"It's dead," Duncan said, pausing in his task. He straightened and pulled out his flask once again. "Maybe this was meant to be."
"What was meant to be?"
"That it would end like this."
"Hey, nothing is going to end tonight. That's for damn sure."
Duncan smiled with defeat. "You and Jeremy, so much alike -- strong, energetic, determined, convinced you can overcome. I used to be like that."
"You still are like that, Duncan. You're going to race on Saturday, remember? You're winning back the Moon Dancer. Come on, man, don't give up on me."
"I won't be able to race. Rick won't let me sail without the girls. And they won't come with me."
"I'll help you change their minds." Tyler knew that he had to get Duncan out of this depression so they could fight the storm.
"It's over. I have to accept it. The girls have finally given up on me. It was only a matter of time. And this is the time."
"It's not the time. It's not the time at all. Kate will never give up on you. And Caroline is crazy about you. I don't know as much about Ashley, but I do know this: you're their father. You mean something to them."
"Ashley is a sweet girl, so quiet, so sensitive. I never know what is going on in her head. She's a mystery, has been from the day she was born." Duncan took another drink. "The only thing I know for sure is that she doesn't like me much. Sometimes I think she hates me."
Tyler stared at Duncan, realizing the old man had just given him a big clue. "Why would Ashley hate you?" He wondered if he'd finally hear the words -- because I gave up her baby.
"They all hate me for taking them to sea, making them race, not letting them go home when they wanted to go," Duncan said instead. "They didn't know how much was at stake. I couldn't just quit. I'd bet everything, the life insurance money, the mutual funds set up for the girls, Nora's jewelry, her wedding ring. It would all be gone if we didn't win that race. I'd made side bets they didn't know about, and I'd used some of the money to help ensure our victory. It wasn't really cheating, even though Jeremy wanted to blow the whistle on me. He just didn't understand how things were done."
"Jeremy wanted to turn you in?" Tyler asked, trying to make sense of what he was hearing.
Duncan didn't answer him. His eyes were glazed, his face and clothes soaked from the steady rain pouring down on them. Tyler wondered if he even realized where they were.
"I thought he loved Kate," Duncan said. "But he loved the truth even more. Or maybe he just wanted to prove that he was better than me. I should have kicked him off the Moon Dancer when I had the chance."
"How did Jeremy get on the boat?" Tyler asked, still not sure he was following what Duncan was saying. The old man was rambling in a dozen directions at the same time, and it was hard to keep up.
"Kate snuck him aboard," Duncan said, "at the last minute, as we were leaving for Hawaii. She was clever about it. No one knew. We were underway before I realized he was there. I would have lost time kicking him off."
"So you let him stay. And then there was an argument. You fought with him about something to do with cheating."
"I just shoved him away. He was in my face. I didn't mean for him to fall. I didn't know he hit his head. I never saw that." Duncan's voice filled with anguish. "It was an accident, I swear it. I heard Kate scream, and when I turned around she was in the water. My daughter had jumped into that angry sea. My precious girl. I had to save her." His eyes begged Tyler to understand. "You understand, don't you? A man has to save his child."
"What about Jeremy?"
"He disappeared. He was there, and then he was gone. The storm was huge, far worse than this. No one could survive more than a minute or two. I didn't let him die."
"But they thought you did." Suddenly it was all so clear. "That's it, isn't it? The girls think you killed Jeremy. That's the big secret." Tyler suddenly realized why Kate had been stonewalling him all this time. It had nothing to do with a baby and everything to do with Jeremy's death.
Or maybe Jeremy had had something to do with the baby? Had he come on board to help take care of Kate because she was nearing the end of her pregnancy? Hadn't Duncan said that Kate wanted Jeremy with her? What other reason could there have been? They were in the middle of a race. And they would have been together forever only a few weeks later when it was all over.
"Why would Kate jeopardize everything by taking Jeremy onboard on the second-to-last leg? Wasn't that against the rules?" he asked. "Wouldn't you have been disqualified as soon as you got to the next port?"
Duncan shook his head. "You could have a crew of up to six. It didn't matter who they were." Duncan paused, looking at Tyler. "I didn't kill Jeremy. I just couldn't save him."
"But he was going to blow the whistle on you. That's a good motive for letting him drown." Tyler knew it was stupid to speak so frankly at this moment. Lord knew he wasn't in a position to piss Duncan off, but he couldn't stop the words from coming.
"I couldn't find him. I tried. He must have been unconscious. Otherwise he would have been swimming."
"Why was his name listed on the other boat's manifest?" Tyler asked. "Why didn't anyone know he was with you?"
"The only people that knew were on the Betsy Marie. And I'm not even sure they knew Jeremy was with us. They might have thought he'd bailed at the last port. When the Betsy Marie went down, everyone but K.C. went down with it."
