"You do trust him, I hope?" he asked Lily pointedly, "I hope you aren't taking this risk with a stranger whose motivations you don't know?"
"I can't see why he would put himself in this much danger if he meant me any harm." Lily said, frowning.
"There's an important difference between not meaning you harm and caring about you." Keeler said, his leaves angling downwards seriously, "He may not actively want to hurt you. But that doesn't mean he'll choose to protect you if you come between him and whatever he's actually here for."
Lily went off behind the cottage to change in privacy, full of worries. Why was Amranth doing this? Was it really just because he couldn't bear what Turlabon had been about to do? If Amranth had been the king's Sword, he must have done much worse things in his name before...
She couldn't come to a conclusion in the time it took her to dress herself and she returned still worrying. Amranth and Keeler were kneeling by a wide flat rock in the kitchen fussing with a bowl of something and Amranth smiled when he saw Lily.
"You look good," he said, "It suits you."
"Thank you," she smiled back, tugging self-consciously at the petaled skirts, "Working on food?"
"Nothing you'll be able to eat, I'm afraid," the elder answered, "But I do have some old rations to supplement the ones Amranth has on his ship. You won't have to go hungry."
"That's a relief." Lily said, wondering if it was acceptable to sit down on the moss or if she was just supposed to stay standing, "I'm already starving."
"We should get back soon," Amranth said, setting the bowl back on the stone table, "I want to get some more work done on the ship before nightfall."
"Is it safe?" Lily asked with a frown, "Elder Keeler might run down the mountain and fetch the cavalry."
Keeler snickered and Amranth gave her a sour look that couldn't hide the amusement in his eyes.
"I'm reasonably satisfied that he isn't planning anything," Amranth said, standing, "Unless you have doubts?"
"I think we'll be fine." she said with a laugh, "Besides, I want that ship fixed as quickly as you do."
"In that case, we should get going," he said, "Thank you for your help, Elder Keeler. I'm certain we'll see you again before we leave."
"Please do," Keeler showed them to the door, handing Amranth a little bundle of food, "I get so little company out here."
Chapter Eight
As they began the walk back to the ship, Lily took her time, watching the little reptilian birds flit from branch to branch overhead. Whenever they encountered wildflowers, she would stop to identify their unique voice, still delighted by the sound and by the prospect of what evolutionary purpose the singing might serve.
Was it a way of attracting pollinators or scaring off predators? Maybe it served no purpose but was just a byproduct of some other process? She wanted badly to study it. She also thought she might understand now where some of the cultural importance of singing among Sahrians had come from.
She'd laughed when Turlabon had included 'baritone' among the data on his proposal, but after reading the cultural documents it had become clear that their society valued song very much. Wouldn't it be fantastic if they learned it from nature itself? She supposed they would never know.
If she couldn't find information about their history even in the databases of other planets, it was likely there wasn't much to find. To have lost their entire history like that, everything they'd even been replaced, Lily could hardly imagine it.
Her attention wandered to Amranth as they walked, watching his back, his broad shoulders, and she wondered about what Keeler had said. Was Amranth trustworthy?
"What will you do when the ship is fixed?" she couldn't stop herself from asking, "I have to get back to Earth, but what will you do?"
He hesitated for a moment before answering.
"I don't know," he said at last, "I can't stay on this planet now that I've betrayed Turlabon and stolen his bride. He will hunt me down. I can't even stay in this system."
"Are you any good with plants?" Lily asked, "We don't have any exoterres in our village, but I think you'd fit in well, if you wanted to stay there."
He looked back at her to smile, but shook his head.
"I appreciate the offer," he said, "But Earth is far too close. Turlabon would find me easily. I will have to go further than that."
Lily nodded, supposing that made sense.
"Will you sign up for the marriage bureau again?" He asked as they continued walking.
"I don't think so." She replied, the thought weighing on her like a weight on her shoulders, "I thought I was brave enough but... I couldn't go through with it. And I doubt with this mark on my record that I'll find a contract that pays this well again. I'll go back to the labs where I should have stayed and leave saving the village to someone with more backbone I guess."
"You're braver than most people I've ever met," Amranth said with a frown, pausing to let her catch up so he could walk beside her, "You came here alone for no reason than to help you home. You were ready to go through with it, even when you found out how he treats his wives. Even now, you're still fighting. Please don't underestimate your strength, because I am in awe of it."
Lily touched, felt heat rise to her face and had to look away. He smiled and surprised her, reaching out to touch her cheek.
"I love how you do that," he said with earnest wonder, "I never knew humans could change color before I met you. It's beautiful."
"It's just a blush," she said, embarrassment growing, "It isn't really that exciting."
"I've never seen anything like it." Amranth reminded her, "Singing flowers aren't that exciting to me. Perspective is important."
Lily shook her head, shying away from his touch, but she was smiling, flattered by his appreciation.
They continued to talk as they made their way down the mountain back towards the ship, mostly discussing cultural differences and oddities between their two species. Amranth, though at first a bit stoic, was surprisingly easy to talk to. She quickly discovered there were some subjects he would skillfully sidestep however. Mostly those that had to do with his personal history.
