''What he says is true, you will die because you started this war and you wanted to kill us. It is time to pay!'' Dmitri says.
''Wait...have you ever once stopped and wondered why I wanted you and Ivan dead?'' Vladimir screams.
''You have your reasons, you're greedy, you blame me for Anastasia's death, I killed your brother, your friends, your nephew, your woman! But you started this, I want you to remember this!'' Dmitri says.
''You've been a fool your whole life Dmitri, a damn fool...you are the reason behind Anastasia's death. Ivan saw the danger in her, he wasn't going to allow you to leave in the sunset with some piece of ass, leaving him alone while his position as boss was not yet consolidated. He was never going to allow you to leave the life so he did what I was most afraid of. He ordered me to poison her slowly! '' Vladimir whispers with shame and sorrow in his voice as tears flood his face.
''Lies!'' Dmitri screams and chokes Vladimir ''stop spreading your cancerous words and start praying because I will rip you to pieces as slow as possible!''
''Do whatever you feel like but I am not lying, you ignorant moron! I'm only telling you because I refuse to die before I know for sure Ivan will pay for what he did! That's the only reason for the war, I wanted you dead for getting involved with Anastasia and getting her killed and I wanted Ivan dead for ordering it! Ask fucking Alexander how he stopped me from taking my own life because of the guilt of poisoning my own sister!'' Vladimir screams pointing at Alexander.
Dmitri, turns in despair and anger towards Alexander ''tell me everything or it will be you next on this table''.
''Yes it is true what he says, a few months after Anastasia's death I found him in his house, drunk out of his mind, gun in hand, ready to take his life. With tears in his eyes, he confessed everything about how Ivan threatened him to kill Anastasia, and to do it in a manner that would look like an accident or a disease. I was sure that you knew at this point! Anatoly found out a few months ago and he wanted to revenge her. I knew what was coming when I saw you with her for the first time...I knew she'd end up dead...but it was never my concern. I didn't give a shit about anything and I still don't. Kill him already so I can get back to Moscow and begin consolidating my new business.'' Alexander says.
Dmitri looks at Vladimir and shouts ''all this time you could have told me!''
''My brother Anatoly wanted to, said that you would turn on Ivan when you heard but I guess you or Train killed him before he had a chance to open your eyes!'' Vladimir shouts.
''That's why Ivan shot him...'' Dmitri whispers to himself.
''So Ivan did it? Figures, he knows you'll kill him once you find out you've been played like a violin!'' Vladimir says.
''Ivan took me from nothing and gave me power, money, respect...a fucking name in a world full of nobodies!'' Dmitri says.
''He took a wild animal from the streets not out of compassion but only because he saw strength and he wanted to tame it and unleash it upon his enemies. And when the beast wanted some humanity, he took it back, killing it's soul again. You are a fool, you've always been a fool and you will die one, Dmitri!'' Vladimir shrieks like a wounded animal.
''If this is true, why didn't you come to me and tell me of Ivan's plan to kill her? I would have done something!'' Dmitri asks, puzzled.
''There was never any reasoning with you! You have hated me most of your life because you believed it was my fault you went to prison! It was Ivan, you fuck! He ratted you and Anatoly because all his life he's been a rat, and I knew that when he asked me to kill my own sister he would kill her and myself and all my family if I refused! I killed my own sister to save the rest of my family!'' Vladimir says.
''I cannot forgive you killing her. No matter what. I simply cannot!'' Dmitri says.
''Since we're coming clean about everything, I think you should know something Dmitri, something about this boy you got following you around!'' Alexander says.
''What?'' Dmitri says and shortly after a gunshot is heard in the room. And then again another shot, and another.
In Nikolai's hand Dmitri sees a smoking gun. Nikolai has shot Alexander three times in the back without saying a single word and has now pointed his gun towards Dmitri. Vladimir is laughing his teeth out on the table ''Ivan's pet is going to kill all of us, I hope he kills me last! Ivan won, after all that he has done, he still dies an old man in his bed! I just hope I get to see you die Dmitri, you fucking idiot!''
''What the fuck did you just do Nikolai?'' Dmitri screams.
''Following Ivan's orders, he said to kill you too!'' Nikolai murmurs.
''But the war...Alexander's lieutenants will take up arms against us, the war will go on for years! Do you know what you have done?'' Dmitri shouts again.
