by Jen Gilroy
He straightened and let out a shallow sigh. Maggie had been his first and forever love. But maybe the friendship, caring, comfort, and a bone-deep sense of closeness, all mixed with the unexpected but sizzling sexual attraction he had with Cat, would be enough. Lots of couples made a life together with less. It might not be the quiet life he’d first planned, but it would be better because Cat and Amy would be in it.
Cat would understand why he didn’t want kids. She already had Amy, and she’d never said she wanted another baby. In time, Amy could be his kid and he’d be the best dad he could to her. As soon as Cat agreed to marry him, they’d be a family, and nobody in Firefly Lake would dare talk about her or why he was coaching Amy. He’d give them both everything he had. His loyalty and devotion, as well as all the security and stability money could buy.
Cat could even help decorate his house so it was her house, too. Although they’d never talked about it, most women liked choosing paint colors, curtains, and all the rest of it. Luc lay back on the pillows and tucked his hands behind his head. He’d give Cat a few days for the excitement of her mom’s wedding to subside before he talked to her. He’d invite her out to the house and ask her to share his life. He wouldn’t buy her a ring because she was a woman who’d want to have a say in choosing her own ring, but as soon as she said yes, they could start planning.
It was the perfect solution. Cat was as practical as he was, and neither of them was a starry-eyed teen caught up in the first flush of love. Heat radiated through his chest. Love. The word hit him with the force of a puck to the head. Was it love that he felt for Cat? His body shook and his mouth went dry. He’d only known love once before, and this feeling was different than what he’d experienced with Maggie.
But it must be love because it felt right and, for the first time in more than two years, Luc was truly content. Laughter drifted up from the party downstairs and he smiled. He had a good plan, a sensible plan. Nothing could possibly go wrong.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Cat drove through the wrought-iron gates that marked the entrance to Luc’s house and continued along a gravel driveway between two rows of century-old maple trees. The drive curved into old-growth forest before it widened out near the lake, where the house was tucked into a small bay. Cat parked beside Luc’s truck in front of the house. Apart from Amy’s coaching session, she’d managed to avoid him in the four days since her mom’s wedding. All she had to do now was show him a few quilts, like Michael had asked her to, and then she could leave. For the money Luc was prepared to spend, Michael had insisted she make a personal visit.
She levered the heavy quilt box from the trunk and picked her way across the icy path to the house. It was vintage New England architecture, with a rambling front porch and white clapboard frame, but modern too, with the triple garage off to one side and floor-to-ceiling windows bare and waiting for the decorator’s touch. Although patches of snow still lingered, the air was soft and warmer than it had been for months. Water dripped from the bare branches of the trees clustered by the porch.
She had to tell Luc about the baby, but how? Maybe once she’d seen a doctor it would be easier to find the words. As she raised her hand to a brass knocker shaped like a moose, the front door swung open and Luc stood on the other side.
“Here, let me.” He took the box out of her arms and gestured her inside.
“Thanks.” She stepped into the hall. He was so big, but she was small. If this baby took after him, she might be in trouble. She pulled off her wet boots and left them on the tray in the empty hall that still smelled of wood and fresh paint.
“I don’t have any furniture yet.” Luc gave her a half smile as he took her coat and draped it over the carved banister that led to the upper floor. He wore faded jeans and a flannel shirt the same blue as his eyes.
Cat swallowed the lump in her throat. Would the baby have those eyes? She made herself focus on the light-painted walls and cathedral ceilings as he led her through what would be the formal living and dining rooms to the great room at the back of the house.
“It’s beautiful.” She moved to a set of French doors that opened onto another porch and overlooked Firefly Lake. Although most of the lake was still frozen, an area of open water near the shore glistened in the afternoon sun. She gestured to the left of the porch, where a big patch of muddy ground had been marked off with stakes and yellow tape. “Is that going to be a tennis court?”
