Ellen felt her aunt was speaking more about herself than about Conor. She wanted to ask her about her little girl, but Peg’s profile looked so rigid she feared her questions would be unwelcome. She wondered whether her aunt would notice that the votive candle had gone out on her bedside table. She would like to have told her, but she didn’t want to admit that she had been snooping. Instead, she knitted her fingers on her lap and watched the road ahead, illuminated by the headlamps.
When they arrived back at the house, Johnny’s truck was parked outside, next to Desmond’s. ‘Well, would you look at that? We’ve got an audience,’ said Peg, pulling up beside them.
‘They want to know how it went.’
‘They most certainly do.’ Peg switched off the engine and climbed out with a groan. She never complained about her aching bones, but Ellen noticed she walked with a slight limp, and getting up and out of chairs seemed uncomfortable. ‘Well, they’ve let themselves in so I suppose we have no choice but to join the party. Really, they do take liberties!’ But it was clear from the small smile creeping across her face that she was pleased they had come.
Ellen wished she could go directly to her bedroom and shut the door so that she could lie on her bed and replay the moment Conor had kissed her. She still had butterflies in her stomach. The gentle tugging on her conscience went unnoticed, however, because right now Conor had eclipsed William like a big, beautiful moon.
As soon as they heard the kitchen door open the room fell silent. Peg strode in to find Joe and Johnny, Desmond and Alanna sitting at the table with Oswald. She bent down to pat Mr Badger, keeping them all in suspense for a long moment. ‘Hello there, old friend,’ she said as the dog wagged his tail and nuzzled her with his wet nose.
‘So, are you going to tell us or not?’ Desmond growled. Ellen stepped in behind her aunt and grinned at Joe, who raised his eyebrows suggestively.
‘I might. But first, I need a wee Jameson.’ She went to the sideboard and reached for a glass in the cupboard above. ‘I hope you helped yourself to wine,’ she said to Oswald.
‘Oh, yes, Peg, it’s perfectly warmed, straight from the Stanley,’ he replied with a smile.
‘So, you’re all making yourselves at home, I see,’ she said, glancing at the table and the cups of tea and plates of biscuits and cake.
‘We thought we’d come and surprise you, Peggine,’ said Joe.
‘No, you didn’t,’ Peg retorted, pouring the whiskey into the glass. ‘You came to hear the gossip. I know you. And it isn’t at all surprising!’
‘Dad and I brought cake,’ Joe added.
‘Jack likes cake,’ said Peg.
‘Was the little girl happy with her nails?’ Alanna asked Ellen.
‘She was thrilled,’ Ellen replied, standing awkwardly by the door.
‘Well, don’t stand in the doorway. Come and sit down and tell us all about it,’ said Joe, patting the bench beside him. ‘ We won’t bite you.’
‘It’s not your bite I’m concerned about, Joe,’ Ellen answered back. ‘It’s your irresistible charm!’
Joe laughed. Johnny shook his head. ‘Irresistible charm!’ he scoffed. ‘The boy’s pleased enough with himself already.’ Ellen climbed in behind the table to sit next to Joe.
‘So, what’s the house like?’ Alanna asked.
‘Jaysus, woman, we don’t want to know what the house is like!’ said Desmond. ‘Peg, bring your drink over here and put us out of our misery.’
Peg brought her glass and a little jug of water to the table and sat down on Jack’s chair. The bird didn’t move and no one took any notice of him. Peg sighed and took a sip of whiskey. ‘I’m to the brim with tea,’ she said. ‘Ah, this is nice.’
‘So, Conor’s got the hots for Ellen, eh?’ said Joe, smirking at her. ‘Bet he was surprised when you turned up with Peggine!’
‘I suppose he might have been,’ Peg replied, lifting her chin self-importantly. ‘Although he shouldn’t have been. What sort of aunt would I be to let my niece go to a strange man’s house on her own?’
‘Did he moon at you across the table?’ Joe asked provocatively.
‘No, Joe, he didn’t moon at all,’ Ellen retorted.
‘Did you sit between them, Peg, like our Aunt Sheila who used to come between us at dances to make sure our bodies weren’t getting too close?’ Johnny asked.
