Safer Outside (A Mature YA Romance) (The Outside Series)

by Kristina Belle

  Logan was waiting for me outside the locker room when we walked out. I waved to Kim as he pulled me to his chest and backed me up against the wall. I was completely surrounded by his tall frame as he hovered over me. “Now I can give you a proper hello.”

  I took a breath that sounded like a gasp as Logan lowered his mouth to mine. He held my neck with one of his strong hands and wrapped the other around my waist. My body arched into his as he devoured me. He was an amazing kisser. I didn’t have much experience but I couldn’t imagine anything being better than Logan’s moist lips smashed to mine. His tongue caressing mine. His heartbeats synching up with mine. Logan being mine.

  When he finally pulled away, we were both breathless. Our foreheads were pressed together as we tried to slow our breathing. “I want to show you something at lunch.”

  It took me a second to form words to respond to him. “What is it?”

  He kissed my nose then pulled back. “It’s a surprise.”

  We started walking to Humanities.

  I hate surprises. I’d had very few good surprises in my life. I knew Logan wouldn’t intentionally do something bad but he had no idea what I was dealing with. I could have given him some warning but anything I revealed would just lead to more questions that I couldn’t answer. I had to play along or end it and I definitely wasn’t ready to end it.

  “Should I be worried?” I teased. Part of me was a little excited about what it could be.

  “Nope. I’m worried you won’t like it but you have nothing to worry about. If you hate it, I’ll...take care of it.”

  What the hell did that mean? It sounded so ominous. “Now I’m really worried.”

  He smiled down at me. “It’s just a silly project I worked on over the weekend. It’s not a big deal.”

  Project? “Your sketch?” Did he make something for me?

  “You’ll see.” He squeezed me then dropped his arm from my shoulder as we walked into class.

  The anticipation was killing me. Once I knew it was something he made, I couldn’t wait to see it.

  We watched a movie about the renaissance period and Logan twirled my hair the entire time. It was such an intimate gesture that I felt myself falling for him harder with every brush of his finger over my spine. He pulled my desk up against the side of his and my head moved to his shoulder without my knowledge. It was like I was just drawn to him. I couldn’t get close enough. I never felt as safe and protected as I did with Logan.

  By the time the bell rang for break, I’d forgotten all about Amanda. We were heading to my locker when she fell into step beside Logan.

  “Hey, hun. You left early this morning. I wanted to see what you’re doing for lunch.” She didn’t even acknowledge me but that was okay. I didn’t have anything to say to her either.

  Logan turned to her but kept walking, pulling me tighter to his side.

  “Yeah, I wanted to pick up Liz.” He leaned down to place a light kiss on the top of my head. When I looked up, he had an adoring smile on his face. “And we’re busy at lunch. Sorry.”

  “You went to her house?” She seemed shocked. I don’t know why she would think it was a big deal. She didn’t have any idea why I kept my home life so private.

  “Kinda. Why?” Logan stopped walking and looked at her with the same confusion I was feeling.

  “I’m just surprised she would want you to see what she’s got hiding there.”

  What the fuck was that all about? “Excuse me?” I said, pulling out of Logan’s arm and rounding on her. If she had something to say, she needed to say it to my face. I wasn’t about to let her start any rumors about me.

  “Don’t play dumb, Beth. It’s not as cute as you probably think it is.” She pulled her phone out of her purse and started swiping at it like she was bored with our conversation. “We all know why you gained so much weight and then had to “disappear” for a few years.”

  I’ve never been a violent person but I wanted to beat the shit out of that bitch. Was she actually suggesting that I left school to have a baby?

  “What the hell are you talking about, Mandy?” Logan said, pulling me back against his chest and rubbing his palms over my arms to soothe me.

  “Just be careful with this one, Lo.” She gave me a look that oozed disgust. “She comes from trash and I wouldn’t want you to get dirty.”