He wouldn't tell her anything about his life and it made her uneasy. Though it was easy to distract herself with conversation about the many different Sahrian singing rituals, eventually she'd slip up again and let the conversation drift towards something more personal, and an uncomfortable silence would creep in.
They reached the ship again without incident and Amranth got to work repairing it. Lily made a quick meal of some of the rations. They tasted awful and had the texture of stryofoam, but they filled her up and she didn't have a violent allergic reaction, so she figured they would do until she could get home.
Once her stomach had stopped growling she helped Amranth with the repairs. Being a botanist she didn't know much about Sahrian ship repair, but she was a quick and diligent and Amranth was patient and good at delegating.
It had already been late when they returned from Elder Keeler's, and so it wasn't long before the sun began to vanish behind the heavy canopy of the trees. Glow bugs rose from the grass and twinkled in the twilight as they bobbed over softly chiming flowers. Lily lifted her hands to catch them, mystified by these motes of living light, which she'd never seen on the frozen Earth.
"There must be water nearby," Amranth commented, coming to stand beside her, "Glow bugs tend to stay near it."
"I thought I heard running water earlier," Lily agreed, "Maybe we can look for it tomorrow."
"Perhaps," Amranth agreed, "But for now, it's getting dark too quickly. We should stay close to the ship."
Together, they retreated to the safety of their little camp and shut themselves into the ship for the night. Amranth opened a panel in the wall of the ship, revealing a comfortable if somewhat narrow bunk.
"You can sleep here," he said, "I'll take the chair."
"Don't be ridiculous," Lily refused, "This is your ship. You're doing enough for me already. You sh
ould at least be able to sleep in your own bed."
He smiled, shaking his head.
"I appreciate the offer," he said, "But I insist. Floraforms need very little rest anyway. We don't strictly need sleep at all until we begin to enter dormancy in our old age. It's good for us, but not necessary, not like it is for mammals. So please, sleep well."
Lily reluctantly agreed, but even after the exhausting day she'd had, she found it difficult to fall asleep. She lay in Amranth's bunk, watching the narrow band of his profile, which she could see from here as he sat in the pilot's chair, going over data on the repairs that still needed to be done.
"Amranth?"
She saw him turn, surprised she was still awake.
"Yes?"
"You said Turlabon saved you," she said, deciding to be direct, "What happened?"
He went still and silent for a long moment.
"I don't think you really want to know this story," he said quietly, "I don't think I want you to know it."
"Why?"
He turned further in his seat to look at her, staring solemnly from his bunk.
"I don't want you to think less of me," he said, and Lily could tell he meant it.
"Is it that bad?" she asked, frowning.
"Worse."
He turned back to face the console, leaving her in silence for a long moment.
"Doesn't that make it more important for me to know?" she asked, "I'm trusting you with my life. I want to know what kind of person you are."
He ran his hands over the console in silence, thinking. Finally, he answered.
"Turlabon found me during the chaos after the death of the king. I was born after the caste system was enacted, but things wouldn't have been much better for me even if I hadn't been. I'm a crossbreed. That happens when a weed and a flower break the taboos and attempt to reproduce.
I'm not sure what happened to my parents, but it isn't hard to guess. The weed would have been arrested or lynched. The flower driven out of polite society, a pariah. They might have died as well. Or maybe they just abandoned me to make it easier for themselves to start again. Either way, my first memories are of living in the streets.
There was a state run facility that fed me, but it went under when the chaos began. I was starving to death, watching the other homeless flora go dormant one by one, many of them never to wake again.
I was an uneducated animal, fighting other children in the streets for food, desperate to survive. I killed someone. Not on purpose. I just didn't care. All that mattered was that they were in-between me and what I needed to go on living another day.
Turlabon saw as he was touring the chaos in a flying auto carriage. I used to think he took pity on me. Then, I realized he just admired my ruthlessness. He tempted me into the carriage with food and... Things were very hard for a long time."
He trailed off for a moment and Lily stayed silent, letting him take his time, though inside she was shivering at the idea of him living such a life.
"He trained me," Amranth went on, "How to hunt and kill. How not to be heard or seen until you want to be. How to not feel. I idolized him. He was a divine being to me, as terrifying as he was holy, descended from the heavens to save something as worthless as a weed like me.
His wrath when I disappointed him was terrible. But if I did well, there was food and finery and the ghost of affection. He put a weapon in my hands and I would have died to serve him. But he didn't want me to die. He wanted me to kill. So I killed."
He paused to look at her, his eyes at once angry, daring her to doubt or judge him, and wary, afraid that she would. Instead, she stayed silent, listening. A look of aggravation wrenched his features.
"I burned cities," he shouted, demanding her anger, her justified outrage, "I killed whoever I was told to without asking who they were or what they had done. I did it for decades before I even began to question what I was doing.
I became a monster to terrify his subjects as much as his enemies because he told me- because I told myself that the ends always justified the means. He was trying to create a better world and he was relying on me to remove the obstacles from his path. Except the world never actually got better, did it? It just got quieter.
