by Ryan Michele
Like I said knowing and knowing are two totally different things.
He turns me around in his arms and lifts my chin with his thumb and index finger. Damn, I like that too. My eyes meet his, full of warmth and compassion. “Kenly, if you want rings, I will be more than happy to do that for you.”
My mouth drops. He would? “You would?”
“Of course. If it will make you happy.”
Wow. Just wow.
“Why don’t you exchange them?” It’s a symbol of one’s commitment to another, I’d think all species would want something like that. Especially ones that turn from human to animal.
“Transferring, or shifting as I sometimes call it,” he answers and he must see the puzzlement on my face. “When we transfer from our human-form to our wolf-form. If I should happen to forget to take off the ring before I shift, it could get caught around my paw and cut off blood circulation.” Oh shit. That’s not good. And he just freaking said paw. Holy hell. “Or even worse, the force of the change can break the metal with ease, which would most likely be the case. You’ll notice that a few wolves will wear a necklace around their necks, but it hangs down quite far as to not choke them when they shift, should they forget.”
Damn. That’s a perfect answer and there is no rebuffing it. I guess I can learn to deal.
“But, like I said. I’ll do it. Even if I wear it on a chain around my neck, I will do it. I’ll do anything for you, Kenly. Please know that.”
And I feel it. Deep in my soul, I feel it, and I trust it. Heaven help me, I believe it. Now, who’s the one that’s batshit crazy? Might as well get me a padded room right now.
Apprehension crosses his eyes, but he tries to cover. “What? Tell me,” I say, not giving him an inch. Knowledge is power and I need knowledge. It’s not like I can Google this shit.
“There is one way that we leave our…” He trails off and I just stare at him in the come-on way. “Marks on each other.” Marks?
“Like a tattoo?” I don’t mind those one bit. I’ve always thought of getting one, but never did it. “Cause I’m fine with that.”
He shakes his head, but he’s trying to stifle a laugh. “No, wolves don’t normally get tattoos.” I look at his tattooed arm then back to him. I distinctly remember Xavier having one too. “This is special. Wolves have a very fast rate of healing, as you learned earlier.” I shiver. Don’t want to think about that, dammit. “So the ink from a human tattoo doesn’t work because our skin rejuvenates quickly. We have a special kind of ink, but it’s more like a brand. It is the only way that we can get them and they stay on us. But that’s not what I’m talking about.”
“What were we talking about? Cause I kinda got stuck on the tattoo on your arm.” It’s hot, seriously hot.
He throws his head back and full-out laughs. I admit that it is one of the most delicious sounds I have ever had grace my ears. I love it and I want to make him do this often. Very, very often. He calms, wiping his eyes. “I’m talking about marking. I really don’t want to tell you this part.” His mood changes and it pisses me off. The laughter is gone and in its place is this solemn, unsure, almost scared man. What the hell?
“Go ahead.” I reach for his hands and squeeze them, hopefully reassuring him, but who knows what he’s thinking.
He lets out a deep exhale. “We mark by biting each other on the neck. I bite you, you bite me.” My insides churn at the memory of how it felt to have those wolves clawing and biting me. I pull my hands out of his and wrap my arms around my body, lifting my knees to my chest. I don’t know if I can do that or let that be done to me. I don’t think I can. It hurts too much. I felt it. I lived it. I can’t. I shake my head.
“Babe.” He pulls my body into his, wrapping me in a blanket of warmth. I sink into him. “That’s why I didn’t want to tell you. What those monsters did to you was for pain, to kill. What this is, is nothing like that. Once you’re a wolf, we’ll cross that bridge. And I want you to talk to Zara. She can answer a lot of the questions that I’m sure you have in that head of yours, but don’t want to ask me.”
Zara seemed pretty nice at our first meeting. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t the greatest either. But it hits me. “What about Lily? I’m comfortable around her.”
He sighs like something is weighing heavy on his shoulders and he’s not quite ready to release the pressure just yet. “Lily can be there, but I’d like you to talk to Zara, please. For me.”
