It was all too much but the only thing she could care about at the moment was the man and none of that other stuff. Twisting her fingers in anxiety as she paced, Brynn sent a silent prayer heavenward. A plea to bring Jax back and give her a chance to explain, to make things right, and to hopefully repair the damage her foolishness had wrought.
At just that moment she heard the low rumble of an approaching vehicle. Could it be? Oh, please, please let it be him. When lights began moving along the driveway, Brynn nearly fell to her knees with relief. Seeing his truck slowly draw closer filled her with emotions she couldn’t name. He’d come back. Oh my God. He’d come back. When the truck came to a halt and the headlights went black, she saw the driver’s door open, heard his booted feet hit the pavement, then ran to him with tears streaming down her face.
JAX WAS MOMENTARILY STUNNED WHEN a warm, trembling body launched into his arms making him stumble backwards into the side of the truck. Someone was crying and chanting his name and unless he was in mid-hallucination, the emotional mess clinging to him was his love. The woman in whose hands his heart currently resided. Brynn.
“Hey, hey,” he muttered as an emotional tidal wave threatened to take him under. “Sh, sh, baby. Don’t cry.” Feeling her tremble and shake as she sobbed into his neck nearly unmanned him. There was something about her tears that made him doubt his self-control and definitely had him wondering where his courage had fled.
“Jax,” she whimpered. “I’m so sorry. So sorry. Please give me a chance to explain.”
The emotions clogging his throat made it impossible to speak so he just stood there with her quaking body in his arms and held on as tight as he could.
She hiccupped a sob and clutched at his shirt. “What I did was stupid. Don’t be mad. Tell me what I can do to make this better.” A heartbeat went by and then another before she whispered in a voice he’d never heard before, “I need you. Please.”
She needed him? Holy God. Was that what she’d just said? “Baby, please. Stop crying. You’re killing me.”
Jax was pretty damn sure he was having an out-of-body experience when Brynn continued to clutch at his shirt as she all but climbed inside his skin. Over and over she bawled, “Please don’t be angry.”
Angry? She thought he was angry? Peeling her off his body was the hardest thing he’d ever done. She was trembling and so anxious she felt stiff as a board in his arms.
“Aww, honey. Come on. I’m not angry. Not at you anyway.” He started to guide them toward the house, not an easy task when she wouldn’t allow even so much as an inch of space between them. When his feet nearly tangled with hers and sent them tumbling to the ground, he’d had enough and simply swung her up in his arms, cradling her against his chest as he stomped up the porch stairs and into the house, kicking the door shut behind them with his foot. Taking her swiftly to the sofa, he lowered her like a priceless Fabergé egg onto the cushions and grabbed a box of tissues off the coffee table.
Dropping to his knees, he pulled a handful of tissues out and began gently mopping up the flood of tears still running down her cheeks. Her hands stayed gripped on his shirt as if she was afraid to let him go. Jax’s heart clutched. Not even a Zombie Apocalypse could take him away from her. Not now. Not after she’d admitted she needed him.
“Baby, we need to talk, but you have to calm down, okay?” She nodded through her tears and bit her lip until he was sure she was going to draw blood. Swiping his thumb across her mouth, she released her biting tug and tried to take a deep breath that ended up sounding like an indrawn sob. The sound gave him chills. This was Brynn at her most fragile and vulnerable. The thought was oddly intoxicating.
“I tried to do the right thing, baby. Really I did,” she gasped through the tears. “We just wanted to have a little fun, but I knew you’d want me to use my head.”
Wait. Did she just call him ‘baby’? Jax wanted to replay the moment and examine what she’d said but Brynn was in the middle of a heartfelt mea culpa that was in no way necessary. All he could do was let her finish. There was something to be said for being on his knees at her feet while she desperately tried to make him feel better. He couldn’t believe she was taking on his failings as if what she’d done was out of line.
“We gave our waiter a huge tip and asked him to make sure we got safely in a cab at the end of the night.”