''He's the one that shot Train with a rifle, not me!'' the pale voice of Alexander's is barely audible as he's struggling to move on the floor, blood gushing out of his back and through his mouth and nose. Nikolai silences him forever with a bullet through the head and then turning his gun back on Dmitri.
''It doesn't matter anymore, nothing matters, Anastasia's dead so I am dead. Shoot me and be done with it already!'' Dmitri screams as hard as he can.
''We've met before Dmitri, years ago when I was but a child in the ports of Murmansk, my sister often took me there to show me the ships...Anastasia was my half sister...and that piece of shit on the table is my half brother. After she died, the pain was so strong and I swore on my life someday I would kill everyone involved in her death. You see, I am Ivan's son, our mother also gave birth to Anatoly, Vladimir and to Ana but with another man. I killed Train because he was a monster, I watched Anatoly die because Ana's death was on his hands too, I killed Alexander just now because he could have prevented all this from happening and I will kill Vladimir for poisoning my sister but I will spare you because I see you Dmitri, amongst the suffering, killing your loved ones and doing the most brutal and inhuman things that there are! You loved her, maybe as much as I did but now I know the real killer was my father Ivan. I don't know what to do.'' Nikolai says.
''Your father? Ivan is your father?'' Dmitri asks.
''Trust me, no one is as disappointed as I am because of this! I won't shoot you because I saw and learned a lot from you in the last month. You've unwillingly made me see what the life of a vor is! A big empty shit!'' Nikolai says.
''You know boy, I've spent my life surviving, killing, stealing and lurking in the shadows only with my anger, tormenting me, waging a war against my unfair life but it was Anastasia that had saved me and showed me that love is not a weakness, it's the greatest thing a man can achieve. Unknowingly, I've searched for her my entire life and when I had her, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I was empty and waiting for a reason to live and then it all went to shit. You are right Nikolai, this life is shit. Do you think any of us chose this life? Are you that stupid? Each man in the vory v zakone is abnormal, tormented and broken. You can see it in our tempers, our words, even in the way we move...be it by tragedy, insanity, poverty or something worse, we were all forced on this road that leads to nowhere. We had no choice, no way of adapting to normality. We are diseased, but won't die...we act as demons lost out of Hell. We can't be normal, we don't even know what that means. It's way too late for me but you can still live a man's life, not the one of a beast. At one point, even Train was a normal man. And then at a crossroad he took a wrong turn and wasn't able to find his way back. Most, if not all, even you believe the life left behind was worse than this but the truth is...this life is not really living.'' Dmitri says, tears in his eyes.
''I understand perfectly well everything you say, Dmitri!'' Nikolai says.
''You don't understand anything, you can't until you feel the coldness of this life! It's like every single man in the life sits on a cliff by himself, each judging from a certain height the rest. Most people don't know what it means to have never had a family, a mother, a father, most have never been faced with a simple fact, I will die of hunger unless
I steal something tonight. You can't understand what such things do to a man...how they change him into something far lesser. I've never been a day in my life to school. Not one single one. And that alone should frighten the shit out of myself and you! Stay away from this life, any form of organized crime is interesting only in movies. In real life, it's the worst path a human being can take! It's not what you hope you will be, it's not what you're trying to be, you are what you are, people never change, or barely do, not enough. What you are is what you have been, what you are now and what you will be in the future. And that scares the shit out of you.'' Dmitri says.
''You're a good man, Dmitri, I tried to kill you and betrayed you and all you do is try to help me, try to set me on a better path! I never understood why Ana choose you...a criminal, but now I do.'' Nikolai says.
''There is no good or evil, only power and how it is used defines it's strength, but power doesn't corrupt, it changes the man using it entirely. Using the power that comes from the title of ''vor'' sends anyone deeper and deeper into an abyss.'' Dmitri says.
''I feel sorry for you Dmitri, I've come to pity you!'' Nikolai says.
''As you should because I am a low creature. I am not even alive anymore and my dreams of Ana are all that remain of my true self. This man called Dmitri, walking around is just a specter. A spectral, disfigured image, a ghost of what I could, should have been if my happiness wasn't taken away from me. Learn from me, not from your father. Fear what I am and become something else, something as different as possible...killing this worm here or killing Ivan won't bring Anastasia back, it will only bring you closer to being me. I am dead already, let me avenge her...it's the only thing I can do.'' Dmitri says.
