“I’ll be honest with you, Lila,’’ she went on as if I said nothing and the strange tone in her voice had me looking up. She was watching me with thinly veiled contempt, but there was also a hint of something else I couldn’t place. “When you first arrived, while you were undisciplined and lacking any sense of courtesy and manners, your intelligence and pride made you an incredible asset for Carter Manor. Unfortunately, you’ve shown less than stellar attitude when your results during your formation have been the best I had seen in years. You’re a little bit of a conundrum and strangely enough, while you can be unpredictable and I’m not sure of what will come out of this, Mr. Grimes is set on having you as his wife.’’
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out as the implication of her words started to sink in.
Wife.
Mr. Grimes’ wife.
I shook my head slowly and gripped my thighs to stop my hands from visibly shaking. “What?’’
Mrs. Stein’s lips pursed at my lack of manner, once again, but when in shock she couldn’t possibly expect me to muster up some kind of appropriate reaction.
“In two months you’ll become Mrs. Grimes and I hope you don’t make him regret his choice in the matter, Lila.’’ She kept quiet the fact that it would reflect badly on Carter Manor, but I didn’t care right now and didn’t go out of my way to point that out. I couldn’t process her words. How come he decided to marry me when I mouthed off at him? What kind of sick man wanted that?
“Mrs. Stein, I think there must be a mistake.’’
She linked her fingers on top of her antique desk and sighed as if already over this conversation. “There is no mistake, Lila. I already contacted Mrs. Lawson in Manhattan to start planning the wedding. Mr. Grimes asked me to tell you to pick whichever wedding dress you wanted, without a look at the budget. Now go and start looking.’’
Without another word I stood up on weak legs and left the office, my Louboutin high heels precarious when everything in me was shaking. I was engaged to a man I barely spent ten minutes with.
***
LILA
“You’re so lucky, Lila,’’ Jane said, a dream-like smile on her heart-shaped face as she toyed with a blonde strand. At barely twenty and fairly new to Carter Manor, she still had a fairy tale conception of what it’s like here. She hadn’t realized yet how much of a sordid affair everything was.
“Really, Jane?’’ I shook my head and sipped my tea, welcoming this short break from looking for a wedding dress in all the catalogues the Manor had for this purpose. With Mrs. Stein breathing down my neck and the stress over finally getting married, I had a hard time sleeping at night and I had never had such a good use of concealer before. “I met for ten minutes with Mr. Grimes and it didn’t end on a good note. I don’t understand how come I’m marrying the man and I don’t see how I could stay in the same room as him for any length of time so…’’ I couldn’t bring myself to thinking of the wedding night and all the other nights he might want me to fulfill my marital duty. I felt like I would turn into some kind of pricey escort and it made me sick.
“Oh come on,’’ she whispered and leaned closer so the other women wouldn’t hear us. “He’s young and Samantha saw him when he left and she told me he’s hot. You’re lucky. Most of us are going to end up with some old man.’’
For the first time since Jane walked in Carter Manor with stars in her eyes, I saw the cracks in the veneer of the painting she had of this place. I didn’t know her well, but her fresh outlook and her candor sometimes had helped me from turning bitter these past few months when my birthday loomed, getting closer and closer.
“It’s better to end up with a nice old man than a young asshole,’’ I mumbled and took the last sip in my tea cup. Mrs. Stein was probably close by and if she wasn’t, one of the maids probably had her eyes on me to report to the despicable woman to get me back to my duty of utmost importance: finding the perfect wedding dress. That was the only thing I had to do for this wedding, but it was daunting all the same.
“You told me yourself you only spent ten minutes with him. I’m sure he’s great once you get to know him. For all you know, you could very well fall in love with him.’’
I wanted to burst her bubble and shake her to wake her up to this reality, but I was starting to wonder if it wasn’t only a façade, something she put on to protect herself and keep going. I knew she went through hell before Mrs. Stein met her and I could only empathize.
