by Ryan Michele
We’ve been in Xavier’s office most of the morning. He spoke on the phone to his guys and I continued my search for Nana. I’m positive he made better headway than I did. Then Xavier decided he needed me, and hell, who am I kidding, I needed him too. That brings us to now as we lie here catching our breaths.
A loud knock hits the door. ‘Shit. They’re fucking or just fucked. He’s gonna be pissed I’m interrupting,’ Max thinks from the other side. “It’s Max and he knows we were fucking.”
“Good. Let him know what is mine.” He lifts up and squeezes my ass so hard I’m sure they’ll be marks there. They of course go away quickly, but the one that matters on my neck will be there for eternity. I like them and I like all of the others knowing that he belongs to me. He wears my mark now and hopefully, his pack will acknowledge that.
He slaps my ass hard. “Pants on,” he orders, pulling out, reminding me of his two syllable answers. Another quirk of his.
I rise and quickly pull on my pants as he zips his fly. I sit on his lap and run my fingers through my hair. Damn, I bet look like a hot mess. My stomach growls. “You’re hungry.” It wasn’t a question. It was a demand. “I never fed you breakfast,” he growls. Fuck!
I want to put him at ease. We had so many other pressing things and I didn’t even think of it. “It’s okay. I’ll eat soon.”
“You’ll eat right fucking now.” He picks up the phone and dials. “Bring Zara some food to my office.” He doesn’t wait for a response and hangs up.
“Thank you. Remember?” The knock reoccurs and Xavier ignores my comment.
“In.” Max comes in with worry on his face. “Sit.” He does. “First, smell,” Xavier tells him and Max sucks in a deep breath. “Well?”
“Besides sex? I smell nothing. The smell Zara had yesterday is gone, but I still don’t smell you two as mates.”
“Fuck,” Xavier grunts and I can’t help but feel a pang of disappointment myself. “What did you find out?” I wasn’t aware that Max was looking for anything so my ears perk up, eager for the information.
“Not a whole hell of a lot. Ty’s hunkered down in his den. I have eyes on him, but he’ll know right away. I need the names of the other packs he took out.” He looks to me expectantly. Confidence. Got it.
I give him what I know. “Ren, Golden, Timber and Grand Lake.” Remembering that I had a role in all those wolves’ deaths is like a knife to the gut. Heavens, I’m worse than he is. Those damn black strikes will never go away.
‘No, you are not. Stop that shit right now,’ Xavier chimes into my thoughts.
‘Get out of my head,’ I fire back and he chuckles. I shake my head.
“Right,” Max speaks, gauging Xavier and me. “I’ll look into the remaining packs. There aren’t a lot left.” His voice is solemn.
“No, there aren’t,” Xavier says thoughtfully, his hand moving up and down my back. I love it when he touches me.
‘And I love touching you.’
‘Damn it!’ I’ve never been on the receiving end of someone listening to my thoughts. That alone is going to take some getting used to.
“What allies does your father have?” Allies? I couldn’t stand my father, let alone know who he did business with.
“I don’t know, but my guess is no one.” Another knock comes to the door.
“In,” Xavier demands and I elbow him again. Damn men.
Marissa walks in with a scowl on her face and when she focuses on me sitting on Xavier’s lap, her face turns red.
‘You fucking little bitch. Think you can trick my man into mating you. I will fucking destroy you,’ she thinks. Her nose lifts to the air in the room. ‘She doesn’t smell the same. Why doesn’t she smell the same?’ The paranoia in her tone is kind of funny, but I don’t laugh.
‘Marissa thinks I’m a fake and tricking you. She thinks she’s going to destroy me. Gonna be hard to do when I rip her throat out,’ I think to Xavier. ‘She can also smell a change in my scent, but not us together.’
Xavier chuckles and Marissa’s mouth drops open. ‘He’s laughing. He never laughs. Ever. What the hell is she doing to him?’ she thinks.
‘Now she thinks I’m doing something to you to make you laugh. Maybe I put a spell on you,’ I think the last part in a scary witch voice, making Xavier’s chuckles turn into a full-blown laugh. His laughter only encourages me to want to do this more. I want to hear that sound over and over again because I gave it to him. Pride blooms inside of me.