‘I certainly didn’t. I sat and talked with Conor’s mother, Daphne.’
‘Oh, so it’s Conor now, is it?’ Joe teased.
‘I suppose it is,’ Peg replied, unable to suppress the small smile that alighted on her face. Peg was a woman who was quick to laugh at herself. ‘I can’t very well call him Mr Macausland if I call his mother Daphne.’
‘What’s Daphne like?’ Alanna asked.
Peg smiled. ‘Ah, she’s a guinea a minute. Full of gossip, she is. We had the craik, all right.’
‘So, what did you and Mr Macausland talk about when Peg was busy with his mother?’ Desmond asked Ellen. Unlike his brother and nephew, Desmond didn’t find the situation at all amusing.
Ellen shrugged. ‘I don’t know, this and that. I was painting his daughter’s nails.’
‘And he was mooning at you across the table,’ Joe repeated.
‘Quit codding about, Joe,’ said his father. ‘Does he want to see you again? That’s what I want to know.’
‘Oh, do be careful, Ellen,’ Alanna warned, her face crinkling with concern. ‘He’s nothing but trouble.’
‘Aye, don’t you go running about the countryside with him. He’s not to be trusted,’ said Desmond, and the forbidding way he looked at Ellen was almost enough to make her crumble into submission.
‘He’s not one of us,’ said Alanna.
‘How do you mean, not one of us?’ Ellen asked.
‘He’s not Irish,’ Desmond replied firmly.
‘Neither am I ,’ Ellen pointed out. ‘My father’s English, don’t forget.’
‘And there’s no shame in that,’ Peg added fiercely. ‘If Ellen wants to go running around the countryside with Conor, that’s her business. She’s old enough to look after herself.’ Ellen was grateful for her aunt’s support, albeit a little surprised. Peg had warned her against him just like the others.
Oswald piped up from the other end of the table where he had been listening to their banter with delight. ‘If you forbid someone to do something it’ll only make them want it more.’
Desmond scowled into his tea. ‘It’s only right that she should know how we feel,’ he said.
‘Sometimes it’s better not to know anything at all and make up one’s own mind,’ Oswald added wisely. ‘Knowing can be very cumbersome.’
‘So, what did Daphne tell you?’ Alanna asked Peg, drumming her fingers on the table with impatience.
Peg gave a sigh, but she told them anyway. ‘People thought she was an angel, but she wasn’t,’ she said finally.
Johnny reacted as Peg expected. ‘What rubbish! Of course she’s going to say that, she’s his mother.’
‘Our mam would have done the same. Why, she’d have defended us even if we’d committed murder,’ said Desmond.
‘Conor didn’t murder anyone,’ said Peg wearily. ‘It was an accident and that’s all there is to it.’
‘But who was rowing away?’ Joe asked, his voice heavy with insinuation.
‘The leprechauns in Dylan’s mind,’ Peg replied smartly. ‘Really, you can’t believe anything he tells you!’
‘Did you get a load of him today, in a suit!’ Joe laughed.
‘I don’t know what’s got into him,’ Alanna agreed. ‘He came into my shop and I hardly recognized him. He had his hair all brushed back.’
‘What the devil was he doing in your shop? Did he buy anything?’ Desmond asked.
‘No, he was just looking around.’
‘He was probably langered, got lost and thought you were the pub.’ Joe chuckled.
Alanna shook her head. ‘No, he wasn’t drunk. He looked good
. You know, I’d even go as far as to say he looked handsome.’
‘That’s nice to hear,’ said Peg. ‘He was always handsome in the old days.’
‘Maybe he’s going to finally make an honest woman of Martha,’ Desmond suggested.
‘Poor Martha.’ Alanna sighed. ‘She’s devoted to him. I’d tell her she’s wasting her time if I could. I don’t think Dylan will ever settle down, do you?’
‘Maybe she’s not wanting to get married, Alanna,’ said Peg. ‘Perhaps she’s just happy to be near him.’
‘You can go to the pub for that.’ Desmond chortled.
