She moved backwards, feeling that same wetness, and stared in disbelief at the broken condom that was still wrapped around the base of my cock.
“Shit,” she said, scrambling off me.
My come leaked down the inside of her thigh, and my cock started to harden once again, despite having just come so hard that here couldn’t possibly be anything else for me to give.
The sight of it…of me…leaking out of her was so fucking erotic that I had to tamp down the urge to pull her back onto my lap.
“I’m not on the pill,” she said.
I nodded, trying not to think about what she’d look like swollen with my child.
“They have Plan B at the CVS,” I said, hoping that didn’t sound as unenthusiastic to her as it did to me.
I didn’t want her to take it.
Shit, but just the idea of a child with her was breathtaking.
“Yeah,” she said. “That’s a good idea.”
I knew she didn’t want another baby right then.
Not so soon after losing Colt just a few short months ago.
“Okay,” I said, standing up and removing what remained of the condom. “We can stop by there on the way home from Jack’s.”
She blinked at me.
“Why Jack’s?” She asked. “I thought we were going out to the pumpkin farm today?”
“We can still do that,” I said. “But I have to tell my brother that I plan on going out for the SWAT team. If he hears it from someone else, and he will, then I’ll never hear the fucking end of it.”
She nodded, and we both left to clean up.
We never did make it to the pharmacy.
Because something terrible happened.
And a pill was the very last thing on our minds.
Chapter 19
One day someone’s going to hold you so tight that you will no longer feel broken.
-Tai to Mia
Tai
“You can’t fucking be serious,” Jack growled in frustration.
I crossed my arms over my chest and studied my brother.
I’d just told him my intentions to join the SWAT team as the tactical medic, and he’d promptly lost his mind.
My brother was protective. And he hated that he couldn’t dictate how I should live my life.
Mia sat in the corner of the couch, showing Cati her phone as she pretended not to listen.
I knew she was listening.
Mostly by the way her scowl ripped into my brother’s back as he sat glaring at me with his hands on his knees.
“I’m serious,” I said. “Luke asked me, and I said I’d try out tomorrow with the rest of the guys.”
Jack’s lips thinned.
“You’re going to get hurt,” he snapped.
I sighed.
“I could,” I agreed. “But I also want to do it.”
Jack burst out of his seat and started to pace the length of his living room.
Winter watched her husband pace from her spot in the recliner, not saying a word throughout the entire encounter.
I watched my brother pace, wondering what he was thinking.
He was never one who liked change.
He hated that I had been a shit head kid who got himself into dangerous situations, and hated that he hadn’t been able to protect me, mostly from myself. And now, he hated that I was a firefighter.
This was my brother, though. An always over-reacting, sometimes smothering bastard, but a loving older brother, nonetheless
He was mine, and whether he liked it or not, he was going to have to get over the fact that I was doing this.
And I knew he would.
He wouldn’t like it, but he’d eventually accept it.
He finally stopped his pacing and turned his eyes to me as he stood in front of me.
“You’ll let me help you train,” he ordered firmly.
I nodded.
And I would, too.
I had never been in the military.
I also had never been a cop.
But I was good with a weapon, and I did have some specialized training. I was proficient in Krav Maga and Jiu Jitsu, and I practiced hand-to-hand combat techniques with some of the guys at my gym once a week. So it wasn’t like I was naïvely going into this without any sort of training whatsoever, bringing only my skills as a medic to the table.
But my brother’s skills and knowledge were more extensive, so I’d be a fool not to take him up on his offer of training.
And I appreciated the fact that he was obviously working through his worry, as evidenced by his offer of assistance instead of attempting to talk me out of it.
“You’ll go with me to train at the shooting range, too,” he said.
I raised my brow at him.
“We do that every weekend, already.” I said.
We had a standing appointment every other Sunday morning, and if I was working on a Sunday, then we went on Saturday.
Never fail, rain or shine. He had me out there, and I went because I liked to hang out with my brother.
Jack glared at me.
“You do realize, right,” Winter said, finally interjecting with her input, “that Tai is twenty-eight-years-old.”
Jack tossed her a glare, too.
Winter grinned.
“Actually,” I said. “As of tomorrow afternoon at 1:21 PM, I’ll be a twenty-nine-year-old-man.”
Mia gasped, causing us all to look at her.
“You didn’t tell me tomorrow was your birthday,” she accused.
I opened my mouth to apologize, but she bounced up on her toes.
“Tomorrow’s my birthday, too!” She squealed.
I laughed as she bounced on her toes towards me, acting much younger than the nearly twenty-eight-year-old, woman that I knew her to be.
I scooped her up in my arms and hauled her to me.
I swung her around and set her down on her feet with a laugh on her lips.
“Me next, Uncle Tai!” Adam screeched in that high-pitched squeal only a three-year-old could hit.
Mia froze, the smile sliding from her face as I picked up Adam and turned to her.