“What is so funny?” Marissa snaps, setting the platter down on the table. Fried chicken, mashed potatoes, corn, and rolls with butter and milk. Milk? And don’t they do breakfast? Pancakes, bacon, and eggs? My stomach growls at that moment and I decide I don’t give a shit. I’ll eat all of this in one fell swoop.
“Do you have any diet soda?” I ask, ignoring her question and really feeling hungry. I haven’t felt actual hunger in so long it’s foreign to me. But I want to devour this food.
“Alpha X, what is going on?” She crosses her arms over her chest, pushing her boobs up and nearly showing nipple. My wolf growls. This female must die.
“Might want to cover those up. I get really horny seeing other women’s nipples.” I wiggle my ass into Xavier’s hard erection and he groans. Confidence, strength. I got this. I chant those words in my head, hoping that they sink into my broken soul.
‘Unless you want me to fuck you in front of these two, I suggest you stop moving around.’
I laugh and give another wiggle for good measure. This is fun. No, really fun. My heart swells as he swats my hip playfully. Marissa’s mouth drops at my comment as she watches the interaction between my mate and me. You’d think she was in some other universe and had never seen mates together.
“You are not mates,” she states boldly to Xavier’s growl. I pat his arm, trying to calm him. “I don’t smell it and I won’t believe it until I do.”
Xavier’s arm muscles tick and his nostrils begin to flare. I worry that his wolf wants to come out to play, because mine sure does, and that shit would be bad at the moment. Max just sits there, smiling at the whole scene as it plays out.
‘Don’t,’ I warn Xavier. ‘Let me deal with this.’ I can handle this. I can do this. I can. I will. I let no emotions play on my face, and I’m an expert at that shit.
“Believe it or not, here I am. Oh, and thanks for the food. I hope it’s not poisoned because Xavier is going to eat some. You wouldn’t want to be the cause of him getting sick now would you?”
‘How did she know I thought about it? Now, I wish I had done it just for her. There’s always next time.’ She smirks. My hand stills at the food.
“On second thought, I’ll drink the milk. Wouldn’t want anyone to get any ideas.” I pick up the glass and take a sip.
‘What the fuck is this about?’ Xavier asks in my head.
‘She thought about poisoning me. Told you, I’m gonna rip her throat out.’ And I am. This bitch will get what is coming to her. His body tenses tighter than before. ‘Stop, Xavier. You can’t step in for me. I will not be weak again. When I have to take her out, I will.’
‘Understood.’ The pride in that one word burns my insides as elation ricochets through my body. Confidence. Oh, how I missed you.
“I would never.” Marissa tries to defend her pathetic self.
“Bye now,” I say, digging into the chicken. Damn that’s good. One thing the woman can do is cook. She doesn’t move and I raise my brow, not liking so much that I have to move away from my chicken. Doesn’t she know she should never come between a hungry wolf and her food, especially when she’s threatening to take her mate?
“Alpha X, are you going to let her talk to me that way?” she huffs, stomping her foot like a two-year-old.
‘Don’t,’ I tell him. This time the confidence in my word gives me pride.
“He is and I am,” I challenge, raising my brow. I wonder what her next move will be. Will she try to take me on or will she back down?
“Are you going to inhale it?” Max asks and the self-conscious part of me tries to creep up, but I shove that shit down. Confidence. Xavier has it in me. I need to have it in myself. I got this.
“If it’ll get in my mouth faster, yep.” Damn that felt good.
Max chuckles at me. “All right. What else?” He directs the question to Xavier behind me.
“First, we need to find out who this Seth is. Supposedly he’s from a rogue pack.” Xavier speaks over me while I consume the food, each bite better than the last. “Also, a necklace. Zara lost it at the spot we found her. Need to find it.” I focus on the fact he remembered my necklace and not that he uttered Seth’s name. I wiggle my ass in appreciation since my mouth is completely full.
