Mom slid a plate and a knife and fork in front of me. “Until then, if you won’t let me take care of you, I suggest you eat and go to bed with a heating pad.”
I ate. Exhaustion and relief combined, and I felt dizzy.
Everything had gone wrong today. I’d been dragged off my quest, caught by Mourning Dove, caught by Remmy, my lair invaded, I was late getting home, making up with Remmy the first time hadn’t stuck, my parents had caught me, and more things I couldn’t remember with my head spinning like this. Like an imaginary number to the fourth power became positive, all those things going wrong combined together to become exactly right.
My parents had just given me permission to pursue my plan. Now, my summer could really get started.
bragged about my total parental victory while Claire and Ray examined a lamp.
“This gives me the time that I need. Everything I do will look like I’m trying to duel Bad Penny!” I said. Explained. Gushed. I was pretty excited.
My friends remained distracted by the lamp. Not that any of us intended to buy it, but we’d been wandering around talking, and seen a little furniture store with a classic red velvet fainting couch in the window. Poking our nose inside had revealed even more glories, such as this lamp shaped like a golden dragon trying to swallow the big white moon globe that held the lightbulb.
“I guess we head over to the lab and build a robot now?” Ray nudged a little brass brazier that didn’t have to be anything except a little brass brazier to be weird and cool.
Shivering―I might never get used to this―I laid a hand on the middle of his back. “No, with the pressure off, I can afford to enjoy myself for a week. We can get to work after your birthday. I haven’t been the best of friends, tied in a knot about this.” Or girlfriends.
Claire jerked upright. “What? No! I want to be there when you activate Robo-Penny!”
I held up my hands to ward off her fit of pique. “You will be!”
She put her fists on her hips and gave me The Pout. “Not if you wait a week. I leave for ballet camp on Ray’s birthday.”
I gave her the Wounded Stare back. “What?!”
Claire raised her finger in warning. “I’ve been telling you I’m going to camp all summer. Mom says ballet gave her high arches and that’s why she’s so comfortable in heels. If she can do it, I can.”
Folding my arms, I gave her The Pout right back. As I lacked a super-cuteness power to back it up, she breezily ignored me. Instead, she poked Ray in the shoulder.
He tensed. My theatrical sullenness vaporized. What was going on?
When Ray didn’t immediately react, I repeated my question out loud. “Whaaaaaat?”
As stiff as if he’d never gotten super agility, my boy turned to face me, back straight, eyes wide like he was watching his firing squad. His voice held similar desperate flatness. “I’m leaving on my birthday, too.”
“Say what now?” I replied, with elegance and wit.
He only became tenser, but his eyes didn’t leave me. “Emilie Rivka Nikita St. Daphne was impressed by my photos of the Bad Doctor’s head. She agreed to take me on as her apprentice. We’re leaving for Russia in a week.”
“What?! When?”
Claire thumped me in the bicep. “On his birthday. He said. We’re both leaving early in the morning.”
I shook my head urgently. “No, I mean, for how long? I don’t want to spend my summer alone. What about the school year?”
My hyper-blonde bestie rolled her eyes at my panic and gave me a harder nudge. “I’m just going to camp. We’ll have a whole month of summer left when I get back.”
“I don’t know how long I’ll be, but I doubt it will be all summer,” said Ray.
It took me a second or two to process this, and then I did what was necessary. Throwing my arms around him, I squeezed Ray as hard as I could, while burying my face in his neck. “I’m so happy for you. I’ll miss you, but I know this is what you never thought to dream of.”
Slowly, the tension drained out of him, accompanied by a sigh like a decompressing tire. Claire must have done something behind my back, because Ray lifted his hand and spoke in a voice dripping with honeyed satisfaction. “No, no. She can do this as long as she likes.”
Pffft. Okay, Lust-Crazed Ray had returned, always the signal that he’d come clean with all his guilty secrets. To reward him for his honesty, and because I liked this Ray, I maintained the whole ‘tightly pressed to him’ thing for one more second.
