by Curran, Tim
Burke was always warning him about going slow because he was already trying the patience of command, but he wasn’t about to go slow. There was a time to hide and wait, a time to listen, and a time to spring and go for the throat and that particular time was now.
As he sat in the forward trench, lost in thought, watching the slugs inching out of the trench walls, listening to the frogs croaking out in flooded bomb craters, he tried vainly to find his cynicism, his detachment, his objectivity—these were the meat and blood of any journalist—but they were gone. They no longer existed. He was one great creeping mass of anxiety from his head to his feet.
Go ahead, boyo, track down this Dr. Hamilton. Let him open his dark chest of wonders and let you peer inside. Write it all down. Write the story that can never be published. But it’s more than journalism now, it’s more than war reporting…it’s personal and you know it. Whatever’s at the root of this madness, it’s got your number.
And that number is about to be punched.
Sergeant Kirk came sloshing through the standing brown water and Creel nearly jumped out of his skin.
“Keep your head down,” he said. “The Hun is about to come calling. I can feel it in my bones.”
And Creel could too.
He could feel the tension building through the trenches like every man there was wired together, part of some machine of cycling dread. In the dugouts, on the firestep clutching rifles with almost religious devotion, huddled over meager dinners of cheese and Bully Beef, leaning up against sandbagged ramparts—all the faces were the same: bleached white, lips pulled into stern gray lines, eyes huge and almost neurotic in their intensity. The Tommies prayed, squeezed rosary beads in their fists, holding tight to good luck charms and fetishes, everything from rabbits’ feet to a badly worn photograph of a wife or a cherished child, and—in some cases—the dingy brass button off the tunic of a mate who’d gone home or a favored spent shell casing that had saved a life or some nameless wooden effigy carved out of boredom and hope, smoothed into an unrecognizable shape by oily grasping fingers.
Creel was not immune to it.
He found himself gripping his field notebook, tensing fingers pressing into familiar grooves in the leather cover. He watched men going through the pre-battle rituals of survival—touching objects, holding their rifles a certain way, squatting in a particular stance, many of them humming beneath their breath or whistling a lost tune from childhood. These were all protections against evil, dismemberment, and death. Charms that would get them through one more battle and one more day and the stark horror of fatalism was apparent on the faces of any that had broken, however minutely or innocently, the sanctified steps of ritualization.
Night crept over the sandbags in black twisting worms of funeral crepe. Breathing was low, heartbeats high. Sweat broke on faces. Limbs trembled so badly they had to be held in place.
Sergeant Burke was next to him. “Hold tight, mate,” he said. “We’ll soldier through.”
Good old Burke. Tough as nails. Made of the real stuff, as they said. Unlike himself whom he viewed more and more as some death-obsessed carrion crow picking away at the remains of lives, Burke was the real thing: a soldier, a hero, someone you could look up to, would be glad to call friend, the sort you’d be glad to give your daughter’s hand to in marriage knowing that, in the end, he always did the right thing, the honorable thing. As he thought this, he felt Burke’s hand take hold of his own and clasp it tightly in friendship. It was something the men did when the shelling got heavy—holding onto one another, fusing themselves together. But Creel had never been part of it. He was always alone…now Burke made him part of the chain and he felt a tear in his eye.
As darkness dimmed the sky and shadows crawled thickly, the German flares burst overhead, green and yellow, turning the trench system into some weird strobing shadowshow of stiff-legged figures as they drifted earthward, sputtering, on their little parachutes, revealing the jagged wounds in the earth and the insects that scuttled in them.
Then it began.
Shells came in with screaming blue-white velocities, dropping like autumn leaves and detonating the scarred countryside in vast, ear-shattering eruptions of pulverized earth and spraying black mud. Blazing shrapnel lit anything afire that was remotely flammable. Wood and fallen trees were blackened into charcoal sticks, water boiled to steam, sandbags glowed into blossoms of fire.
Creel saw lightning flash, heard thunder and felt earthquake. Smoke and fire and screaming and burning flesh. In the distance, the heavy guns popped like champagne corks, and every man in the trenches was listening intently, giving each and every round a personality all its own. Not just mindless projectiles, but death-dealing fingers of fate that were preordained to take certain lives and spare others. Pop, pop, pop, went the field guns and the men would think, worry, contemplate the unknown, the great mystery: There…that one…that one sounds like the one for me, I know that sound, I heard it before, maybe that’s what I heard when I died last time. The sky rained shells and some detonated in the distance and some quite close, but all shrieking with their expulsions of shrapnel seeking flesh to macerate.
Crouched against the trench wall while men shouted and sobbed around him, Creel listened to the shells come as he always listened to them come, gripping Burke’s hand ever tighter: whistling and screaming, buzzing like swarms of locusts…and others, fired from the heavy guns…came roaring like freight trains passing overhead. But the result was always the same—an eruption, flying shrapnel, a shockwave that would knock you flat and give you a concussion if you were close enough.
The shells kept coming and coming as if the Hun were intent on destroying the trenches themselves, erasing the battlescars of man’s preoccupation with killing his own kind. They came in volleys that went on for thirty minutes or more then there was a shattered silence for maybe ten or fifteen and they started flying again.