“Miss Hodge, you’re expected in the blue salon. The stylist you requested arrived,’’ one of the maids, a new one quite young for such a post here, said softly next to me as she gathered our empty tea cups and the tea pot made of the finest china that was probably as old as the Manor.
“Thank you.’’ I sighed when she turned around and left. I locked eyes with Jane. “I have to go. Good luck with your French lesson this afternoon. Monsieur Albert can be ruthless.’’
She grimaced and nodded, obviously reluctant to go to her first French lesson after hearing from all of us how much we all despised the old French gentleman. I gently patted her shoulder and left the white salon, the biggest of the Manor where many small tables were scattered for us, the dolls, to get together for tea, to socialize and also for the weekly meeting with Mrs. Stein. With my head held high, I ignored some of the ladies who were glaring at me covertly, probably some of them jealous I got to marry a man close to my age instead of some old sick man, but they had no idea how much I’d rather be in their shoes. I walked out of the white salon, my dress inspired by one Pierre Balmain from 1953 moving around me following the same rhythm of my feet clad Yves Saint Laurent black flats. Down the hall, I quickly located the door to the blue salon and pushed it open.
I hadn’t taken more than two steps before the young woman on the blue Louis XV couch sprung to her feet and turned around to face me. The smile on her face showed how nervous she was and it immediately made her sympathetic to me. With her long auburn hair falling freely down her back and her curvy body in trendy black leggings and a cream sweater dress, she seemed out of place from the usual people showing at the Manor. It only endeared her further to me. I guessed, somehow asking her to come for a wedding dress consultation was a tiny rebellious move on my part, mostly against Mrs. Stein as my betrothed probably had no care in the matter of what I was currently doing, as long as it didn’t reflect badly on him. Once I would no longer be Lila Hodge, but Lila Grimes, it would be another story.
“Miss Garber, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Lila Hodge.’’ I extended a hand and she promptly took mine to shake, putting more strength in her grip than necessary, but I said nothing. I didn’t want to sound like a second in command to Mrs. Stein when in reality I didn’t care how she treated my hand or how properly she should or shouldn’t behave with me.
“It’s nice to meet you, Miss Hodge,’’ she quickly said and sat back on the Louis XV couch as I took a seat in one of the matching chairs on the opposite side to the small coffee table. Everything in the blue salon was, as its name described it, blue. The rug under our feet was made of different shades of blue and some white, the couch and chairs had the same blue fabric imported from France and the only other furniture, the small coffee table had a light brown tint I couldn’t place, but it obviously matched to perfection the other pieces of furniture. The room was perfect and the few seaside paintings only completed the summery feel of this small salon.
“I’m aware that your work is mostly formal dresses, but I read somewhere that you used to work for a well-respected wedding dress shop. I hope you don’t mind that I had you come meet me.’’
She smiled brightly at me and quickly shook her head. “I’m happy to be here.’’
She sounded like someone eager to please and I recognized her as pretty desperate to win a new client. In a way, I would like to warn her to not show her cards so easily, but I liked that for once I was meeting someone who didn’t have another agenda than the obvious. It was refreshing and helped me relax. If
her designs weren’t already appealing, she made me want to work with her.
“Very well,’’ I said with a soft smile. “Would you like something to drink before we start?’’
“Oh, no, thank you.’’
“Fine. I don’t know if you were made aware, but I’m engaged to Mr. Grimes. He’s…’’
“Rather famous in the business world. I saw the news in the papers.’’ She smiled and grabbed a heavy binder from next to her to put in her lap, her hands gripping it so tightly her knuckles turned white.
“Of course.’’ When the papers were delivered two days ago and the news regarding our engagement was plastered there, it only became all the more real that I was trapped in this mess and I had no way out. The whole country knew of my engagement to him and while very few displayed my picture, of course delivered by Carter Manor, it only made it more of a reality. I cleared my throat and focused back on the task at hand because while I didn’t want to get married to Mathis Grimes, it was happening and I wanted to look my best doing so. That would be the only childhood dream I could incline in; the beautiful wedding dress.
