Instead of eating, I was stealing glances at his handsome face, wondering if I’d get another good night kiss.
Which, to my surprise and delight, I did.
It left me floating up to bed, my lips tingling. Me, dreaming of our stolen moments in the barn. Our sweaty bodies tangled together.
Yesterday we made our rounds around town, double-checking the winterizing efforts of the ranch staff. Then, we visited the Senior Center. I played piano and sang. Afterwards, the Senior Center Choir told me they had a surprise for me. They kicked me off the piano, Ms. Tabor taking my seat on the bench, and they sang me their own little song. It was an old song about two young lovers and the sweetness they found in their reunion after being separated for some time.
I’ve never blushed so hard. Buck gave me this funny look out of the corner of his eye, like he didn’t mind it so much.
I guess we are two young lovers being reunited. And the entire town knows it.
And…it’s been wonderful.
Last night after dinner, I walked him to my door, same as always. And he leaned in for that sweet goodnight kiss as he’s been doing. But there was something more behind our lip lock. I could feel it, bubbling to the surface.
Passion, desire, and a history tainted by what ifs.
I fell asleep wondering. Aching. Remembering how it felt to be with him.
Today is Friday. The snow just started falling in the city. I’m standing on my stoop, anxiously waiting for that big red truck to make its way up my driveway. I swear, just hearing the engine and knowing I’m only minutes away from seeing him gets my blood rushing.
Everywhere.
The storm is predicted to make its way to us by tomorrow night. The elders have moved our Saturday Supper to brunch, getting in one last gathering before we all hunker down for a few days.
I can’t help the twinge in my chest at the thought of not seeing Buck for a few days while we are snowed in. I’ve been working with him all day and dining with him every evening this week. Evenings at the Castle just won’t be the same without him sitting across from me while I spend my time stealing glances at him that make my heart flutter.
All the while, anticipating my goodnight kiss.
I shake the thought from my mind, stomping my feet in my boots to warm me.
I’m waiting on the front stoop, my down coat zipped up tight, a hat over my head, a scarf around my neck, and gloves. Bundled up just as instructed. Today, we will be going down to the barn to be sure all the animals are prepared for the drop in temperatures. We’ll oversee the cleaning of stalls, make sure their food stores are well stocked, put out extra buckets of water, their warmers turned up to keep them from freezing into blocks of ice.
All the young singles will go to the Hall to prep the tables and chairs for the Brunch. I’ll finally get a chance to see Jules—I’ve been so busy prepping the town for the storm I haven’t even seen her since we arrived. Just one time our paths crossed on the sidewalk and she whispered something to me about working on a ‘secret project’.
I wonder what on Earth she’s up to? Probably some do-gooder activity like knitting scarves to warm the townspeople. Going house to house making sure everyone has their supplies in order. Turning their cans of soup on their shelves so the labels face out, the cans lined perfectly behind one another like little soldiers.
I hear his truck before I see it. When the dusty red paint comes into view, I feel my heartbeat pick up pace. Every morning when he arrives, I’m instantly thrown back to that brief period we dated. He’d pick me up. We’d wander the town. Hang out on the ranch. Ride horses, pack picnics. Make love in the hayloft or on the shaded banks of the creek.
The barn.
I press my thighs together, attempting to get my climbing libido under control.
Seems damn near impossible these days.
His truck pulls up to the bottom of the stairs. He rolls down the window. “What are you doing waiting out here? You should be inside. It’s freezing. Get in.”
“I just needed some fresh air.” I jog down the stairs. Pull open the heavy door of the truck. Climb in.
I’m hit with the masculine, woodsy scent that can only be described with one word.
Cowboy.
I give him a smile, willing my racing heart to slow as I climb into the truck. The heater is on high, warming the cab to a toasty temperature.
“It’s too hot in here,” I say, cranking it down.
“Didn’t want you to be cold,” he says, eyeing me for a moment. “You look…pretty.”
Luckily, my cheeks are red from the cold, so they don’t give away the blush I feel creeping in from his lingering gaze. “Thanks. Where are we off to, first?”
