by Cora Brent
I was still smiling as I pushed the phone into my back pocket. Roe was my oldest friend, my best friend, other than Conway of course. She moved away from Emblem after the seventh grade when her father hit the jackpot on some Phoenix real estate he’d bought up cheaply during the housing crisis. I didn’t understand or care about the dollars and cents behind it, but I’d heard an awful lot of Emblem folks grumbling about how Jefferson Tory was no better than a bottom feeder. It was probably just jealousy. When I’d asked my own dad about it he’d taken a minute to chew and swallow before answering that no man should be ashamed of self-preservation. Anyway, I sure didn’t begrudge Roe’s family their newfound wealth, but I did mind very much when they picked up and moved fifty miles away to Scottsdale. She’d been enrolled in some kind of swank prep school up there until some recent scandal involving one of her teachers. Whatever had happened was bad and she didn’t like talking about it. Now that she had a car she drove down here whenever she could, but I hadn’t seen her since school let out weeks ago.
A sudden eruption of shouting startled me, but in all the chaos I couldn’t make out what had happened. One of the boys dangling from the bridge must have fallen. If it was Conway he would look for me right away. As I turned back to the sight of the eerily dark landscape I listened for the sound of his footsteps, eager to feel his strong arms around me.
“Plotting a little world domination?”
Shit. Stone.
I tensed, not especially excited to be confronted in the darkness by Con’s wild brother. “Maybe,” I shot back. “But since I’m so dangerous you should reconsider coming too close.”
He chuckled and lit a cigarette. “I’ll take my chances.”
There was no wind but a sudden chill rolled through me like a cold fingertip up the spine. I crossed my arms over my body, a defensive pose.
“Those will kill you,” I said.
Stone wasn’t doing anything wrong. He was just standing three feet away, smoking his stupid cigarette, nowhere near close enough to touch me. Yet it made me uneasy. He made me uneasy. I shouldn’t feel that way. I’d known him my whole life. Never for a minute did I believe he’d hurt me. But he seemed dangerous just the same.
He laughed through his nose and I could see enough of his outline to catch the scornful shrug. “Something will kill us all.”
I tossed my hair, sniffed. “Doesn’t excuse self destruction.”
God, listen to me. I was such a hypocrite. Such a fucking hypocrite! Stone didn’t know that though. Conway didn’t even know.
He was quiet for a moment. Then I saw the point of light from the cigarette fall from his hands to the ground. I heard the crunch that his shoe made in the dust as he squashed the flame.
“You’re right,” he said. “I quit.”
“Just like that?”
“Just like that.”
I didn’t believe him at all. I still didn’t know what he wanted. Stone didn’t usually seek me out for a chat. Generally Con’s brother and I exercised a sort of mutual wary tolerance. It wasn’t friendship, not even close.
“You doubt me,” he said. It wasn’t a question.
“Of course. You can be a real walking dick.”
He snorted. “That’s a ridiculous insult, Erin. Dicks don’t have legs.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I don’t.”
I whirled on him. “That must be why your eyes were fastened to my chest this morning.”
As soon as I said it I wished I hadn’t. After all, hadn’t I also zeroed in on his crotch as he stretched in the yard? He’d seen me staring. Stone knew everything about girls and my quick flash of shameful lust probably wasn’t lost on him.
He laughed out loud. “So that’s what this latest bug up the ass is about? No worries, honey. That’s not a line I’d ever cross, but if you stick your tits out the window a guy’s kind of obliged to check them out.”
I would ignore him. That was the only way to deal with Stone. He loved attention more than he loved anything else. But my mouth wasn’t listening.
“You’re such a pig,” I spat.
“So be it. Pigs are loveable creatures.”
I just hissed and took a few deliberate steps away from him. That should be enough to send him in the other direction.
But instead of giving up and walking back to the group to answer Courtney’s whiney complaints that he should come back over there and pay some attention to her, he decided to get on my nerves some more.
“You do like pigs, don’t you, Erin?”