“Miss Garber, I’m now looking for a wedding dress and while I perused more than my fair share of designers catalogs without finding something that caught my attention, I remembered the dress you made for that actress for the last Canne Festival. It was striking.’’
“Oh well, thank you. That dress was probably my best work to date,’’ she replied humbly, her round cheeks turning a light pink under her foundation. “I’d be happy to make some drawings for your wedding dress.’’
“That would be great. I’d like to see what you could come up with, but I must warn you. My wedding is in one month and three weeks.’’
“It’s not a problem at all.’’
She was too quick to accommodate me and it only made me sure of the fact that she wasn’t working as much as she’d like and need. The poor woman was probably going through a hard period with her business.
I smiled at her and pushed a few strands of brown hair behind my ear. “That’s good. For a start, I’m aware that picking a dress depends on someone’s figure, so I’d like to hear what you think would best suit me.’’
Her brown eyes went to detail my form and I briefly wondered if I shouldn’t stand up, but then thought twice of it. It was a first meeting and I was sure she had a good eye without going into the details of my measurements just yet.
“You have a lovely figure, Miss Hodge. Many different designs could suit you, but I think it would be best to avoid a plunging low cut.’’
I glanced down at my breasts and nodded. “Yes, it could easily become vulgar for a wedding. And what of my hips? They’re rather round.’’
“They’re perfectly in proportion to the rest of your body. You can easily rock a design that would stick to your curves without it turning distasteful as long as we pick the right fabric. A shimmery fabric would probably accentuate your curves too much if you decide on a siren design for example.’’
“Interesting. What else?’’
She gnawed on her plush lip and quickly opened the binder on her knees, going through the pages so quickly that I wondered how she could possibly see anything. Then, she stopped at a page and promptly opened it to retrieve the page and extended it to me. “This is not a wedding dress, but it’s a design that is both modern and classic. If we make the back longer, but keep the front short to show your legs and use some lace for some details, I think—‘’
“Oh no,’’ I shook my head slowly after a quick check of the picture in my hands. It showed a purple dress longer on the back and rather short on the front with a bateau neckline. It was splendid, but I couldn’t picture myself with a wedding dress inspired by this. “I’m sorry, but while I’m open to many things for the dress, I can’t picture myself with a short wedding dress or feathers. I draw the line there.’’
I give the picture back and she quickly put it in the binder again. “Long and without feathers. Got it,’’ she said and produced a leather notebook from her purse and a pen to quickly scribble some notes. “Is there a fabric you absolutely love?’’
“I’m open to anything, Miss Garber. I don’t want to hinder your creativity. I believe this is another great opportunity to get your name out there and show off your talent. Go overboard, make this wedding dress unforgettable. I want…’’ God, that was the only thing I had any real leeway on and if I had to marry, then I’d rather do it with the kind of wedding dress I knew I would never regret wearing, no matter how the rest of my life went. “I want the kind of dress that will forever stay with me.’’
Her soft smile at the sudden exposure of a part of my feelings had me uncomfortable, but I was saved by a few discreet knocks at the door before the salon’s door opened to the same maid that led me here. My eyes immediately fell to her hands where she held a small box topped by a big white bow and an envelope.
“I’m sorry to interrupt, Miss Hodge, but this came from your fiancé.’’ She quickly came to me and gave me the present and envelope. I barely felt the items in my hands, so stunned to hear from Mr. Grimes and in such a manner. I hadn’t had any contact with him since our ten minute interview last week and with the way it ended I hadn’t thought I’d hear from him before the big day. I didn’t want to hear from him before the big day.
“Thank you.’’ My eyes landed on the box and the envelope now in my lap. Confusion warred with curiosity as I had a hard time tearing my eyes off the box and focus again on Miss Garber. The maid had left quietly and the good manner would be to resume my meeting with the stylist, but the burning need to know what this box contained emptied my mind.