Oh my God, it was worse than he thought. Hearing her explanation had him jumping to his feet with a tortured growl as another wave of helplessness crushed his senses. She’d turned to a stranger to keep a watch over her. He was going to hell.
Brynn ran after him as he prowled into the kitchen on angry feet. He’d been trained to save lives and play the warrior but had left her to the whims of chance when it counted most.
The anxious worry on her face reminded Jax that his brave, wonderful, feisty woman was taking the blame for a situation he’d created. Moving toward her, he used his body to push her against the refrigerator as she stared up at him in fear. He was scaring her with his aggressive reaction, not at all what he intended. And yet, here again, even though he was clearly frightening the shit out of her, she was still there. Fighting for something she didn’t understand was already hers.
Slamming his fist on the stainless steel box behind her, he stared into her tear stained face. Before he could say anything she was clutching at his shirt again and muttering, “Please don’t be mad. I know it was stupid.”
He put his hand over her mouth and her eyes widened. Caged as she was by the overwhelming size of his body, he felt a slight shudder rip through her.
“It should have been me, Brynn. Protecting you is my responsibility. Not some stranger who could have had a hidden agenda. Do not say you’re sorry again, understand?” She nodded but with her mouth covered there wasn’t much else she could do.
“You did nothing wrong, love. Nothing. Going out for some fun with your sister, even getting shit-faced drunk. There’s not a goddamn thing wrong with any of that. I should never have left you to your own devices. It’s my fault—all of this.”
He could feel her breathing grow heavy as his hand continued to press against her mouth. She gathered more of his shirt in her shaking fingers and pulled him closer.
“But I want to make one thing clear. The next time you step out of the house without panties on, I’m either by your side or you’re getting the mother of all spankings.” He laid his forehead on hers and growled, “No man gets to pick up on the scent of your sweet pussy but me. I’ll kill anyone who does.”
The aggression pumping through his system needed an outlet before it tore him apart from the inside out. He had to make love to her, full stop. Now. Show her with his touch and through the worship of her body how precious and special she was. Only by handing her his soul while he was buried deep inside her would he be able to push the demons this situation had unleashed back into the shadows.
Picking Brynn up, he practically sprinted to her bedroom in record time. The room was dark, lit only by the moonlight shining through the windows. It was the perfect setting. When he was finished with her, there wouldn’t be any doubt that she owned him—mind, body, and soul.
He set her on her feet and pushed the hair away from her face. “No more tears for you beautiful lady.”
“I thought you left,” she whispered in a husky, trembling voice. “Don’t leave me Jax. Not now. I won’t survive if you do.”
Aw, fuck. She was killing him. Didn’t she know? Wasn’t it obvious? He’d never leave her—not while there was breath left in his body and a conscious thought in his brain.
“I didn’t leave baby. It’s just that sometimes I need a little space to get my shit together. You’ve been scaring the fucking crap out of me since we met. I was ashamed of myself for putting your safety in jeopardy. Not trying to keep you on a leash or anything like that but it is my job to look after you. Let me make it up to you, love. I need to make this right.”
She framed his face with her soft hands. �
�Oh baby,” she murmured. “It’s me who’s ashamed. I knew how you’d feel but realized too late. The damage was already done. It pains me that some stupid thing I did upset you this much.”
“No, Brynn. This is all me. Not you. I’m going to make love to you now so you’ll know how sorry I am for not being there when you needed me. Just promise that next time, you’ll call and tell me what’s up before you get falling down drunk and start texting naughty promises.” That she blushed melted his heart straight into his boots. Her gentle smile went a long way to calming his fears.
“Turn around,” he groaned. “Let me strip you naked so I can devour your beauty in the moonlight.”
She turned slowly so her back was to him, but she kept her eyes turned toward him. Reaching up with a shaking hand she gathered her hair and pulled it across her shoulder, exposing part of her neck and the zipper of the dress. He couldn’t resist licking the column of her graceful neck and pressing a soft kiss in the shell of her ear. His reward was a subtle quiver punctuated with a faint moan that was as delicate and feminine as she was.
