Safer Outside (A Mature YA Romance) (The Outside Series)

by Kristina Belle

“Don’t worry, honey. I don’t care about district borders or anything like that. I’m just curious.” He smiled and patted my arm. “You have a friend that you stay with?”

  “Well, I lived here for most of my life.” I relaxed and tried to regain some confidence. The cat was out of the bag so I was just going to feed it and see what happened. “We moved before eighth grade so I went to school in San Jose for a few years. The school wasn’t that great so my mom worked it out that I could commute to Anderson.”

  Logan put his hand on my thigh and rubbed it gently. Just knowing he was so close and feeling him next to me was comforting. I put my left hand over Logan’s and decided to take control of the conversation. “So, what do you do, Will?”

  He’d just placed a bite of food in his mouth so he raised a hand to indicate that he needed a second. I took the opportunity to put a bite of salad in my mouth too. At least then I had an excuse not to talk for a minute.

  When he was done chewing, he wiped his mouth and took a drink of wine before he started talking again.

  “I have a few holding companies. We invest in startups and real estate. Most of the time it’s boring but I did have an interesting conversation with one of my managers today.” He looked to Logan. “You remember Irina? She’s running the storage facility on Foothill?”

  “Yeah, how could I forget her?” Logan turned to me. “She’s this cool Russian woman that manages the front office. She’s one of those crazy cat ladies. She has like twelve.” He laughed at a memory. “A few years ago, I stopped by to drop off some papers for my dad and I accidentally let one of her cats out. She swore at me up and down in Russian until I caught the damn thing. I thought she was gonna beat me with this feather on a stick thing. Anyway, it took hours of me coaxing Boris back in with tuna then banging around trash cans to get him to actually run in the door.”

  “She brings her cats to work?” I asked. I’d heard of people taking dogs to work but never cats.

  “She lives there. The managers each get an apartment onsite so they can keep an eye on the place.” He looked back to his dad. “How is she?”

  “She’s great. She’s getting married in a few months so she’s leaving at the end of the year.” He held in a laugh and said, “I think it’s her vet. She mentioned something about not having to keep getting new cats just to have a reason to see him.”

  “So she’s quitting?” Logan pulled a piece of bread off his roll and held it up to my mouth. “Open.”

  I pursed my lips and lifted a brow. He was high if he thought I’d let him feed me like that.

  He smirked and said, “Come on, love. It’s warm.”

  My jaw dropped when he used the endearment in front of his dad. He took advantage of my shock by popping the bread into my mouth. “Good, huh?”

  Will chuckled. “Wow, I never thought I’d see the day.”

  With my face beet red and my eyes shooting daggers at Logan, I chewed the bread then looked over to his dad.

  “Excuse me?” I tried to stay polite but I’m not sure I succeeded. I was mortified.

  “I’m just not used to seeing my son like this. You must be pretty special.” He shook his head and went back to his dinner.

  Logan leaned into my ear. “It’s true. You are.” Then he kissed my temple.

  My anger faded along with my embarrassment. He was sweet and not trying to make me feel uncomfortable so I let it go. The rest of the meal was filled with conversation about school, work, and funny Logan stories until Will remembered why he invited me over in the first place.

  “So, Liz, what do you think of my son’s recent art project?”

  “Oh, well, I uh...” I looked to Logan for help.

  “Be nice, Dad. She’s too young for an ulcer.” He put his arm around the back of my chair and pulled me closer to him. “He’s just messing with you.”

  I looked at Will and he had an amused smirk on his face. “Sorry, Liz. I was just wondering if his criminal antics were endearing or annoying to such a smart girl.”

  “Oh, well, I was definitely surprised.” I put my hand over Logan’s. “But it was very sweet. I love it.”

  “Great,” Will mumbled. I looked at him to make sure he wasn’t actually bothered by my comment. He wasn’t. “I just hope these grand gestures will stay limited to property that I own and not expand onto public buildings.” He drank the last of his wine.

