s a fire, it has to be far away. Scent travels, I said to myself. Then I said it out loud because that’s what I wanted to believe.
I sniffed the air again. Slowly I turned in a circle, peering out over the landscape. It must’ve been my imagination, I decided. There wasn’t a ghost of smoke, not a wisp or a whisper anywhere that I could see.
The wind gusted behind me, shoving me forward and whirling dust into my eyes. I pulled my shirt tight around me and walked faster. It wasn’t far now to the ridge across from the landslide. I’d have to head back into the trees and then hike along the ridge until I found someplace where I could climb down. In the bottom, Shawn had said, there’d be a creek. It might be just a trickle, he’d said, but if you followed it down you’d find the hidden mouth of the cave.
“One foot in front of the other,” I found myself saying as the wind pushed me along. I grabbed on to my side as the stitch in it nearly doubled me over again. Now I was chanting over and over the words to that Indian prayer. “Where I walk is sacred, sacred is the ground. Forest, mountain, river, listen to the sound. Great Spirit circle, circle all around….”
Under my boots, the dry hill grass crackled like paper. The wind rattled and drummed through the trees. Above me, hundreds of rosy finches swarmed out of the cliffs.
Holding my side, ignoring the blister, I sped up. I was almost to the ridge. From there I’d head into the trees. “Whew,” I said out loud, and I breathed a huge sigh of relief.
That’s when I smelled it for sure. I looked up, dreading what I might see.
On a pale rosy cliff high above me rose a swirl of white smoke. A patch of red glowed against the dark green of the forest. I watched, stunned, as the red patch flared up and turned bright orange and black. Watched as the flames suddenly leaped from one tree to the next.
A feeling of horror ballooned up inside me. I froze, my mind a big blank as I stared at flames snaking their way toward a scraggly dead pine out on the highest point of a cliff. I stood petrified as the flames snatched at the tree and then leaped up its trunk and turned it into a flaming red torch. Then, with an earsplitting crack, the tree exploded. Blazing limbs and fiery red bark whirled through the air and came tumbling and crashing down into the forest below.
There was a sound as if the jittery trees were clapping. As I stood there the applause turned into a roar. Within seconds, before my wide eyes, it seemed as if the whole forest had burst into flames.
I couldn’t think. My feet, though, didn’t need brains to know what to do–run! Run away, run as fast as they could, run, run, back to the ranch! That’s what I started to do. Then suddenly a freezing cold terror spread through me. I couldn’t. I couldn’t.
Shawn. He was out here somewhere….
“Shawnnnnnnnnn!” I shrieked as I started to run where only a fool would go. Shoving aside branches, leaping over fallen tree trunks, I tore through the trees toward the ridge. Behind me I could feel the fire’s heat and hear a terrible roaring as if a huge monster train was crashing its way through the forest. If I didn’t move fast, it’d be only minutes before it reached me.
Through the trees, to my left, I could see the gray landslide. I cut toward it and stopped short at the ledge and gaped down. My stomach lurched into my throat. The cliff dropped about forty feet almost straight to the ground.
How was I supposed to climb down? I’d never make it, at least not here…. Quickly I scanned the ridge. Way back where I’d come from, only much farther down, there was a place where I could easily get down. Farther up, toward the mountains, it only got steeper. I looked over my shoulder. A gust of wind whipped a shower of sparks in my direction. Behind me, the fire gobbled up one tree after the other. It was too late to turn back. I was trapped.
Even if I fell, nothing could be worse than staying up here.
I crouched and reached for the exposed root of a gnarly old pine that stuck out of the side of the cliff. Don’t look down, I told myself, and don’t look back toward the fire. I stretched a foot
over the ledge and swung my foot back and forth, feeling for a foothold. My toe touched a slab. It felt as if it might crumble with my full weight, but what choice did I have? I clutched the root with both hands and swung my other foot over the cliff.
Only the gnarly root and the toehold kept me from sliding straight down. Then my other foot touched a shelf. Slowly I let go of the root. For a moment it seemed almost as if I hovered in midair, and then I snapped back close to the wall and clutched wildly at it while my toes explored the narrow shelf. Then, clawing at the wall, I inched my hands down till I crouched hunched on the outcrop. I dangled one leg over and felt for another foothold. I climbed down to it. From one narrow ledge to the next, I let my feet feel their way down. The footholds felt as soft as hands, but they didn’t crumble. And then, when I’d almost reached bottom, I let go and slid down the rest of the way.
I leaned in to the cliff. If only I could’ve stayed there forever, arms spread out and my cheek pressed against the cool face of the cliff. If only I didn’t have to think.
Slowly I pushed myself away from the wall and looked around. Down here, the light was gray-gold and fuzzy, but up there, on the rim, white smoke puffed up like Halloween ghosts tweaking their sheets in the wind.
But even down here, I didn’t feel safe. What if those trees on the rim caught on fire and fell into the canyon? I had to find the cave. Find it fast.
Wheezing from the smoke, I plunged through a tangle of berry bushes and shrub toward the center of the narrow valley, toward what had looked from above like a gray river of rocks. Huge boulders and chunky shale slabs clogged the creek bed. I scrambled up onto a boulder and turned in a circle, looking around. A trickle of water thin as a garden snake twisted down through the rocky creek bed.
“Just follow the water,” Shawn had said. “It disappears into the cave.”
Lifting the Sky Page 20
