He stroked her jaw with his warm palm, the look in his eyes thoughtful. “It is not me you need to fret over.”
Then he bent and kissed her, quickly, and took his leave.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Lennox dreamed of her that night as he had so many before, in those few hours before he rose at dawn to meet her in the forest. The dreams were pleasurable at first, purely carnal. Then an overwhelming feeling of despair filled him as her face swam before him at the moment when he shunned her. Her sense of pride had been raw and wounded after he revealed the scars on her back, her beautiful eyes full of betrayal and sadness.
Interleaved with that were more pleasant images, moments from their lovemaking. The memory that haunted his dreams the most was the way she looked up into his eyes as she offered herself again, her hands fisting against his chest. That precious moment when all her doubts had been cast aside, when nothing would hold her. Her voice whispered around his mind. You have made me know what it is like to be a woman—a woman fulfilled.
Lust surged in him. Tossing in his bed he fought the urge to wake fully, unwilling to break with the dream because he felt her hair brushing against his face and chest, and it was so soft, so real. Lennox wanted it to be so. He wanted to lie with her every night.
Her body pressed to his, and her soft lips on his mouth let loose his desire.
He reached out and clutched her to him, grabbing fistfuls of her hair and holding her close as the kiss took hold of him. Chloris. The urge to possess her wholly, to make her his and his alone, was taking root in him.
But her hair was long and silky under his fingers, and it did not tangle or bounce.
Something was amiss.
Jerking free he opened his eyes and stared up at Ailsa.
His heart thudded violently against the wall of his chest. “What are you doing?”
Ailsa ran her hand over his bare chest and flashed her eyes at him. “Waking you in the manner you enjoy most of all.”
It seemed like some strange jest because his mind and body were filled with Chloris and her essence. Then Ailsa’s hair spread over his chest in a silken curtain as she ducked her head and kissed him on his breastbone. Her hands moved lower to his breeches, where she began to undo the buttons.
Lennox grabbed her wrist, halting her. Pushing her aside, he sat up on the edge of the bed and rested his head in his hands.
“Lennox?”
“A moment, please.” The error disturbed him immensely.
Ailsa laid her hand against his back, sending her warmth into his bones, offering herself to him for pleasure and purpose—to give strength to his day in deed and magic.
Lennox rose to his feet, drawing away.
He did not want to hurt her, but he did not want her.
Turning to face her, he saw a woman thwarted.
She half sat in the place where he had left her, resting her hands on his empty mattress as she looked up at him. A beautiful lass she was, with her black hair trailing to the bed and eyes that flashed with mysticism and magic—eyes that reflected her heritage. She was a powerful young witch, and she needed a strong master to guide her lest she strayed from the natural path. Ailsa wanted that master to be him, always, but it could not be. Lennox was sure of that.
Swallowing hard, he reached for his shirt and pulled it over his head.
“It is her,” Ailsa accused. “Chloris Keavey, it is her you want.”
Straightening his breeches, he secured the buttons. “Be careful of what you are saying.”
“No. I know you, Lennox.” Her tone was bitter and she stared pointedly at his fingers lacing up his breeches. “You are blinded by your desire for her.”
When he met her stare, her eyes flashed with rage.
It occurred to him that she’d suspected it even before she woke him with her kiss. He’d wondered on it that night on the clearing. Had she set out to test him? He shrugged his waistcoat on. “I have never bound myself to one woman, you are well aware of that fact.”
“Until now,” she said accusingly, drawing away and rising to her feet on the other side of his bed. “You would bind yourself to her. I see it there in your eyes. That is why you do not want me anymore, because she is the only one for you now.”
Lennox cursed beneath his breath as he attempted to do up the buttons on his waistcoat. Ailsa spoke the truth. He could not deny her words nor would he have been able to indulge in carnal congress with her, because it was Chloris he wanted. That was no surprise. He loved her and would always protect her. Being confronted about it by a member of his coven did not help his state of mind, especially when his foremost concern was convincing Chloris to leave her husband and be with him instead.
“She’s not even one of our kind,” Ailsa continued, seemingly determined to drive her dagger deep, “which is the greatest risk of all. Even if she loves you now, there is no saying what she will do to you in the future.”
Irritated, Lennox shouted at her. “Enough!”
“Why? Am I not allowed my say?”
Lennox glared across the bed at her. She was as slippery and determined as a salmon leaping upstream. “You are allowed your say,” he retorted, “but I am currently troubled on many accounts. I fear for Mistress Chloris, who has suffered greatly and took a great risk the night she came here for our help.” The leaden weight in his gut made him shake his head. “It is the way of my life, and it has always been so, to fret over women.” He paused, but it had to be said. “Until I find my sisters I will not rest. I do my best for you and the other members of the coven, but for my own part I cannot commit more than that to you and you have always known that.”
