I thrust harder, faster. I groaned so fucking loud my whole damn chest vibrated, or maybe it was my heart trying to carve itself an escape through my ribcage. I didn’t know, all I knew were the sensations fucking this woman awakened in me.
Her fingers bit into the muscles in my back, pulling me closer to her until I pressed against her breasts and our mouths, open, shared the same moans, the same curses.
“Harder,’’ she breathed out between moans, arching her back against the wall and pushing her pussy harder into me and clenching around me so hard she almost made me come on the spot. But I wasn’t finished with her. Far from it.
I pulled out of her and set her back on her feet. She leaned against the wall, her trembling legs barely holding her up as her eyes fell to my hard cock up between us, so damn red and leaking that it was obvious I wouldn’t need much more to come.
“On your knees and your ass up in the air for me.’’
Her eyes went to mine. I waited for her to question me, but she jutted out her small chin and did as I asked without a word. And damn, I didn’t know if I was glad she didn’t protest or disappointed she complied. One thing was sure though, there was one thing left I needed to strip her of; her attitude.
She turned to face the stairs and my eyes went immediately to her ass, round and perfect, the kind I wanted to worship with my mouth, and teeth. I swallowed and watched her kneel on the second step, her hands flat on the fourth step, and her ass…
Slowly, her ass went up in the air and like two beacons I saw nothing else. Biting my lips, I went behind her, standing shamelessly with my cock hard, bobbing with my steps. I breathed deeply when the head of my cock touched her shoulder and she shivered. I pulled her hair back and watched her throat work when she swallowed. I ran a finger along her neck, stopping at her pulse point to feel the way her heart hammered like mine.
“Knees apart,” I instructed her, and put a hand under her chin, spreading my fingers over her throat and pulling her head up. She complied and when her knees were far enough apart for my liking I nodded once. “Good.’’
I leaned down and kissed her deeply, briefly, just enough to get my blood pumping and my cock begging to go back to her delicious heat and the vise grip of her pussy. I straightened up, breath short and gave her my smirk I knew made her mad and it didn’t fail. Her eyes narrowed on me again, but I didn’t miss the way she bit on her lip or the way the muscles in her thighs tensed.
I stood behind her and stared at her naked back, her spine delicate and a straight line right down the middle of her back. I fixed on her smooth skin, fair and shining from a thin coat of sweat. And then, then I lost myself in her ass, up in the air, offered to me with her glistening pussy. I didn’t try and keep my groan inside. I let it out, let her know what kind of effects her naked body did to me.
“Don’t move now,’’ I said sternly and ran a finger along her spine before I settled my hands on her hips, holding her in place as I knelt behind her. The cold floor against my knees didn’t register, all that registered was her wet pussy against the tip of my cock.
Damn it, before today, I had never taken a woman bare, too fucking scared they’d play a trick on me and trap me with a kid. I didn’t regret my choice, but now that I had had Lila bare, I couldn’t go back. She had already held my attention and nobody else, but now it was worse. Nothing else could ever compare to this and that scared me shitless.
I closed my eyes, clenched my hands on her hips and thrust into her, hard and so deep I grunted.
“Mathis,’’ she moaned and my cock swelled inside her at hearing my name again coming from her mouth.
I pulled back almost completely and thrust back inside her, pulling her hips toward me at the same time. Her hands slipped over the fourth step. “Hold on! Fuck, hold on, Lila,’’ I said through gritted teeth and fucked her harder, faster, her moans and my name in her mouth spurring me on.
Sweat pooled down my back, my temples and neck and I watched some droplets falling on her back, mixing with her own sweat. I leaned down and bit on the crook of her neck, grunted against her skin and not once did I stop fucking her. I couldn’t.
Her head fell between her shoulders and she moaned louder. “Again. Bite me again,’’ she urged me and my hips shot faster at her demand.