"And K.C. didn't remember." It all made sense now in a terrible way. Kate's boyfriend had died off their boat, and no one had said a word. The girls had circled the wagons around their father. Loyal to the end, they'd protected him.
"I'm sorry," Duncan said, the alcohol slurring his words. "If we don't make it, I'm sorry. Tell the girls I loved them."
"No good-bye speeches. We're both going to make it. Tell me what to do, Duncan."
Duncan's eyes began to drift shut. His hand let go of the tiller, and the boat went into a spin. The boom came flying across. Tyler tried to get out of the way, but it caught him on his back and sent him sprawling onto the floor of the boat. Dazed, his only real thought was that he was going to drown, and he didn't even like to sail.
* * *
Kate and her sisters stood in the weather-protected cockpit next to Sean, watching as he steered the motorboat through the rough swells. They could see a search plane off to the right, its lights blazing across the water. There were Mayday calls on the radio, but none from her father's boat. She told herself it would be all right. Just because his radio was out didn't mean they were in severe trouble. She had to keep the faith. She couldn't let the fear overtake her, but it was there in every breath she took. This was too much like the last time. Maybe not the size of the storm, but certainly the stakes.
"Where to?" Sean asked briskly.
"Captain's Cove. He loved that spot. He might have tried to get a break from the wind over there," she said.
"No, he'd sail straight into the wind," Caroline countered. "The way he did before. Remember? He wouldn't listen to us. He was convinced that the only way out was straight ahead."
Sean looked from one to the other, then over at Ashley, who was huddled in the small space with them, her face white, her eyes huge, her grip on a nearby rail as tight as she could get it. "You okay, Ash?" he asked her.
"No." She shook her head.
"It's going to be fine. I won't let anything happen to you."
Kate felt her breath catch in her throat. Sean looked so much like Jeremy right now, confident, strong, sure of himself. He had no idea . .
"Captain's Cove or straight ahead?" Jeremy asked Kate.
"Straight ahead. Caroline always understood the way Dad thought better than I did."
"Jeremy didn't want Dad to sail into the wind," Ashley murmured. "He thought we should go east, don't you remember? But Dad said we'd lose even more time, and it was just a summer storm. It wouldn't get that bad."
Kate stiffened. If she was closer, she would have given Ashley a good swift kick, but she could
n't reach her.
"What are you talking about, Ash?" Sean asked.
"She's confused," Caroline said quickly. "Look at her, she's terrified."
"They were arguing so loudly," Ashley continued as if neither Sean nor Caroline had spoken. She looked at Kate. "I'm sorry."
"Was Jeremy talking to your dad over the radio? I thought there wasn't any contact during the storm," Sean said, also turning his gaze to Kate.
She didn't know what to say, how to answer. Ashley was at the breaking point. The current storm was bringing it all back into her head. Anyone could see that.
"Jeremy was on our boat," Ashley burst out. "I'm sorry, Kate. I can't keep it in anymore. I'm so tired of lying."
"What did you just say?" Sean demanded, looking from Ashley to Kate. "Jeremy was on the Betsy Marie. He went down with that boat. That's the truth."
Kate took in a deep breath, knowing it was over. If she didn't tell him, Ashley would. "I brought Jeremy on board the Moon Dancer just before that leg of the race. I wanted him to sail with us, Sean." Her stomach twisted into a knot as she thought back to those awful days. "I needed him with me. No one knew, not even my father, until it was too late to turn back."
The boat bounced and Sean stiffened, taking a minute to get the boat back under control before gazing back at her. "I don't understand. If Jeremy was on your boat, then what happened to him? You all survived. Why didn't he make it, too?"
"So many things happened all at once," Kate murmured. "I'm not even sure I know the sequence of events."
"It started with me," Ashley said. "I was down in the main cabin, and I was crying. I wasn't feeling well, and I was scared. The storm was just starting then. It wasn't that bad yet. Jeremy told me it would be all right. Just like you did a minute ago, Sean." She paused. "That's when he put his arm around me, and I kissed him. I wanted to distract myself from the storm. I wanted to forget where I was. Then Kate walked in." Ashley looked at her sister. "You had the most awful look in your eyes when you saw us, like I'd just stabbed you in the heart."
"I couldn't believe it," Kate said painfully. "I misunderstood the situation. I went a little berserk, and I said things I shouldn't have." Her eyes watered as guilt swamped her. She'd never had a chance to tell Jeremy she was sorry.
"But he knew you didn't mean it, Kate. And he knew Ashley was just scared," Caroline interrupted. "Because I talked to Jeremy right after that. He understood that tensions were running high. We were all on edge. We had been for months, but when Jeremy came onboard, it tipped the scales. Dad was furious. That's why he started drinking. He'd been so good the rest of the time. But, that night, it all came to a head."
