by Cora Brent
There, beside the gutter of one of the nicest streets in Emblem I bent over and tried to breathe, all the while thinking grimly that this was how people wound up in the hospital with heat exhaustion. Since I was standing in direct sunlight any sweat that tried to escape dried up almost instantly. As I’d skidded to a stop in front of a sprawling Santa Fe-style mini mansion I’d also managed to roll my ankle. It wasn’t too bad but it hurt to walk. At least I was only a few blocks from home. If I could just manage to get there I could burrow underneath my bed covers and scream for a while until my throat gave out.
A shiver overcame me as I limped down the empty street. It wasn’t a shiver of cold. More like sickness. The look in Conway’s eyes kept coming back to me. It was one of agony. I’d managed to cause him pain. It was the last thing I’d ever meant to do. This sick realization was quickly followed by anger.
Conway had made his suspicions clear. I didn’t know where the hell he’d come by them but the fact that they’d crossed his mind was enough to get my blood moving.
How could he think, even for a split second, that I’d betray him with his own brother?
How could he believe I’d ever betray him with anyone?
The thought had never even occurred to me, not seriously.
The ground beneath my slow-moving feet was covered with a carpet of yellow; decaying flowers shed from the palo verde trees that stretched overhead. Light and feathery, they would turn brown and dance briefly in the summer storm winds until they came apart. I kicked them savagely aside as I trudged toward home, trying to somehow make sense of this impossible day.
Only one explanation seemed to fit. Stone must have said something to Conway, something awful enough to make Con think we’d been running around behind his back.
But…why??
Lately Stone had proven himself to be a friend when I badly needed one. And I’d always assumed he was loyal to his brother. Yet I’d known Stone Gentry for enough years to recognize that he was also a player, even a liar, when it suited him.
What did you say to him, you bastard?
It simply didn’t make sense that Stone would have covered for my cutting addiction by telling a lie that was a thousand times worse. But maybe all wasn’t as it appeared between the Gentry brothers. Maybe taunting Conway so cruelly was some tool of vengeance that I didn’t understand. No matter how many different ways I examined things, they all came back to Stone.
Still, something else sat heavy on my heart.
Nothing Stone could have said should make Conway believe that I’d cheat on him. He should know better. What the hell had happened to make him forget that?
My ankle was hurting bad. I probably looked like an adolescent female Frankenstein limping down the residential streets of Emblem. Once a car pulled over and I recognized Mrs. Avery, one of my father’s coworkers at the prison. She was concerned and asked me if I needed a ride. I managed to force my dry lips into a smile and told her no thank you.
Mrs. Gentry was getting into her car just as I made it home. She must have been on her way to work at the pharmacy because she wearing her white lab coat. It sported a prominent coffee stain near her left breast. When she saw me she wrinkled her nose like an animal does when it smells something bad. She didn’t like me. Actually it was possible she didn’t like anyone, including her own sons. She seemed to tolerate Stone a little more easily than Conway though, for whatever reason. She didn’t offer any greeting before she climbed into her Toyota and turned on the ignition. The car must have been hot as an oven sitting there in the driveway with the afternoon sun pouring in. She cracked the window and started to back out of the driveway.
“Is Stone home?” I shouted.
Her gray eyes shot to my face and she hit the brakes. “Now it’s Stone you’re into?” she snapped.
“No,” I replied, trying to keep my temper. “I just asked if he was home.”
“Go find out for yourself.” She closed the window, backed into the street and took off with a squeal of tires.
Stone came to the door before I had a chance to even knock. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and he looked unhappy. He nodded to me. “You look like shit.”
“Why don’t you file that away in the drawer filled with things you should never say to any girl?”
His lips twitched. “I was just heading out for a walk.” Then he got a good look at my face and frowned. “What’s wrong?”