“Only when they’re on my plate. Preferably in the form of bacon.”
“Ah. You wounded me.” I could hear the smile in his voice. He wasn’t wounded. He sniffed theatrically and let the mockery drip from every word.
“Like hell,” I snapped.
“You did.”
“Okay.” I spun around. “How did I wound you Stone? How is that even possible?”
He pretended to pout. “You don’t like me.”
“You don’t like me either.”
“Yes I do,” he said quietly. “You’re just fine.”
I exhaled with exasperation. “Well, maybe you’re not.”
“What does that mean?”
“I’ve never seen you be anything but selfish. You don’t hesitate to drag other people down with you. You don’t even notice when they suffer for it.”
He sounded genuinely amused. “What people?”
I felt my face getting hot. If Conway heard this conversation he wouldn’t like it. But I couldn’t seem to close my mouth. “Like that time you got Con to go along with breaking into the school to steal all the teachers’ chairs and throw them into the town pool.”
He laughed. “Ah, yes. Tenth grade was fun.”
“Fun? Conway got suspended for three days.”
“So did I. And it was fun. We used the time off well, a marathon gaming session of Deadly Combat. I won.”
I made a noise of disgust. “Vintage Stone Gentry. Never ever thinking of anyone but yourself. Why can’t you at least give him a chance?”
“Conway? A chance for what?”
“Something better. He’ll never have it if he’s always trying to keep up with you.”
Stone slapped his pack of cigarettes against his palm. “That what you think? You imagine that I’m some kind of anti-Christ who you have to rescue Conway from? Conway, my brother. Jesus, all these years you’ve known me and you really think I don’t give a damn about anything.”
“I think you only give a damn about your next piece of ass,” I shot back. My voice had risen and I paused, swallowing, before continuing in a lower tone. “I think you care about getting drunk and screwing around and forever avoiding anything that looks like work. As for Conway, I think you don’t want him to do any better than you. You don’t want him to have anything you don’t have.”
Always in my mind, but never had the words come out of my mouth. For two years Stone and I had stayed at a tense distance. I braced myself for what would come firing out of his mouth. He would say that I held Con back, that I stood in the way of Con’s fun. After all, Stone had rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath often enough in my presence for me to understand that was how he felt. He didn’t believe in girlfriends or loyalty. He certainly didn’t believe in love.
Stone surprised me though. He didn’t return the insults. He crept two silent steps closer and stood so closely I had to crane my neck to look up at him. In the dark he was just an outline. One that smelled of smoke and peppermint and the same aftershave his brother used.
“You’re wrong,” he said curtly and then stalked away.
I didn’t realize I’d been holding a breath until I exhaled and heard my heart pounding.
Suddenly I felt bad. Stone wasn’t exactly sensitive. But I had the uncomfortable feeling that I’d hurt him a little. I’d gone too far. Sure, Stone had faults but who the hell was I to challenge him over how he felt about his own brother? If someone had said
something like that to me about my sisters I’d be ready to claw their eyes out.
A whole mess of shouting and backslapping erupted at the tunnel.
“How’s that dust taste, asshole? Gentry wins!”
When the noise died down I heard Con’s voice say my name but something cemented me to the ground I was standing on. Inside my head I heard myself calling out to him, running over and leaping into his arms. It was what I wanted. Yet still I stood there.
“Erin?” Conway asked and he was closer. I could hear the worry in his voice. Even in the best of times it was never wise to go wandering around in the desert if you didn’t know what you were doing, where you were going. This was an unforgiving place, filled with unforgiving creatures.
“Here,” I called and held my arm out, relaxing with a sigh when his hand found mine. A few dozen yards away other Emblem teenagers, people I’d known my whole life, howled like wolves and collided. They would be pairing off now. Stone was probably already leading Courtney, or whoever his nightly choice was, to the nearest backseat. It didn’t bother me. As Conway’s arms circled me I gratefully buried my face in his strong chest as he started absently stroking my hair.