‘People are better when they’re married, at least I think so,’ said Alanna. ‘I don’t think human beings are designed to be on their own.’ They sank into silence for a moment. Ellen wondered what Oswald and Peg thought of that. Then, Alanna tapped her fingers on the table again. ‘Hey, Ellen. Will you come for Sunday dinner after Mass? Father Michael is very keen to meet you.’ Ellen hesitated. ‘You do go to Mass, don’t you?’ Alanna added and Ellen knew instinctively that the answer had to be yes.
‘Of course. I’d love to come. By dinner, you mean lunch, right?’
‘She’s such a posh bird!’ Joe chuckled.
‘Give it up, Joe,’ chided his father. ‘She can call it what the devil she likes.’
Alanna beamed happily. ‘That’s grand. It’ll be a right family get-together.’
They chattered on. Peg and Alanna rustled up some cold meat and potatoes and everyone stayed for supper. It was late when Peg finally got rid of them all. Oswald shuffled back to his cottage next door, having drunk a little more wine than usual, and Peg took Bertie and Mr Badger outside for a quick walk around the house before putting them to bed.
Ellen finished clearing away the remains of supper. As she gathered up the salt and pepper and put them back in the cupboard, she felt a warm sense of belonging. She knew Peg’s kitchen intimately now. It felt like home. She had been part of the family gathering around the table, and this time she had no longer felt such an outsider. It had given her pleasure to see how anxious they all were about her now that Conor Macausland had shown interest. It gave her a comforting feeling to think of Desmond, Joe and Johnny rallying round to protect her. They were like three grizzly bears and it was hard not to feel safe in their presence. However, she was determined to see Conor, whether they liked it or not. She’d have to be careful, though, to keep her encounters to herself.
Peg put Mr Badger and Bertie in the kitchen and shut the door. They climbed the stairs, reflecting on the evening like two old companions, and Ellen couldn’t fail to notice her easy relationship with her aunt. It was as if they had always been together.
‘Well, you get a good night’s sleep, now, Ellen.’
‘I will, Aunt Peg. It’s been a lovely day.’
‘What do you fancy doing tomorrow?’
‘I think I’ll go and explore.’
‘I think that’s a very good idea. Borrow my car and see a bit of Ireland.’ She lingered on the landing a moment. ‘You won’t be lonely on your own, now, will you?’
‘Not at all. I’m very good on my own. I like the peace.’
‘That’s because you’re a writer. You need time to be alone with your thoughts. Well, see you tomorrow then. Sleep well.’
Ellen watched Peg wander down the corridor to her bedroom and thought of her kneeling beside the picture of her child and praying. It brought a lump to her throat to think of her grieving in solitude, without her husband to share it with. She wondered again whether she’d notice the votive candle.
Ellen lay in bed and struggled to control her thoughts. She didn’t want to think of William, but he kept surfacing like a stubborn cork in the choppy ocean of her mind. There he was, in his beautifully cut Savile Row suit, with his blond hair pushed off his forehead, and his brown eyes questioning and indignant. He was young and fresh with skin that barely needed shaving and hands that were naturally soft and manicured because he had never done anything other than work in the City. His laughter was light and carefree because he had never had a single worry besides the odd invitation that hadn’t arrived or an important item of clothing that had gone missing at the dry-cleaner’s. He was pampered and privileged and in contrast to Conor, his good looks seemed shallow and too easily won.
It was easy to see why she had been attracted to William. He was charming and nice, but she had also subconsciously known he was ‘right’ for her in the eyes of her parents and friends. They were a natural match, like a pair of well-bred dogs, designed to mate. The life predicted for them ran along the same tracks as the one she had lived so far: comfortable, safe and unsurprising, like the first-class carriage of a well-oiled train. But Ellen didn’t want that any more; she just didn’t know how to tell William. Running away had seemed much easier than facing her change of heart. And yet, what if this small mutiny was a phase, as her mother would no doubt say? Pre-wedding nerves? What if her attraction to Conor was simply because he was the opposite to William? What if this adventure would run its course and in the end she’d return to London and that well-oiled train, full of repentance and regret? What if William found someone else in her absence and she was left to spend the rest of her days like Dylan, pining for her lost love?
