Liam’s blue eyes lit up. Relief swept across his features. “So you do remember something? You remember Aidan?”
She shook her head, her long hair swirling about her shoulders. “No, I don’t. I’ve been wearing this. At first I thought it might be my name even though it sounded masculine.” She held up the necklace that had been hidden from sight under her winter coat. The name Aidan had been etched on the gold pendant in flowery script.
Emotion flickered in his eyes. “I gave that to you as a birthday gift. You wore it every day without fail.”
“What does it mean? Who is Aidan?” she asked, voicing the question she’d been asking herself for two years. The necklace had become important to her—it had been the only tangible thing tying her to the life she couldn’t remember.
Liam seemed to be searching her eyes for clues. “He’s our child, Ruby. Yours and mine.”
Child. Hearing that single word served as a kick in the gut. She had often wondered if she was a mother. If she was being completely honest with herself, she had known deep down in her soul that she was somebody’s mama. She remembered bits and pieces. Nothing more than fragments.
The smell of talcum powder. Cradling a newborn in her arms. Singing a soothing lullaby. A tuft of dark hair.
She sank back down into the chair, overwhelmed by the knowledge that Aidan was her son. “How old is he?” she asked, her voice a notch above a whisper. It felt strange asking questions about her own child. But she wanted to know. She needed answers.
“He’ll be five in a few weeks,” Liam said. A hint of a smile played around his lips.
“Five,” she said with a nod. “That’s a great age.” Why had she just blurted that out? What did she know about five-year-olds?
“He’s a wonderful boy. You’d be proud of him,” Liam said. “You two used to be inseparable.”
Ruby had no idea what to say to that. It hurt terribly to know that she couldn’t remember precious moments with her own flesh and blood. A child she had carried in her womb and given birth to and nurtured. A boy who had been emotionally tied to her. Pain unlike any she’d ever felt before ricocheted through her. She had felt lost ever since she’d woken up in Colorado with no memories of who she was or where she belonged. Although she hadn’t thought it possible to feel more agony, finding out about her son and husband filled her with a sense of yearning to fill all the holes in her memory.
They must have loved her, and in return, she must have loved them back.
Lord, please help me. I’ve been stumbling around in the dark for so long. But now a big bright light is being shined on my past and yet I feel nothing but confusion. I’m still uncertain about who I am and where I’m going. I’m a mother and a wife, but I’m not sure I know how to be either of those things.
Liam shoved his hand through his hair. He let out a huff of air and exchanged a look filled with hidden meaning with the sheriff. “Aidan. I have to bring you to see him, Ruby. He prays for you every night.”
Ruby raised her hand to her trembling lips. Just thinking about a little boy uttering prayers for her was enough to make her come undone. He’s not just any little boy, her voice buzzed in her head. He’s your son. Your flesh and blood. That raised the stakes even higher.
She shook her head as a tidal wave of emotions rolled over her. Trudy and Ezra had been concerned about this very thing happening. They had wanted to make the trip with her, but after two years of being under their wing, she had needed to do something without their sheltering arms.
But everything was rushing at her now, like a freight train at maximum speed. Suddenly she started taking rapid breaths of air. It felt like she couldn’t breathe. She folded her arms around her stomach and began deeply breathing in and out.
“Ruby! Are you all right?” Liam took the final few steps toward her, quickly swallowing up the distance between them. She felt his hands touching her. There was something comforting about his hands resting on her shoulders. It was the oddest thing, since he was technically a stranger to her, and she always felt wary of people she didn’t know.
“It might be a good idea to give her some space,” Boone said to Liam. “This could be very overwhelming for her,” he explained, casting Ruby a concerned glance.
With a begrudging look on his face, Liam took a few steps back. Boone followed suit.
“If you’re not feeling well, I can get you something to drink or take you to my clinic,” Liam said. “I’m a doctor here in town.”
Liam was a doctor? She shouldn’t be surprised by the news. He exuded a kind and authoritative air. It wasn’t hard to imagine him treating patients or calming a distraught child who needed shots. Ruby didn’t know whether there was a part of her that was remembering something from the past or whether it was strictly her imagination, but a picture of Liam outfitted in a white lab coat, a stethoscope hanging around his neck, flashed before her eyes.
“I’m fine,” Ruby said. “I think everything is just catching up to me.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “The plane ride. Being back here. I know you’re saying this is where I’m from, but I feel like a newborn filly finding its legs.”
“Ruby, I know this can’t be easy for you, but this is a blessing for our family. God answered our prayers.” He locked eyes with her. “And now I need to bring you back home where you belong so you can reunite with Aidan.”
Oh, no! She didn’t think she was quite ready for that. Ruby wanted to see her child, but she was terrified. What would she say to him? Would he expect her to be a certain way or hold him in a special manner? She didn’t know a single thing about being a mother.
“I hadn’t planned on anything like this,” she said lamely. “I—I don’t know what I would say to him. How do I explain that I don’t remember him?”
“If you don’t face this, you might never really be able to move forward.” Liam’s voice held an intensity that reverberated throughout the room. “Part of that is meeting your son.”