Eyes closed, I sunk my teeth into her again and then, right when I licked and kissed the marks left by my teeth on her perfect flesh, she detonated. She clenched around my cock, fluttering first, and then tightening around me until a strangled grunt and then a loud moan left my throat. I started to thrust into her erratically, unable to control my movements as my fingers tightened so much on her hips I knew I’d leave marks and it only intensified things for me, along with my name repeated again and again as she kept on coming, clenching around my cock and I burst.
“Oh fuck! Yeah, Lila!’’
My cock swelled and then I emptied inside her, so long I didn’t know when it’d stop. And then, it finally did.
Her walls were still fluttering, this time gently, around my cock as I pushed against her back, holding my body with my arms on the fifth step. Breathing loud and fast, I barely heard her own scattered breath, but the way her back heaved and the shaking coursing through her were signs of how shaken up she was after her orgasm, much like I was.
My skin slipped over hers from the sweat and I was still inside of her, softening but getting all the sensations from her pussy I could get until I pulled back and watched my cum leaking from her swollen pussy. I reached out, my ass on my heels, and traced her slit. She mewled and tried escaping my touch.
“Sensitive?’’ I asked calmly, no trace of my anger left.
“What do you think,’’ she retorted, but the bite in her words was absent as exhaustion seemed to take over.
I hummed and took a deep breath, enjoying the way my limbs felt heavy, the way my muscles had melted. My mind too was relaxed like it rarely was, if ever.
I ran my hand down the back of her left thigh and then leaned over her to place a quick kiss on the small of her back.
The calm, that moment when you just had the best fuck of your life and your body was left spent and sated, was broken then.
As soon as my lips left her small back, she stiffened.
What the hell was I doing?
I blinked and pulled back until I wasn’t touching her anymore. She didn’t turn around. She stayed on the steps, her knees firmly planted on the second step and her hands on the fourth. I watched her shoulders slowly tensing again, heard her breathing slowing down.
Frowning, I stood up and turned around to put on my underwear and grabbed our clothes. She glanced at me over her shoulder and stared at her clothes balled into my left hand. Without saying anything I extended them to her. She snatched them from me with a frown of her own and I turned around to make my way to my study without a look back.
Once past the threshold, I closed the door loudly, leaned heavily against it and dropped my clothes to the floor.
It was one thing to angry fuck my wife without a condom, it was something else to kiss her gently in a sign of affection.
What was I doing? What had my life become?
***
LILA
Clothes in hands, legs shaky and his cum all over the inside of my thighs, I came back to life only when I heard the door to his office. My eyes fell down to my hands gripping my clothes in a big, messy ball.
How come I went from distant with him, to fighting, slapping him and getting naked to being fucked against the wall and then the stairs? Who had that kind of a relationship with a man?
I shivered, getting cold now that my sweat was drying on my skin and without Mathis’ heat to warm me. I needed to put clothes on, but first… I needed to clean myself.
With a heavy heart and heavier steps, I slowly climbed the stairs, cringing when I felt how sore I was. Even the muscles in my ass were sending small shocks of pain through my body.
In the bedroom, I bee lined for the bathroom afte
r haphazardly throwing my clothes in the hamper and got in the shower before the first drops of water hit the floor of the Italian shower. I closed my eyes when the heat of the water seeped through me, easing the sudden tension in my back that had appeared when I realized what I had done with Mathis.
But I couldn’t keep my eyes closed, not when all I could think of was the way he took me, working me up to a frenzy. My skin was still sensitive and when I ran my hands over my hips to clean myself I felt the invisible bruises left by Mathis’ fingers when he thrust into me from behind. I opened my eyes and turned off the water. I stood there in the shower, facing the stark white tiled wall.
Back when I still believed in love and that sex always brought people closer together, I had been vastly disappointed by men who used me, played with my feelings to discard me once they were done playing with my body. My heart had been bruised, my trust shattered and after a few failures it made me realize that being naïve wouldn’t protect me. On the contrary, not once did I ever feel quite like I felt at that very moment.
I was drifting.
