by Jacki Renée
“Thanks, Bryan.” She climbs on her knees, throwing her arms around his neck, kissing his cheek. “You’re the best.”
The genuine smile on his face makes my heart flutter.
She wipes her eyes with a swipe of the back of her hand and bounces off the bed.
“Let your mom do your hair.”
“You said it was perfect.” She skips out of the room.
“Thank you. I was going to talk to Jennifer later.” I walk toward the door, sensing him a step behind. His hands sneak out, closing it and trapping me.
He narrows the gap between our bodies by pressing me into the cool, hard surface of the door, my back to his front.
My hair is swept to the side as his lips rain titillating kisses on the skin of my neck. His hands slide down the door, then move to my hips. The fabric of my skirt gathers in his hands.
“May I?” The tip of his tongue traces my ear.
A titillating heat lingers between my thighs. I moan and nod my consent.
“I need to hear you say it.”
“Yes, you may.”
My skirt rises to expose my thighs, and his expert hand slides inside the front of my panties, cupping me. I look over my shoulder at him and we share a private smile.
My hips move, mimicking the movement of his fingers.
An awkward kiss stifles my sounds of pleasure against his lips.
“What’s happening?!” My body wonders.
My brain replies, “You’ve had two orgasms in one day!”
I wobble to the bathroom to freshen up.
We leave the room, fingers intertwined, and rejoin the festivities.
“What happened to your face?” Madelyn croaks.
Makeup couldn’t hide the bruise or the purple-and-green knot on my forehead.
“I bumped my head on his rock hard...” I pause. My hand runs down his chest, stopping explicitly low on his stomach. His muscles contract. Bryan leads me away, leaving the Toads to interpret that any way they please.
We join Tom and Max, standing by the window with their daughter, Penelope.
“Do you have a fever, Danikins, or is a Hawk making you hot?” Max presses the back of his hand to my forehead.
“Humm... I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I lean away.
Max gives me duck lips and a quick head tilt. “Humph, you were fine before you went upstairs.”
“Why are you standing here with your dads?” I ask Penelope.
She shrugs as her eyes cut to the three girls singing on the karaoke machine. I know I should take her over there because that’s where she really wants to be, but it’s too close to Max’s all-seeing-eyes. I spot Kourtney and Emma on the giant Twister mat on the other side of the room.
I take Penelope’s hand, tugging her away with me.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
After the guests leave and the decorators restore the sitting room and family room, Bryan, Marie, the girls, and I sit at the kitchen table.
After hostessing for five hours, my head is pounding. I need to go upstairs and pack so Kourtney and I can go home.
The doorbell rings and Bryan goes to answer it.
A few minutes later, footsteps echo down the hall.
“I have Emma’s dress. I think she’ll love it,” a female’s voice remarks. “Vinny said to bring sample dresses for a woman and child. He guessed at the sizes.”
A middle-aged woman with dreadlocks and hair charms, steps into the kitchen ahead of Bryan, three garment bags draped over her arms.
“Jailynne, this is Danielle and Kourtney. I realize it’s short notice...”
“Don’t say another word,” she interrupts him, shifting the garment bags to one arm. She motions for me to stand and turn in a circle. “I think we’ll find the perfect dress to complement your beautiful skin tone and accentuate your figure.”
I sense Bryan’s eyes assessing me.
The woman turns to Kourtney. “You are a little princess. I have the perfect dress that will bring out those beautiful hazel eyes.”
“Kourt, take Ms. Jailynne up to your room. Emm, help her pick a dress. Then come to my room and help Dani pick one.”
“That sounds like a plan.” Jailynne follows the girls.
“Dani needs to take her pain meds. Do you have something she can eat right now, Marie?”
“I’m okay, Bryan.” My protest lacks confidence.
“How about that stew you like?” Marie is already rising from her seat. “I’ll warm some and bring it up. Go lie down, dear.”
“Kourtney and I are supposed to go home tonight.” Even as I say the words, my legs turn to rubber and I feel light-headed. Pinpoints of perspiration coat my forehead.
“One more night, Dani.” Bryan moves closer.
My knees buckle and he catches me before I fall to the floor.
Lifting me in his arms, Bryan carries me out of the kitchen and upstairs without saying another word. I don’t protest. I like being in his arms.
He lowers me onto the bed and I settle with my back against the headboard. Bryan loosens the ankle straps of my wedge heels and slides them off my feet.
His fists and muscular arms support his upper body as he hovers over me. Frowning.
I reach out, using my fingertips to massage the lines between his brows.
“How did you know?” I ask.
“When your head hurts, you squint those pretty brown eyes.” His lips follow through with a tender peck on each eyelid. “When something’s bothering you, your nostrils flare.” A delicate peck from his lips touches the tip of my nose. “When you’re angry, your lips tighten”—his lips linger on mine—“and you ball your fists.” One by one Bryan brings my knuckles up to his lips. He comes closer. Cheek to cheek. Bryan whispers in my ears other things he knows about me.
I giggle and smile. The throbbing in my head becomes a faint pulse. He knows stuff James never took the time to figure out.
