by Bali Rai
A load of burned bits of bread fell out all over the place and she swore.
‘She’s in a bad mood,’ I replied.
‘How do you know?’ asked my mum, putting the toaster back on the worktop. ‘And does anyone ever clean this bloody toaster?’
‘She just rang,’ I said, answering her first question.
‘Oh.’
‘And no one cleans a toaster,’ I replied to her second.
‘Not in this house, obviously,’ she said as she looked at the pile of toast crumbs she’d just made. ‘So what did she say?’ she added.
‘Nothing – that’s the point,’ I told her.
‘She put the phone down again?’
‘Er … yeah.’
My mum looked at me and smiled. ‘Well, you’d better be back by twelve,’ she insisted. ‘You’re coming shopping with me.’
‘Oh – why can’t David go for a change?’ I complained.
‘Because he’s going to be busy,’ she replied.
I started to protest but my mum stepped in.
‘Cleaning the bathroom and the kitchen,’ she said. ‘You can always swap.’
‘No – that’s OK. I love going shopping with you,’ I lied.
I went upstairs to get ready, wondering what was up with my best friend.
Lisa opened the door with a little smile and led me through the hallway into the kitchen. She switched on the kettle and then turned to me.
‘Sorry,’ she said, smiling again.
‘You and your putting the phone down.’ I grinned. ‘It’s like throwing your toys out of a pram …’
‘Yeah – I know. I’m still sorry,’ she told me.
‘You’re always sorry,’ I replied. ‘So what’s up?’
‘Cup of tea?’ asked Lisa, ignoring my question.
It took her about an hour of talking rubbish before she decided to tell me what was wrong. It was all about some boy she liked who didn’t even know she was alive.
‘I’ve tried everything,’ she told me. ‘Smiling, charm, even short skirts …’
‘Which boy are we talking about?’ I asked.
‘I can’t say,’ she replied. ‘I’ll tell you some other time …’
‘And that’s what you were all funny about on the phone?’
She nodded.
‘Weirdo,’ I said.
She shrugged.
‘Can I ask you a favour,’ I added quickly. ‘It’s about tonight …’
Lisa gave me a funny look and shook her head. ‘I’m not going to that bhangra gig – I told you,’ she replied.
‘I don’t want you to,’ I said. ‘But I do want you to come out tonight.’
The kettle boiled and Lisa took two mugs from a cupboard above the worktop. ‘I’m not in the mood,’ she replied.
‘I know but it might cheer you up and I really wanted you to come out with me and Tyrone,’ I admitted.
‘Like a chaperone?’ she joked.
‘No – not at all. I just thought you could get to know him a bit more,’ I said. ‘And besides, he’s bringing a friend.’
Lisa gave me a dirty look and put the mugs down. ‘Oh no! There’s no way I’m going on a blind date just to help your boyfriend out – you got the wrong chick for that,’ she said.
‘It’s not like that, babe. It’s not a date – just some mates havin’ a laugh.’
Lisa began to make the tea as she replied. ‘That’s what you said last time – when you wanted to go out with Danny Jones. I ended up with his smelly mate while you were snogging the faces off each other in another row.’
I shrugged. She was talking about a disastrous double date we’d been on when we were both thirteen. To the cinema.
‘He wasn’t so bad,’ I lied.
‘Yeah – apart from the smell of fish and the snot that he kept sniffing up his nose. Oh, and the yellow trainers too,’ she reminded me.
‘At least it was dark,’ I joked.
‘Not dark enough – those bloody trainers were glowing.’
‘You know what your problem is, don’t you?’
She threw a couple of tea bags into the mugs before she replied. ‘What’s that then?’
‘You’ve got no sense of adventure.’
Lisa shrugged. ‘I could have done without my sense of smell too on that date.’
‘Honestly, it’s not a date. I just want you to meet Tyrone properly. Please …’
‘You really like him, don’t you?’ she asked.
‘Yeah – I do.’
She looked into my face. ‘But not enough to tell your parents – or even your brother?’
‘I wanted you to get to know him first,’ I protested.
‘Oh,’ she said, sounding taken aback.