  Logan let go of my arms and grabbed the back of Amanda’s cardigan, dragging her about ten feet away from where we stood. I could see her cowering under his glare. Whatever he said to her wasn’t nice. She looked like she was about to cry. When he released her roughly, she turned to me and quickly composed herself. If looks could kill, I would have dropped dead on the spot. There was no question how Amanda felt about me. It was exactly the same way I felt about her.

  Logan blocked my view of her and pulled me into his arms. “I’m so sorry about that. She can be a total bitch sometimes.”

  I didn’t say anything. I just took slow breaths into his chest and tried to calm my racing heart. He gently nudged my shoulders back to make sure I was okay. When I didn’t meet his gaze, he ducked down and forced me to look at him. “You don’t have a baby at home, right?” He was teasing me but I could hear the crack in his voice that told me he wasn’t sure.

  It was so ridiculous, I had to laugh. Finally releasing some of the tension in my body, I looked him square in the eye.

  “No, of course not. I had no idea people thought that. It’s actually pretty funny.” Really funny when you considered I was only thirteen when most people saw me last. “I haven’t even—”

  Oops, TMI.

  “You haven’t what?” He waited for me to finish but I just shook my head. “Don’t worry about her. I think she still has a thing for me but it doesn’t matter.”

  “It would matter a lot less if she didn’t live with you.” We started walking to the front where everyone hung out.

  Logan laughed and kissed my cheek. “She doesn’t live with me. She stays at my house but I barely see her.”

  Right.

  Kim was at my side as soon as we approached the flag pole. “What happened?” She tried to pull me away from Logan but he didn’t let me get far. I felt his finger hook into my belt loop, holding me within his reach.

  I looked over my shoulder to swat at him but his dorky grin was too cute for me to argue with. I turned to Kim with a dorky grin of my own. “What are you talking about?”

  Allie and Jen were at her side.

  “I saw Amanda yelling at you and Logan dragging her away,” Allie said. “Are you okay?”

  I’d already forgotten about Amanda’s tantrum. I was just glad Logan took my side and didn’t question her further.

  “I’m fine. She’s just pissy because she likes Logan.” I glanced back again and saw that he was talking to the guys so I unhooked his finger from my jeans and walked a few feet away from them.

  Kim, Allie and Jen huddled around me. “She said the rumor was that I got pregnant and left school to have a baby or something. Can you believe that?”

  I waited for everyone to laugh or be as appalled as I was but they just looked uncomfortable.

  “What?” I waited for someone to speak. When no one did, I turned to Kim. “Tell me.”

  “Well, I might have heard something about that but I didn’t think anyone actually believed it. I thought it was a lame joke.” She hugged me. “I’m sorry she said that. She’s just jealous.”

  “It’s fine.” It wasn’t Kim’s fault for not telling me. It would have just hurt my feelings and I was in a pretty dark place when we moved. I probably couldn’t have handled that kind of humiliation.

  “Are you girls coming with us at lunch?” Logan was at my back. He crossed his arms over my chest as I leaned on him. He wasn’t feeling me up but he could definitely feel me. I think I stopped breathing for a few seconds.

  Kim perked right up. “Sure. Are we going off campus?” Her eyes flitted from his forearms, which were resting over my breasts, to my face.
She was probably wondering if I was going to pass out or run.

  “Yeah, I want to show Liz something.”

  “Oooh, a surprise!” Kim clapped her hands real fast and bounced.

  “I don’t usually like surprises so this better be good,” I said, turning my face up to Logan’s.

  He kissed me lightly, smiling against my mouth. “If you don’t like it, I’ll make you something else.”

  “Promise?” I had images of iced cookies or a friendship bracelet in mind. Although, neither would require a trip off campus for him to give it to me.

  “Promise.” He turned me around by my shoulders and pulled me into a deep kiss. Everyone around us faded away as my world honed in on Logan Cooper and the things he did to my insides. If he wasn’t holding me in those thickly muscled arms of his, I would’ve melted into a puddle at his feet. I was so screwed!