“Why were you all the way over here alone?” He kissed the top of my head.
“I’m not alone now.” I spread my palms across his broad back, running my hands up and down, then lower. I both heard and felt his sharp intake of breath as I sank to my knees in the gritty sand, pulling him down there with me. Immediately his hand was under my shirt and we were kissing with eager hunger.
“Erin,” he groaned as I straddled him.
“Yes.” I kissed his neck, lightly, teasingly, the way he liked it. “I’m ready, I swear.”
“You sure?” he whispered. His hand traveled higher, unhooking my bra. I pulled at the soft cotton of his t-shirt until my hands found the muscled skin beneath.
“I’m sure.”
All at once we were were rolling around in the sand. A rock dug into my back and something alive hissed in the brush, scrabbling around, unhappy about being disturbed. It wasn’t the ideal place to be intimate but I didn’t care. I needed him to be closer. I needed it so badly I could hardly breathe. And Con was in a fire of passion, hands everywhere, even more intense than usual. Tomorrow we could blame the strange darkness for taking this moment that we’d been waiting for forever.
But tonight we just needed to use each other. So we would.
He unzipped his pants. I helped him. He groaned.
And then with a gasp of brilliance the lights of Emblem resumed.
Main Street became unbearably vivid. The neighborhoods that had melted into the darkness unseen spread their wings in every direction. It was like watching a sleeping giant roar awake. Conway and I stopped what we were doing and looked out at our hometown while our friends applauded the return of electricity. Someone threw or dropped a bottle. The crash of glass was loud, so terribly loud.
“Stone!” whined a female voice.
“Hey Gentry,” hissed someone else, “you’re gonna fucking pay for that. Fuck. My last forty.”
Conway had twisted his head around at the sound of his brother’s name. It was true that he and Stone never missed an opportunity to knock each other over. But it was also true that if anyone dared to mess with one he’d have to have to face the wrath of the other. If Conway even got a whiff of anything like trouble he’d go barreling into the darkness ready to defend his brother. No matter what, the Gentry boys were a team. Everyone knew it.
I didn’t hear Stone’s response, if there even was one. Conway relaxed. He pulled me into his lap as I finished re-hooking my bra. His strong and steady heartbeat pulsed against my back and I matched my breathing to his. I closed my eyes as he held me close, saying nothing, doing nothing, while the imprint of the town’s garish lights disappeared behind my eyelids. We wouldn’t go any further tonight. We would hold each other until the clock demanded that we stop.
Until then there was just this. And this was enough.
CHAPTER FOUR
CONWAY
One afternoon this past spring Mr. Carson caught me and Stone swiping cigarettes from the glove compartment of an empty Ford truck parked behind his garage. We’d done it before. We would huddle behind the dumpster and wait for the mechanics to park in the lot behind the garage when they ran out of room inside. At night they moved everything indoors and locked up but they were more careless in daylight. We’d never found anything valuable and I’m not sure we would have taken it if we had. Small bills, loose change, cigarettes and once a yellowed, old fashioned map of the state of Arizona that appealed to Stone for some reason.
Stone had a pack of Marlboros clutched in his palm and I was still ducking out of the front seat when Mr. Carson happened to waddle outside to the scene of the crime. But instead of wearing us out and calling his goons to herd us out of there he scratched the back of his mottled neck and said, “If you boys want to hang around here so bad, why don’t you throw on a jumpsuit and learn a thing or two?”
Mr. Carson was the kind of guy who didn’t say something if he didn’t mean it. Stone wasn’t interested though. He was busy making some change in a numbers game he’d started some months back. But I’d always been fascinated by how things were put together, what made them tick. I was glad to have the chance to find out. Mostly I swept the garage and kept the equipment clean but lately Mr. Carson had been letting me in on some oil changes and brake jobs. I liked it, working with my hands, the powerful pride that came from being useful. It came along with a hunger to learn more, to do more.