“I have always known that, but that is not the problem now.” She folded her arms across her chest and stared at him. “I have sympathy for your burden, believe me, for I, too, have lost people who were close to me because of the craft, but you use your sisters as an excuse far too often, Lennox.”
Irritation was fast turning to rage. “Hold your tongue!”
She shook her head. “You will hear me out.” Relentlessly, she held his gaze. “You say that you wish to gain respectability for us. Yet, at the very same time you try to impress them, how...? By seducing their women?”
Anger roiled in him. He wanted her to stop.
“Do you know what they call you in the burgh? The Libertine. And they do not say it in hushed tones of admiration, no. It is said by those who doubt your claim to respectability, and I do not blame them. Passion might be the source of our greatest power, but not the way you have sought it out...seducing women to hurt thine enemies. Well, now you are mired in a situation you would do well to pull away from, but you won’t.”
At one time he might have been able to ignore the words, but her description made his bones so tight that his teeth ground and he had to grasp the bedpost to stop himself marching around there and silencing her with his hand over her mouth. “I told you to hold your tongue.”
She shook her head, fire in her eyes. “Not until you tell me why you do that. Why you take risks with their women when you have loyal witches who can satisfy you in ways they cannot even begin to understand?”
This was the second time in the turn of a day that a woman had faced up to him, exposing the deep flaws in his character, the ones he knew he had, but denied.
“Because it is easy,” he admitted. “There are days when I am sick to my belly with fear for our kind and I hate them for their superior ways and their ability to call us on our beliefs. The witch hunters scour the land on the promise of an ousting and the tally of lives ended cruelly grows ever longer. I cannot bear it, and when I look at those men who smugly turn us away...”
He sighed, for the confession shifted the weight he carried.
“I am not proud of it, Ailsa, but my actions are often driven by the need for retribution. I have given them every chance to accept us, but when a reasonable offering is rejected, I see them stoning my mother to death and forcing my young sisters to watch, and I want t
hem to feel the pain that I felt when my family was crushed and torn apart.”
They stared at each other in silence, then Ailsa’s lower lip trembled and she skirted the bed and threw herself into his arms, clutching at him.
He held her to him with one hand against her back. The sound of her soft weeping against his chest only confirmed that he was making them all unhappy.
“Everything you have said is true. You are a sensitive young witch.” He stroked her hair. “You must ally yourself to a better master, for you will be immensely powerful one day and you need someone to guard you well.”
Ailsa lifted her head to look at him. Her strange gray eyes glittered with tears. “You have guarded us well. I want to stay by your side.”
Lennox gave a wry smile. She was attempting to mend the rift, but her accusations made him want to make amends in a different way. He set her from him. “We will find your destined lover, just bide your time.”
He glanced at the window. Dawn was breaking. He was due to meet Chloris. He snatched up his belt.
“You are going to her.” It was not a question.
“It is the time for action, Ailsa. Today the council issues the list of the tradesmen who have been accepted into the guild. I want to see it just to know that my efforts were not in vain. I will speak to the coven this evening and if everyone is agreed, we head north to a new beginning. I must mend things with Mistress Chloris in case the coven votes to depart soon.”
“You would have her leave with us?”
“It will take some convincing on my part, but it would be my wish for her to come with us, yes.”
Ailsa took a deep breath, lifting her chin. “Then you had better hasten to her side.”
Hurt still shone in her eyes and Lennox felt her withdrawing from him.
“If you have doubts about me, perhaps you no longer accept me as your coven master?”
She gave a sad smile. “Lennox, I cannot deny that I ache for you, and I will miss you as a lover if you choose her instead, but you are the Witch Master who gave me life when death took my sister. I remain loyal to you and will follow wherever you lead us.”
There was honesty in her eyes, alongside the pain. “And I will do all I can to ensure you remain safe.”
Ailsa nodded.
“We will talk more this afternoon, when I return from the council meeting.” He wanted to reassure her, but things had been left incomplete with Chloris the night before and he needed to be sure she understood how much she meant to him before he went to the town.
* * *
Chloris watched him approach.
His tall figure moved through the trees easily, covering the ground between them. The day was already warm and the air hazy between the trees. Lennox seemed as one with this beautiful place, this hidden glen in the forest. It was how she’d always remember him, strolling through the trees as if he were king here. How was it that she had been allowed to love such a man, even for a short while? He was gifted and handsome, and younger than she. He was also wild and unpredictable.
When he closed on her, she smiled but she also put up her hand, indicating she wanted space between them while they spoke. She’d set her mind on how this would happen, and she meant to stick to it. But when she looked at him—adoring the very sight of him, intoxicated by it—she knew it would be hard. Nevertheless, it had to be done.
His smile faded somewhat when she raised her hand, but he halted in front of her and bowed his head. “How are you today?”
“I am well. But there are things we need to say and things I need to know.”
“Ask me anything.” The look in his eyes was brooding.
“There are things I’ve heard whispered, and I need to hear the truth about them from your lips.” She put her back to the tree, resting against it. “Tell me, how many women have you seduced?”