  “You own that property?” I looked from Will back to Logan.

  Logan shrugged. “I’m not a thug.”

  I laughed and shoved his shoulder. “You could have told me that before. I’ve been waiting to get a call that you were arrested because you were caught on some security camera.”

  “Don’t you worry about me.” He leaned in and gave me a light kiss. “I made sure it was somewhere that it wouldn’t be bothered.”

  “So it’ll stay there forever?” I realized what I just implied. “Well, not forever, but for now.”

  Logan placed his hand on my chin and tilted my face until I was looking right at him. “Forever.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Before the Storm

  After the incident with the guns, Jesse got back on his meds and mellowed out substantially. The few nights I spent there over the following weeks were uneventful.

  I was able to avoid Jesse most of the time I was there and he mostly ignored me. I didn’t trust or understand his sudden change but I was happy about it. Even Mom seemed to be relaxed, laughing and playing more than I’d seen in years.

  She stayed close to home when I was there but there weren’t any major fights so I didn’t feel guilty leaving for five or six days at a time. Until things blew up again, I was taking advantage of the calm before the storm.

  I spent my days texting Logan during class and most evenings with him at Kim’s or at the mall while he worked.

  I had never experienced an obsession before then but I was definitely obsessed with Logan. When I wasn’t with him, I kept my phone close by so I wouldn’t miss a text. When I did get a text from him, my mouth instantly morphed into a stupid grin that was plastered there for hours. We never ran out of things to talk about and when we were together we had our hands on each other constantly. It wasn’t always sexual but it was certainly intimate.

  Our relationship was not what I expected from my first boyfriend. I didn’t have a lot of positive relationship role models so I assumed that once I did start dating, I would go through a lot of frogs before finding a prince. Logan quickly had me reconsidering that idea.

  Logan and I became closer as the semester progressed. He stayed away from my house like I asked, even though I suspected he tried to follow me home a few times. A little voice in my head kept telling me I needed to end the relationship, for his and my own safety, but just thinking about it made me sick.

  When we were at school, we spent every lunch period together, and any chance I had to sneak away, I would go out with him. We usually went on group dates to the movies or bowling, or we’d just sit in his car and talk about our day. Logan Cooper had a grip on my heart and I never wanted him to let go.

  It really seemed like we were perfect for each other. Just because I had a lot of baggage to deal with, didn’t mean he was completely unencumbered. He had a lot of drama attached to him too. Between his crazy ex girlfriend and his sometimes live-in stalker, it was easy to pretend we could make it work together. That maybe we could keep each other sane and safe if we let go of our fears. Well, he had pretty much already let go. The real work had to be on my side.

  As frightening as it was, the L word had been bouncing around in my head more and more often. And by more often, I mean every time I thought about or was with Logan. I finally understood what raging hormones meant because the thoughts that came into my mind when we were together were downright scandalous.

  I’d always thought I’d be a ‘wait as long as possible before losing my virginity’ kinda girl. I wanted to stack the deck in my favor to be the exact opposite of my mother. But, when L
ogan’s hands were on my body, I was hyperaware of every inch of skin they touched. Just a kiss had me breathing hard and when he added those strong fingers to the equation, I knew my v-card was close to expiring. I just had to keep my head together to make sure I was as safe and smart about it as possible.

  As winter approached, so did the first formal dance. Logan’s invitation was no less impressive than his DTR on my wall.

  On the third Wednesday in October, I was working on a conjugation exercise in French when the flat screen hanging at the front of the room flashed on. The closed-circuit network was used to run weekly announcements and for videos that the administration wanted the entire school to watch.

  Unless it was an emergency situation, we usually knew in advance if they would be used so Madame Lise practically jumped out of her skin when the TV turned on. We all looked up to see what was important enough to disrupt third period for 1500 students.