Pulling the zipper down with deliberate slowness was just about the most powerfully fascinating and alluring thing he’d ever done. Exposing her back, inch by glorious inch got him hard in seconds. It was always that way with her. All he had to do was be near her and every ounce of blood in his body went zooming to his cock. She had the power to destroy him as well as send him to a place where bliss and fulfillment wrapped tight around his soul.
When the zipper was fully undone, he parted the sides of the dress and ran his knuckle down the length of her spine. Even in the shadowy darkness he saw her flesh pucker from the slight caress. She had the softest skin, it was like nothing his senses had ever experienced before.
It was no hardship at all to put his lips at the base of her neck while his hands gripped her shoulders. An insatiable need to mark her with his mouth overtook Jax. The compulsion was so strong and demanding he had to pull back and stop from leaving a trail of lover’s bite marks wherever his mouth landed.
Stepping closer, he pressed his body along her back and wrapped an arm about her waist with his fingers spread wide on her stomach. With his free hand, Jax gently stroked his fingers up and down her arm, whispering in her ear, “This is a very pretty dress, my love. Wear it again for me, hmmmm?”
He liked the sound of her ragged sigh. Knowing he could turn her on with a heartfelt compliment and some simple caresses was a heady feeling—it told him how deeply connected they were. Pushing the dress off her shoulders, Jax inhaled deeply when her back was exposed to his gaze. Her skin looked like warm ivory in the muted light with a swath of amethyst-colored lace from her bra that reminded Jax of a beautiful orchid or the vibrant brilliance found in a rare purple sunset.
“You’re so fucking beautiful baby,” he whispered. Wrapping his big hand around her neck just under her chin, he pushed her head back slightly till it lay on his shoulder. It was a possessive move, one that spoke to his mastery over her physical form. His other hand grabbed hold of a breast encased in the sexy purple lace and squeezed. She moaned quietly, squirming against him. With both hands occupied, Jax leaned close to her ear so she would hear and feel his ragged, hot breath when he rumbled words of praise and awe meant to enflame her senses. “You look exquisite in the sexy bra,” and, “I could hold you like this forever.” And he could have too. Standing as they were with his hands on her body, he could feel the mesmerizing combination of his powerful desire and her sweet submission pulsing in the air around them.
Holding her under the chin gave him free and easy access to her neck, which he took possession of with his lips, tongue, and teeth. What began as gentle kisses quickly escalated into sensual shoulder to chin strokes of his tongue along skin that tasted warm and melt-in-your-mouth delicious. When Jax bit down on the place where her neck and shoulder joined, she let out a long moan. Hearing her pleasure spurred him on to a devastating ravishment until he’d marked her with a voracious passion. He continued suckling her flesh and greedily biting and nipping until she cried out. His hand and the way it rested on her neck picked up the steady thumping of her pulse, which his libido read as arousal in shorthand.
There were memorable moments in life and then there were moments that felt like pure perfection. Beautiful, seductive Brynn with her pretty dress hanging on hips that were making tiny wiggling motions against his enflamed groin, pressed to his chest, his fingers caressing her throat as she lay her head on his shoulder, yielding to his touch with absolute trust. Not only did her body feel like heaven to his senses, she smelled good too. My God. It just didn’t get any better than this.
She didn’t wait for him to finishing undressing her, shoving at the bunched up material of her outfit until it fell from her hips, bringing a devilish delight to his sex-drenched mind. Her eagerness excited the fuck out of him but his powerful domination of her in each of their previous couplings faded in significance when he considered the statement he was making right here, right now. This was about love not just sex and while he admittedly had very little experience in this area, for Brynn he would bend over backwards to make this special and show her the distinction between the two.
With his hands on her hips, Jax toyed with the lace on her purple, mind-melting matching panties. “I bet you looked like a million bucks on the dance floor in that naughty as fuck dress, baby. Shaking your ass and giving every guy with half a brain cell a hard-on heart attack.”