Well, when he says it like that and makes my insides all mushy. “All right. I’ll talk to her and Lily.” Lily feels like a safety net for some reason, but that’s probably because she’s manipulating my emotions that way. Damn.
There’s something else, something I don’t want to ask because I’m sure the answer will do nothing to help me forget the attacks, but it must be asked. “Who attacked me?”
The arms around me tighten, the muscles flexing. He sits quietly for a few moments, before he speaks. “We believe it is a pack that we thought was long gone, but apparently we were wrong. The Lobo pack is their name. We have a history with them.” I suck in a deep breath and wait. “Their alpha killed Xavier’s father, our Alpha at the time. In retaliation, we killed him. His son Donte took over as alpha of that pack. But we stopped hearing about them. They only had a few in their pack and over the years, we thought they’d become extinct.”
“Why were they chasing me though? I’m just a human and know nothing of this pack,” I ask, confused as hell.
“When I spoke with Xavier, while you were with Lily, we banged our heads together to try to come up with an answer. The only thing that connects you to any wolf was the crystal you found. It’s a long shot, but it’s all we have to go on right now.” I let his words rattle in my head, trying to piece the puzzle that has now become my life together. It’s not working so well.
“Do you think the Lobos are coming back for retaliation?” God I hope not. This could get so much worse. I can’t handle what I know already, but I can hack it. I will hack it. I’ll get through all of this. Right?
“We’re not sure yet, but the fact that they are still alive and present, anything is an option.”
As his words seep into my core, I let the sunshine caress my body, sucking in its warmth. Birds fly as the resting of leaves off in the distance catches my ear. It’s beautiful out here.
He rises, pulling me with him. I guess relaxation time is over. “Ready for the rest of the tour?”
Now that a lot of heavy shit is out there I’m an even bigger jumbled mess, but no way am I letting him see that. I plaster on a smile. “Absolutely.”
WE WALK FOR WHAT FEELS like hours, but I’m not tired. I’ve actually never felt so…alive. The fresh air, the quiet of the woods along with the soft breeze—hell, I could probably lie down and take a nap, which doesn’t sound like a bad idea. The entire time, Max doesn’t let go of me. He’s touching me in some way, shape, or form. I’ve never been a really touchy-feely kind of person, but with him, I don’t mind it. No, that’s a lie. I like it. Like really like it. Maybe he is right with all this mating stuff. Lily totally believes him and trusts him without a doubt. Maybe I should, too.
He did save me and brought me somewhere safe. He’s not a bad guy in the slightest. All of this is just a lot to take in.
“Come on. I bet you’re starving and I can smell food cooking.” I instantly sniff the air, my nose twitching this way and that, searching for the scent. Nothing. I smell dirt and trees. No food. Damn. I’m a bit let down by this and even that shocks me. Max shakes his head in an I-know-what-you-just-did kind of way. Whatever.
“I’m starved.” And I am. Like really, really hungry. I’m not really sure I’ve ever been this hungry. It’s like I haven’t eaten in weeks instead of just hours. “This hunger thing. Someone said this is part of it, right?”
He keeps walking, snaking us this way and that, knocking branches out of the way as he goes. “Yes. You’ll get hungrier and hungrier until the change happens. They say food
helps you in the transformation process by giving your human self the nutrients that the wolf side is depleting as you change.”
“That’s gonna be pretty crazy when it happens.” And scary…very, very scary.
“It will be, but you won’t be alone.” I find tremendous comfort in those words and hold on to them like a lifeline.
“Let’s eat!”
WELL, IF I THOUGHT THE first meal with the crew was crazy, this is beyond batshit and into horseshit. Yep, that’s one step up. I wonder if they have bats and horses that are humans that shift. Hmm. I’ll have to remember to ask Max about that.
Two things happened to earn this new rating.