“Barns. I want to be sure the heaters I installed are working right before it gets much colder.”
“Sounds good.” We make our way to the back of town where the ranch is. The snow is falling lightly. It barely covers the grass, a light coating dusting the fields. The flakes come down, melting on the windshield. “It looks like we’re in a snow globe.”
“Prettiest place on Earth.”
For once, I don’t argue with him.
We pull up to the barn, hop out of the truck, and walk over the gravel drive, our boots pressing through the white powder, leaving prints trailing behind us. He opens the huge wooden door and we step in quickly, keeping the cold air out.
The familiar scent of horses and clean hay hits me. Making my knees feel weak. All the memories of growing up, riding these magnificent beasts. Later, rolling in the hay with Buck.
They all come back at once.
I see my favorite mare, Old Bessie, and run to her. “How are you, darling?” I ask her as I stroke her soft ears. She gives me a whinny and a nuzzle with her warm, damp snout, politely demanding a ride. It makes me laugh, childlike wonderment bubbling in me. What is it about horses that makes me feel so light, so free? I give her a pat. “I wish I could take you out, but you’ll be much happier here where it’s warm.”
I sense Buck watching me and I turn to look his way. He’s leaned against the door of the barn, his arms crossed over his heavy denim Sherpa lined jacket. His hair is tucked behind his ears, one unruly strand falling over his eye, just as rugged and handsome as ever. He’s got one long leg crossed over the other, his foot resting on the toe of his worn boot.
Boots that are as familiar to me as my own.
His gaze is heavy. Full of history.
Ours.
I hold his eyes for a second too long and the memories take hold of me. My chest wells. My throat feels tight. I’m awash with emotions and I almost want to cry for what we’ve lost. A deep heaviness rests in me as I look away.
What have I gained by leaving this place?
I’ve no real friends other than Jules. No boyfriend. No horses. No older generation to warm me with their smiles for my songs.
No real purpose.
I’ve lost countless hours with my father.
And…Buck.
Everything that meant anything to me was here, right in Cedar Creek, all along.
I press the backs of my hands to my eyes, holding back the tears that are threatening to fall. I give Ole Bessie one more pet. Turn my back to Buck so he can’t see my face. “I’ll start getting the fresh hay in the wheelbarrow.” My voice cracks as I speak.
I walk quickly, trying to put some distance between he and I for fear I’ll begin sobbing. I’m halfway to the back of the barn where the hay bales are when I feel him grab my arm.
“Ava Marie? You alright?”
When I turn to face him, I feel the tears welling in my eyes and I know he can see them shining. I bite my bottom lip, nodding. Then shake my head. Then nod again. I don’t know what to say and I’m afraid if I say anything at all the brimming tears will become a waterfall and I’ve already cried in front of him once on this trip and…why the hell am I so emotional all the time since I’ve been back? “I…I’m…fine!” And with that, I’m bursting into tears.
His arms are around me. He’s smoothing my hair down my back. Stroking the backs of my arms. Whispering sweet words to me that I know I don’t deserve to hear. “Shh, you’re all right sweetheart. You’re all right. Everything’s going to be just fine.”
But it’s not. Because ever since I’ve come back, there’s been a giant cowboy-sized hole gaping in my heart. I wipe the silly tears from my eyes, shaking my head. “It’s not fine.”
He’s stroking my hair back from my face. Tucking a loose strand behind my ear. His hands linger by my face. And now they’re cupping the sides of my cheeks ever so gently and I’m tilting my gaze up to face his.
His blue-green eyes travel deep into my soul. Reading my thoughts, my feelings. A connectedness twines us together, one created just by the locking of our gazes. He’s always been able to read me like no one else could. His hands stay on my face, warm and big and protective.
My eyes close and he pulls my face towards his.
I lose myself in his kiss.
The gaping wound of two years’ time apart closes with this single kiss.
Suddenly, his comforting embrace turns into a passionate one. I feel that familiar hum in my core. One that’s not been woken this intensely…not since him.