I knew, I had known as soon as I folded and decided to have sex with him that I couldn’t go back, that I wouldn’t go back. Mathis intoxicated me, making me an addict to the sensations he awakened in me, he coaxed out of me. That wouldn’t be so bad if only he wasn’t able to hurt me. That biting comment in the kitchen earlier tonight truly hurt me and it wouldn’t have if somehow he hadn’t found a way to reach the tender part in me I had thought were solidly protected behind shields. I should have been merely angry, not hurt.
And that moment when he kissed the small of my back on the stairs…
I shook my head and left the shower, quickly drying my body to put on blue silk pants and a white fitted cotton shirt for bed. One quick glance in the misty mirror and I saw my eyes, wide as if I had witnessed something dreadful. In a sense, it was true. I came face to face with the realization that I was weaker than I thought, that I was letting Mathis get to me beyond the physical and it started when I saw him breaking down Sunday. It wasn’t love and couldn’t picture myself falling in love with him, but I was afraid that attachment could happen. Attachment was in the realm of possibility, something that shouldn’t be.
My lips were still swollen and dark pink from Mathis’ kisses and one side of my neck was redder, probably from his stubble and his bites. I put a hand there on my tender skin. As soon as my fingertips came into contact with my flesh I shivered and dropped my hand.
“Damn it,’’ I muttered and left the bathroom with only the memory of his soft kiss on the small of my back in mind. That was completely contradictory to who Mathis was and the situation we were in. I couldn’t think of going to bed now, pushing this aside as if it didn’t happen.
I went back downstairs, my hand gliding along the wall and I stopped a moment where we had had sex. My eyes fell to the steps where I had knelt and braced myself and then my eyes went to the wall where he first entered me. Without a condom.
I swallowed and thanked my lucky stars for birth control and the test results we both had to undertake for the wedding ceremony. At least, that wasn’t something I had to worry about for now.
I took another deep breath, settling my heartbeats and then stalked to Mathis’ office. The door was closed, as expected, and I heard no sounds coming from inside. After finding him in there on Sunday, I knew it was his place to hide, to protect himself and hole up. The way he had stared at the picture of him and his twin brother told me this office was his safe place, the only space that was truly his now that I moved in.
I placed a hand against the door and stared at the panel, unsure if I should knock or not. Maybe we both needed some time to cool off. We butted heads so much that I didn’t know if talking now and addressing issues was smart or not, but I usually preferred to get the uneasy things out of the way as soon as possible instead of dwelling and letting it fester until it exploded into nasty vitriol.
Then, I heard something. It sounded like Mathis was leaning against the door on the floor and moved around, shifting against the closed door. My eyes fell to the floor and I knocked, the sound loud to my ears as I focused all of my attention to perceive every sound from inside. He didn’t answer, didn’t move either.
“I know you’re in here,’’ I said, my voice subdued. It was one thing to face a distant Mathis or an angry Mathis, but it was something else to have a mute husband hidden away in his study.
“What do you want?’’ he asked, voice low coming from closer to the floor. It told me he was sitting on the floor and leaning against the door.
“Let me in. It feels like I’m talking to a wall.’’
“You’re the one asking to talk,’’ he said. He sounded distracted, as if he was lost in thought. The time it took him to say something only made it clear that he wasn’t interested in talking if the closed door hadn’t already made it clear.
I leaned forward and put my forehead against the door, closing my eyes and listening closely to the sounds coming from inside the office. They were very few and discreet, but I still heard it when he sighed, when he moved his head against the door, probably changing position.
“You weren’t wrong,’’ I said quietly, my voice so feeble I cringed. I didn’t sound like myself, but in a way I hadn’t sounded as much as like myself in years. I temporarily stripped myself of pretenses and my bravado to let out the frightened girl who had spent years of her life finding ways to survive in seemingly one piece.
“About what?’’
My right hand trailed up against the smooth door and stopped next to my face. “I’m scared to death to end up in the streets with no food, no clothes, no nothing.’’ I swallowed through the boulder in my throat making my voice duller. “I’m pathetic and I have no courage.’’
His humorless laugh reached my ears and my stomach tightened at the throaty sound.