  The screen was pink and the song One and Only by Adele started playing. The camera pulled away and I quickly realized I was looking at the letter E from my wall. It was a very close up shot and only the inside coloring of the letter was shown but I’d stared at that wall long enough to recognize it. I took a quick look around the room and no one else knew what it was. Except Austin. He was looking between me and the pink and white screen. As soon as the camera slowly panned over the inside of the L and the I, Austin scooted his chair closer to mine.

  “Isn’t that—” He didn’t need to say anything else.

  I nodded and kept my eyes glued to the video.

  Even after all nine letters of my name were shown, most people still didn’t realize what they were. If you hadn’t seen my wall in person, the letters would have looked like an abstract painting of pink and white blobs with some black lines randomly thrown in.

  A few heads glanced my way but I ignored them. I was both thrilled and terrified at what was coming next. Based on the song choice, I knew it was something good but I immediately worried about Logan getting into trouble for whatever he was doing.

  Before I could wonder too long, the camera zoomed back in and the screen filled with pink. Then black letters appeared one by one until his message was complete.

  Will you go to the winter formal with me, love?

  I heard a collective “aww” in the room and couldn’t stop the fat tears from slipping down my cheeks. Austin put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed as I tried to wipe away any indication that I knew who the message was for. Or, more importantly, who it was from.

  “Damn,” Austin whispered. “He’s making the rest of us look bad.”

  Logan was waiting for me outside the classroom with a red rose. I jumped into his arms and kissed him hard.

  “I’ll take that as a yes,” he said against my mouth. I nodded and sprinkled kisses up his jaw.

  “If you aren’t expelled before then,” I whispered in his ear.

  “Don’t worry.” He set me down then took my bag from my shoulder. We started walking toward my study hall. “Someone owed me a favor so it’s fine.”

  “I don’t even want to know who or why, but I hope you’re right.” I took a whiff of my rose and sighed at how romantic Logan was. His tactics weren’t always traditional but they were exactly the right tools to dig through the walls around my heart.

  ~**~

  “What if he doesn’t ask me?” Kim and I were on her bed with her laptop, looking for potential dresses. Allie and Jen were on her floor, flipping through magazines.

  “He will. And if he doesn’t, it’s not like you don’t have tons of backups.” Kim had been asked by several guys but had them all on hold while she waited for Austin to make a decision. It was totally unlike her to be waiting on a man. She must have really had a thing for him.

  It had been a week since Logan’s invite and Austin hadn’t mentioned the dance to her at all. Despite my pleas for info, Logan wouldn’t tell me anything about where Austin’s head was.

  I pointed at a red maxi dress. “Do you think that’s too casual?”

  “Maybe.” She clicked on images of it from every angle. “It’s pretty so it can go on the list of possibilities...but I think we can do better.”

  “So...” Jen spoke up for the first time in awhile. “Randy asked me to go with him.”

  We all stopped what we were doing and looked to her. “What? When? Why is this the first we’re hearing about it?” Kim slid off the bed and landed gracefully next to Jen.

  “Today. After school.” She got a dreamy look that I’d never seen on her before. “He gave me this.”

  Jen pulled a wooden block from her backpack. It was carved like a snowflake and painted white with blue letters. The handwritten message across the center said, Wanna dance?

  We couldn’t help but be impressed by his sweet gesture. Randy was usually quiet so I had no idea he liked Jen. I was surprised Logan hadn’t mentioned anything to me. I guess he kept his friends’ secrets to himself.

  “You said yes, right?” I asked her.

  “Yes.” She blushed and buried her head in the magazine in her lap.

  “Oh my god! I can’t believe this. I’m gonna be the only one at home that night.” Kim sprawled backward on the floor and covered her face with her arm.

  “Not the only one. I’ll probably end up going with my brother.” Allie grabbed the magazine out of Jen’s hand. “But that’s doesn’t matter. What matters is that Randy likes you.”

  “Well, I don’t know about all that.” Jen tried to keep the goofy grin off her face but it broke through. “But he is really cute.”

  “He’s a doll. And that whole strong and silent thing he’s got going is kinda hot.” And that quick, Kim was over her pity party.