I’m lost in his touch, our connection. My head feels light, dizzy almost, as his lips slightly part, the tip of his tongue entering my mouth. A warm, blanket of desire covers me as he explores my mouth.
He tastes of mint and salt and man.
His hand travels to the back of my neck, tangling in my hair and bringing me closer to him. His other hand trails down, his palm flattening against my lower back, pulling my hips against him.
The move is possessive. Claiming ownership over my body. He’s always handled his passion with a confidence second to none. One that makes a woman swoon at his feet, pleading for him to take her however he wants to.
I reach my arms up, winding my hands around his neck. Tugging at the soft strands of his hair. It’s different from before, longer, sexier, more rugged. I find just running my hands through it is making me want him even more.
The barn is warm, dry. Home. A safe place.
A place to revisit old flames. A place to make mistakes.
Is this a mistake?
My mind has trouble focusing on my thoughts. My heart wins out over my brain. The tingling in my body takes all my attention.
We continue to kiss, the movement becoming fevered. His hands are on the zipper of my coat, tugging it down and pushing my arms free from it. It drops to the ground. He pulls away from our embrace, removing his own coat as he looks me over with a gaze that burns hot as fire.
How far will this go?
His mouth is back on mine, his fingers expertly unbuttoning my flannel shirt. I return the favor, unbuttoning his until it opens and my hands are caressing the smooth, warm flesh of his muscled chest.
It’s been so long since I’ve seen him like this…bare, raw.
I run my hand over his smooth stomach. His toned abs come from an honest long hard day of work—not a two-hundred-dollar a month gym membership. Somehow, that fact fuels my desire. Bringing me back to my roots. Rough and tumble cowboy loving.
There’s something so sexy about having a real-life cowboy in your hands—there’s nothing quite like it in this world.
He’s caressing my breasts. Kneading and palming them until my nipples are peaked and straining against the fabric of my bra. I long for him to take them in his mouth, sucking and biting each one in turn.
Marking them as his.
He reads my mind, taking my breast in his hands. Tugging down the cup of my bra and licking, then sucking, my hard bud. His hot mouth finds the flesh at the top of my breast, kissing it fiercely.
I wonder if I’ll have tiny bruises from his kisses tomorrow—reminders of him. I used to find them on the back of my neck, my clavicle, my breasts, my hips. Artfully hidden from view of my father but a clear message to me; you’re mine.
I hope so because this all feels so good, it’s like a dream. One I’m not sure I’ll believe happened when it’s over. I’d love to have a reminder.
Our shirts fall to the ground. His hands find my hips, lifting me and carrying me over to the soft bales of hay. He sits down, pulling me over till I’m straddling his lap. I can feel his cock hardening beneath me, pressing between my legs and I let out a soft moan as my hips grind into his.
I want him so badly. I want to beg, to make him promise this thing between us is going to be seen through to the end. But I know I broke his heart. I have no right to ask for more of him than he’s already giving me.
But now he’s kissing me again. It’s a needy kiss, demanding every ounce of my attention, my caresses. My arms wind around his broad shoulders, my fingertips digging into his skin. He finds the clasp of my bra. Unhooking it and freeing my breasts. I move my arms though the straps, eager to be free of the undergarment. My arms go back around him, my bare breast press against his chest.
The heat of our skin melds.
There’s no turning back, now.
I can’t stop this. I don’t want to even if I could. As soon as I feel his skin against mine, I know this is what I need—he is what I need. My body is alive. I feel fully myself once more, not even knowing until this moment that I had lost myself.
He’s making me whole again.
His kisses demand all my attention, making my mind feel cloudy, floating above this barn. His hand finds my breast. He’s taking my sensitive nipple between his fingers, pinching as he kisses me harder.
It sets me on fire, the pulsing thrum between my legs demanding relief. His hand winds round my hair, tugging it from the back of my neck as his punishing kisses continue, those aggressive fingers of his further pinching and teasing my hard nipples.
His mouth leaves mine. He tugs my hair again and it hurts so good. I lean my head back, giving him access to my neck. He kisses and sucks and bites his way down to my clavicle, nipping at it.