He looked uncomfortable.
That only confirmed her suspicions that Jean had been right. He was a libertine, bent on satisfying his need and ruining women’s reputations as he went. And she had fallen for his seductive ways. Even Jean had wanted to taste his magic, she was sure of it. The question had haunted her, and it was hard to state. She wanted to know his answer, though, and it pleased her somewhat that he did not shrug it off, that it mattered what she thought.
He opened his lips.
She reached over and pressed her finger to them, halting him. “Only the truth, I will respect you more for that.”
The truth was she needed to know this, to make her stronger. She had to deny this scheme to have her run to him.
He looked somewhat rueful. “I do not keep count, but there have been many. But...until you, they were at best a source, the vital life force that I could harvest for my magic. At worst they were nameless, faceless lovers, a momentary escape.”
Until me?
His eyes narrowed. He was silent a moment, as if he was gathering his thoughts. “Physical congress is the cornerstone of our beliefs. There is no greater power, and I am able to harvest it and use it to right wrongs, to heal and to influence. And yet, until you...I did not perceive the true value of what passes between a woman and a man, the simple act of sharing one another when there is deep affection as well as desire.”
Chloris inhaled. This man who had so much understanding of the possibilities between a man and a woman, more than any person she had ever known, and his confession about not understanding it was almost unthinkable.
“I love you, Chloris.” There was a look in his eyes that pleaded with her to understand. This was not easy for him. “You changed everything for me. I treasure our moments together. They bring me closer to the fundamental beliefs I subscribe to.”
This was not helping her to make distance between them. They could not be together, she recognized that.
“I promise you I will love you always.”
Chloris felt as if she would faint.
“Leave that other life behind you, be with me.” He reached for her hand and held it in his.
She squeezed her eyes tightly shut to hold back the tears that threatened to spill. “I cannot, surely you know that Tamhas would despise me if I left my husband, and he would come after me to set me right.”
“Aye, I know that.” He squeezed her hand tighter still. “It has long been my plan to take my people north, where we will be more readily accepted.”
Startled, she stared at him in wonder. Her lips parted, but he continued to speak.
“But I also have to be honest with you about how things will be. Hard. Life in the Highlands is very different to what you have known here in the Lowlands. But I have kin there and we will be welcome. Those who believe in the laws of the natural world and draw on its vitality to heal and create magic are not hunted and persecuted in the Highlands. We will be safe there, but it will be a simple life that awaits us at the end.” His eyes flickered. “An honest life.”
An honest life. She knew he meant that to contradict the life she was living, where she pretended to be a happy wife when it was so very far from the truth.
“It will be a difficult journey, though, and danger comes in many guises. Once we leave Saint Andrews those who speak against us will see our departure as an admission of guilt. They will send out word and hunt us down to be brought to trial.”
“It is safer not to run,” she murmured, her belly turning at the thought of him being hunted down that way.
“I didn’t say that.” A wry smile passed over his expression. “Troubles lie ahead for the south, too. The Jacobites are growing restless. They are ready to rise up and fight once again, to restore a Stuart king to the throne. The English will be ready for it, but our country may once again witness many fierce battles.”
Chloris inwardly recoiled at the idea of more violence for Scotland. As a child she had grown up listening to her father relating stories of feud and resistance. The union with England was not accepted willingly by most she spoke with in Edinburgh, but she had not heard talk of a new uprising. “How do
you know these things?”
“When I am away I travel from village to village, and I listen. With King James in exile and supported by the Jacobites, rebellion has been inevitable.”
Uncertainty surrounded them, and it took many forms. As she looked at him she knew one thing with certainty. She did love him. If he wanted her, as he said he did, could she risk her heart and go with him? Hardships ahead, yes, but there would be hardships aplenty if she stayed with Gavin.
There was more to it than that, though. This could be a whim on his part. She reminded herself that there were others he had responsibility for, and they would not readily accept her. “I will bring trouble to you and yours if I go with you.”
He shook his head, reached out and took her other hand in his. When she met his gaze, he continued. “It has always been a matter of time. Leave now and we will go together.”
“If that was your plan, why have you not left before?”
“I stayed only to find my two sisters who have been missing here in the Lowlands for many years.”
Chloris was dismayed. Not only for his lost siblings and the obvious pain that caused him, but also because he had not shared this information with her before. That saddened her. She did not know him well enough. She knew him as a lover, but there was so much more. Would they ever have the chance to learn everything there was to know about one another? “I am so sorry. Tell me more. Why are they lost to you?”
Lennox released her hands. He inhaled deeply and ran his fingers through his hair, then turned away. It was not easy for him to discuss the matter with her, Chloris could see that. Was it because she was not of his kind? Did he discuss it with his people, his coven? That only made her feel further away from him.
A moment later he turned back, but he had a distant look in his eye. “Our mother was put to death when we were bairns, on a charge of witchcraft.”
The Libertine Page 16