Only one more second. Didn’t want him getting too many ideas. Especially not in a furniture store!
In no way did I feel like I was on fire from all that touching, and rumors I leaped away like a startled grasshopper are entirely untrue.
Everything I’d just learned tumbled into place. “We only have one week to celebrate Ray’s birthday, stock me up with a month’s worth of friendship, and build a robot doppleganger!”
“Well, then we’d better get started, hadn’t we?” asked Claire with a wicked grin.
His grin even wickeder, Ray said, “I can think of ways I’d like to celebrate my birthday.”
Oh, yeah, his conscience no longer bothered him.
But… one week! My chance to finally relax, gone!
Nothing for it. I dug my goggles out of my backpack, and slipped them on.
“Let’s build us a robot.”
As easily done as said.
Okay, technically, there was all kinds of work involved, but I didn’t remember much of it. I may not have completely blacked out, but ‘me’ disappeared in a haze of images of circuits, twitching things, and what might have been molecules while my omniscient super-power told my hands what to do.
Blackout or not, that still left me feeling a lot like I’d just woken up, in one of the workshops of my Bad Penny base, with Claire and Ray watching expectantly as I tucked the corset back into place on my dummy.
Woken up from one of those naps that leave your back in knots. Whew! I rubbed my forehead with my sleeve, and announced “All done! Or… maybe not?”
My minions, playing the role to the hilt, stood side by side with their feet apart and their hands clasped behind their backs. Both sets of eyes studied me, until Ray finally said, “Are you in there, oh Mechanical Temptress?”
“For the moment, but there’s something missing,” I answered.
What? I bent the mannequin’s arm, and its hand and fingers. The doll joints moved easily enough. It didn’t feel noticeably heavier. Had I even turned this into a robot at all?
I’d done something. Working backwards, I pulled down the corset and opened up the shirt buttons of its Bad Penny costume. The torso had always been split in three pieces. Now, the upper chest had a hatch in the middle, two doors that opened like a cuckoo clock. Robot Bad Penny had better keep that well protected, although it did take some fiddling to pry open.
Inside… well, this was definitely a robot. The dummy’s interior remained mostly hollow, but ‘mostly’ did a lot of work, here. Fabric, wires, and shiny circuit-like tracery lined the inner shell. A harness of struts and wires, like a metal cobweb, occupied the center of her chest.
Waiting for a heart.
Yes.
I so did not want to go under again. Letting my power take control could be fun and exciting, but sometimes the whole thing felt creepy and uncomfortable, like giving up my body to someone else for awhile. Nothing for it. The plan had been in my head since I first got this idea, after all.
I looked back at Ray and Claire, easy to do because they’d crowded up to peer into the chest cavity with me. “Okay, gang. How much gold do we have?”
“None,” said Claire.
“Zippo,” said Ray.
“You used all of it,” said Ray.
“You made me give you my earrings and go find a gold ring that someone lost in the greenhouse planters,” said Claire.
“You called us fools, slackards, and mendicants. Oh, and you cursed our malfeasance.”
“Thi
s robot was supposed to have some feature it doesn’t, because you couldn’t get enough gold. Despite our raging incompetence, you made do.”
They both had the tight, cheek-bulging faces of people fighting to hold back grins.
My cheeks felt a bit tight as well. Hopefully, I wasn’t blushing hot enough to make out. “I take it I’m difficult when my power takes over?”
They lost it. The grins appeared. Claire outright snickered.
Ray merely drawled, “Uninhibited, certainly.”
I stuck out my tongue and gave them both a loud raspberry. Then, before they could joke about that, I stood all stiff and said, “If we can be serious, my robot needs a heart to copy my personality into. A heart made of gold.”
Claire pursed her delicately glossed lips. “Expensive. How much gold?”
“Uhh.” I said, getting all technical. Holding up a fist, I tried again. “This much?”
Ray made a ‘hmmm’ noise. “Approximately one cup, fluid.”