Marking me as I hoped he would.
His kisses move to my breasts. I lean back, my hands holding onto his shoulders and I watch as he takes one in his mouth. The look on his face is my undoing—his eyes closed, almost as if he’s praying as he reverently sucks on my peaked bud. I cry out with pleasure, the heady feeling of his mouth around my nipple traveling all the way through my body.
My pussy pulses, hot and needy. It gushes in my panties, ready and slick with arousal.
I need relief. Now. I reach down, unbuckling his belt.
His hand stops me, his eyes locking on mine. “You sure about this, babygirl?”
His words swirl in my mind. I don’t know if we should be doing this but I’m sure of one thing—I need him inside of me. “I want you. I’ve never been surer of anything in my life.” I kick off my boots to prove it.
He flashes me a wicked grin, lifting me up and standing me on the ground before him. I stare down, bare breasted, my hair falling over my shoulders and watch as he unbuttons my jeans. Pushing them down over my hips, my bottom, my thighs, and onto the floor. I’m standing before him in nothing but my white cotton panties. He’s still sitting on the bale of hay.
It feels strange, surreal, to be so exposed to him after all this time. I wonder if my body has changed. If I still look as beautiful to him as he always made me feel.
As if he’s answering my question, he grabs my hips, pulling me into him until I’m standing between his hard thighs, my stomach almost touching face. He kisses my belly. His hands slide from my hips to my ass. He cups it, caressing it. Gives it one of those stinging little slaps I’ve missed so much. He breaths, “Could you be more beautiful, Ava Marie?”
I wind my hands in his hair, stroking, sighing.
His fingers wander underneath the elastic bands of my panties. Slipping under the fabric. Now he’s caressing my bare ass. Squeezing the hot spot he spanked. Driving me wild. His kisses move from my belly, downwards. As his head bends down, my fingers travel down his n
eck, lightly scratching his back.
I know my nails will dig deeper in the throes of passion. Marking his skin as he’s marked mine.
His mouth is on my mound, over my panties, placing a gentle, chaste kiss there.
It’s a tease. My body is begging for him to go further. Kiss me between my legs and make me cry out his name. I throw my head back, moaning with desire as he kisses harder, his lips pressing over the fabric, against the swollen bud of my aching clit.
I’m so wet my panties are soaked. He must be able to smell the scent of my arousal, my readiness for his cock to be buried deep, deep within me. He stops his intimate kisses and I’m left panting, wanting to beg for his touch to continue.
He slides his hands from my bottom, bringing them to the waistband of my panties. Slowly, ever so slowly, he rolls them down my hips. His gaze lingering on the smooth lips of my pussy as he exposes it. He tugs the panties down my thighs, and they fall to my feet. I kick them off to the side.
Now I’m completely nude. I should feel shame, worry, regret. I feel none of those. I feel beautiful, strong, sexy. And ready to have him inside of me. For us to reunite as one, come together and rock our bodies until we have satisfied this craving.
He softly strokes my back, my hips, my bottom. He’s gazing up at me, that familiar look of lust in his eyes. He says, “You want to know something?”
“What?” I ask, barely breathing, so ready for him.
“I never did date anyone after you.” His gaze holds mine. His words sink in, making my heart thump against my ribcage. I can barely believe what he’s said.
He’s not been with anyone since me.
Before I can respond, his mouth is on my bare pussy. Kissing. Licking. The tip of his tongue dipping between my lips and licking my clit, sending a tidal wave of pleasure through my body. He’s grabbing my ass, fingertips digging into my flesh as he tastes me.
I’m grabbing his shoulders to hold me steady as I drift into a world of only sensation and pleasure. Memories of us wander through my mind as the pressure builds within my core.
Will he take me all the way?
“Please don’t stop,” I moan. I grab him tighter as I my pussy tightens, clenching. His tongue lashes my clit. His fingers slip inside me and I lose my mind. My slick sheath tightens around him. He’s pumping inside me with his finger, stimulating my swollen clit with his tongue.
Tamed by Her Cowboy Page 10