  ~**~

  Austin grabbed a huge camera from the trunk of his car as we all piled out into a field of brown weeds. “Ladies, first.” He waved Kim, Allie and Jen ahead while Logan held my arm to stop me.

  “I don’t want you to freak out or anything.” He was more nervous than I’d ever seen him.

  “Well, now I’m starting to.” I looked in the direction that everyone was heading and didn’t see anything to worry about. The field was open space that backed up to the highway with a huge sound wall stretched out in both directions.

  Logan tugged a piece of my hair and I looked back into his eyes. “I just couldn’t stop thinking about you and I wanted you to know how much I like you.”

  “Okay.” More than being nervous, I was starting to get really self-conscious. What if he made some weird sculpture of me out of mud or something? I would be mortified for myself and for him. I groaned. “Let’s just get this over with.”

  “Well, when you put it like that...” He laughed and pulled me forward, pointing out random plants to our right as we crossed the barren land.

  As we got closer to the group, I felt everyone staring at me. I looked to them and saw that Austin had his camera pointed at me. Kim looked like a proud mama watching her baby walk down the aisle. I had no idea what they were doing so I turned to Logan for direction. He stood behind me and turned my shoulders so I was facing the sound wall.

  It took me a second to figure out where to look but when I finally saw it, I gasped. With my hand over my mouth, I stood in shock.

  In pink and white bubble letters that had to be at least four feet tall was my name, spray-painted on the wall. This wasn’t something you’d see a gangster tag with a sharpie just to be rebellious. This was art. Each letter was perfectly aligned and outlined in black with shading that looked like light was glimmering off the edges.

  I’d never really paid attention to graffiti, and certainly wouldn’t have expected Logan to be the type of guy to do it, but as I tried to wrap my mind around it, I realized how beautiful it was.

  “You did this?” I could barely choke out the words through the lump in my throat.

  “I know it’s silly but I just wanted to do something...big.” He chuckled and moved to my side.

  “But how?”

  “With a big ladder and a lot of paint.”

  Randy snorted. “And a friend that went to three different Home Depots for more of that paint.”

  “But, I thought you didn’t show people your artwork.” I looked Logan in the eye. Every time I tried to sneak a peek, he distracted me with his mouth. “I don’t.” His eyes dropped to my lips and I could see them change from shy to lustful. “But this seemed like a worthy exception.”

  It might not have been the right reaction but it was the sweetest gesture anyone had ever made to or for me and I was completely blown away. To see my name so large and in public was surreal. I couldn’t hold back my tears.

  “Hey, don’t cry.” Logan pulled me into his chest and wrapped his arms around my shoulders.

  “Why me?” I wiped my nose with the inside of my sleeve and pulled back, patting my eyes to keep the puffiness down.

  “Do you hate it?” His tan face had an unhealthy pallor to it. It broke my heart to see him vulnerable.

  “I love it.” I did. It must have taken hours to create something so precise. I couldn’t imagine doing something like that for anyone and I never would have expected him to do that for me. No one had ever made me feel memorable or worthy of taking risks. Risks were made in spite of my well being and happiness every day but never for me.

  As I looked back at my friends, I saw they were just as blown away as I was. I realized that I did matter to some people. There were people that did go out of their way to do things for me and that truly cared.

  I smiled and turned toward my wall again. That’s what it was from that point forward. My wall.

  “Really?” His relieved grin was adorable.

  “Really.” I pulled Logan down by his shirt and kissed him loudly on the lips. “When did you have time to do this?”

  “We came out here on Saturday night. It didn’t take too long.” He shrugged.

  “Isn’t this illegal?” He probably thought I was appalled by the idea of him doing something against the law. Maybe a part of me was but a much bigger part was thrilled that he was publicly announcing his feelings for me.

  “It’s not a big deal. No one uses this space for anything so I just wanted to...beautify it.”

  “Do you do this for all your girlfriends?” I imagined a big ‘Rebecca’ lived underneath my name. It was a bit creepy.