"Yes, it did." Kate wished the memories weren't flooding back, but they were, and she couldn't stop them. "Dad and Jeremy were fighting about something. I don't even know what really. I was too mad at Jeremy to talk to him about it, and then I was too busy trying to keep the boat afloat to worry about it."
"Jeremy accused Dad of cheating," Caroline said. "I was down in our cabin, and I heard them talking. Jeremy said Dad had been cheating all along, bribing some of the crew members of the Betsy Marie to slow K.C. down, stuff like that. Then Dad accused Jeremy of coming on board for K.C. and not for Kate." Caroline stopped, an odd look in her eyes. "I just remembered that. He thought Jeremy was K.C.'s spy."
"You never said that before," Kate said.
"I didn't remember until now."
"Get back to how my brother ended up in the ocean," Sean said harshly, drawing all three women' eyes back to him.
"It was later that day," Ashley said. "Kate was at the wheel. Caroline and I were down in the cabin. I don't know which one of us was crying more." She exchanged a poignant look with Caroline. "Jeremy came down to check on us. I guess that's when he took off his safety harness."
"And when he came back up, Dad started shouting at him," Kate continued. "I told them both to stop fighting and come help me with the sails. They started toward me, and then they collided." Kate saw the scene unfolding in front of her eyes. Jeremy rushing toward her, then Duncan getting in his way, the shove, hands, fists, arms, legs flying, Jeremy landing on his back with a crack. She had turned in horror, and as she'd done so, the boat was hit by a huge wave, and suddenly Jeremy was sliding away, right over the side of the boat and into that awful, monstrous sea. "Jeremy fell. And then he was gone, over the side," she muttered.
"Oh, my God!" Sean said, horror in his eyes.
"I remember unhooking my safety harness. I ran to the side, and I saw him in the water," Kate continued.
"And then you jumped in after him," Ashley said. "I couldn't believe it. Dad and I went running for the lines so we could rescue you both."
"I had Jeremy's hand in mine " Kate looked at the brother of the man she had loved so fiercely. "I tried to save him, Sean. I swear I did." Her voice broke. "But I couldn't hold on. His hand was too slippery, and he wasn't conscious. His eyes were closed. I screamed at him to look at me, to talk to me, but he wouldn't. And then he was gone." Kate saw the awful pain in Sean's eyes, but it was nothing to the pain she'd felt when Jeremy had disappeared. A tear ran down her face as she took in a breath and let it out. "The next time I came up, I saw the Moon Dancer in front of me, and I managed to get to the life preserver Dad had thrown out to me. He and Ashley pulled me onboard."
"We looked for Jeremy, but we couldn't find him," Ashley said. She put a tentative hand on Sean's arm, but he threw it off in anger, glaring at each of them.
"How hard did you look?"
Kate flinched. "We looked, Sean. Don't you think I would have saved Jeremy if I could have? I loved him. He was everything to me."
"But your father hated him. Maybe he made a choice that night. Maybe it was easier to let Jeremy's accusations drown."
"That's not true," Caroline said. "Dad wouldn't have done that. He might be a drunk, but he's not cruel."
"Why didn't you say something?" Sean asked in bewilderment. "All these years, you let me and my parents believe that Jeremy went down with the Betsy Marie. How could you do that?" Sean stared at them as if he'd never seen them before. And he hadn't. He was seeing them for the first time the way they really were. Kate felt naked and ugly and totally ashamed.
"We didn't set out to lie," she said. "But when we got back to shore, everyone was talking about the guys who went down on the Betsy Marie. They were comforting me, knowing that I was involved with Jeremy. Dad asked us not to correct them. When it became clear that no one knew Jeremy had been with us, it was too late to come clean."
"Because you were afraid that your father might have been held accountable," Sean said roughly. "He killed my brother. He shoved him, knocked him out, and then didn't try to rescue him."
"That's not what we just said," Kate said.
"Isn't it? That's what I heard. And then the three of you covered it up."
"Because Jeremy was dead, and nothing we said would change that," Caroline explained.
But her explanation didn't satisfy Sean. Kate could see it in his eyes, eyes that were so much like Jeremy's. Only Jeremy's eyes had never condemned her, never wished her to hell as Sean's eyes were doing now. She couldn't blame him for the hate. It was the same hate she'd felt for herself every day for the last eight years.
"I loved Jeremy," she said. "If I could have died in his place, I would have."
"But your father saved you, so you saved him in return." Sean shook his head. "What the hell am I doing out here with the three of you? How could you even ask me to do this?"
Summer Secrets Page 35