“That’s the plan.” Luc’s laugh was strained and, for him, uncharacteristically nervous. He set the box on the floor by a window.
The quilts. She was here to talk about quilts, not to admire this stunning house that reminded her yet again how much money someone could earn by shooting a rubber disc across a sheet of ice. “Is this the room you want to hang a quilt in? Michael said you were interested in a statement piece.” She bent to open the box’s flaps and pulled out the edge of the top quilt, a woodland design in shades of green, blue, and brown.
“This room’s as good as any.” He crouched beside her. “I didn’t know anything about quilts or statement pieces until yesterday when I bumped into Michael at the bakery.”
“Oh.” Cat bit her bottom lip. “Well, if you choose a wall quilt as the statement piece for this room, you need to make sure your decorator sees it first to match upholstery and pillow colors. I brought three quilts in different color palettes, but if you don’t like any of them, why don’t you send your decorator into the gallery with fabric swatches? We have a lot more designs there.”
“I don’t have a decorator—yet.” He covered her hands atop the box and there was an expression in his eyes Cat had never seen there before; soft and maybe even loving. “Why don’t you choose the quilt you’d like to hang in this room?”
Cat rocked back on her heels. “It’s your house, so you need to—”
“No.” Luc took the quilt out of her hands, then eased her gently to her feet. “I want it to be your house, too. Our house. You, me, and Amy. That’s why I asked Michael if you could come out here. You seem to like quilts, so when Michael mentioned… I thought… oh hell, I’m not good with words like you are.” He tightened his grip on her hands. “I want you to make a life here with me.”
Hope mixed with giddy joy fizzed in Cat’s chest. “You mean… you want me to…” She couldn’t say the words, could hardly even think them. Luc wanted to marry her because he loved her like she loved him. Not because of the baby. He didn’t know about the baby. Shy Cat McGuire was loved by Firefly Lake’s all-American golden boy.
“I want you to marry me.” He took one of his hands away and put a tender finger to her lips. “Wait, before you say anything, I need to explain.”
A rainbow starburst erupted behind Cat’s eyes. He could explain all he wanted and, for the first time in her life, she’d be happy to be quiet and listen. Not question or analyze but accept this miracle. The embryonic baby in her stomach did a little tap dance. If she’d been anywhere else, Cat would have gone looking for the nearest bathroom, but not now.
“It makes sense, don’t you think? If we get married, we can be together like we both want and nobody will talk about us or Amy. It’s because of her and folks talking that you said we can’t see each other anymore. When your mom and Ward got married, I thought, why not? You and I are good friends, and the sex is sure great.” His blue eyes were earnest, and Cat’s excitement was doused as if he’d tossed a bucket of cold lake water over her. “We’re both heading toward forty and it’s not like we want to have a family. You already have Amy, and I… I don’t want children of my own. Amy can be my kid. I mean if that’s okay with you.” He gave her a hopeful look.
“What…” Cat licked her dry lips and her stomach lurched. Maybe she should find that bathroom after all. “Children are a big responsibility, sure, a lifelong responsibility—”
“I knew you felt the same way,” he broke in as his expression changed to one of relief. “Amy’s twelve, and now you’ve just taken on the gallery. You
wouldn’t think of having another baby. We can keep using condoms, but maybe you should go on the pill so we’re extra sure we won’t get pregnant. Or I could take care of it. I’d do that for you.”
That was like closing the barn door after the horse has bolted. One of her mémère’s favorite sayings popped into Cat’s mind like an evil imp. She’d been wrong. Luc didn’t love her. He’d never even used the word love. He liked the idea of marriage because it was convenient, and, whether he was aware of it or not, this was one more way he wanted to help her and Amy.
“I can’t marry you.” She pulled her sweaty hands out of his. She’d been afraid he’d want to marry her out of duty because of the baby, but this was much worse. Even though Luc didn’t know about it yet, he didn’t want the baby. And he only wanted her because it was practical. He didn’t want to live in this huge house all by himself. Friendship and great sex weren’t the same as love. Not even close. Anger spurted and she knelt to fumble with the quilt box.