“What does it look like?” Max asks and I set the chicken down, wipe my hands, and grab a piece of paper and a pencil from Xavier’s desk. I draw an upside down carrot shape, but the widest part has rounded edges with a small point coming down from the center. On the smallest end, I draw little swirls to represent the gold and platinum designs that hold the stone in place. I hold it to Max.
“It’s a crystal. Very old, like we’re talking maybe four-hundred years or so. Maybe more. My Nana gave it to me when I was young and I wear it all the time, I never take it off.” My hand flies to my empty neck. I’d only had it back for a short time before I lost it. My father took it from me and when I got out of the cage, it was haphazardly thrown in my room on the bed. After a shower, it was the first thing I put on.
“I’ll find it and get the information on the other.” Max’s utmost confidence relaxes me a bit.
“Thank you,” I whisper, and Max’s eyes flash to Xavier.
‘You’re freaking my pack out with this nice bullshit,’ Xavier thinks to me.
‘Get used to it,’ I argue. Yes, I can do this. I know there will be bumps in the road, but I got this.
“READY?” XAVIER ASKS, grabbing my hand. Damn, he looks fine. Dark blue jeans cup his ass nicely, and a black t-shirt stretches across his chest. His hair is damp and messy from the shower. It’s his best look. Yummy. My wolf and I growl in unison. “Later.”
We whimper. It’s hard. I just had him and I already want him again.
Except for the few that came into Xavier’s office, I haven’t been anywhere near the other wolves of the pack since I got here and now I face them. Face everyone that’s thinking I’m a bitch who is manipulating their Alpha. That I’m mated to someone else and somehow playing Xavier. I brace myself during the walk, giving an inner pep talk, hyping myself up in order to prepare for the onslaught. While my confidence has grown leaps and bounds with just Xavier’s encouragement, I’m still not fully back to the way I once was. In truth, I don’t think I ever will be. There is too much history there. Some things you just can’t forget. But I dig deep, finding a semblance of confidence, and hold onto it with two hands, gripping it like no other.
“Relax.” Easy for him to say. They all bow down to him. Me, they want to maim.
Xavier opens the door to the living room, holding it as I walk through. Such a gentleman. Well, sometimes a gentleman. Other times he is blunt, domineering, and possessive. But even with all those layers, our connection is strong and I’m not sure how I feel about not being able to touch him all the time. We wolves like our contact, but with Xavier, I feel empty without him around. Even when he gets up to go to the bathroom, it leaves a pang in my chest. That’s super deep.
All eyes turn toward us and I try to shut out their thoughts, focusing on Xavier’s instead.
‘My people,’ he tells me in his thoughts. ‘You will be fine. I promise you.’
“Do you smell us?” Is his first question and it kind of throws me for a loop.
Many heads shake back and forth, and grumbles of ‘no’ ring out from some of them. I wish my Nana would talk to me. I’ve kept the line to her open at all times, hoping that she would respond, but so far, nothing and I really don’t get why. I hope to the Heavens that’s she’s still alive like Maggie said.
“Do you smell her?” Noses sniff the air and I wait.
“Doesn’t smell like before. No other male is on her anymore.” One of the males states bluntly and some other wolves nod their head. Well, one hurdle down, that’s a positive.
“She is your alpha. I suggest you get used to it.” Xavier places his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his body. I love the comfort he gives me with just a simple touch. ‘You are their alpha. Show them.’ He’s right.
I suck in a deep breath, mustering up the confidence I need to address the pack. “Hey, everyone. I’m very happy that you can’t smell the other male on me anymore. He was never my mate.” Growls echo across the room, but I ignore them. “I’m not sure why you can’t smell us, but we are mated. I’m not trying to pull one over on Xavier or your pack. You don’t know me and I’d love to get to know all of you. I’m not really sure what happened the other day with Stella, but I will get to the bottom of it.”
I tune in on their thoughts, hoping I made some headway.
‘Fuck, the way she blew up the living room, I think we’re all freaked as shit.’
‘I can’t believe she threw Stella. She’s one tough bitch.’
‘Still don’t believe it.’
‘Can’t smell it.’