“I’m full of shit, Lila. You were right not listening to me and telling me to go to hell.’’
“Open the door, Mathis,’’ I said again, this time louder. It didn’t sound like him to show remorse. Worry filled me as I remembered how truly broken he looked after the altercation with his father last Sunday. He might be thirty-two-years-old and had never needed someone when he holed up in his office, but I was here now. I couldn’t turn my back on a man who hadn’t done anything to me but be an entitled ass. That wasn’t a crime.
“Leave. Me. Alone. I’m used to having my own damn space, Lila. I want that fucking space right now.’’
“Why?’’ I asked, my left hand closing around the doorknob without turning it. Anger surged inside me, killing off the worry I felt seconds before. That man made me feel too many emotions at once, rendering me a mess of feelings I had a hard time following or understanding. “Do you always find the need to hide when you feel emotions, Mathis? Does it bother you that much to be seen as something other than cold and distant?’’
“Don’t start with me,’’ he retorted, moving again and this time, it sounded like he was getting up, but he didn’t unlock the door.
“It’s not nice when someone uncovers the truth, right?’’
“Shit!’’ He opened the door at once, startling me when the doorknob left my hand with no warning. He was seething. His nostrils flared, his dark eyes sent daggers my way while his bare chest heaved from his hard breathing. He was still wearing only his underwear and even when his cock wasn’t hard his crotch was something to be seen. “What do you want, woman? You should be upstairs getting your beauty sleep after the mad sex we had.’’
I frowned and crossed my arms over my braless chest and for once I didn’t care using such a defensive position. We were both past pretenses here. “Oh come on! Just one orgasm isn’t going to put me to sleep. Don’t flatter yourself.’’
“Is that a challenge?’’
His cocky smirk made an appearance then. I shook my head and glared harder at him, but he didn’t move one inch. He still had one hand on the door and the other against t
he wall as if to keep me from walking in the office. That was probably his intent.
“You’re really good at pushing people away and hiding behind that smirking front or cold behavior depending on the situation.’’ I stared at him from his head down to his feet and I would lie if I said that staring at his mostly bare body didn’t do something to me, but it wasn’t what was first on my mind and my annoyance at him was too strong to let myself be swayed by his sexy body and muscles galore. “When are you going to stop this?’’ His silence was a dare for me to go farther, unless it was a warning not to, but I didn’t heed either one. “You hurt your mother. Your sister is begging for any kind of attention from you and you have everything everybody would love to have.’’
The muscles in his arms bunched. “I have everything?’’ His humorless laugh drew out a shiver along my spine and I tightened my arms in front of me, shy of hugging myself in comfort or reassurance. “My better fucking half died in the ocean because of me!’’ His loud voice cracked through the night. “All of this,’’ he gestured around with an arm, releasing his grip on the door, “it should be my brother’s. I had no interest in business before he died, only in having fun and slacking off at school. I didn’t give a damn about the money or the power or the damn monkey suits.’’ His labored breathing sounded painful to my ears and my heart lurched in my chest at the pain I heard in his voice and at seeing his big body trembling. “I didn’t care about having a desk job, didn’t want a wife with manners to show off to business dinners. I didn’t care about being the fucking shit at work because all I wanted was my damn family and to laugh and have fun! I only wanted a laid back life and I know that if Max hadn’t died, that’s exactly what I would have. I wouldn’t be Mathis Grimes, CEO of GM Enterprises, business mogul and coldhearted asshole.’’ He ran a hand through his hair in distress and he shook so much I took a step toward him, but he stepped back and shook his head, his eyes hard on me, but also empty. “Max would have been a fantastic business man,’’ he went on, this time with a calmer voice. “He was a straight A student, he loved studying and was fascinated with business. He wanted to work with our father and get an apartment overlooking Central Park one day. He wanted to be married to a nice wife with the best education, probably someone quiet and not necessarily the heart of the party. He would have made both our parents proud.’’
Be A Doll: A Carter Manor Novel Page 23