When the trench wall blew apart, covering him in mud and dirt and sandbags, Creel crawled up through it like a mole seeking sunlight. All around him in the flickering glow of the German flares he could see that the trench system had been wiped out, reassembled. There was nothing but an irregular series of smoldering shell-holes all around him flanked by mountains of earth, sticks, rubble, and corpses. Men were crying out for stretcher bearers, but not many because most were either gone or buried alive.
He was still gripping Burke’s hand…but Burke was no longer attached to it. He cried out and tossed the hand aside, almost hating himself for doing so.
The darkness was broken only by flaming wreckage or an occasional flare drifting overhead, the air thick with rolling plumes of smoke and a dust storm of dirt and grit and pulverized fragments that slowly rained earthward. There were cinders and soot everywhere. The entire landscape—what he could see of it—had been taken apart and rearranged and there was no way to tell where the rear was or where the Hun lines were or where to escape to.
Stunned, face black with ash and mud, Creel found he could not stand and when he did, he went right down to his knees. So he crawled over the earth, calling out for survivors in a dry, ragged voice that was barely above a whisper. A shadow stepped out of the gloom and he knew it was a German soldier, a big fellow in a shining steel helmet, rifle in hands, an enormous bayonet raised to strike. Then there was a single hollow report and the Hun fell to the earth and did not move. Another shape came out of the gloom and Creel called out to him, but was ignored. Whoever it was took the German’s helmet and rifle and disappeared into the shadows.
Trophy hunter, he thought, a goddamn trophy hunter of all things.
He got to his knees, crawling again. The BEF artillery was answering in kind now, lobbing shells at the German positions. There was sporadic gunfire all around him, the sound of grenades going off, the occasional dull thump of a trench mortar. The Germans, he realized, had let loose with one barrage after the other and now raiding parties were moving into the sector. He saw the silhouettes of several men clim
bing atop a razorbacked hill that had not existed before the barrage.
He climbed to his feet again, still wobbly, but better. He stood there for a time, clearing his head, stumbling along a thread of earth that zigzagged haphazardly amongst a series of bomb craters. Then he tripped and fell into a shell-hole, emerging finally from muck and water. He heard a volley of machine-gun fire, felt rats crawling over him. His grasping fingers searched along the muddy wall and found he was in luck: a ladder. The crater must have been part of a trench before the barrage.
He crawled out, over the muddy pitted ground, scaling humped things that he soon realized were bodies. Then another flare passed overhead and he saw that he was in a field of corpses, hundreds of them spread in every direction. Not all were dead. Some were writhing on the ground calling for medics and stretcher bearers. He saw men without limbs. Men who were living trunks being worried by rats.
He kept moving, sickened, beaten, beyond hope.
“Hey, mate, over here,” said a voice.
Creel crawled towards the form. He cradled the broken body in his arms and realized the man was dead, shattered by concussion. His head in Creel’s hands, though intact, was almost liquid within, the skull nearly disintegrated. Everything inside moved with a slow gelatinous roll.
Crawling again.
Over corpses. Fragments of the same. Through muddy holes and pools of standing water, rats skittering around him, driven into panic by the bombardment. He came across a Tommy who was sitting upright, his back wedged up against a furrow of blackened earth. “Hallo, Captain,” he said. “Bit of bitters tonight, ain’t she?” His left leg was missing, his right arm nothing but a burnt fleshless mass. In his left hand he was holding his stomach and intestines. He kept talking as though Creel were not even there.
“Barmy bit of luck,” he said as Creel moved off.
How long he crept through the nightscape he did not know, only that after what seemed hours, the war still murmuring around him from time to time, he began to see men coming through the moonlight. What appeared to be hundreds of them, gashed and broken, streaming blood from wounds. Their eyes were bulging. They were tearing at their throats. Gassed. All of them gassed. Yellow foam was gushing between their lips and he watched as they all began to fall, piling up atop one other, vomiting yellow slime from their mouths. Even in the pale moonlight, he could see that their faces were black as they gasped out their last breaths.
For not the first time, his writer’s mind contemplated the possibility that he was in hell. For he’d been in lots of battles but never anything like this. Never anything that so completely took apart the earth and put it back together again like a puzzle missing half its pieces.
When he hadn’t heard anything for a time, he crawled into a muddy furrow and let himself smoke, let his nerves calm, his heart find its rhythm. He was probably crawling in circles. Better to wait. Listen. Make sense of things. An orderly retreat when the time came.
Sure, that was sensible military thinking.
He laid there for some time, the roaring of the guns in the distance now, the war having moved on to more fertile pickings.
Quiet.
Yes, it was suddenly unnaturally quiet. There was not a sound in any direction just that hushed weird stillness like a great switch had been thrown.
Creel had experienced it before, on many battlefields and in many wars.
Usually during the blackest hours of night, it would descend over the trenches and for a few shocking, gut-crawling moments you would wonder if you had died. If a shell had come screaming down on your position and blasted you to ropy fragments. They said you never heard the shell that got you and there was probably a truth buried in that one, but sometimes the silence was much worse than the shelling.