‘It took us hours to clean all that shit up.’
‘Hell, don’t piss her off, we’ll all explode.’
‘Fucking whore.’
“I want to address a couple of things.” Xavier squeezes my shoulders reassuringly. “First, I’m very sorry that I didn’t help clean up the mess. Therefore, I’m appointing myself to kitchen duty for the next week.” Gasps ensue from the women. Packs usually cater to their Alpha woman, but I will not have any of them thinking they are a slave to me. Never. “Second, as much as it pains me to say this, because I don’t have a freaking clue how many there are in this place, I’ll be taking over cleaning bathrooms for the week as well.”
‘You sure you want to do all that shit?’ Xavier asks, puzzled.
‘Only way to prove myself at this point. My words mean shit. They need actions.’ That gets me another squeeze, making me beam on the inside.
“Alpha X?” A male steps forward. He has light brown hair and kind, chocolate-brown eyes.
“Yes, Gary.”
“It is unheard of that the alpha female of the pack does these chores. Are you sure you want this?” His voice is hesitant, but murmurs spread through, and I listen. They are all wondering the same thing.
“It’s her choice. If this is what she wants to do because of the mess she made then I am fine with the decision.” Xavier’s voice is so damn strong and domineering. He commands the room and every single one of these wolves listen.
“As you wish, Alpha X.” Gary bows his head slightly and steps back.
‘Maybe when she cleans my toilet, I’ll stick her fucking head in it and hold her down. Drown her ass in toilet water.’ Marissa, that fucking little bitch. An idea hits.
“Also,” I add, “Marissa has volunteered to help me with all of these chores.” She gasps loudly and Xavier chuckles under his breath. “And I accept her help with them for the week.” I look directly at her. “Thank you so much for offering your time.” She stands there stunned and I have to fight back my laughter.
She shakes her head like she’s coming out of a mental fog. “I…I didn’t…”
Xavier steps in. “Marissa, that was very kind of you.” This time everyone in the room looks dumbfounded and their thoughts relay it.
“Yes, Alpha X. Of course,” Marissa replies, but steam is practically pouring out of her ears. ‘You fucking bitch. It is so on.’ This time I don’t hold it in. I laugh. Hard. Confidence is seeping through my veins and I realize just how much I truly missed the feeling.
It was never gone. It’s just been simmering under the surface, waiting for me to have a little faith in myself again.
Suddenly, I freeze, a chill snaking up my spine as a realization smacks me in the face.
‘Did you fuck her?’ I ask Xavier and he flinches. He did. Why that hadn’t occurred to me until this moment, I have no idea. Maybe being under my father’s thumb has weakened my instincts. No wonder she thinks he’s hers. ‘How many times?’ Jealousy is an ugly bitch and right now she’s unleashing and there isn’t a whole hell of a lot I can do about it.
‘Enough. It’s over,’ he demands. I don’t think so. I turn in his arms and our eyes lock.
‘It is so not over. Answer the question.’
‘I don’t want to talk about her.’ This damn man. Time to introduce him to my stubborn side.
‘Just answer and get it over with. Rip the fucking Band-Aid off.’
His brow furrows and his jaw ticks. ‘A lot, all right? I fucked her a lot.’
‘You said no one’s been in our bed. Correct?’ There is no fucking way I’m sleeping in a bed he fucked her in. He said that the space was open and no one had been there. He’d better pray he wasn’t lying.
‘Only in her room. Nowhere else.’ His tone tells me that he is a bit regretful, whether it’s for his actions or just because I found out. Who knows?
‘Fucking hell. No wonder she thinks you’re hers. She has claim to you. Your fucking cock has been inside her!’ I’m fuming, and it feels damn nice to let it out for once.
‘You done yet?’ he snaps again.
Pulling myself together, I let it go. I don’t know how, but I do. His past is his past even if I have to look at her every day. ‘Yep.’
We turn back to the crowd of wolves and they stare in shock, obviously knowing we were communicating with each other. Guess that was one way to show them we are connected. Didn’t plan on that show, but if it helps, so be it.