  “We should all go together,” I suggested. Logan was renting a limo and had a room booked at the hotel the dance was at but a group dinner would be fun. I was getting more excited by the minute.

  “Really?” Jen was beaming. “You don’t think the guys will mind?”

  “I don’t know. Did he mention a limo or anything?”

  “No.” She laughed. “He actually didn’t say much. I said okay and then he said cool and walked away.”

  Randy was a dork that way. He was lucky he was so cute because he had zero game.

  “What am I gonna do?” Allie wasn’t usually a whiner but she was clearly sad.

  “Is there anyone you want to go with?” I’d been so caught up in Logan that I hadn’t been keeping track of her love life. I’m embarrassed to admit that I just assumed she didn’t have one.

  “Well, there is one person.” She picked at the plush carpet we were all sitting on. When she didn’t elaborate, Kim nudged her knee with her foot.

  “Who?” No one ever accused Kim of being patient.

  “Bryant. He’s new. He’s in a few classes with me and I’ve seen him hanging out with Adam. I want to ask Adam about him but he’s avoiding my calls.”

  I glanced at Kim. She lifted an eyebrow then turned back to Allie. “Whatever happened with you and Adam anyway?”

  “I don’t really know. He moved out completely at the beginning of summer and I’ve barely seen him since.” Her eyes welled up with tears. “When I see him at school, he turns and walks the other way. I don’t know what I did.”

  I leaned forward and grabbed both of her hands. “I know he misses you. I think he’s just going through some stuff. I’ll try to ask him about Bryant.”

  I didn’t know if Bryant was gay or just Adam’s friend but I couldn’t wait to talk to him about it.

  ~**~

  Austin came through the next morning. When Kim and I arrived at her locker door, it was covered in pink roses. She squealed and pulled the card out from the center of the bouquet.

  The card was the invitation to the winter formal that she’d been waiting for. When she turned around to show me, Austin was beside her. She smacked his chest and said, “It’s about damn time.”

  “Some things are worth waiting for.” He lifted her an
d pressed her up against the locker next to hers. That was my cue to leave.

  Logan appeared beside me and walked me to my first class.

  “So, since Kim and Jen are both going with your friends, can we all go together?” Even though it was already decided by the girls, I wanted to make sure Logan was okay with the new plan.

  “Are you afraid to be alone with me in a limo?” He wrapped his arm around my waist and let his fingers sneak under the hem of my sweater. His touch tickled my side and I curled closer into him.

  Laughing, I swatted his hand away. “No. I just thought it’d be fun for us to go as a group. Besides, between Randy and Jen, they won’t say two words to each other if we aren’t there to help them along.”

  Logan nuzzled into my neck then nipped my ear lobe, causing a shiver to travel down my spine. “Fine with me. As long as I get you alone at the end of the night.”

  I swayed as his hot breath caressed the side of my face. I couldn’t respond. I murmured something unintelligible and let him lead me the rest of the way to class.

  By the time second period rolled around, I was anxious to see Adam. I couldn’t wait to get the scoop on his new friend. Not only to satisfy my own curiosity but to get some intel for Allie.

  Adam looked half asleep at his desk when I entered the room. “Good morning,” I practically skipped to my seat and settled in next to him.

  “Mornin’.” Adam straightened up from his slouched position. “You’re in a good mood.”

  “Yup. Wanna know why?”

  “Of course.” He twisted so he was facing me.

  “I heard you have a hot new friend.” I finally faced him as I waited for him to explain.

  The corners of his lips twitched as he tried to hold back a smile. “Trouble in paradise already? You looking to trade up?”

  “Ha ha.” I smirked and rolled my eyes. “I want deets. Is he just a friend? More? Straight?” I whispered the last word so no one would overhear.

  “Just a friend, for the most part.” Adam finally gave me his toothy smile. “But Bryant’s even more worried about keeping it quiet than I am so you have to swear you won’t tell anyone.” He was more serious than I’d ever seen him.