‘And besides – I’m going to tell my family soon anyway.’
‘About bloody time too,’ said Lisa, handing me a cup of steaming tea with no milk in it. Just how I liked it.
‘You got any lemon?’ I asked.
‘No, you posh cow, I’ve got lemonade.’
‘Not quite the same,’ I said, putting the mug down. ‘We kind of did something the other night,’ I added.
‘Who?’ she asked.
‘Me and Tyrone – who’d you think?’
Lisa grinned, put her mug down too and went to shut the kitchen door. ‘Oh yeah … do tell,’ she said.
SIMRAN
THERE WERE LOADS of young people milling around in the car park outside the club – most of them couldn’t have been much older than us. The crowd was separated along gender lines, with groups of lads eyeing up groups of girls. Some of them were taking crafty slugs from quarter bottles of Bacardi, trying to avoid the doormen who were standing at the entrance, beginning to let people in. When a queue started forming, Ruby, Priti and some other girls they knew joined it. I told my cousin that we’d meet her in the same spot just after one a.m.
‘You’d better,’ she said, looking worried.
‘If I was you, I’d keep an eye out for your brothers – don’t worry about me and whether I’m gonna turn up or not.’
‘Where are you going anyway?’ she asked.
‘The Tunnel Bar – Tyrone’s dad works there.’
She almost flinched at Tyrone’s name and I decided that I was never going to be an alibi for her again.
‘Have fun,’ she told me, with an edge to her voice.
I fought back the urge to say something else, something that might have inflamed the situation; instead I walked off to join Lisa, who was talking to some Asian lads. At least, they were trying to talk to her. After we’d left them some way behind us, Lisa swore.
‘Immature little shits,’ she added.
‘Who?’
‘Them lads – they were pissed up and one of them asked me if I liked it brown.’
‘Liked what brown?’ I asked stupidly.
‘What do you think?’
‘Ew!’
Lisa avoided a discarded box of fried chicken and then stepped aside again as another three Asian lads almost walked straight into her.
‘Watch where you’re going!’ she shouted after them.
‘Fuck off, you goreeh ho!’
I turned and glared at the lad who’d replied.
‘You want summat?’ he asked.
His mates told him to leave it as I wondered how good he felt, getting aggravated with a couple of girls.
‘I bet he’s got the smallest penis in the world,’ I told Lisa.
‘Smaller than that,’ she added. ‘Come on, let’s get to wherever we’re going.’
‘We’ll be there soon,’ I said. ‘It’s only round the next corner.’
She put her arm through mine and we walked on, as I told her about Tyrone’s mate.
* * *
The bar was packed out by midnight but we didn’t have to wait to get in. The doormen knew Tyrone, who’d met us outside, and let us in even though there was a queue. Tyrone’s dad wasn’t around though – he was out with his own mates and Tyrone was
pleased about it too.
‘Can’t be romancin’ my gal wit’ my dad around, now can I?’
‘Why not?’ I asked him.
‘Nah – that’s just embarrassing,’ he added, before going off to the bar.
The music was so loud that I had to shout at Lisa, in order to be heard. Tyrone and Azhar came back with some drinks and when Lisa took hers, Azhar leaned closer and spoke into her ear. He had a thin goatee beard and a slightly elongated face, with light brown eyes. And it looked like he’d had his eyebrows plucked. They were just too perfect. He was wearing baggy pants, like the salwaar that old Asian women wear, and low-profile trainers that might as well have been slippers. They were yellow. I wondered whether Lisa had seen them and burst into laughter.
‘What’s so funny?’ Tyrone shouted above the music.
‘His trainers – and everything else he’s got on – and the eyebrows,’ I admitted.
‘He’s just flamboyant, that’s all. Man always dresses different. Like he’s got his own style. Don’t take the piss …’
‘I can’t help it. I mean, is that a purse he’s got round him?’
I was looking at a small, tan leather thing that was hanging across his body, to one side. It looked like a girl’s accessory.
‘Er … yeah. I think he got it from Top Shop,’ Tyrone replied sheepishly.
‘And he’s your mate?’
