‘I guess an old building will need a lot of work.’
‘Stacks.’ Luke’s eyes shone as he said this.
He was living his dream, she realised – hammering and sawing to his heart’s content.
‘So . . . you’re really enjoying it there?’
‘Like you wouldn’t believe.’
But even as Luke said this, the light in his eyes died and he looked away, crushed his paper cup and tossed it into a rubbish bin. Bella didn’t miss the way all trace of his smile disappeared.
‘It seemed like a fabulous opportunity when I signed the contract. I never dreamed . . . ’ He shook his head. ‘There’s so much to be done at Mullinjim.’
An anxious band tightened around Bella’s chest. She knew Luke was right. There would be masses of work waiting at Mullinjim. It was November, the end of the dry season, unless the rains came early. Calving time too. A particularly busy time on a North Queensland cattle property.
‘I guess . . . if you broke the contract . . . the builder would have to find someone else?’
‘Yeah, but he has a contract with the government and there’s a fixed time frame, a fixed pay scale and everything. And these days, most tradies are heading for the mines, so he might take a while to find someone.’
‘So what’s the alternative? I suppose you’ll put a manager in at Mullinjim.’
‘Yeah.’ Luke pulled a face. ‘But it won’t feel right somehow.’
Bella wished she could think more clearly, but her head was spinning. Once upon a time, she might have jumped at this opportunity to show her family that she could run a cattle station. But she’d eventually accepted there was no role for her there, and she’d spent the past two years letting go of her past and striking out on undiscovered roads.
In Europe she’d encountered a new sense of freedom and fun. A totally different kind of adventure. She’d tried all kinds of jobs – as a barmaid in Kent, WWOOFing in Portugal and most recently at the ski resort.
Overseas, she’d felt braver and bolder, and she’d mixed with so many fascinating young people – jaw-droppingly attractive and stylish Brazilians, crazily funny, super-savvy Scandinavians, Anton and his friends, as athletic and brave in the Alps as any bull-chasing Aussie cattlemen.
She’d wandered through ancient ruins and art galleries where she’d been overawed by history and stunned by human talent. She’d sat in glittering concert halls, listening to her aunt play so beautifully that she’d wept and felt jubilant in the same breath. And she’d witnessed the massive audiences, equally rapt.
Now, she carried all these wonderful new experiences inside her, certain that they’d subtly changed her. She was light years away from the country kid who’d been crazy about horses and the bush.
‘By the way,’ Luke said, breaking into her thoughts. ‘Gabe says hi.’
Zap.
The mere mention of Gabe’s name was like running smack bang into an electric fence. Bella couldn’t think of Gabe Mitchell without feeling pain and shame. She could still see his angry sneer.
Go off and have your bloody adventures. And while you’re at it, try to grow up.
Luke was looking at her strangely. ‘I never really got what happened between you and Gabe.’
That makes two of us. Bella folded her arms tightly over her chest. ‘Can we change the subject now?’
‘Are you okay, Bella? You look pale.’
‘I think jetlag’s catching up with me.’
Thank heavens she had something to blame.
At the motel her mother was in her room, making lists of everything she still had to do – bills to be paid, phone calls, appointments. Virginia Fairburn had always been a list-maker, especially when she was stressed. Bella suspected it gave her a reassuring sense of control.
This afternoon she looked tired, despite her afternoon nap. Bella thought she’d aged, too, with more grey in her hair, more lines on her face and a disturbing new stoop about her shoulders.
‘So how was Peter when you saw him?’ her mother asked.
Bella hesitated. ‘Not too bad, I guess. More talkative than I expected.’
‘Oh?’
Bella hadn’t meant to say anything, but the conversations with her father and brother were weighing on her heavily. ‘He’s very worried about Mullinjim and that can’t be good for him.’
Her mother sighed heavily. ‘I know. We have to get it sorted fast. I really don’t want to drag Luke away from his new job. I’ve rung Jim McMahon, but he’s busy so I’ll have to try––’
‘Mum, I could do it.’