I wonder how long my marriage would have lasted if James were still alive. Although he didn’t verbalize it, he was anxious about his deployment. And as his friend, I wanted to give him the security he’d always given me. We married on impulse.
James understood what it was like to not have family roots; that was the basis of our friendship. After high school, I went to college. He enlisted in the Army. Our friendship withstood the physical distance, but our relationship didn’t. James changed. Gone was the jovial best friend I’d called my boyfriend. The man he became was—two-dimensional. Our dreams were no longer the same. I know now we never should have crossed the line of friendship, even in high school.
“Scoot forward,” Bryan says, breaking my train of thought. I move up and Bryan climbs onto the bed, sitting behind me.
My hair is parted. His thumbs draw tiny circles from the back of my neck to the base of my skull. I close my eyes, enjoying the gentle massage. Thoughts of my life with James are forced back into the box inside my mind.
The sound of Marie entering the room, without knocking, rouses me. She sets the tray on the nightstand. Dishes clang together. The door closes behind her—hard.
Bryan moves from behind me, filling the space with pillows.
“Comfortable?”
I nod.
He hands me the tray and perches on the edge of the bed. I look down at the mouth-watering bowl of chicken stew.
I lift a spoonful to my mouth. The next one offered to him. He accepts.
“You know what would be good right now?” he asks.
I arch an eyebrow.
“Your red beans and rice.”
“I’ll make you some.”
“Cabbage and cornbread too?”
I nod, offering him a spoonful of stew.
The spoon alternates between his mouth and mine. I give him the last spoonful and reach for the medicine bottle.
Bryan sets the tray on the nightstand.
I want to move forward, but so much of the past keeps me from being impulsive again. He stares at me. The heartbrea
k is mutual. Loneliness mirrored.
Knock, knock, knock!
Jailynne and the girls walk through the door.
“Mommy. Wait till you see my blue princess dress.”
Bryan stands as the girls climb onto the bed. Jailynne lays out the garment bags at the foot and unzips one.
“I’ll get out of your way.”
He leans down, kissing me until the girls giggle.
Bryan pulls away and kisses Emma and Kourtney on the top of their heads before picking up the tray.
“Is Bryan your boyfriend?” Kourtney asks before the door closes behind him.
Unsure how to answer that question, I turn to Jailynne. “So... what do you have in mind for me?”
She pulls out several gowns. I take the first one into the bathroom.
Kourtney’s never seen me interact intimately with a man. I need to think of how I can explain this without giving away too much.
***
After trying on nine different dresses, we all agree on the hunter green one. Jailynne and the girls leave the room. In the center of the bed, I stack pillows behind me and lean back, closing my eyes with the intention of resting for only a minute.
My body is floating in a scented cloud of him, drifting in the direction of peace and comfort. The softness welcomes me. A layer of warmth falls over me. I know he’s here.
“Lie with me, please,” I whisper, needing Bryan’s arms around me.
“I thought you were asleep.”
One by one, the thud of a heavy pair of shoes dropping to the floor momentarily interrupts the silence in the room.
The warm shield lifts, and Bryan’s body slides in next to me.
“I was resting my eyes.”
His body shakes from his laughter. “Is that what they call it when your eyes are closed, mouth wide open, and you’re snoring?”
“I don’t snore.”
“My parents raised a gentleman. I won’t record you next time and playing it back in front of the girls in the morning.”
I wiggle until I find a comfortable position. My head on his chest. Leg between his.
“Why didn’t you answer Kourt’s question?” he asks.
“You heard?”
His fingers slowly run through my hair. It relaxes me.
“Why did you kiss me in front of her?”
“She’s seen you kiss a boyfriend or two.”
“I’m not one of those single mothers who parades men in and out of my child’s life. I don’t sleep with every Tom, Dick, or Vinny.”
Bryan chuckles. “You didn’t answer my question,” he points out. “Why didn’t you answer Kourt?”
He caught that.
“How do we define us, Bryan? Is there an us?”
His cell phone rings and he shifts away. “Hawk.”
“Kimberly took the bait,” someone shouts.
Who’s Kimberly?
“Give me a minute.” He ends the call, untangling his body from mine. I watch as he scoots to the edge of the bed to puts back on his shoes.
“Can we finish this conversation later?” he asks, tying the laces. “I need to take care of something.”
I crawl to him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and gently hug him. He stops for a moment. His hand squeezes mine.
“You and Kourt are here. We can go as slowly as you need. But I will kiss you in front of our girls, so come up with a definition for us.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
Kourtney and Emma hold each other like they’ll never see one another again. The two became close in their short time together.
“You girls will get to hang out during the break,” I tell them.
“You promise, Mommy?”
“I promise.”
Over my heart, I draw a cross with my finger, something Kourtney and I do to show we’ll keep our word. I turn to Emma and kiss her cheek “We’ll see you later, sweetie.” I hug Marie. “Thank you for taking care of us.”
“You’re welcome, dear. Call us if you need anything.”
I make sure Kourtney buckles up in the back before climbing into the passenger seat. Willis reverses out of the driveway while Marie and Emma wave goodbye.
Kourtney cries the entire ride to our apartment. I have to admit I already miss being there too.