“Mia?” I asked her.
She was lost in her own little world, however, as her eyes filled with tears.
I pulled her into my side, pressing my lips to her forehead.
I could feel the cautious gazes of both Jack and Winter, and I looked up at them to see their own private hell filling up their own faces.
Jack and Winter had lost two children, miscarriages, in their time together.
Cati was supposed to be a twin, but they’d lost the second baby in utero, leaving Cati to be brought into this world alone.
They’d also lost a baby early on in their relationship that I still didn’t know much about.
Mia took a shuddering breath as Adam leaned down and rested his head on top of hers, and whatever memory it was that had a hold on her let go.
“You okay?” I asked her.
She nodded, dislodging Adam’s head as she did.
She looked up, giving Adam a tremulous smile, and he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead, much the same as I had done only moments before.
“I wuve you, Ia,” Adam said in his sweet little cherub voice.
Mia’s smile nearly blinded me.
“I love you too, Adam.”
Jack laughed at something Winter said, but it was a series of words coming from the police scanner that had my attention right then.
I passed Adam over to Mia as I walked closer to the police scanner on the table in the corner of the room.
“Tai?” Mia asked.
I held up my hand and turned the volume up on the scanner.
“Hit and run on Main Street,” the dispatcher, Merry, said. “White 1957 Ford Pickup. Thirty-five-year-old male,” she continued. “Nurse on scene says that the male has extensive injuries and recommends Life Flight.”
“Shit,” I said, standing up and listening as the report came ove
r the scanner. “Shit!”
“Tai!” Mia cried. “What’s wrong?”
“Stay here. I’ll come back for you,” I said quickly, running out to my truck without looking back.
I didn’t let it sink in right away.
The drive to the intersection was easy until about fifty yards before the light.
I pulled my truck into the first available parking lot, a McDonald’s, and ran.
And I prayed it wasn’t who I knew it would be.
But as I got closer and got my first good look at the truck, I knew I wasn’t going to be lucky.
A few officers were busy clearing a parking lot of all the cars, and I knew it was to make room for the Life Flight helicopter to land.
I was breathing too hard when I got to the police line that was being held by Downy.
He made eye contact with me, and I felt my heart leap into my throat.
“What happened?” I asked as I turned my eyes back to the scene.
“Hit and run,” Downy said solemnly.
He knew, too.
Everyone would.
It was the truck.
There wasn’t another one around that was anything like it.
It was Fatbaby.
Fatbaby had been involved in a hit and run on the main drag in town.
Fatbaby…Aaron…he was either gravely injured or near death if they were calling Life Flight in.
“Jesus,” I said.
The sound of boots on the pavement sounded behind me and I clenched my fists as the A shift team started to use the jaws of life on Fatbaby’s restored, mint condition, truck.
“No,” PD said, devastation clear in his voice.
I shook my head, fighting the urge to go up there and offer my help.
Someone approached me on my other side, and I looked down at their hands, knowing instantly that it was Bowe.
He’d heard, too.
My breathing quickened as I prayed that Fatbaby would be okay.
Because if I was being honest, it wasn’t looking so good.
Those were my last thoughts…before the truck exploded.
Chapter 20
Sorrow. It never goes away. All you can do is act like it’s fixed, when in reality all you’ve done is put a tiny Band-Aid over a gaping, bleeding hole that’ll never be repaired.
-Fact of Life
Mia
My stomach hurt.
My head hurt.
My heart hurt.
I was devastated.
Everyone was devastated.
The waiting room of Kilgore Memorial Hospital was jam packed with on and off duty firefighters, police officers, paramedics and dispatchers as well as nurses, and Fatbaby’s family and friends.
There wasn’t a single empty seat on the entire first floor of the hospital.
I walked carefully over to Tai and offered him a coffee from my cup holder.
He took one, and I moved on to the next man, PD.
He took one, too, giving me a nod of thanks.
I continued that until I caught up with Winter who’d been offering drinks to the guys as well.
There wasn’t enough coffee.
Not anywhere near enough coffee.
I tossed the paper holder into the trash and looked at Tai.
Tai’s eyes were cloudy as he looked over at Fatbaby’s wife.
She was acting inconsolable.
And maybe she was.
But I couldn’t kick the feeling that she wasn’t being genuine.
I would definitely be inconsolable had the same thing happened to Tai, but she was acting…strangely.
I couldn’t put my finger on it.
“I can’t find his ring!” She cried frantically as she combed through the bag of his personal effects that the nurse had just handed her. “Where is it?”
I looked down at my hand as Chief Allen walked over to Lynn Sims and patted her lightly on the shoulder.
Nobody liked her, something that was glaringly obvious when none of the men went to her or were consoling her.
Had that been anyone else, any other member of KFD’s wife or girlfriend, the guys would have had her surrounded, offering her what comfort and support they could.