“Why not? I thought it would be a perfect solution. You’re the most sensible woman I know. That’s one of the things I like about you. I hate it that folks talking makes you sad. I want to give you and Amy everything.” He waved his big arms. “Besides, I… I care about you so much.” His voice was gruff.
Sadness made Cat’s body heavy. He thought he could give her his heart, but it was buried with Maggie and always would be. He wanted to give her everything except what mattered most. “Marriage isn’t a business arrangement.” And she not only needed and deserved to be loved, but she loved him too much to marry him this way. She was used to the hard path, and although being a single mom was tough, it wasn’t any tougher than marrying a man who didn’t want a child, who didn’t love her.
She clutched her stomach. What if he thought she’d gotten pregnant on purpose to trap him? Or because she was after his money? Her thoughts spun as her usual clear-headedness deserted her. Or maybe it had deserted her the moment his supersonic sperm had met her egg. Pregnancy brain was real, and she had it. All she knew was she had to get out of here before she started to babble and let her heart rule her head.
“I know marriage isn’t about business. And I want to share my life with you.” His tone beseeched her.
“I’m sorry, but like I said, I can’t marry you.” She hated the coldness in her voice, but she couldn’t help it. If Luc ever guessed how she really felt, she’d be in an even bigger mess than she already was. When she couldn’t wait any longer to tell him about the baby, maybe Nick would help her. He was an attorney. Whoa. She took two steps back across the expensive wood floor. She was an independent woman and an adult. She didn’t need her big brother to fight her battles.
“But why?” The wounded expression in Luc’s eyes infiltrated her stupor and almost crushed her. “We’re good together. You and Amy would make this house a home.” His voice cracked and he turned to look out at the lake. “I thought you cared about me, too.”
She did, and they were good together, but even with the stability he was handing her on a plate, she couldn’t take the risk of getting her heart broken any more than it already was. A chill coursed through her body as a long-ago memory surfaced. She’d stood on the front porch at Harbor House, and the door of the moving van with her dad’s things had slammed shut with an awful finality.
“I want to be part of your life, kitty cat. This doesn’t have to change things much.” Her dad had smiled his special smile for her. “Don’t tell Georgia or Nick, but you’ve always been my favorite. My little princess.”
Then when she hadn’t said anything, his voice had become cajoling. “You’re a practical girl. You understand why I can’t live with your mom or in Firefly Lake, but as soon as I get settled, you can live with me and make my house a home.”
Cat blinked as her dad’s image dissipated like a wisp of lake fog. In all the years that followed, he’d never been settled and the only house she wanted to make a home was her own. Hers and Amy’s and this new baby’s. She’d count on herself like she always had. Her body was hot and it was hard to swallow.
“No matter how I feel about you, I can’t marry you.” The stilted words left a sour taste in her mouth and the nausea worsened. To break eye contact, she bent to pick up the box with the quilts, but Luc was too quick for her.
“This is heavy. I’ll take it out to your car.” His voice rasped. “I don’t want a quilt after all.”
On top of everything else, she’d lost the gallery a big sale. “I…” She pressed her lips tight together.
“It doesn’t matter.” Luc moved back through the house toward the front door. “Choose a quilt for your mom and Ward and send me the bill. Call it a wedding present. You came all the way out here.” His voice was clipped and devoid of emotion.
Cat grabbed her coat from the banister and found her boots. The coldness had moved from her voice to settle in her bones.
When Luc opened the front door for her, she clicked the remote on her keys for him to put the quilt box back in the trunk. She could get through the next few minutes, then she’d stop and call Georgia and ask her to stay longer at the gallery. Not only did she need to be away from Luc, she also needed to be alone. Her stomach somersaulted as if to remind her that because of the baby, she’d never truly be alone or apart from Luc ever again.