One, when we first entered the room hand in hand, the entire room erupted in cheers and I froze on the spot. I mean a huge pack of wolves cheering for me is better than attacking, but still, shocking. Then came the hugs and congratulations from the wolves—yes, that’s right. Hugs. From. Wolves. And they were nice ones. And even more bizarr-o was that I started hugging back as if they were my long-lost friends instead of wolves I just met. I even had a shit-eating grin on my face. I could tell this because the apples of my cheeks hurt. Max had whispered to me that he’d told them we were mates, but didn’t know how the reception would be because they wouldn’t be able to smell us. He even acted surprised at the cheers, but was a good sport.
The second thing stunned me. They talk about sex at the table as if it’s talking about the weather or what they are going to do today. Seriously. They. Talk. About. Fucking. Openly. In my home growing up, I had to learn about the birds and the bees all by myself. My parents have sticks so far up their asses, they poke through their heads. Hell, I wasn’t even allowed out of the house until I was sixteen. A sixteen-year-old at her very first sleepover, and worse, they all knew. That was embarrassing.
My parents would have rather cut off both their arms and ate them before they talked to me about sex. And the wolves just throw it around like it’s all the same. Kids aren’t next to them, but I’m sure with all their supersonic hearing they catch some of it. Is that okay in this world? Another thing I have to ask Max.
Also, what Max neglected to tell me about the mating ceremony is a doozie. The mated couple screw in front of everyone as wolves. They have to tackle each other in the woods and all the attendees follow. Then the man takes the woman. This gets all the other wolves riled up and they have sex too. He got a glare from me for that one, but it didn’t faze him in the least.
The one awesome surprise is a little girl named Natalie. I thought she was Zara and Xavier’s daughter but was told at the table that both of her parents passed. My heart ached for her and I wanted to hug Zara for taking her in as her own. It may not be official, but the way that woman looks after her, it’s as if she’s blood.
That brings us to now. Little Natalie is on my lap and playing with my hair, twisting it this way and that. I never had any little kids around when I grew up. I’m an only child so no nieces and nephews. Children are a mystery to me. When she first hopped up, I felt awkward to say the least, but as soon as that little girl opened her mouth there was no awkwardness left. She is so kind and sweet. I’m pretty sure I’d hold her all day if I could.
“I think we should play beauty shop,” she exclaims loudly to Zara. Natalie’s face lights up at the idea.
“And we can do hair and nails,” Zara adds in cheerfully.
“Kenly’s hair is beautiful. I think we should put lots of curls in it,” Natalie tells anyone who’s listening while thumbing through my hair. “Would you let us?” She puckers her lips and I have the word sucker all over my face.
Ugh. “Of course.”
“Yeah!” She claps her hands and bounces up and down. I hold on to her hips, trying to make sure she doesn’t fall. Then she surprises me and wiggles completely down. “I’m going to Zara,” she declares adamantly.
“You full, babe?” Max asks, sitting next to me. Again during the meal, one of his hands was on me at all times. Even when he ate, he found a way to do it one-handed. It’s pretty amazing actually.
“I am. I think I overdid it though. I never eat that much.” I pigged out. Majorly. Two plates full of food and I have no idea where it went, because I’m pretty certain that my stomach is not that large. Wherever it went, it’s in my body and I don’t feel bloated. At. All. If anything, I could grab another handful of peanuts off the counter and eat away. Nuts, I tell ya.
“It’ll be all right.” Max’s thumb gently caresses from my neck to collarbone, up and down. It’s unbelievably soothing and making me wet. Holy shit. I sit up straight and cross my legs like that’s going to help any. When talking ceases and all male eyes come to me at the table, a slow blush creeps up my neck to my throat.
Shit. Their super-sensitive smell. They can smell my arousal. Can’t they? Oh shit. Embarrassment isn’t even a word in this situation. Mortification is more like it. Even though they talk openly about sex, I do not.
Max growls loudly and I jump at the noise, his finger stroking again. Slowly, the men in the room turn away and I can feel the pressure release in my chest. Shit.
“Oh, come on. You can’t possibly tell me that you want this…this human,” an attractive blonde woman spouts bitterly. I glare at her. Who the fuck does she think she is? Well, she is a wolf who could kill me, but the human side. What the fuck?
“Marissa.” This warning comes from Zara who is now holding Natalie. Immediately, I like Zara ten times more than I did before. She doesn’t even fully know me, but she’s defending me.