‘One of them. He’s a lot older than me,’ he said.
‘I like his shirt though. And his hair,’ I added.
The shirt was white with an open collar, and vertical embroidery in white stitching. It was beautiful.
‘He’s all right, you know – he’s just different.’
I watched as he tried to chat Lisa up and she lapped it up like a cat with cream. She was flirting with him for sure but I knew that she was just playing. She’d told me as much when we’d gone to the ladies. I stood on my toes and leaned up towards Tyrone’s ear.
‘She doesn’t fancy him,’ I told him.
‘No big deal,’ he replied.
‘Don’t you think it’s funny though? Watching him trying so hard.’
‘I would if I was watching,’ Tyrone said. ‘But I’m only interested in you …’
He put his arms around my waist and gave me a long kiss, as another tune started and the crowd in the bar went mad. Not that I was paying too much attention. I wanted to be somewhere alone with my boyfriend and when he stopped kissing me I leaned against his chest. He smelled great, even through all the cigarette smoke, and his chest felt like someone had carved it out of granite. As I stayed pressed up close to him, I wondered how I was going to tell my mum and dad about our relationship. And that was what it had become. I hadn’t been too sure to begin with, but the more time I spent with him, the more I wanted to. He was clever, funny and gorgeous. Perfect. And I was totally into him too, in a way I’d never been with anyone else. All my other boyfriends – all three of them – had been silly crushes that disappeared within a month. This was different though. It felt real and strong and right. I made up my mind that I’d tell my mum first and take it from there.
‘I’m gonna talk to my mum in the week,’ I told him.
‘Because you don’t at weekends?’ he replied, trying to joke.
‘You ain’t funny,’ I teased. ‘I’m gonna talk to her about you and me.’
He raised his eyebrows. ‘You sure about that?’ he asked, looking concerned.
‘Absolutely. If that’s OK with you – I don’t want you to feel pressured or nothing …’
He shrugged. ‘Where’s the pressure?’
‘Because I reckon we’ve got a good thing here,’ I added, hoping that he felt as strongly as I did.
‘I know,’ he replied. ‘You’re my first proper girlfriend, you know.’
‘What’s proper?’ I asked.
‘You know … proper.’
I kissed him before replying. ‘Yeah, I know …’
I don’t think he heard me say that I loved him because the DJ put on a dancehall tune that was obviously a crowd favourite. A big roar went up and the bass line made the windows vibrate. I didn’t mind that he hadn’t heard me. I was happy knowing for myself that I loved him. I didn’t need anything else. Apart from another kiss.
* * *
Azhar insisted on walking with us back down to the club where Ruby was waiting. I reckon it was more to do with him fancying Lisa than being a gentleman but I didn’t mind. I held Tyrone’s hand as we walked and for the first time since we’d met I wasn’t worried about who saw us or what they might say. I just didn’t care any more. The problem was that others – both strangers and people I knew – did care. And that became clear when we arrived outside the bhangra gig, where an even bigger crowd than before was milling about.
We stood by a low wall that surrounded the car park, about ten metres from the club’s entrance, waiting for Ruby to come out. I was still holding Tyrone’s hand and I noticed that some of the mainly Asian crowd who were hanging around had noticed. A girl wearing a red outfit looked me up and down and then turned up her nose. Her friends whispered something to each other and then gave me dirty looks. I turned to Tyrone and kissed him, trying to wind them up. It worked. The first girl shook her head and called me a whore. Lisa perked up when she heard it.
‘What’s her problem?’ she asked no one in particular.
I watched as she walked over to the girl in red and shoved her in the chest. The girl tried to hold her ground but Lisa is tough, and she towered over her. She grabbed her by the throat and said something to her. The girl’s face fell as Lisa let her go and walked back over to us.
‘You’re mad!’ laughed Azhar.
‘Stupid cow – she deserved it,’ replied Lisa.
‘So you comin’ out again?’ asked Azhar, grinning.
‘You should watch that,’ I replied. ‘She’s only fifteen.’
‘Sixteen in a month,’ protested Lisa.
‘Yeah, but he’s, like, eighty,’ I joked.