“This is very romantic,’’ she said, a smile stretching her lips in an innocence I’d love to still feel.
Romantic. That word almost made me laugh. There was nothing romantic about Mr. Grimes and my engagement to him. Nothing. It was merely a business arrangement where I was the asset he was purchasing. Sordid could be a good term to use.
“Indeed,’’ I said, lying through my teeth. My fingers tightened around the box, flattening the bow. I needed to shorten this meeting. I couldn’t spend any more time wondering what this was and why he sent me a parcel. I also wanted to know what he wrote and if he would be as despicable as he had been during that interview. Sometimes, a letter could be very deceiving regarding one’s character. “Do you think you could work on a few designs to show me in say… two days? Of course, your expenses will all be taken care of and your time will be well-compensated.’’
“Hm… Yeah, I mean, yes of course.’’ She cleared her throat and slid the heavy looking binder back in her purse. “I’ll be back with a few drawings and we will see what works for you. Of course, I’ll show you some fabric samples too.’’
“Good, very good.’’ I stood up and she followed me to the salon’s door. “I’m sorry to cut our meeting short, Miss Garber, but I trust your good eye and your creative sense. You have talent and I look forward to see what you can come up with.’’
“Thank you again for this chance.’’
I shook her hand and opened the door. “Same time in two days, then?’’
She nodded and adjusted her purse on her shoulder. “It works for me.’’
I turned to the left and located a maid that was walking towards us. “Could you please escort Miss Garber back to the front door? Let Mrs. Stein know that Miss Garber will be back in two days for another meeting with me and that we will need the blue salon again.’’
“Yes, Miss Hodge.’’
“Thank you.’’
As soon as they started walking away I went back in and closed the door, hoping that I could have a few minutes of privacy to finally see what this box and envelope was about.
I went back to the chair and sat, promptly snatching the box from the coffee table. I debated between opening the letter first or the box, but the box won. Slowly, I untied the bow and opened the lid of the box. My eyes widened when I saw what was inside.
A blue-green box with the writing Tiffany & Co. on top.
I grabbed the smaller box, a jewelry box, really. It was strange, but somehow my stomach was tying itself into knots. I opened the lid and gasped.
“What the…’’
Inside, the most beautiful engagement ring I had ever seen was blinding me. On a platinum thin band stood a solitaire cut diamond with light blue reflections and countless smaller diamonds of the purest white making almost lace-like designs, so delicate around the diamond. It was stunning and light looking in spite of the significant size of the diamond at the center.
With a lot of effort, I stared back at the coffee table where the cream envelope contrasted on top of it. I leaned forward and snatched the envelope, all the while keeping a tight grip on the box with the engagement ring inside. I made quick work of the envelope and found a nondescript page of some expensive paper considering the weight of it, folded in two.
Miss Hodge,
Tradition called for an engagement ring. I hope this one is to your appreciation.
I will be visiting next week.
M. Grimes
That was all. The knots in my stomach quickly untied themselves. If there was always a reminder that this was only a façade, this short note was perfect to act as a reminder.
My eyes fell again on the engagement ring. I pursed my lips and folded the note again and discarded it on the coffee table. Once it’s done and the first box and the bow were on the table too, I pulled the ring out of the jewelry box to inspect it more closely.
It was stunning without being gaudy. I had no idea if he had been the one to pick it or if an assistant did, but that person had good taste.
I slipped it on my finger and it fit to perfection, weighing on my finger. It was a foreign feeling. I put my hand in front of me and stared at the ring on my finger.
That ring was beautiful, but it was also the symbol of the leash tying me to a man I couldn’t stand, a man I had to marry, a man I had to have sex with at some point. In three weeks, I wouldn’t be Lila Hodge, I wouldn’t be myself anymore. I would become Mrs. Mathis Grimes and nothing more.
Be A Doll: A Carter Manor Novel Page 3
