‘Meg,’ he managed, then disengaged himself, his hands on my shoulders. I had the feeling he was holding me at a distance, as though he did not trust me to stop. Or did not trust himself. ‘You aren’t strong enough for this. I don’t want to hurt you.’
‘You won’t hurt me,’ I whispered, and traced my hand along his cheek.
He turned his head and kissed my hand, his eyes half closed. ‘We can both hurt each other. More than you know, mi querida.’
I thrilled, hearing the loving words on his breath in Spanish, feeling his breath warm on my skin. Only a few minutes ago I had been cold, an empty shell lying on his bed, nothing but a body without breath or a soul. But now my spirit had returned. I was filled with restless love, this devouring flame that left me unable to turn my gaze away from his face. I did not ever want this moment to end.
Too soon he pulled away, sitting up and then coming to his feet. ‘It’s not right,’ he murmured, though I could see from his tense expression that he had been sorely tempted to continue. ‘I should tell the others. The Lady Elizabeth will need to be informed straight away. And your brother is deeply grieved . . .’
‘I know,’ I told him quietly. ‘I was there when Richard brought back my body. I saw and heard it all.’
Alejandro stared, coming back to the bed. As he looked down at me, I could see the shock and disbelief echoing inside him. ‘All?’
I nodded. ‘Every word.’
He went to the table, opening a book that lay there. With slow and careful deliberation, he ran a finger along some of the print, turned the page, then shook his head. ‘It makes no sense,’ he muttered, speaking almost to himself. ‘I do not think you were dead, Meg. I do not know what happened to you, nor where your spirit went for the time when your body was cold. But it cannot have been death.’
I wrinkled my brow, unsure what he meant. It had felt like death to me, and indeed everyone else had thought so too. I had seen their faces, the horror and pity in their eyes, and Richard had carried me all the way from the circle to the house – he, of all of them, would have known if I was not dead. Yet he had told the Lady Elizabeth that a lightning strike had killed me, and here – I pulled up my bare feet and examined the painful scorch marks critically – was the evidence.
‘Why not?’
He had seen me looking at the blackened soles of my feet, and shook his head. ‘Oh, I do not doubt that you were struck by lightning – or some magickal spell that seemed like a bolt of lightning. But I do not agree that your death was not magickal. I believe it was very magickal indeed. Which is why your soul was not released after death, but lingered, staying close to your body.’ He turned another page, staring down at the book. ‘Yes, we were blind, thinking you gone for ever. But your soul knew it had not been meant to leave your body, but had been forced out by some vile magickal trick. When I replaced the crucifix about your neck, your soul was able to return to its rightful place.’
I sat up, shivering as I swung my legs out of bed and touched the cold floor for the first time. The soles of my feet stung horribly. But I gritted my teeth and tried to ignore them.
‘What is that book?’ I demanded. ‘What have you been reading?’
‘Nothing,’ he said defensively.
‘If it’s nothing, then you won’t mind me seeing the title,’ I said, and almost smiled, remembering something similar he had said to me on the stairs at Woodstock once. That had been a secret note from William which I had been trying to hide from him. But this book was rather more serious – and not hidden well enough, to my mind. From what he had just said, it sounded to me like one of the books Master Dee had left with Richard.
Alejandro stood back as I swayed towards the table, watching with an anxious expression as though afraid I would fall, his hands poised to catch me. ‘Careful,’ he murmured.
I stared in horror at the large, leather-bound book, then turned it over to read the title on the spine.
‘Picatrix.’
It was one of the darkest books on ancient magick ever written. As Master Dee had pointed out when he saw me looking at it before he left, the Picatrix was high on the papal list of most forbidden books. This book would earn Alejandro a death at the stake in Spain just by possessing it – and very likely here too, if his priest-masters ever found him studying such a dangerous magickal text.
I was shocked and could not hide it. ‘What . . . why is the Picatrix here in your room?’ I stammered, leaning on the table to support myself. ‘Do you know what this is?’