She followed him to the car and got into the driver’s seat, her muscles all of a sudden as stiff as an elderly woman’s. She couldn’t think about the baby right now. She couldn’t think about Luc or how much she loved him, either.
“Cat?” Outside the car his sensual mouth shaped her name.
She turned the key in the ignition and powered down the window. “Yes?”
“Drive safe.”
“I will.” She always did. As well as practical and sensible, she was careful and conscientious, especially when it came to her heart.
She started the car and pulled into the circular drive. When she glanced in the mirror, he stood watching her, his expression somber, until she turned into the curve of the road to take her back to town.
And take her back toward something she should have faced long ago. Her dad’s farewell words reverberated in her head as hot tears coursed down her face. Even though he was in faraway Nevada, her dad still loomed large over her life. She’d moved on with work, but if she wanted to move on with everything else, she had to put her dad’s desertion to rest once and for all.
Her mom was right. She had to let go of that mess of hurt and anger she carried and stop letting it shape her choices. She wasn’t the abandoned little girl she’d once been. Cat sniffed and took one hand away from the steering wheel to wipe it across her face. She was a strong, capable woman, and the security and stability her dad had taken away—the security and stability she’d searched for ever since—had been inside her all along.
Luc rounded one corner of the arena at speed. His skates threw up chipped ice, and his lungs burned as adrenaline rushed through him. He hadn’t thought it possible to feel any worse than he had when Cat turned down his marriage proposal but now, two days later, the truth was all too clear. He felt a hell of a lot worse.
“Whoa.” Nick raised a hand over the boards near the blue line.
“What?” Luc skidded to a stop.
The last thing he needed was Cat’s brother sticking his nose in. The woman had said she didn’t want to marry him. End of story.
Except, it wasn’t. Not when Cat was on his mind day and night.
“Take it easy, buddy.” Nick leaned over the boards, all corporate in his black wool coat half unbuttoned over a suit and tie.
“Why?” Luc tried to steady his breathing. Not even the punishing skate had gotten Cat out of his mind.
“You’ll give yourself a heart attack.” Nick’s voice was amused. “That’s your business, sure, but if you keep it up, you’ll give Amy one, too.”
“Amy?” Shit, he’d lost track of time and forgotten he was due to coach her in a few minutes.
“I sent her to
the locker room to change.” Nick grinned. “When she comes back, stay downwind of her. You’re sweating like a pig.”
“Says the guy who sits behind a desk all day.” Luc swore under his breath.
“Hey, if you were a girl, I’d say you had PMS.” Nick took a step back. “What did I ever do to you?”
“Nothing. Forget it.” Luc tried to smile. “Why did you bring Amy here today? Where’s your sister?”
“Georgia took her to the doctor. Cat’s got bronchitis or something, so Mia, Charlie, and Liz are helping out at the gallery to get ready for Michael’s big quilt exhibition.” Nick gave him a grudging smile in return. “If Ward hadn’t whisked Mom off on a surprise honeymoon to Florida, I bet she’d be there, too. Those women stick together like glue.”
Sweat that wasn’t from his workout trickled between Luc’s shoulder blades under his jersey. Would Cat tell her sister and the others what had happened between them? Maybe not, because she was a private person. And a sick one. His stomach clenched.
“I hope Cat’s okay.” He wanted to be there for her. To love her and have her love him back. Although it was a kind of love he hadn’t ever felt before, it was still love. He’d never have proposed to Cat otherwise. Didn’t she understand how hard it was for him to say what was in his heart? She should know he loved her and that he didn’t take marriage lightly.
“She’ll be fine, but me, Sean, Josh Tremblay, and a few other guys from pool night at the Moose and Squirrel are swinging by the gallery tonight to lend a hand. You should join us.” Nick’s eyes narrowed. “Cat didn’t already let you know?”