The words burst from Bella before she’d really thought the idea through. And now they seemed to tremble in the air. She felt her knees shake.
Am I mad?
‘Darling.’ Her mum’s smile was instantly wide and sunny. ‘You’d take care of Mullinjim?’
‘Yes. I know what to do.’
‘Of course you do. That would be wonderful.’
Bella gulped. She’d been expecting protests. Claims that this wasn’t really women’s work. At the very least . . . hesitation.
Her mother’s eyes were bright. ‘I know you’ve always loved working with the cattle.’
I used to love working with the cattle.
Bella bit back the correction. She wanted to help – of course she did – she just wished she’d given herself more time to get used to the idea. She felt as if she’d stepped off the plane into a whirlwind.
‘I suppose you’ll miss your French boyfriend,’ her mother said as if the decision was already finalised.
Bella nodded. Yes, of course, she would miss Anton. If she stayed here indefinitely, she’d miss everything about her overseas life. It wasn’t going to be easy to slip back into her old ways as if the past two years counted for nothing.
But she wanted to help out. Before she went away she’d been hurt by her parents’ heavy reliance on Luke. It left her feeling she could never really be useful on the property and now she felt an urgent need to prove to everyone that she could do it – just till her dad got better.
She smiled at her mum. ‘You’d better start making a new list. For me.’
‘So you definitely want to do this, Bella?’
‘Yes, Mum, I do.’
She found herself enveloped in one of her mum’s rare hugs.
‘Liz, about our pact . . . ’
Ah . . . Liz thought. Here it comes. She’d been waiting for this moment ever since she’d heard that Luke wasn’t available, and she’d wondered if it might arise now that she and Bella were alone in their shared motel room.
‘So what about our pact?’ she asked Bella, who was sitting cross-legged on her bed. ‘Are you going to tell me that our exit strategy is already under threat?’
Bella grimaced and fiddled with her bare foot. ‘I’ve told Mum that I’ll take over at Mullinjim.’
Liz nodded. ‘I thought you might.’
Bella looked up, eyes wide. ‘Why didn’t you say something before?’
‘I didn’t want to influence your decision.’
Her niece looked at her now with a knowing smile. ‘Come on, Liz. You’ve been a huge influence all my life.’
‘And I can only thank God you’ve turned out all right.’
Bella smiled again, then sighed and flopped back, staring up at the ceiling. ‘It was a shock to find out that Luke has that job at Charters Towers. I would have been more prepared if I’d known.’
‘I guess no one was expecting Peter to have another heart attack.’
‘That’s true.’
Liz waited, giving her niece a chance to gather her thoughts. She remembered Bella when she first arrived in London, a shy, big-eyed country girl, rather overwhelmed by the city, but eager for adventure with a ready smile and a can-do attitude.
‘The property can’t look after itself,’ Bella said, as if she needed to justify her decision. ‘Especially at this time of year. Mum says the drought’s pretty bad and there’s no sign of a wet season yet. An
d it’s calving time, so the cows and heifers need supplements and someone to keep an eye on them.’
She turned to Liz with a rueful smile. ‘Mum hasn’t had any luck finding a manager and I know they’d feel more comfortable if I helped out, at least while Dad’s in hospital.’
‘What about after he’s released?’
‘I guess if he’s well enough, he’ll go home again, the same as he did last time.’
‘I wouldn’t be too sure about that, Bella. I think Virginia would like to keep Peter here in Townsville, close to doctors.’
Bella frowned. ‘I can’t imagine Dad agreeing to that.’
‘He might this time. Don’t forget your parents have had a bad fright. I know your mother would be much more relaxed if they could stay in town with medical help close at hand.’
Bella dismissed this with an impatient wave. ‘I’ll be a stopgap. Until they work things out. That’s the least I can do. Luke deserves a break. He’s set up at Charters Towers and he’s as happy as I’ve ever seen him. Besides, he gave up his holiday in New Zealand last time Dad was rushed to hospital. It’s my turn to chip in.’
‘I agree.’
Bella’s eyes widened.