He nodded, his calm expression leaving me speechless. His smile was tight. ‘I had to understand what you were facing, and what the likely outcome of your summoning would be. I asked Richard and he lent me the book. And a few others like it.’
‘I’ll kill him,’ I swore under my breath.
His eyebrows arched. ‘You don’t think I should be allowed to know what exactly it is that you do out there in the dark, you and Richard?’
My face grew hot. ‘You know what we do . . . that it’s all perfectly innocent.’ I saw his dry smile, and stiffened. ‘Oh, don’t tease me, Alejandro. This isn’t a jest. Not only is this a dangerous book, a book of the darkest and most deadly secrets known to our craft, but if the priests knew what you were reading . . .’
‘I would be tortured, and then burnt as a witch by my own masters.’ He nodded, and touched my face fleetingly, a gentle caress that had my blood on fire for him at once. ‘That is why you should lower your voice, mi alma. I trust Alice and your brother not to betray me, but the servants are another matter. I have been hiding the books under the mattress, but then I heard Richard shouting tonight and left them out here on the table when I ran down to . . .’
He tailed off, no doubt remembering how he had flung open the front door to the house only to see my dead body lying limply in Richard’s arms. The pain in his eyes had not yet died.
But that did not excuse this. This was a death wish, keeping such dangerous, forbidden books in his bedchamber.
‘You’re mad.’
‘Well, I told you that I loved you to the edge of madness. So here I am. Too far gone to return, I fear.’ He put an arm about my waist as my knees buckled and carried me back to the mattress. ‘Now, back to bed. I insist upon it. You are too weak to be standing for so long. Here, let me make you comfortable.’
He shook out his cloak and laid it across me as I shivered on the bed, staring up at the dark ceiling and wondering where I had gone wrong, wilfully leading my beloved astray into such dark territories, into the study of magickal texts that could mean his death.
‘I want you to get some rest while I tell your brother you are alive. He may wish to visit you,’ he added thoughtfully, pausing in the doorway, ‘but I will ask him to wait a little while until you are stronger. I will wait until first light to inform la princesa of your miraculous resurrection. The Lady Elizabeth will be sleeping by now, it’s so late.’ He frowned, then shrugged. ‘No, there is no better word for it but resurrection – though it feels uncomfortably like blasphemy.’
He surveyed me for a moment, clearly concerned by my stillness on the bed. ‘I hope it will be safe to leave you alone. Is there anything you want before I go? I will be back before you know it, but if you are thirsty or hungry . . .’
I sighed, and turned my face heavily into the pillow. Now that I was lying down again, I had suddenly realized how exhausted I was. My eyes closed and I let myself stretch out luxuriously under the warmth of his soft woollen cloak.
‘No, thank you,’ I mumbled, already half-asleep before the door had closed on him. ‘Love you . . .’
‘I love you too, Meg Lytton, and I thank God you are alive,’ he replied gently, and I fell asleep with those words swimming about in the darkness of my mind.
EIGHTEEN
Dismissed
I had enjoyed so many visitors from first light, Alejandro’s chamber felt like a shrine. I had been stared at, and embraced, kissed, and prayed over by almost everyone in the house
hold. Even the Lady Elizabeth had come to the door, and crossed herself at the sight of me alive again, murmuring, ‘I thank God for this most wonderful miracle.’
The princess sent Alice away, who had been salving my burnt feet, then spoke with me alone a few minutes, questioning me about last night and my struggle with the shadow-king.
Elizabeth left me with one last, stern look. ‘I am most grateful for your service in this matter, Meg. My heart is lifted already, knowing the spirit to be gone. I am not pleased, however, that you have become so intimate with Señor de Castillo. He is to be a priest. It is not fitting that you should spend so much time alone with him. I would be failing in my duty if I did not warn you to break off this betrothal. I think it a most dangerous business, and you must know the Queen will never allow such a marriage.’