Claire whipped out her phone, and tapped away at it. “Cups to weight, ten pounds. Five kilograms. Yowch. That’s nearly two hundred thousand dollars.”
I scrunched up my nose, remembering the hallowed ancient days of last year. “Didn’t we make about that much selling a block of gold the size I need, now? And we got extra from Spider.”
“Yes, but we spent most of that,” Claire reminded me.
We all politely failed to mention that Ray and Claire might have spent most of theirs. I hadn’t been able to touch it. Whatever I had on my own wouldn’t be enough for the gold I need, anyway.
Claire tapped her foot, one arm tucked under her chest to hold the other’s elbow so she could tap her chin. “Even if we get the money, finding that much gold to buy will be a struggle.”
“We could rob a lair,” mused Ray.
I put my hand to my forehead in exasperation. “Now I see why we mad scientists spend so much time and effort stealing from each other. But not this time. The can of worms it opened would derail my whole plan.”
Ray spread his hands. “We must find a way. What alternative do we have?”
And like that, my power answered the question. The words came out of my mouth with me barely taking part. “Steel. Get me steel. High-grade steel. No! Any iron will do. The Machine will refine steel to the quality I need. Hurry!”
My super power wanted this robot bad. It was a miracle I hadn’t been getting headaches keeping the idea restrained this long. Yes, the original design called for gold, but a second design hovered next to the first in the back of my head. Except for the materials, they looked identical to me. Yes, it needed good steel…
Thinking too hard about details would short out my power. I tried to clear my mind, and let it take control.
That ended with me in a completely different workroom, holding up a heart-shaped clock made of metal so shiny it was practically chrome.
“HA! AH ha ha ha! Take that, gold. You may be incorruptible, but my will deserves a heart of―” As my power let go, I lost track of what I was saying.
That must have been a clear signal, because Claire gave me an inquisitive, head-tilted stare. “Are we ready to activate the robot now? I want to meet Penny Two.”
“Not quite yet. Follow me.”
Striding imperiously, I led my minions through the twisty corridors of my lair to the summoning room. Pulling switches, I rolled the device into configuration for copying someone into an object. Just to make sure… yes, the mask wasn’t flush with the wood face. I wouldn’t be actually transferring myself, merely making a duplicate.
Glad that no one could hear my heart pounding, I stepped into the waiting arch, and gave Claire and Ray my haughtiest stare. “Buckle me in. The rest is up to you, minions.”
It took all my strength to stand still and not freak out as Ray lowered the rings around me, fixing the clamps into place around my arms, my skull, my waist, and my legs. These things did not kid around. I couldn’t budge them. It made sense that you would need someone to hold very, very still for a brain copying process, but still, every time a clamp shut, my spine ran with ice and my muscles twitched, wanting to bolt free.
Until Ray leered, leaned his face right up close to mine, and murmured, “This is an exciting new direction for our relationship, no?”
Duly considering the many illicit opportunities his question raised, I kicked him in the shin with my one un-restrained leg.
That got a wince, but also a snorting chuckle. My sense of triumphant vindication soothed over the nervousness of having that final leg clamped down.
From the central control stand holding the skull, Claire fluttered her lashes at us. “Are you two lovebirds finished? Can I throw the switch?”
I gave her a scolding glare. “No, because that would change modes. Lower that lid over the Heart of Steel, and turn the crank.”
While Claire pouted at me, Ray closed the bell-jar-like cover over said heart. Now, all that remained was for…
Claire turned the crank.
I felt absolutely nothing. Oh, the machine buzzed a bit, but the vibration clearly came from it, not me. When the buzz stopped, I said, “Okay, you’re done.”
“That’s it?”
I couldn’t nod, but I imagined nodding. “That’s it. Total anticlimax. Ray, can you let me out of this?”
“Only because Claire is watching,” he replied, grinning lasciviously.
The best friend in question held up both her hands. “Don’t mind me! I can go wait outside.”