‘Darling, if you’re looking for approval you have mine in spades. I’m really pleased that you want to help.’
‘Thanks.’ Bella smiled ruefully. ‘The thing is, I’ve always been jealous of Luke. He was always expected to run Mullinjim, and I . . . well––’ She gave a shrug. ‘I’d really like to put Dad’s mind at rest. And I guess there’s also a part of me that really wants to grab this chance to prove to everyone that I can do it.’
‘Why not?’ Liz agreed. And then, fighting back a flare of raw panic, she said, ‘And I’ll come to Mullinjim with you.’
‘Really?’
‘Of course.’ Despite the motel’s air-conditioning, Liz felt trickles of sweat running down her back. Her insides had turned to mush and she was possibly more nervous than she’d ever felt in her life. ‘I want to come.’ She forced a smile. ‘I wouldn’t be happy with you out there on your own.’
‘I’m pretty sure I could manage.’
‘I’ve no doubt you could, Bella, but you’ll have your hands full just looking after the cattle. Besides, I want to do this. For Peter.’
Liz’s voice almost broke as she said this. She forced a lopsided smile. ‘I’ve never been much of a cattlewoman. Not much of a housekeeper either, for that matter, but at the very least, I’d be moral support.’
‘What about your concert commitments?’
‘They can be cancelled. I have a very understanding agent and I’ve already warned him.’ It wasn’t quite the truth, but her agent would cope and she wanted to reassure Bella.
Her ploy worked. Bella was smiling.
‘We can share the weirdness of going back there together,’ she said.
Yes . . .
The weirdness. For thirty years she’d played it safe. Now, to Liz’s dismay, her mind flashed to the one place she never wanted it to go. She felt something deep inside her split open, spilling tears. She shivered and it took a supreme effort to force another smile. ‘It’ll be another adventure.’
‘Yes.’
Was it her imagination or was there a note of panic in Bella’s voice? Liz fancied she heard an echo of the same doubts that screamed inside her at the thought of spending more than a few days in the place they’d both so willingly left.
‘We’ll do a really good job of looking after the place until Dad gets better,’ Bella said with a new decisiveness.
‘And if he doesn’t . . . ?’ The question had to be asked.
Bella bit her lip. ‘In that case . . . I guess . . . I guess we’ll hang around until Mum works out what she wants to do.’
‘It could take months.’
‘Yes.’
Across the room the two women shared tremulous smiles.
Brave smiles.
‘We still have our pact,’ Bella said.
‘Oh, absolutely. We said we’d do whatever it takes for as long as it takes. But we will go back to the northern hemisphere.’
‘Yes, it’s important,’ Bella agreed fervently. ‘We need that escape plan.’ Her smile was wry now as she sat up and lifted her water glass from the bedside table. ‘Here’s to us.’
‘Cattle Queens,’ Liz responded with a laugh.
The toast was barely acknowledged when Bella’s phone rang suddenly and she snatched it up eagerly. ‘Hello? Oh, hi, Mum.’
Liz watched as the expression on her niece’s face morphed from happy anticipation to shocked disbelief. Her heart thudded. It wasn’t bad news about Peter, surely? Please, no.
‘But why?’ Bella was demanding, jumping to her feet, clearly upset. ‘He’s just being stubborn. He’s still in the Dark Ages. Mum, it’s ridiculous. I have to talk to him.’
She finished the call and glared at Liz. ‘Dad’s rejected my offer. He wants to look for a proper manager for Mullinjim.’ She gave an exasperated eye roll. ‘A man.’
Before Liz could summon an appropriately sympathetic response, Bella had thrust her feet into shoes and was heading for the door.
6.
‘Dad.’ Bella once again tiptoed up to the hospital bed. Her father appeared to be asleep, but at the sound of her voice his eyes opened.
‘Hey, Bella.’
‘I know you’re supposed to be resting, but the nurse let me in. I won’t be long.’
‘That’s okay. It’s always a tonic to see you, sweetheart.’
He smiled fondly, the lovely smile he’d given her for as long as she could remember.