I said nothing, but bowed my head so she would not see the fiery anger in my eyes. It seemed no one here or at court wanted the two of us together – not even me, at times. Yet surely it was nobody’s business but our own if we chose to marry?
Now at last everyone had gone to church and left me with Richard for company. Alejandro had been reluctant to relinquish his care of me to Dee’s apprentice, hanging over me with dire warnings as he heard of this plan. But I had persuaded him that I needed time alone with Richard to discuss the summoning, and at last he had bowed his head and retreated. But not without shooting Richard the darkest of looks.
My brother too had not wanted to leave me. ‘But what if you should fall ill again in our absence and need me at your bedside? I was so overjoyed to see you alive again this morning, Meg. I could not stand the shock of coming back to find you dead once more.’
Rather than lose my temper with him, I counted silently to ten. ‘I’m not planning to die while you’re out of the house. Does that satisfy you?’
He frowned. ‘Sweet sister . . .’
‘William, do your duty to God and go to church,’ I told him flatly, and was glad when Richard ushered him out of the chamber door. I loved William, as any sister loves her older brother. But sometimes he seemed to forget that I could take care of myself these days.
Richard watched from the narrow window as the household walked to church, the Lady Elizabeth riding on a white palfrey beside Alejandro on his black stallion, with the others walking obediently behind.
‘They’re going,’ he said with satisfaction. ‘Now we can talk without fear of interruption.’
I rose to look down too, and my heart suffered a little spasm of jealousy when I saw what a lovely pair Alejandro and the princess made, riding together to church. The day was warmer too, after weeks of rain and storms, the ground beginning to dry out, the trees bright in the sunshine. I wondered what the Lady Elizabeth would do to separate us, now that she knew Alejandro and I had been secretly betrothed for months. She had seemed to find our intimate head-to-head conversations amusing at first, the witch and the novice. Yet her manner on coming to visit me this morning had been surprisingly cold and distant. Was the princess more annoyed that we had dared to keep our love a secret from her, or that a marriage between us might anger the Queen?
I knew priests of his Order were permitted to marry, under certain strictly imposed rules. But I found it unlikely his Order would condone Alejandro’s marriage to an English girl like me, mere gentry rather than nobility, and still under suspicion by the Inquisition of being a witch. It was not as though Señor Miguel de Pero would conceal such a damning piece of information once he heard we were to be married. It was one thing for these Catholic priests to release a suspected witch for lack of evidence – but they would never stomach me marrying one of their own.
Although my legs were stronger now, I still had to lie down again after shuffling back from the sunlit window. Alice – after staring at me boggle-eyed in astonishment, crossing herself at the miracle of my recovery – had gently applied ointment to my blackened feet, then wrapped them thrice in soft rags to protect the skin as it healed. So walking and standing anywhere was difficult: firstly because my feet hurt so much; and secondly because my ankles looked like two newborn babes in swaddling clothes.
Richard helped me to get comfortable on Alejandro’s bed, then drew up a stool to sit beside me. ‘I must ask you to forgive me first,’ he said quietly, not quite meeting my eyes. I was taken aback, for I had never seen him anything less than confident with me. ‘I failed you badly out there in the woods. It was my task to watch over you, and instead I nearly led you to your death. If I had kept my wits about me, I would have seen your “death” was a magickal one. Some magicians have been buried alive on account of such errors.’
‘You could not have known . . .’
‘Alejandro suspected though, didn’t he?’ Richard ran a hand through his hair. ‘I’m a fool. I have read Master Dee’s books too, again and again, yet he saw at a glance what I did not. And I have had years of training.’
‘So has he,’ I reminded him, ‘to become a priest. Perhaps the two are closer than you realize, the priest and the magician.’
He smiled at that. ‘Never say so to my master. Nor to any of the priests at court. Not if you value your neck.’
I lay a moment in silence, then asked, ‘I lost my charm-stone last night. Did you find it?’
He shook his head. ‘I will go back later and look for it if you wish.’
‘Thank you.’