I scared people into submission while nothing changed and people went on suffering. One day, he sent me out into the city to remove another nameless, faceless obstacle, and I saw children fighting for food in the streets and the homeless going dormant in alleyways as though anarchy still reigned. But what could I do?
I thought I had already caused so much harm that stopping would fix nothing. I carried on though I knew what I was doing was wrong, in denial, or in some hope the ends really would justify the means. They don't. If anything they exemplify it. Turlabon chose to solve his problems with violence and suffering, made me the instrument of that suffering, and suffering is all that resulted from it."
"So why did you save me?" Lily asked, her voice soft with muted horror, "After all that, why me?"
He didn't answer for a moment.
"Maybe it was just one thing amongst too many," he said, "Or maybe it was because I'd never seen him dirty his own hands before. Maybe it was because I'd spoken to you, knew your name, unlike all the other lives I took. All I know is that I couldn't let it happen. I couldn't leave knowing what he would do to you.
If I had walked through that door, it would have been as a different person, a person who could never question what he asked me to do again. I would either have to harden myself completely, become what he always wanted from me, or fall apart, root myself in the garden and submit to dormancy.
Then, I realized there was another option. I could stop being his passive sword. I could make a choice, for the first time in my life, not based on survival or on mutely executing his orders, but on what I knew was right. It wasn't about you, though maybe it should have been. Maybe it would have been nobler if I just wanted to save your life. But the truth is that I was saving myself."
He fell silent, staring into his lap, unable to look at her, afraid of her judgement. He heard the sound of her bare footsteps on the floor as she left the bunk to cross the room towards him. He looked up as he felt her hand on his shoulder.
"You can't change what you've done," she said, her expression solemn as she squeezed his shoulder, "You'll have to make peace with that. But you can still try to make things better. You're already trying to be a better person. That has to count for something. At least it does to me."
He looked away again, closing his eyes, but he reached up to place his hand over hers, and she slowly laced their fingers, offering him the support he'd given her earlier. She'd turned her back on something that could have saved her village, maybe her entire planet. He'd betrayed the man who'd saved his life, raised him like a son. And Lily was certain they had both made the right decision.
They talked a while longer, about Amranth's life, the things he'd done. Lily did her best to understand, though some of it was too terrible to think about. His regret for his days as the Sword of Turlabon was clear.
He wanted to make things better, and Lily knew he couldn't do that alone. She just hoped that, once she returned to Earth, he found a way to keep going. He was a good person, she thought, in spite of everything. She wouldn't have regretted marrying him.
Chapter Nine
Eventually, she returned to her bunk and slept while Amranth kept watch. Her dreams were troubled by thoughts of what he'd done, and she woke feeling still groggy, her thoughts clouded. She shook it off and shared a peaceful breakfast with Amranth before they got to work, continuing repairs on the ship. Lily helped when she could and found other things to do when she couldn't.
There was something pleasantly domestic about it, talking idly while he tinkered with something and she built up a fire to cook on. She wondered if it would have been like this if she had been contracted to marry him instead of Turlabon.
Talking in the kitchen while he washed dishes and she chopped vegetables. Or would she have just
been sitting in the Garden with the other brides while he was out on some terrible errand of the king's? Maybe this was the closest they could come to being together. It surprised Lily how much that thought bothered her.
Around noon, Elder Keeler visited bearing gifts. Some preserved fruit he said he had too much of and the local equivalent of honeycomb which he claimed he didn't care for. They had lunch with the old man, laughing over some joke of his while honey dripped down Lily's chin. Before he left, Keeler took Lily aside.
"Something has changed," he said, "Have you decided to trust him after all?"
She thought about it for a moment before nodding.
"I have," she said, "I know who he is and what he's done. But he wants to be better. And I believe him. I want to help him."
Keeler nodded in understanding, patting her on the shoulder.
"If you say he can change, then I believe you,” the elder said, “If even the Sword of Turlabon can change, then truly there’s hope for all of us, isn’t there?”
Lily’s eyes widened as she realized Keeler knew who Amranth was, but the old man only winked and went on his way.
Lily found herself watching Amranth more closely as the day wore on, watching the muscles of his back shift as he bent over his work. He really was the most beautiful alien she’d ever seen. Perhaps, the most beautiful person, period.
She wondered how anyone on Sahria could consider him a weed, or anything less than the incredible person he was. She'd never met anyone so capable. Strong and clever, kind underneath his closed off exterior. Wounded, but striving to do better, to be better.
She wondered how much longer it would take to fix the ship, and found herself almost hoping it took a few more days. She wanted to share this beautiful place with him a little longer before returning to the icy wasteland of Earth and the disappointment of the family she had failed.
She realized he had caught her staring and quickly averted her eyes. Looking for something to do, she stood and hurried off, thinking maybe she would look for the source of water they'd heard the other day. The afternoon was waning towards evening, the light just beginning to fade into hazy violet twilight.
Alien Romance: ESCAPE: Bride Of The Beast: Scifi Alien Abduction Romance (Alien Romance, Alien Invasion Romance, BBW) (Celestial Mates Book 5) Page 6