Erin always gave me a hard time for not stepping up in the classroom. She said I had no excuse because I was far from stupid. She was right. I always did well in math, really well. Years ago when we were still something like a normal family, the school would call my parents down once a year to talk about how high my scores were on these tests the state always required. My mother would yell at me for not ‘living up to my potential’ but then she’d kind of forget about it. My dad was different though. He’d slip me a ten dollar bill when no one was looking and tell me how proud he was.
Not my dad. Elijah.
I shouldn’t think that way. I knew damn well Elijah Gentry had been my father in every way that counted. My mother didn’t answer questions and really I wasn’t even sure who my father was supposed to be. Some of the gossip pointed to his cousins, Benton and Chrome Gentry, but I didn’t know whether to take that seriously. Chrome was dead and nobody in their right minds would want that violent sack of shit Benton as a father. They’d had sons of their own, cousins I remembered vividly, especially Deck. He was like a celebrity, riding around town all full of cool tattoos and danger. But along with the infamous triplets, he’d made his Emblem exit a while back and didn’t come around much. I wished he would. I would have liked to ask him a few things.
“Quit daydreaming.” A steel-toed boot nudged me but the voice was not unfriendly. It was Booster, one of Carson’s mechanics. He’d allowed me to roll under the belly of an ancient Bronco for an oil change.
I finished up, double checking to make sure everything was tight and good to go. Booster was grinning at me when I rolled out from under the vehicle. Since he was missing a few prominent teeth the result wasn’t too pretty. Booster wagged a finger and clucked like an old grandmother.
“You ain’t being paid to hang out and think about girls.”
I wiped a greasy palm on the front of my jumpsuit and accepted the hand that offered to yank me to my feet.
“I wasn’t,” I argued, “thinking about girls.”
Booster bobbed his head. “Just one girl, eh?”
I cracked a grin. “The best one.”
He chuckled, shaking his head, and tossed me an oily rag to wipe my hands with.
Even when my thoughts weren’t about her specifically, Erin was always on my mind. And I wasn’t just bragging. She really was the best. She was beautiful and smart and so damn sexy it burned me up. I didn’t
like a day to go by without seeing her and I was proud to walk around with her at my side. Sometimes she would get kind of quiet, almost sad, and when that happened I didn’t know what she was thinking, but that was fine. I knew she loved me like crazy and she didn’t need to tell me every thought that crossed her mind. I was lucky. How many guys get to really fall for the perfect girl next door? It’s like a sappy fairy tale or one of those Woman’s Network movies that my mom’s always weeping over.
Since I was only supposed to work until four and it was already a quarter after, I started cleaning up. When I got to my phone there were was a text from Stone, all full of profanity and telling me to get my ass home so we could go have some fun. Erin on the other hand sent a love message full of hearts and ‘miss you’ promises, asking when I was going to pick her up. Both messages made me smile, for different reasons.
The smile faded a little when I remembered that Erin’s obnoxious friend Roe was still in town. She’d been okay back when she lived in Emblem, maybe a shade on the stuck-up side but nothing too annoying. But ever since her dad had struck it rich and moved the family up to some glittering palace in north Scottsdale, she strutted around with a my-shit-don’t-stink kind of attitude, muttering in some fancy private school French about who the fuck knew what. I got it; the girl thought her money and her looks made her too good to breathe the air in some gritty small town. But even worse was the way she’d decided Erin was too good for it too. More to the point, it seemed she figured Erin was too good for me.
But I’d promised Erin I’d be nice and so far I had been. I didn’t want to give Erin any reason to be uptight so I wouldn’t be telling the snotty best friend to go to sit on a stiff one and rotate. Anyway, she must have given Roe the same warning because last night when we were all hanging out down by the canal Roe stuck quietly by Erin’s side and didn’t give anyone any shit. I told Stone that he ought to make it a mission to keep the damn girl busy until she piloted her Prius back to fucking Scottsdale but Roe steadily ignored him until he got bored and wandered off to score some action from Courtney Galicki.