With my head held in place, I couldn’t glare directly at her, but eventually they got the message. When Ray finally finished unlocking me, I gave him a thump on the forehead the ferocity of which probably fooled no one. Grabbing my new metal heart, I left them snickering and stormed back to the workshop where we’d left my former-mannequin-now-robot.
Just to punish them both, I slid the heart into its place inside the robot’s chest while before they caught up.
Of course, they were only a few steps behind me, and walked into the room as I closed the robot’s chest.
Claire sighed. “Another anticlimax.”
Ray eyed the robot more seriously. “Maybe. If Penny is waking up in there, she may need some comfort.”
The mannequin’s eyes closed, then opened. The face had its own convincing fake skin, so that looked downright natural. Her lips parted.
“HA!”
“Or, perhaps being a robot is quite enjoyable,” amended Ray.
“HA HA HA HA!”
As Robot Penny laughed, dread crawled across my skin. Maybe…
I reached for the chest hatch. The robot slapped my hand away. She was strong, too.
Oh, criminy. “Ray, hold her!”
Laughter bubbled in the robot’s voice, as if she really did breathe. “Hold me? Do you know what this body feels like? All my tiredness, all the distractions are gone!”
“Claire, the control chair, now!” I hissed through my teeth, giving her a grimace and a pointed look, hoping to both get her attention and not get the robot’s.
The first half of that plan went perfectly. Claire ran off down the corridor. The second half, not so much. Heart of Steel Penny shouted, “HA! My hearing is better than yours, too! I’m not going to let you―hey!”
Ray slid up behind her with snakelike grace, arms slipping up under hers and locking behind her neck in that wrestling hold, uhh… a full nelson? “I hate to lay hands on a lady, but you are staying here.” As flippant as his choice of words might be, he sounded grimly serious.
“Pffft. Oh, please. Hey, I sounded like Marcia, there. Ha! Wait until I show her. This new body doesn’t need healing. Watch!” Lunging forward, she yanked Ray off the ground.
It didn’t do her as much good as she expected. Ray kept his grip, while throwing his weight forward. That pulled the robot off her feet, and they both landed on Ray’s back.
Calmly, she grabbed his arms and pulled. No dice. She might be stronger than me, but Ray had actual superhum
an strength. When that failed, she kicked him in the knee, but he also had better reflexes. Again, robot might be better than puny me, but not up to real super standards. Ray jerked his knee up, deflecting the kick, and they struggled as he tried to pin her legs by wrapping them with his.
She seemed so calm. Oh, she grinned, and let out little laughs, but other than her air of evil glee, Robot Penny was all focus.
Too focused. When she went suddenly still, it was clear she’d forgotten all about the real threat, Claire.
Ray lay there, holding tightly onto the unresisting mannequin. Smart boy. What if she’d been playing possum? Note to self, in the incredibly unlikely event I’m ever in this position, play possum.
Pretending or not, it wouldn’t do her any good in a few seconds. Crouching down, trying to watch her arms and legs all at once, I fiddled open her chest hatch and popped the Heart of Steel free.
Thumping footsteps heralded Claire running back up the hall. She poked her head in, babbling, “You got it? You got it! It took me a minute to narrow the chair in on this robot. I forgot that the chair can control any machine. Then I had to find the shutdown button, which was the little one under the giant ‘self destruct’ button. Except that one was greyed out.”
“Maybe that’s the function Penny didn’t get to complete.” Ray picked himself smoothly up off the floor, brushing dirt off his T-shirt and slacks with one hand, while the other positioned the mannequin in a… well, mannequin-y pose.
Then they both finally noticed my expression.
“What?” they asked together.
Staring at the steel heart, I slapped my palm against my forehead. “What was I thinking? If the recipe calls for a Heart of Gold, you never, ever, use a substitute! This is how rampaging monsters happen.”
“It almost was,” Ray noted, amused now that the danger had passed.
“What will you do with the heart?” asked Claire, stepping up to me to examine the lumpy, clock-faced thing.
Please Don't Tell My Parents I Have A Nemesis Page 19