Out in No-Man’s Land, beyond the perimeter and wire entanglements, just…nothing. No rats scavenging, no wild dog packs howling. No men moving. No rain falling. It was eerie, hushed, waiting. Like something hiding in the darkness making ready to spring and tear out your throat. And though it was soundless, that silence had a quality to it all its own. A bigness, a volume, a weight that you could feel crushing the wind from you second by second as it settled down like a stone slab over an open grave.
It never lasted for more than hour or so and oftentimes, much less, but while it did it was impossible not to feel it gathering around you. Impossible not to listen to it, to see if there was something out there, something hiding in that blank-faced murk…like maybe you might hear the soft thud of its heart or the sound of its breathing.
The bottom line was, for however long it lasted, he knew, senses became very finely attuned and your mind assured you it was hearing something that no ears could possibly detect: bodies decomposing, rats licking their fur, flies laying eggs, maggots bursting from the sweet-sickly pulp of carrion.
Creel was breathing hard now.
He hated this.
It was like all of Flanders was waiting for something, tensing, coiling itself into a tight silent ball.
Trembling, he lit another cigarette and the sound of his lighter echoed into the night with volume as if the very physics of the air was somehow…deranged, turned inside out.
Wait, just wait, boyo, because it’s coming and you know it’s coming. Something’s about to happen. Get ready.
A perfectly white mist had gathered over the ground now, blown up, it seemed, from craters and shell-holes and jagged cuts. At first he thought with panic that it was gas, but gas was never that perfectly white, the color of bridal lace. About the time he finished his cigarette, he began to hear sounds out there in the desolation. Sounds like whispering voices.
Was it men like him sneaking about or—
He could hear feet in the muddy earth, splashing through puddles, pushed down, pulled free. Many, many feet and they were coming in his direction. Swallowing, a sudden heaviness in his chest, he felt a cool tingle at his spine and something like a current of electricity in his bones.
Closer now.
He did not see them, but he knew they were there. He smelled a stench of putrefaction that was warm and yeasty, but it could have come from anywhere out there, a dozen pockets of the unburied dead. It did not mean that…what was out there was not human. Yet—yet—he felt certain that what was coming to call was something other than lost soldiers creeping through the blasted remains of the trenches.
This was something else.
Something that was not evading, but…hunting.
He heard a sound, quite near, like someone breathing in through their nose with a quick wheezing intake of breath. The sound of someone sniffing like an animal, trying to scent prey, follow the spoor.
Creel felt himself go hot then cold all over. Drops of perspiration wetted his skin and a greasy sort of fear-nausea twisted in his belly.
Something was coming.
He would see it soon.
It was coming over the ridge.
And then he did see it and maybe he had been looking at it for some time, for there atop the ridge in a near-perfect band of moonlight was what he’d first taken to be a withered dead tree rooted in the earth…but it was moving and it looked, if anything, like some marionette: skeletal like a broken doll, twisted at the waist, head laid low against one shoulder sprouting hair like limp cobwebs, trailing limbs like living sticks.
It was sniffing the air.
“Where are you hiding?” it said, a woman’s voice gone to a shrieking dry screech like iron scraped over concrete. “I know you’re there…I can smell you.”
Her face was bleached and bloodless, cratered and sunken like the dark side of the moon. He could see eyes that were a hot smoldering red scanning the landscape, fingers twitching, as she sniffed the air.
“Here,” she said. “I can smell him…he’s here.”
All around her, figures rose up. A dozen then two dozen—wraiths, ghost-children whose faces were a luminous white in the moonlight like glowing paper lanterns. Moppets in ragged shrouds, rungs of gleam
ing bone jutting through, the buzzing of flies only slightly louder than their whispering voices.
“Find him!” the woman ordered.
They sank away into the mist like swimmers submerging, only they didn’t vanish. They were down on their hands and knees, sniffing the earth like hounds, crawling down the ridge like spidery white ants on a hillside. Creel, seized up with a terror that was limitless, watched them coming, moving like lumbering insects, thick glottal noises coming from their throats.
Several passed quite near to him and it wasn’t a matter of whether they would find him, but when. This was it. It all hung in the balance and he was painfully aware of the fact. To die by shellfire or a sniper’s bullet was one thing, but to be taken down by these…these children was something else again. He would be rendered to the bone. They would suck his blood and marrow, swim in his viscera and bathe in the blood from torn arteries.
Out of desperation, he tried the simplest trick in the book. His hand found a stone that was perfectly smooth, perfectly worn, as if it had lay on a river bottom for many, many years. He felt its weight in his palm, hefting it. He tossed it over his shoulder with everything he had and heard it thump against something and then splash.
A dozen heads wreathed in flies popped up from the mist.
“There!” called the old witch on the ridge. “There he is!”
She joined the chase and passed within five feet of him. When they were all gone into the fog, he scampered away up the ridge and down the other side, running and stumbling and swimming across flooded shell-holes. He threw himself down and fell atop a waterlogged corpse that went to a gushing white slush beneath him. The stench was gassy and evil, but he did not dare cry out.