  “Nope.” Logan’s index finger drew a path from the base of my ear, down my jaw, stopping in the middle of my chin. “Just you.”

  “Smile!” Austin’s voice pulled me out of my haze.

  I looked back just as he snapped the first of about a hundred pictures of Logan and I in front of my name.

  ~**~

  “I mean really, Liz. Who does that?” Kim was still obsessing over the wall art while we walked to her house after school. The Jameson kids were going home with a friend that day so I didn’t have to work.

  “He’s just really into drawing. It’s not a big deal.” I couldn’t help the stupid grin that I’d been trying to hold back all day from making another appearance. Every time I thought about Logan painting my name in giant letters, I fell a little bit harder for him.

  “Don’t give me that shit about drawing. He’s just really into you.” She wrapped her small, perfectly manicured fingers around my arm and whispered into my ear, “Actually, he’s probably just trying to get into you.”

  I laughed and swatted at her hand.

  “He’s not a perv like the guys you go out with.” I felt the instinct to defend him but I didn’t actually know what his intentions were about us getting physical.

  I assumed he’d been sexually active with his ex and maybe lots of other girls. We never talked about it, and I didn’t actually want to, but it would come up eventually. No seventeen-year-old guy would wait forever.

  “I hate to break it to you, honey, but according to Becky, they did it like rabbits. She used to go on and on about it.” She pulled her long hair into two low ponytails that rested on each of her shoulders. Even at the end of the day, she looked amazing.

  Becky was a sore subject. Within an hour of getting back to school, word about my wall was all over campus. People kept asking to see pictures of it on my phone. Becky even cornered me in my technology class and asked if it was true. I played dumb just to see what she said. She huffed and swung her big boobs around and stomped out of the room. I didn’t know why she cared but I added her to the list of people to keep an eye on.

  “I guess I’ll have to take some lessons from the energizer bunny,” I said sarcastically.

  “I’m serious. Are you ready to sleep with him?”

  Was I? “No, not yet.” I pulled some gum from my purse. “Well, maybe. On the one hand, I get so caught up with him that I’d do just about anything. On the other hand, I just met him.”

  “Just don’t do anything you’
re gonna regret.” She sighed. “I know he’s super sweet and really hot but you’ve got a lot to consider if you get serious with him.”

  “I know.” She was right, as usual. And I was trying to create a fairy tale where one would never exist. My phone buzzed and I used the excuse of looking at it to collect my thoughts.

  “Is that lover boy?” Kim asked, nodding toward the phone in my hand.

  “Maybe.” I grinned while I read Logan’s text.

  Sorry I couldn’t drive U home. C U tonight?

  “You need to work on your poker face.” She leaned over to read my screen. “Tell him to come over. We can watch a movie or something. I’ll text Austin too.”

  Kim wants you to come over tonight. Movie?

  Definitely. Seven?

  “Won’t your parents be home tonight?” I asked. The Curtners were cool but I wasn’t sure how they’d feel about us having guys over.

  “They won’t care.” Kim let us in with her door code and we headed straight to her room. “When Mom sees Logan, she’ll really insist on buying you a new wardrobe.”

  I stopped mid step, halfway up the flight of stairs. Grabbing the banister for support, I said, “What are you talking about?”

  Kim must have realized what she’d said because she froze at the landing and took a deep breath before turning to look down at me. “You know how that woman loves to shop. She’s a freak and she’s basically adopted you.” She held her right hand down for me to approach her. “You just have to deal with it. She obsessed over me for my whole life. Now you get to share in some of the joy that is an ‘overachieving-professional-woman-who-overcompensates-for-not-raising-her-own-child-by-endlessly-shopping’ syndrome.”

  Huh?

  “If you say so.” I wasn’t going to be rude. I didn’t want charity but if she considered me one of her own, I could at least be gracious enough to accept her generosity.

  “I do.” Kim walked into her room, flung herself over the side of her bed, and stared at the ceiling. “Now, what are we going to wear tonight?”