Ruby bit her lip. A feeling of anxiety swept over her. Had coming to Love been a huge mistake? Everything was happening so quickly. In a matter of minutes her life had dramatically changed, so much so that she wasn’t sure she could keep up with all the shifts.
“Can Ruby and I have a moment alone?” Liam asked, looking over at the sheriff, who nodded before stepping out of the room.
Once they were alone, Ruby felt a sudden shyness take over. This tall, good-looking man with the soulful, intense eyes was her husband. He belonged to her. And she to him. The weight of it settled over her like a warm blanket. Even though she couldn’t remember him or any specific details about their life together, she felt a tremendous pull in his direction that shook her to her very core. She fought against a sudden impulse to run all the way back to Colorado where she’d been safe from this gorgeous, rugged man who seemed to want the world from her.
Chapter Two
Once they were alone, Liam took a moment to simply gaze at his wife. She was even more beautiful than before, he realized. If that was even remotely possible. Since the very first time he had laid eyes on her, he’d believed that Ruby was the loveliest woman in the world. She had the type of beauty that turned heads. Her warm brown eyes had always showed him her truths. Now, he couldn’t see anything radiating from their russet depths but fear.
And it killed him that instead of making her feel safe, his presence brought her anxiety. Hadn’t Ruby always sought him out for love and protection? At least she had until the last few weeks before the accident in Colorado. He’d never admitted it to a single person, but his marriage had been coming apart at the seams. They had fought over the dangers of her occupation and Liam’s desire to have her close to home rather than flying out on rescue missions. Now, with Ruby’s memory loss, he was still the only person who knew she had asked for a separation before heading to Colorado.
“
You can trust me, Ruby. I’m not going to do anything to hurt you,” he said, moving toward her slowly so as not to startle her. At the moment she resembled a deer caught in the headlights. His insides twisted painfully at the sight of her discomfort. He could only imagine how difficult it would be to come face-to-face with a past you couldn’t remember.
“That’s not what I’m worried about. I don’t want to hurt Aidan.” She twisted her fingers together and bowed her head.
His heart leaped at the sight of it. It had been a tic of Ruby’s whenever she was nervous. It was reassuring to know that she had still retained something about herself that he recognized. Even though she couldn’t remember him or their life together, this was still Ruby, despite the obvious changes in her demeanor. His wife. The woman he had vowed to love for a lifetime.
Something told him he might be repeating this mantra over and over again in the weeks and months to come.
“Hurt him?” Liam asked. “That’s not possible. He’s going to be over the moon to have his mother back.”
She lifted her head up and looked at him, her expression mournful. “But I won’t be the same mother who raised him. I’m a different person now, and I know that must be confusing and heartbreaking to you, but the accident changed all that.”
Her words popped his euphoria like the bursting of a balloon. This wasn’t nearly as straightforward as he would like to believe. The woman standing before him wasn’t his Ruby.
“What happened to you?” he blurted. He had so many questions about where Ruby had been for the last few years and how she had lived. Ever since he had walked into Boone’s office they had been churning inside him like acid.
A sigh slipped past her lips. “I was in an accident, I think. I’ve had CT scans on my head, and it’s pretty apparent that I suffered a traumatic brain injury. I don’t know exactly what happened, but when I woke up I was in a remote, wooded area.” She shook her head. “I must have wandered there in a daze from the mountain. God must have been watching out for me.”
“You were in Colorado doing a search-and-rescue operation.” He smiled at her. “That was your job. You were really great at it, too. You were caught up in an avalanche when you were doing a mountain rescue.”
Ruby’s jaw dropped. “Search and rescue? I had no idea. The reason I came to Love was because of a news story I watched on television about the Operation Love program. It basically detailed how the town mayor was matching single bachelors from here in town with women from all over the country.” She furrowed her brow. “There was something so familiar about the town. And I couldn’t get it out of my mind for days and days after I watched the segment. It gnawed at me. Call it a gut feeling, but I knew there was some connection between this quaint village and my old life. So I made the decision to fly out here and do some digging. I hit pay dirt the moment I entered your brother’s office. He practically hit the floor the moment he laid eyes on me.”
“Can’t say I blame him,” Liam murmured. “I had the same reaction.”
“It’s understandable. It’s been two years since the accident.”
“My dad was there that day in Colorado, helping out with the operation. He’s search and rescue like yourself. He saw you get swallowed up by the snow-slip, along with three others who were standing on that mountain ledge.” Just recalling it sent shivers through his body. It had been the darkest day of his life.
Ruby’s brown eyes widened. “Did they make it?”
“No,” he said somberly. “Only one body was recovered. All three of you were presumed dead.”
Tears pooled in Ruby’s eyes. “I have no idea how I survived that. All I know is that I was discovered by a couple who live in a remote area, miles away from the mountain. I don’t have a clue as to how I got there, but my friend Trudy spotted me wandering aimlessly near their cabin. When she brought me inside she said I was disoriented and couldn’t even remember my name. For the first few months she and her husband called me Kit. Then I remembered my name. It just came to me out of the blue.”