The world started to turn strange colors. A handful of ink blots appeared, melted together, and grew. The muscles that kept my legs standing up decided they were tired of working. I would have collapsed completely if Stone hadn’t been quick enough to grab me. I heard him shouting my name with alarm as I floated over to the Gentrys’ ugly orange couch. Once I was there I realized Stone had carried me. He peered down with worry all over his face. Then he disappeared. When he reappeared he was holding a glass of water.
“I’m fine,” I muttered weakly as I tried to sit up. “Just got too much sun.”
Stone put a cool palm to my forehead as I drank the glass of water. “Do you have a headache?”
“No.”
“Do you need to vomit?”
“What? No.”
He sighed and took his hand away. “I was trying to remember the symptoms of sun stroke.”
I handed the empty glass back to him. “I don’t have sun stroke.”
“You might. Maybe I should call your dad.”
“Don’t you dare!”
“Sun stroke and heat exhaustion aren’t things to fuck around with, Erin.”
“For the love of god, Stone, shut up about the sun stroke! Sun stroke isn’t what’s wrong with me!”
“Well, what is wrong then?”
I sat up and perched on the edge of the couch, my hands clenched in my lap. Stone sat beside me. I could feel him watching me but I couldn’t meet his eyes when I said the words. “Con said…”
He tensed. “You talked to Con?”
“Yeah. He ran away from me this morning and looked upset so I walked down to Carson’s to see him at work.”
“And did you see him?”
“Yes.” I winced, remembering the sheer awfulness of that encounter. “Stone, I need to know. Did something happen between you and Con?”
He coughed. “We had a fight.”
“About what?”
“I really don’t know.”
“Yes you do,” I whispered.
He exhaled heavily, painfully. I glanced over at him and saw his eyes were tightly shut as he ran a hand through his hair.
“Con thinks…” Stone said haltingly. “He thinks that we’re, ah….I mean that you and me…”
“Fucked around,” I finished.
Stone opened his eyes and looked at me apologetically. “I swear I don’t know why he thinks that. Something’s going on with him. I don’t know what it is and it might not even have to do with us. But seeing us hanging out together is messing with his head somehow.”
I took a deep breath, trying not to cry. “I saw his face, Stone. It was like we didn’t even know each other anymore. Just like that. I hear about all these couples that grow apart and shit but that can’t happen to us. I love him so much.”
Stone’s face was full of pity. “I know you do. And I know that he loves you too. It’s not like this is the end for you guys. Contrary to his behavior today, Conway isn’t an asshole. We’ll get this straightened out, Erin.” He patted my back awkwardly. “I know my brother.”
“I thought I knew him too.”
“You do,” Stone said with finality.
The knock on the door made us both jump. Stone got to his feet and went to the window, pulling the curtain back.
“Oh,” he said with surprise, “I think that’s my cousin’s truck.”
I shrugged, not caring much about his cousin or his cousin’s truck. For the first time I realized Stone was probably not far off when he mentioned that I looked like shit. Plus there was a rising tide of panic swelling in my he
ad. With every breath I tried to surf above it but I wasn’t succeeding. I was drowning.
Stone held up one finger and moved to the door as I slumped back onto the couch. With a sense of detachment I saw that the snap on his jeans was undone, for whatever male-centered reason that I didn’t care to dwell on. Maybe he’d been jerking off before he answered the door. I didn’t give a damn.
There was more than one person at the door. I heard voices, all deep, all male. Stone’s voice was mixed in there. If he was going to invite company inside they might be startled to discover a girl lying on the couch looking like she’d just had either a very good time or a very bad one.
“What am I doing here?” I asked the empty room. The dark wood wall paneling had no answer. I shouldn’t be just sitting in Conway’s living room. I needed to find him. I needed to make Stone come with me and right this wrong or else that terrible swelling tide would overtake me and I’d need to do something to let the pain out.
Stone might have been right to worry about my health because when I stood up the room swayed in an unhealthy, watery kind of way. I heard Stone bidding farewell to someone as I lurched toward the door.