“Oh, not again. Bringing home strays, really?” Marissa growls.
My temper flares and my hand goes directly to my hip, even though I’m sitting. “Who in the hell do you think you are?”
Marissa laughs, “You think you can take me, human?” She rises, pride dripping off of her as the word human comes out in a derogatory tone.
“Against the rules to fight a human,” Zara snaps. “But I’ll take you up on the offer.” She tilts her head in challenge and the air in the room becomes electric, dangerous, and a bit scary. Shit. Are they going to fight right here? And while it is true I can’t beat down a wolf, my pride says otherwise.
Marissa’s face falls, her jaw slack. “You want to fight me?” Her voice quivers in what I’m guessing is fear.
“Sure. Been wanting to kick your ass for a while now. You know that whole Xavier-is-mine thing. Now, I bet you think Max is yours and want to stake your claim.” My entire body constricts. I want that bitch. I want to beat her ass. “Too bad. He’s taken. As every other male here is because you would have smelled them by now. So please stop with that shit. You need to get over it. Not. Gonna. Happen.”
“But…you want to fight me?” Bitch is set on one thing and she’s not giving up.
“Go, Marissa, before I rip out your throat and you don’t have to worry about finding a mate.” Zara is so damn calm, cool and collected. I want to be like her when I grow up. Marissa doesn’t say a word, but she moves at the speed of light and she’s gone.
“Sorry about that,” Zara says to me.
I shrug. “Thanks.” She winks and I fall into more like with her.
“Babe, let’s go.” Max rises from the table and I follow.
“I should help clean up,” I tell him, because it is the nice thing to do. Even if they feed an army and only had to make enough for one more. It’s still polite.
“Nope.” Zara throws her napkin down and rises, Natalie still on her hip. “We’re on dish duty.” She turns to me. “See, when I got here about a month ago, I tried to make it so these guys liked me.” She waves her hand flippantly. “Anyway, I told them I would take kitchen duty and found out I liked it so, I’m hanging on to it for a bit. And this little one.” She pushes into Natalie’s tummy and she giggles. “Loves to help me.”
I’m envious of the joy on their faces. I may never get that. Ever. In the next few days, I’ll find out if it’s part of my future.
BACK IN THE BEDROOM where
I woke up earlier, the doctor is long gone, along with his big equipment. “Where did he go?” I ask, searching around like an idiot, as if he’s hiding in a damn closet.
“Xavier had him moved to his own quarters.” All right. That’s good.
“Where are your quarters?” I ask hesitantly, but I already know the answer. I feel it somewhere deep. I just need the confirmation.
“Right here with you, babe.” He steps closer to me and I breathe him in. I don’t know what scent he smells with his super-sniffing abilities, but the one I smell is all outdoorsy and hot, sexy man. My tongue darts out to my lips to try to cover the dryness.
Something hits me, like a foot to the gut. It doesn’t hurt, but it’s a powerful surge. What I felt earlier at the table, that was not turned on. This, whatever it is, is undoubtedly turned on. Holy shit. Inside my body, everything tingles in the best possible way. My stomach does a roll of delight as I wet my underwear in anticipation. You know that moment back in grade school where you accidently peed your pants because you couldn’t get to the bathroom fast enough? Well, that’s me and it’s not even close to pee.
I’ve been horny and lustful. I’ve been turned on. But this, this is something much, much more. It is a need so huge that if I don’t get some relief like now, I’m pretty sure I will spontaneously combust. I clamp my legs together, rubbing. The light bit of friction isn’t enough and the ache is getting stronger, more demanding, needier. Shit.
My brain takes a vacation and the lust takes over. I’ve never been sexually inhibited and I really don’t know Max, but my body tells me that this is what it wants, and it wants it now. Max’s nostrils flare and his green eyes go sexy hot. Need you. I try to say, but the words don’t come out. Instead, I bark “bed,” like I’m giving him an order. He says nothing, but sits on the edge of the bed and tilts his head. He knows what I need, why isn’t he giving it to me?