Richard rose and went to the table. He poured me a glass of watery ale and passed it to me as though he had sensed my thirst, then settled again on the stool beside me. ‘Forgive me for watering it down, but you must have nothing strong to drink,’ he said, when I made a face. ‘Not until we are sure you are recovered – in spirit as well as body.’
‘You doubt me?’
‘I do not have enough experience in these matters to doubt you, Meg. But my master will wish to hear the whole story of your summoning, from start to finish. So if you tell me everything you remember, I will write to him.’ He waited patiently until I had finished drinking, then leaned forward with a sombre expression. ‘Can you start with what happened after you stepped out of the circle? What I saw was a flash of light, then the ground was alight. It sounded like a thunderclap that followed, so I assumed lightning. But it could have been the last struggles of the spirit as he was banished to the otherworld. Alejandro has heard of violent spirit manifestations where the exorcizing priest suffered burns similar to yours, though more commonly on the hands than the feet.’
I looked at him curiously. ‘Did I fall to the ground after the flash of light?’
‘Yes.’ His face became shuttered, closing off emotion. ‘I picked you up and ran back to the house with you. You were dead, Meg. I have seen the dead before, and there is no doubt in my mind. You were dead. And it was my fault. For all the good I did, I might as well not have been there.’
‘No,’ I insisted. ‘If you had not been there to carry me back, no one would have found me until today . . . and I do not think whatever magick brought me back to life could have held out so long. You saved my life by bringing me back to the house.’
He still seemed downcast, so I added with emphasis, ‘Me, and the crucifix. I don’t know how or why, but Alejandro’s crucifix seems to have been the talisman that brought me back to life.’
Richard raised his gaze to mine. ‘But why?’
I shrugged, uncertain myself. ‘Perhaps Master Dee will know. Though it may be something to do with intention.’
‘The talisman was intended to protect you, so it did?’
I nodded.
‘And because Alejandro’s feelings for you are so powerful, the talisman’s protection was too.’ Richard sat back thoughtfully. ‘Yes, that may be possible. But go on, tell me what happened. Do you remember anything after the flash of light?’
I closed my eyes, thinking back. It was hard to step back into that nightmare world, and I did not wish to do it. But I knew Richard would not be satisfied with my mumbled attempt to avoid questions, as my brother had been, and in
deed the Lady Elizabeth too. For Richard, it must be the whole story, and nothing less.
And indeed, I still had questions of my own about what had happened to me after I had apparently died. Perhaps between us we could answer them.
‘The spirit was powerful, I remember that.’ I drew breath, forcing myself to remember. ‘I have no memory of dying. To me, it was just another vision, like all the others. Except that instead of Marcus Dent being there, this time the shadow creature was with me on the tower.’ Briefly, I told him what had happened on the tower top, then explained how I had been able to watch him carrying me back to the house, and had heard everything in the Great Hall. ‘I thought I was dead too. But then Alejandro placed the crucifix about my neck again, and . . . and kissed me, and suddenly I was back in my body again.’
The near-black eyes narrowed on my face. ‘He kissed you.’
‘Yes,’ I said defensively. It was not as though he did not know we were betrothed, for I had heard Alejandro openly announce it in the Great Hall last night. ‘Is it important?’
‘I’m not sure.’
‘All that matters, surely, is that I survived.’
‘Barely,’ he said, bitterness in his voice.
Guilt suffused me. It must have been so hard for him, carrying my dead body back through the darkness, and fearing that it had been his fault. Though of course it had been my own stupidity that nearly got me killed, stepping out of the protective circle like that. I had been lured out of the circle by the seductive power of the shadow-king, but I should have been prepared for his tricks and remained where I was safe. The only thing that had saved me from outright death was that I was still wearing Alejandro’s crucifix when the spirit’s fury struck like lightning – though my body was caught in a magickal trance of death when the crucifix fell off. That was my best guess, at any rate.
And I would have stayed dead if Richard had not picked up the fallen crucifix and given it back to Alejandro.
Witchfall Page 24