Once upon a time, that smile would have been enough. Today she jumped straight to the point. ‘Mum said you don’t want me to look after Mullinjim.’ It was hard to keep the hurt out of her voice.
Her father frowned. ‘I don’t want to drag you away from France, love.’
‘But I’m already here,’ Bella responded, forcing a smile. ‘And I’d really like to help.’ Before her dad could protest, she rushed on. ‘I know exactly what has to be done.’ She shook her head at him as if to block his protests.
‘But it’s tough work, Belle.’
‘That won’t worry me. Please don’t treat me like a pampered Pony Club Princess. You know I’ve always helped with the cattle. I’d much rather be out in the yards than helping Mum in the kitchen. And I know as much about cattle as Luke does.’
Even Bella was surprised by how fiercely important this suddenly felt. Her father was her hero and here he was fighting for his life, and she desperately wanted to show him he could rely on her. She wanted to make him proud.
‘What about your French boyfriend?’
She felt a guilty start. ‘He’s not as important as you,’ she said softly, knowing it was true.
‘But you’d be working out there pretty much on your own. You’d be working cattle as well as doing your own cooking.’
‘Liz would come, too.’
There was no mistaking the flare of doubt in her father’s eyes. It was clear he couldn’t believe Liz would return to Mullinjim after having avoided the place for so long. ‘Have you asked her?’
‘Didn’t have to. She’s already volunteered.’
‘Jeez.’ Her dad looked stunned. ‘You must have more sway with my sister than I have.
‘She doesn’t want you to have any reasons to worry,’ Bella said gently. ‘And neither do I.’
A small silence ticked by.
‘You’d keep in touch, wouldn’t you, Belle? To give me updates?’
She grinned. ‘Sure. I’ll ring Mum or you every night to put your minds at rest.’
Her dad nodded tiredly and, to her relief, he was smiling.
Liz rang Michael from the motel.
‘Darling, how are you? I’ve been so desperate to hear from you. How’s your brother?’
‘He seems to be improving, thanks.’
‘That’s wonderful. I’m so relieved for you. So . . . does that mean you
’ll be back in London soon?’
‘Not exactly. I’m going to stay on for a bit to help Bella run the family farm.’
There was an audible gasp on other end of the line. ‘But that’s crazy,’ Michael blustered.
‘I don’t think so.’
‘It’s bloody ridiculous, Liz. You’re a concert pianist. You can’t work on a cattle property.’
‘It’s not as if I’ll be mustering or branding or any of the rough stuff. We’ll mainly keep an eye on the place. It’s the calving season. And I’m not going to stay there forever.’
Even as she explained this, however, Liz wondered why she bothered to put Michael’s mind at rest. His anger annoyed her. If he actually cared about her he’d be more sympathetic. As it was, he was simply being selfish.
She was surprised by how relieved she was that there were twelve thousand miles between them.
Anton was very quiet when Bella told him her news.
‘You do understand, don’t you?’ she prompted, after an awkward silence.
‘Yes, of course,’ he said. ‘You’re a good daughter, Bella. Your parents must be very grateful. Very proud of you, also.’
‘But it doesn’t mean I’ll forget you, Anton. And you still have my horseshoe charm. You know I’ll be back for that.’
‘Oui.’
He sounded so sad and doubtful that Bella felt close to tears. She took a deep breath. ‘I miss you already. We’ll stay in touch, okay? I’ll phone you and I’ll send emails.’
‘Yes, stay in touch, Bella.’
She hung up, slipped the phone into her pocket and stood at the motel window, looking out at the hot, tropical night. The fronds of the palm trees hung motionless and limp, and the snow-laden fir trees of Lanslebourg seemed so very far away.
She thought about Anton, remembered his eyes of the softest blue and his mouth, so sensual and clearly designed for kissing. She tried to remember exactly what his kisses felt like, but her efforts were ruined by her brother’s voice ringing in her ears.
By the way, Gabe says hi.
7.
‘The country’s even drier out here.’
‘It’s terrible,’ Liz agreed.
‘First job at Mullinjim will be checking the dams and firebreaks.’
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