‘Lookin’ good though,’ replied Azhar, striking a pose.
‘If you say so,’ giggled Lisa.
I looked towards the door just as Ruby made her way out. She was wobbling and looked like she’d drunk far too much. I waited for her to see us but instead she turned to speak to Priti, who’d followed her out. Behind them a load of lads tumbled through the door and I recognized Pally from school. I turned round quickly, hoping that he hadn’t seen me. But it was too late.
‘Oi, Simran!’ he shouted. ‘What you doin’?’
He stumbled forward as he spoke and then stood, swaying. He was out of his tree. Tyrone looked at me and then over to Pally.
‘Who’s that?’ he asked.
‘Some lad from school. He’s a dickhead,’ I replied, ignoring Pally.
‘Simran! Don’t ignore me,’ Pally said in Punjabi.
‘You want me to tell him to get lost?’ asked Tyrone.
‘No –just leave it,’ I insisted.
But then Ruby joined us and Pally started getting angry.
‘What you standin’ with that kalah for? Come over here to us real men, sister.’
Tyrone looked at me, shrugged like he was sorry for something and then turned to face Pally. ‘You what?’ he asked, squaring his shoulders.
‘I ain’t talkin’ to you – bwoi. I was talking to my sister there,’ replied Pally.
‘She ain’t your sister,’ Tyrone told him.
Pally smirked. ‘Well, she sure as fuck ain’t yours, is she?’ he said, grinning in that way that really pissed people do when they think they’ve been really clever.
‘She is my girl though,’ Tyrone told him.
Pally’s face changed from a sneer to confusion and then to anger. He looked at me and spat at the floor. ‘What – you turned me down for a kalah? You fucking shot it?’ he spat.
I grabbed Tyrone’s hand, as Lisa and Azhar stepped towards us. Ruby’s face turned crimson.
‘Let’s go,’ I sai
d to Tyrone.
‘Nah – he’s out of order,’ he replied.
‘Yeah – the bwoi needs a good slap,’ added Azhar, who stepped in front of Tyrone and me. ‘You got a problem, kid?’ he asked Pally.
‘Fuck off, you Paki bastard,’ snapped Pally.
Azhar pulled his purse around behind his back and cracked his knuckles. I looked at Lisa with panic in my eyes.
‘Stop him!’ I urged.
Lisa nodded and pulled Azhar back. ‘Leave it,’ she said to him. ‘Don’t ruin a fun night because of those boys.’
‘Come on then!’ Pally shouted drunkenly as he swayed on his feet.
‘Leave it!’ snapped Lisa.
Azhar calmed down but he didn’t stop looking at Pally. ‘I’ll catch you next time,’ he warned.
‘Oh, I’m so scared,’ sneered Pally before turning his attention back to me.
‘Don’t look at her,’ threatened Tyrone.
Pally ignored him. ‘What are you doing – are you some kind of whore?’ he asked me in Punjabi.
‘I said, don’t bother with her,’ repeated Tyrone.
‘Piss off, you nigger.’
Just as Tyrone stepped forward the doormen threw out a load more Asians, most of them lads I recognized. Desi Posse. My stomach flipped and I grabbed Tyrone’s hand.
‘Come on!’ I insisted. ‘That’s the rest of his mates. Let’s get out of here!’
Tyrone looked at Pally and then at me. ‘Just ’cos you’re askin’,’ he told me, anger in his eyes.
I turned and walked quickly back up the street and Tyrone and the rest followed. We didn’t stop when Pally shouted after us.
‘Everyone’s gonna know you’re a ho,’ he told me. ‘Dirty slag.’
I ignored him and ensured that Tyrone did the same. We got to the top of the road and Tyrone flagged down a black cab.
‘You better get home,’ he said, as the cab pulled up to the kerb.
‘What you gonna do?’ I asked him hurriedly.
‘Never mind about me and Azhar – we can take care of ourselves,’ he replied.
‘You can’t go back to the club,’ I told him.
He shook his head. ‘Don’t worry – I ain’t. But that fuckin’ bwoi is gonna get it when I see him again,’ he spat.