One of their own had nearly died. He still could die.
And they didn’t offer her anything other than a few words.
A paramedic walked into the room and Tai pushed off the wall he’d been holding up and stopped in front of him.
I’d never seen this paramedic before.
He must’ve been on A-shift, because I knew everyone on the other two shifts.
He spoke very softly, then Tai’s eyes shifted to Lynn before shifting back turning to look at the wall.
His jaw tightened.
The paramedic said something else, and I was momentarily distracted.
“Hey,” a male voice said.
I looked up to find Jack staring down into my eyes.
“Yeah?” I asked softly.
“He’s going to need you tonight,” he said. “I was going to ask him to stay with me, but I know he’ll say no. You need to make sure you stay with him.” It wasn’t so much a request as much as it was an order, and it didn’t bother me in the least.
In fact, it warmed my heart to know how much Jack loved his brother and how he wanted him to have someone taking care of him.
“I will,” I promised, even though I’d been planning to stay with him whether he wanted me to or not.
Hours later, we finally made it through the front door of his house.
He hadn’t said a word since we’d left the hospital.
His eyes were haunted, though.
“You want to take a shower with me?” I asked softly.
He shook his head.
“I need to make a few calls,” he said, sending me on my way without another glance in my direction.
I left him there to make his calls, heading into his bedroom first and then to his bathroom.
I took a nice long shower, hoping he’d join me. Sadly, he never did.
When I got out, I realized why he didn’t when I heard the voices coming from the front of the house
I peeked out and sighed when I saw Luke, Nico, Downy, Michael and two other men whose names I couldn’t recall.
Closing the door quietly, I gave them the privacy I was sure he wanted for that conversation.
Laying down on the crisp white sheets of Tai’s bed, I shoved my face in his pillow, inhaling his scent, as I closed my eyes, letting the darkness of a dreamless sleep take me away from the horror of the day and the memories they brought up for me.
I don’t know how long he’d been in bed before his movements woke me, but by the amount of sweat soaking the sheets around the hot body at my side, it’d been a while.
Tai was thrashing in his sleep, whispering something over and over that I couldn’t quite make out.
I lifted up on my elbows to look at him.
The light from the alarm clock at his side cast an eerie green glow on his face, and I ran the tips of my fingers down his cheek.
“Tai,” I said softly.
He jerked awake like I’d pinched him instead of saying his name.
“What?” He said breathlessly.
“You were having a nightmare,” I said softly.
His eyes closed again, and he turned to face me.
“I always have nightmares,” he said softly.
I hadn’t slept with him overnight before.
In fact, this was the first night I’d ever spent in another man’s bed.
Acting on instinct, I moved towards him.
He caught me up to his chest and turned us so we were face-to-face, my body pressed up along the length of his.
“What was your nightmare about?” I asked softly, running the tip of my nose along the bridge of his.
He let me go and sat up, glancing at the clock as he did.
4:43 AM.
He sat on the side of the bed with his legs slightly spread and his
feet flat on the floor, and he leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees as he dropped his head into his hands.
His pose was defeated.
And sad.
My heart hurt for him.
I got up on my knees and scooted to sit behind him, sliding each of my thighs along the outside of his, as I threaded my arms under his to wrap them around his chest.
His bare back was like a heated blanket against my front.
His muscles tensed when I wrapped around him, but relaxed only moments after that.
I placed a kiss on his shoulder, then another one on his neck, following up with a final one on the scruff of his bearded jaw.
The beard was new. He’d always had the goatee, but the rest of his face was clean-shaven.
“I like your beard,” I told him.
He growled.
“I do, too. But I can’t have a full beard because my respirator doesn’t seal against my face correctly with one,” he replied.
“That’s a shame,” I said softly. If I couldn’t get him to tell me about his nightmares, maybe I could take his mind off of them. “I’d like to feel your beard against the insides of my thighs. Running up the smooth, sensitive skin and giving me a beard burn. I hear those are fun.”
One of his arms wrapped around my back, and suddenly I found myself yanked around so my back was now pressed to his front.
He had me in a bear hug as the beard in question rubbed along the smooth skin of my neck.
“You want me to show you what I can do with my beard?” He asked in a rough voice that sent shivers down my spine.
But he didn’t do all that much with said beard other than to run it and his lips up and down the length of my neck and shoulders.
One hand went down to free his erection, while the other went to my panties and ripped them free of my body.
I was surprised with how easily they tore.
I thought they were made of sturdier stuff.
Or maybe Tai just had the strength of The Hulk.
Regardless, I was now naked from the waist down.
Tai’s thick fingers burrowed as deep into my pussy as they could, causing me to gasp in surprise at the intrusion.
Despite my surprise at how quickly he’d turned the tables on me, I found myself moving my hips in time with his fingers.
Shock Advised (Kilgore Fire #1) Page 17