He smiled when she whimpered. Brynn needed to understand that he wasn’t mad at her—no way did he want to suppress her joy at something so basic and simple. She wanted to dance? And do it in a revealing dress that made his breath catch in his throat? No fucking problem.
“There’s an awesome underground club in Philly that’ll knock your Louboutin’s off. I’d love to take you there, baby. Work up a sweat, down a couple of Mojitos. Grind that hot body on mine. Panties optional as long as you’re with me.”
“Oh, Jax,” she murmured.
“What? Don’t think I can keep up?” He laughed and bit the lobe of her ear. “Got some serious moves babe and the louder the music, the better.”
She whirled around to face him, and he felt her eyes search his face. “Really? You want to take me dancing?”
“Abso-fucking-lutely,” he told her with a smirk. Grabbing hold of her hips, he yanked her hard against him for emphasis. “You. Me. Crushed together on a dance floor with your sexy ass covered by an indecent dress. Every guy in the place knowing that only I get to pin you down and spread your thighs for a private, naked rhumba between the sheets? Fuck to the yeah.”
Jax knew he was stretching his anxiety issues to the max with such a suggestion. Something about flashing lights and thundering bass beats could prove to be an easy trigger, but he somehow knew if she were there, pressing her delectable body to his and looking at him with those wicked sexy eyes, he’d be okay. Fuck. The realization hit him like a Humvee going a hundred miles an hour. She was a bridge between the agonies of his past and how he hoped his future would unfold. He actually felt that, with Brynn by his side, all things were possible.
She was clutching his shirt again, and he saw another flash of uncertainty cross her beautiful face. “About the no panties thing,” she mumbled. Looking straight into his eyes with an unrelenting stare she added, “That was a first. I swear. Not exactly my style. And I’d never, ever do something like that again. Not unless you wanted me to.” That last part came out with a breathy sigh and the cutest flush of embarrassed pink creeping up her neck.
Jax pushed his hand between her legs and cupped the lace-covered mound of her femininity. “Just so we’re clear, love,” he growled. “This is mine, and I do not share. Ever. And it wasn’t your choice of wardrobe that set me off. It’s that I wasn’t there to keep an eye on you. Don’t mistake my reaction with disapproval, Brynn.”
He must have said the right thing because she pressed against him and lunged at his mouth, curling her arms about h
is neck with a possessive fervor that thickened his blood. She didn’t say it, but he knew from her reaction that they were in sync on the sharing thing. Betrayed by her husband, whether she loved him or not, had to have been a bitter pill to swallow. That ass fucking dickwad had personally delivered the materials for the protective wall she’d erected around her heart that Jax was determined to dismantle brick by brick.
BRYNN WANTED TO CRY; ONLY this time not from fear and anxiety that she was losing Jax. It hadn’t escaped her attention that he’d found several different ways to let her know that nothing she’d done had been out of line or inappropriate. He’d also been blunt with her about the emotional toll the war had taken on him making it crystal clear that his protective instincts were set to high at all times. Something deep and profound was happening between them, she knew that. He was complex and flawed, and she needed to be vigilant and stay aware so she didn’t inadvertently push any of his buttons again because she couldn’t bear the fact that her foolishly naïve dumb blond moment had caused him such distress.
She loved kissing him. Loved the way his hands roamed her body. He was taking his good sweet time with her and drawing out the pleasure, but she wanted more. Now.
“You have too many clothes on,” she muttered against his open mouth when she paused their kiss.
“Yeah, I know.” He shrugged and grabbed a good handful of her lace-covered ass.
Thank fucking God she and Rhi were mostly the same size because she’d appropriated her entire Victoria’s Secret purchase before leaving New York. Knowing Jax would pick her up at the train station, she’d been anxious to tantalize him with the sexy new lingerie. And judging by the fact that he hadn’t ripped it off her so far, he was enjoying her efforts.
Wilde Forever (Wilde Women Book 1) Page 22