Stone was standing there alone as a pickup truck drove away from the curb.
“We need to go,” I said, my heart pounding in my ears as I tucked my shirt in. “We need to find him.”
“Erin, wait-“
“No!” I shouted. “Now. I need to find him. I need him.”
For a second my tangled thoughts screamed that Stone Gentry was deliberately standing in my way. It seemed he was the reason I wasn’t able to get to Conway. I struck out a blind fist, which he easily caught and forced down.
“Erin!” he yelled, “Knock it off.”
The ink blots were back and they were furious. Stone’s face disappeared behind a particularly fat one and as my shoulder hit the doorframe I realized I was probably going to fall down. Once again Stone caught me, although the spell passed nearly as soon as it started. Still, I let him hold me up and felt his chest underneath my cheek as I leaned on him.
“I can walk,” I muttered when it seemed like he was planning on carrying me again. He kept his arm around my waist as he led me back to the couch.
“I think you need a doctor,” he warned.
“No. I don’t need a doctor.”
He put a hand to my forehead again. “You’re still hot. How long were you out there running around without water in hundred and ten degree weather?”
“I was a little distracted since my boyfriend had just accused me of fucking his brother.”
Stone sighed and tugged on my sweater. “Take this off.”
I was disgusted. “Seriously?”
He let out a short laugh and rolled his eyes. “I just mean that you need to cool your body down. Believe me, whatever you have, I’ve seen better.”
“Hey Stone, you should also add that to your list of ‘Things never to say to girls’.”
He chuckled. “Stay here. I’ll crank up the air conditioning and get you some more water.”
After he paused to adjust the thermostat Stone disappeared into the kitchen. Reluctantly I shrugged out of my sweatshirt. Then, slowly, I pulled my long t-shirt over my head, leaving me sitting there on the Gentry’s couch in the middle of the afternoon in only my white tank top. It shouldn’t have been such a big deal but to me it was almost the same as sitting there naked. Still, I had to admit that Stone was correct and I started to feel better without all those layers.
Stone returned with another glass of water and an ice compress made out of a yellow dishtowel. He waited while I drank and then ordered me to lie back as he leaned over and covered my forehead with the crude ice pack. I didn’t miss the way his eyes lingered on my body and he swallowed hard.
“Hideous, isn’t it?” I asked.
He was startled. “What?”
I held out my arms, displaying the scars; most faint, some not so faint. “These.”
“Oh.” He shook his head, smiling. “I wasn’t looking at those. I was looking at something else. Two things actually.”
“Stone!”
He shrugged. “What do you expect? I’ve got an eighteen-year-old dick. It makes me look at things like pretty tits even if I’m not allowed to touch them.”
I laughed, long and hard. “You’re impossible.”
Stone cocked his head and watched me for a moment. “And you’re okay, Erin,” he said softly. “You’ll be okay.”
I knew he wasn’t just talking about today. “You think so?”
“I do.” He pulled the ice pack away and lightly pressed his lips to my forehead before gently putting the ice pack back. It was actually sweet, a gesture of friendship and caring. In the context of the moment it didn’t seem sexual or even inappropriate. But it happened at the worst possible time.
Conway must have come in through the side door that leads to the kitchen. We didn’t hear him at all. We didn’t see him until he was standing right in front us, wild-eyed, and grief-stricken. Stone looked at me and I felt the panic that I saw in his face.
After all, what would any reasonable person think of this view? I was lying down with only a flimsy tank top covering my breasts. Stone hovered over me with his shirt off and the button on his jeans still loose.
Of course it wasn’t what at all what it looked like. But how many guilty parties had made the exact same claim?
Conway was broken, utterly crushed. “Damn you,” he sobbed as he backed away from us. “Damn you both to hell.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CONWAY
“Fucking nuts,” I muttered to the mirror. It only answered by continuing to spit back my weary reflection. I’d been in here for too long, ever since I watched Erin run away, right after I accused her of betraying me with my brother.