Liam felt a burst of anger toward the couple who had taken Ruby in. He clenched his teeth and reminded himself to count to ten so he didn’t vent. “How in the world didn’t they connect you to the rescue operation on the mountain? It was in all the papers and on the internet.”
Ruby quirked her mouth. “The couple who rescued me lives off the grid. Their lifestyle is very humble. They don’t have television or internet. And they were very protective of me. They brought in a doctor who examined me at their home since I was too afraid to leave. There was a bump on the back of my head, along with bruised ribs and some contusions. He wanted me to come in for additional testing, but I refused any further medical intervention.”
“You’re incredibly fortunate there wasn’t bleeding on the brain or anything else that might have been fatal.” Liam hated sounding like a medical know-it-all, but he couldn’t help but see this from a doctor’s vantage point. Not seeking medical attention at a hospital had been foolish. And risky.
Ruby sent him a sheepish look. “Not too smart of me, I know. I was a wreck for months and months. I jumped at the slightest sound, and I refused to do anything outside of my narrow comfort zone. It wasn’t until I went to Denver that I began to get connected with modern-day living. That’s when I finally had medical tests to get a firm diagnosis.”
“I’m amazed that you went so long without medical attention,” Liam said with a shake of his head. “But I understand that your circumstances were extreme. Having no memories must have been terrifying.”
“It was,” Ruby said with a sigh. “I don’t want to say I’m used to it now, but nothing is as bad as those first few days and weeks when nothing made sense. Lately I’ve experienced more flashes of memory. I’m grateful that I remembered my name and this town...even though I have to admit it’s not easy being here.”
Liam observed the worry lines and strain etched on her face. He wanted to reach out and take away all her fears and worries. Back when things were good between them he would have reached out and swept a kiss across her brow and soothed Ruby the way he knew best. If only he could. Those days felt like a million years ago.
He smiled at her. “I feel very grateful that those flashes led you back home.”
“Home.” She wrinkled her nose as she said the word. “I don’t want to hurt your feelings, because you seem like a very nice man, but home isn’t something I’ve ever known. Not really. The home we shared... I wish that I could remember it, but I can’t.”
Liam’s heart lurched at the look of utter defeat etched on Ruby’s face. The woman he knew was a fighter. She had never given up on anything. Not a single time. Not ever.
“I know everything is coming at you fast and furiously. But I need you to know that when I married you I took our wedding vows very seriously...we both did. We’re still married, Ruby. My home is your home.”
“Liam,” she protested, “what you’re saying is very sweet, but I don’t—”
“I know you don’t remember us and our life together, but I remember you,” Liam interrupted. “The food you like. What makes you laugh. Your favorite color. The way your cheeks flush when you get angry.”
A vein began thrumming above her eye. “Those things may have changed. I’ve done a lot of research on my condition. Tastes can become altered after a brain injury. For instance, I love apples. I may not have before.”
Liam grinned. It made him happy to know that she hadn’t changed completely, despite the differences he noticed in her demeanor and personality. “You’ve always loved apples,” he said. “Ever since I’ve known you.”
“That’s good to know,” she said. A hint of a smile played around her lips. For a moment she looked less somber. Almost lighthearted. Within seconds, a shadow crossed her face. “I’m not sure about meeting Aidan. I don’t know how to act, what to say to him.”
/> Liam had to stop himself from reaching out and caressing her cheek. She looked so vulnerable right now. “You’re his mother, Ruby. For him, that’s going to trump everything else. Remember, he’s only four years old. He’s at the age where he accepts things at face value for the most part. Unless, of course, you’re trying to get him to eat his vegetables.” Liam let out a chuckle. “Aidan and broccoli have been having a tough time of it lately.”
Ruby scrunched up her face. “Broccoli? Yuck. The kid has good taste. I like him already.” She let out a sweet laugh.
“And I’m not an expert on amnesia, but as a physician, I know that certain things can trigger memories. Maybe seeing Aidan will cause you to remember something solid about your life before the head trauma,” he said. “Something that can ground you in the here and now.”
She chewed her lip for a moment. It seemed as if she was soaking in everything he had explained to her. “You’re right,” she said with a nod. “I owe him a shot at remembering. He’s mine, whether I remember him or not. I’m not sure if I know how to be his mother, Liam, but I know it’s not right to walk away from this. At least not without seeing him first.”
“I’m not asking for the moon, Ruby. I just want you to meet him, to see him face-to-face. We’ll cross the bridges as they come.”
“I’ll do it,” Ruby said with an emphatic nod of her head. “I want to see our son.”
Liam felt a tightening sensation in his chest. Aidan was going to be reunited with his mother! It was almost as wonderful as the moment the knowledge had seeped in that Ruby was alive. For the last two years he had been walking around like a man with half a heart. Now, for the first time in forever, he felt as if he had hope. Although he knew the odds might be stacked against Ruby getting her memory back, he couldn’t help but feel optimistic about their lives returning to normal. And, above all else, Aidan getting his mother back.
Reunited at Christmas Page 2