But in the morning, when the pale light of dawn tumbled in through the gaps in the curtains, she felt nothing but excitement for the coming day. She stood by the window and watched the lighthouse rise up out of the mist like a new shoot emerging through the wintry earth. William had sunk to the bottom of her thoughts and all she had room for was Conor.
Chapter 14
Ellen drove beneath the avenue of ancient oaks on her way to Reedmace House, praying that Johnny and Joe wouldn’t see her car. There was every chance that they were there, and as far as she knew, the only way to Conor’s house was through the park. So it was with some trepidation that she motored past the castle, where Johnny’s truck was parked in its usual place. There was no chance of the two of them slacking off work while their boss was in residence, and as luck would have it they were nowhere to be seen and Ellen was able to drive around without being spotted.
The mist had dissolved, leaving a pale-blue sky and radiant sunshine. She rolled down the window to hear the merry twittering of birds and the sporadic hooting of a woodpecker in the trees. Clusters of snowdrops glistened on the banks and the grass shone a vibrant green. Soon the blossom would be out and the estate would burst into wondrous colour. She inhaled deeply and smelt the earthy scent of spring.
As she pulled up outside the house, she rather regretted having ruined her coat and boots, for Peg’s attire was not very appealing. At least her well-cut jeans and blue V-neck sweater were her own. She snatched a final glance in the rear-view mirror before stepping out onto the gravel. Her heart began to thump wildly as she approached the door. William had never sent her nerves into such a state of excitement. She didn’t have time to knock and gather herself because it opened at once and Conor appeared with Magnum at his side.
‘Well, good morning,’ he said, and his smile was full of affection.
‘Good morning,’ she replied shyly, trying without success to suppress her nervousness. He stepped forward, put an arm around her waist and kissed her on the lips, thus defusing any awkwardness. She laughed through her nose. ‘That’s better,’ he said. ‘Now, do you want something to drink before we go?’
‘No, I’ve just had breakfast.’
‘Right. Let’s head off, then.’ He let Magnum out then closed the door behind him. She followed him round to the stable block at the back of the house where he opened the boot of his Range Rover and let the dog in. ‘Magnum hates to be left behind,’ he told her. ‘And he doesn’t mind being a gooseberry. He’s also incredibly discreet.’
‘I’m pleased to hear it. I’m afraid I have the entire Byrne family on my case at the moment.’
‘That’s no surprise.’ He opened the door for her and she climbed in. ‘You’re lucky you have
so many people who care about you.’
They set off, but this time Conor turned left out of the driveway and drove down a mile or so of farm track, joining the country lane via an inconspicuous entrance at the bottom of the hill. ‘Just to be on the safe side,’ he said with a grin. ‘I don’t want to ruin your reputation.’
‘I’m not sure I have one yet.’
‘All the more reason, then.’ He accelerated down the lane. ‘So, was your aunt suspicious?’
‘I think she had such a nice time chatting to your mother that she didn’t notice us.’
‘That’s good. Mother is very short on company down here. She loved letting her hair down with Peg.’
‘I have to tell you, Conor, that this is the first time I have met my mother’s family.’
He didn’t seem very surprised. ‘Well, I hadn’t ever heard your name mentioned before and I know most people in Ballymaldoon.’
‘The truth is that my mother, Peg’s sister, ran away with my father and never came back. I’m hiding out here because I know it’s the one place my mother won’t look for me.’
He raised his eyebrows. ‘Ah, so you’ve run away from home, have you?’
‘Well, I’m too old to run away, but I haven’t told anyone where I’ve gone. If you knew my mother, you’d understand why. I just need time without my family bearing down on me. You know my parents met in your castle, before you bought it. Of course, Mother never told me. Peg did. I think Mum’s embarrassed by her working-class roots; she’s a terrible snob.’
‘They’re nothing to be ashamed of. The Byrne family are good people.’
‘I know. I feel rather let down, actually. All this time, I’ve had a wonderful family over here that I never knew existed.’
‘She must have had good reason to cut ties.’
‘Is marrying an English Protestant a good enough reason, do you think?’
‘If her mother was a very devout Catholic, perhaps.’
Secrets of the Lighthouse Page 16