A fist thundered against the bathroom door. “Get outta there, Gentry!”
I splashed some cold water on my face and shoved the ratty baseball cap back on my head. What had I done? What was wrong with me? I rubbed my eyes, trying to erase the image of Stone’s hurt face from this morning. And then there was Erin’s devastated one from less than an hour ago. These were the two people who meant more to me than anyone. These were the two people who loved me the most in return.
The thought of them together…it was ridiculous. It was absurd. It was a product of my paranoid imagination. It was fucking nuts.
“Gentry!” The complaint on the other side of the door returned, along with another volley of battering knocks. When I opened up I saw Booster standing there, hopping from foot to foot with a pained expression.
“Go home and do that shit in your mother’s pillowcase,” he snarled before pushing me out of the way. As soon as he shut the door I heard a colossal fart and a loud groan.
Benji Carson had his head buried in the guts of a classic Mustang. He looked up when I cleared my throat.
“You okay, kid?” he asked.
I could have made something up, a stomachache or other personal issue. But I hated to lie to Mr. Carson. I’d already burned too much karma lately with the people in my life.
“I’ve got something I really need to take care of,” I said. “I swear I’ll be back in an hour.”
Mr. Carson mulled it over. “You’re off the clock while you’re gone.”
“I know.”
He shrugged and turned back to the car. “Have at it then. One hour?”
“Yes, sir. Thank you.”
If I’d had my phone I would have called them both with an apology but my phone was still somewhere on the sludgy floor of the Main Street canal. Anyway, I owed both Erin and Stone face-to-face apologies. Plus I hadn’t yet told Stone about our mother’s confession and he deserved to know. It seemed like once I told him it would somehow take the weight off of knowing it myself.
As I jogged through the back shortcuts toward home I felt better already. The echo of my mother’s poisonous words did not sting as much.
She thought I was shit.
>
So what?
I wasn’t shit. After all, the triplets had grown up knowing they were Benton’s sons and they’d managed to evolve into good men. I could do that too. I could be just like them someday; self-reliant and honest. And just like them I could keep my brother as my best friend and go home to my lady every night. There couldn’t be a girl other than Erin in that role. I didn’t care that we were young or that it was impractical. I was ready to promise to spend forever with her.
It took me almost twenty minutes to make it back to my street. I’d have to hurry this along if I was going to keep my promise to Carson. Stone would be easy. An apology and an awkward man hug would put us back on track.
Since I’d forgotten my keys back at the garage I headed for the side door, figuring it was more likely to be unlocked than the front door. The outer screen usually let out a rusty screech but it was propped open, leaving only the interior door, which didn’t make a sound.
The kitchen was empty. My mother would be at work but Stone should be around. I didn’t get more than two steps before I heard voices. I stopped. There was a burst of female giggling.
“Stone!” Erin laughed.
I couldn’t hear what came next. Soft murmurs. I followed them, my mouth dry, my heart pounding. I didn’t want to see what was in the living room. My feet took me there anyway.
She was on her back. Her sweatshirt had been discarded on the floor and Erin, the epitome of modesty, was lounging on my living room couch wearing only a white tank top with no apparent bra. Stone, bare-chested and disheveled, was leaning over her. He gently kissed her forehead and the world exploded. If they’d been totally naked and humping their ever-loving brains out it probably would have hurt a little less. But seeing them so close, so intimate, in a way that was much more than lust, was a fucking dagger straight through the center of my soul.
“Damn you,” I choked out and two shocked faces turned on me. “Damn you both to hell!”
Erin let out a cry of anguish as Stone jumped to his feet. He came to me with his arms out, saying my name over and over but I kept backing out the way I had come. I couldn’t be near him. Or her. There were no thoughts of violence in my head, no desire for revenge. There was only the cruel grip of betrayal squeezing my heart.