The minute we walk through the door of our apartment, she runs to her room.
The place feels small after being in Bryan’s home for three days. The house in Arizona wasn’t as large as his, but it was big enough for the two of us. Here, we’re tripping over each other. I’ve had to get creative with the limited space.
I’m happy to be home because my period started this morning. The first day is always the worst for me.
Kourtney sulks around most of the afternoon while I do laundry and clean. She straightens her room, works on the winter-break homework packet, and waters the plants. The only time she’s this quiet is when something’s bothering her.
Early evening, I find her lying on the bed, holding Mr. Cuddles.
“Are you ready to talk about what’s on your mind?” I say from the doorway.
She shakes her head.
“Marie gave me a list of fun places to visit. How about you look them up and decide where you want to go?”
Kourtney frowns. “Okay.”
“The list is sitting next to my laptop.”
She drags herself out of bed.
Over dinner Kourtney hands me two sheets of paper. I unfold the first sheet. Smiley faces show her favorite destinations. “What’s this?” I ask, waving the second sheet.
“It’s for Santa. Can we mail it tomorrow?”
“Sure, but when did you start making a Christmas list?”
“It’s not just mine.” She pushes away from the table. “I’m done eating. May I go to my room?”
I nod and unfold the paper.
Emmy, Kourty and Penny’s Christmas List. Item number one, a dog.
I take my cell phone off the charger to snap a picture of the list and send it to Bryan and Max, along with my vetoed items, the dog being first. Our apartment is too small for an animal.
The next morning, we leave early to explore Boulder and the surrounding cities, choosing not to use GPS. We get lost and find our way and get lost again.
It turns out to be a good day.
“May I call Emmy?” Kourtney asks before I can get the door open.
“You may call her while I cook dinner.”
“What’s for dinner?”
I brace myself. She looks so much like her dad when she smiles like that. “What do you have a taste for?”
“Marie’s chicken noodle soup,” she giggles.
Lucky for me, I know my daughter and try to stay a step ahead. “Marie gave me a container of soup before we left yesterday.”
Kourtney’s lips tighten. She holds out her hand. “Can I call my best friend now?”
I hand her the phone and walk away patting myself on the back. There’s also a container of chicken stew in the freezer too.
I do a victory dance while I warm up the soup, make sandwiches, and toss a salad.
On my way to the bathroom, I pass Kourtney’s open door. She’s whispering.
“He is my mom’s boyfriend.”
I knock on the door, pretending I didn’t hear anything. “Dinner’s ready, Kourt. Tell Emm you’ll call her tomorrow.”
She and I need to have a conversation about my relationship with Bryan soon.
A few days pass. Bryan and Emma stop by and stay for dinner. If someone were to look through the window, they would think we were a family.
“Dad, can Kourty spend the night?”
“Yes, if it’s okay with Dani.”
“Please, Mommy. I miss Emmy.”
The girls lean their heads together, poking out their bottom lips, batting their eyelashes to plead their case.
“Yes, you can spend the night. Go pack your bag.” I couldn’t say no.
“Come help me, Emmy.” The girls jump
up from the table.
“Wait,” I tell them.
Using my napkin, I wipe spaghetti sauce from the corners of Emma’s mouth.
They run to Kourtney’s room.
“Don’t forget your toothbrush,” I say.
Bryan helps me clear the table.
“Let’s go out for drinks.”
“What about the girls?”
“We’ve earned a grownup’s night out. Marie will watch them. Let me take you out, Dani.”
“Give me twenty minutes to change.”
“Take your time. I got this.” He gestures to the dishes in the sink and the pots on the stove top.”
I head to the bathroom to freshen up, then dash across the hall with a towel wrapped around me.
Bryan and the girls are in the living room with the television turned up loud, laughing at whoever’s on the screen.
Rummaging through my drawer, I choose a gray lace thong with the matching bra. In my cramped closet, my hand touches the hanger holding a grape-colored jumpsuit, but the peacock blue knit sweater dress catches my eye. I take if off the hanger and match it with gray, high-heeled boots.
From my jewelry box, I select platinum hoop earrings.
I pull my hair into a messy bun. The bruise on my cheek is fading, but the one on my forehead is still purple and blue. I cover them with makeup and add a clear gloss to my lips. Releasing my hair from the bun, I run the flatiron over it.
Smiling at the image in the full-length mirror, I admire what I see. Max coaxed me into buying this dress the day we went shopping on my lunch hour.
I grab my purse and turn off the light in my room, the bathroom, and Kourtney’s room. No one notices me standing in the living room until I pick up the remote and turn off the television.
“Wow, Mom. You look beautiful.”
I smile toward my daughter, but my eyes stay on Bryan. The gleam in his eyes says it all.
***
The girls chat in the backseat of Bryan’s Chevy Silverado. I watch the scenery as we pass by, and a sense of melancholy drifts through me. He reaches over to take my hand.
“What are you thinking about?” he asks.
“Kourtney’s never wanted to spend the night at a friend’s house.” I glance back at her. It occurs to me: Mr. Cuddles isn’t with her. “I’m happy she has Emma, but I wasn’t expecting to feel gloomy.”