''I'm leaving this place, I know my father only wants to use me how he did you, and if he sees I refuse, he will have me killed! About killing Alexander, I did it for you Dmitri, I know you would have done it...maybe not now, but in a few months, a year, you would have. I killed Train because he was a savage bloodthirsty monster...a rabid animal that had to be put down. You know I'm right! I am leaving Russia, I hope I never see any of you ever again! Goodbye, my mentor!'' Nikolai says and walks towards the door.
''That conversation lingered on the threshold of transcendence,'' Vladimir says and smiles.
''I'm still killing you so I don't know why you are smiling!'' Dmitri says.
''You're so full of shit Dmitri, you knew this boy was my half brother, Ana's half brother...'' Vladimir says.
''Yes, the eyes gave him away...eyes just like hers. I brought him along in the hope that he would kill me but now after knowing the truth about my beloved Ana, I need to live just a little while longer.'' Dmitri says.
''Doesn't matter if I die because I can see the fire in your eyes, you will kill Ivan, and I, even dead, will have my revenge upon that piece of shit! I'll die smiling knowing I've managed to get him killed!'' Vladimir says, smiling even wider.
''I won't torture you but you earned your death. First I want you listen. Now tell me, have you ever been afraid of sleeping...of going to sleep? Not because of bad dreams but because you know that you will wake up the next day? You see, the problem with living in Hell is that you never get used to it! I stayed with Anastasia for a week, her last week, on that hospital bed...she was too weak to even go to the bathroom, too weak to feed herself...seeing her in that state, watching her hour after hour how she got weaker killed me a thousand times over...and in that final week, I stayed with her every single day and night but I couldn't sleep because I knew that I would wake up in the morning and she might not. In her last hour I held her tight as her heart slowly faded, slowing down...and when her heart finally stopped, my heart was already long dead. Do you know how much I loved that innocent little being? I had a priest come in the hospital and marry us right in that bed, and two days later I placed my hand over her mouth as she slept...I spared her the pain...she begged me thousands of times to end her suffering...it took everything I had in me, every fiber of humanity to kill her...I've killed the only person that loved me, the only person I'll ever love...'' Dmitri says, drowning in sorrow.
''I know that they had to call the cops to get you out of her hospital bed, to stop you from hugging her corpse!'' Vladimir says.
''Every man hides deep within himself a tragedy and the better he hides it, the stronger he is. I now understand that killing her was facing Hell to you but it was even worse for me watching her die, feeling her colder and colder in my arms. I'm just glad she died without seeing what happened to me, to us, how it all went to pieces. I won't torture you because you've suffered enough but you will die swiftly because every second you breath and she doesn't is unacceptable. You killed your own blood, that's worse than taking your own life.'' Dmitri whispers.
''I miss her so much, even now!'' Vladimir says weeping.
''If there was any God in this world, he would have given me my death beside my sweet Anastasia...'' Dmitri says.
''I know there must be a God because no man can kill his sister and be punished only by death!'' Vladimir says, bracing himself.
Dmitri pulls out his gun and unloads a full clip in Vladimir's head turning his face to mush...
''Ivan will join you.'' Dmitri says, dropping the gun on the floor and leaving the house.
It's almost morning outside and it's raining.
Chapter VIII Tired
Some time ago.
Deep inside the famous Novodevichy cemetery in Moscow, a lone man walks slowly on a frozen path, smoking a cigarette and listening to the sounds of the night as his eyes cross fast over the names on the tombstones he passes. Dmitri has always enjoyed silence and cemeteries are so silent...
He arrives at a colossal mausoleum, a crypt of incredible architecture. Outside, near its entrance, the marble life sized sculpture of an angel hugging a small boy catches his attention. Dmitri uses the sleeve of his coat to wipe a speck of mud off the angel's face. A woman angel. The monument houses Anastasia, in her final resting place. Dmitri reaches out to touch the marble child's face but falls to his knees sobbing...'' you left me all alone my love. you promised you'd love me forever, that we would grow old and die together...'' Dmitri chokes with sorrow as his cries turn to roars of anger.
A few minutes pass and Dmitri finally gets back on his feet, wipes the tears that cloud his vision and removes a key from around his neck, unlocking the door and stepping inside.
A massive stone coffin rests in the middle of the room. Dmitri curls up next to the cold object and falls asleep crying and caressing the stone.
''Wake up!'' a thick voice wakes Dmitri.
''What the...?'' Dmitri says and draws his gun, pointing it to the dark silhouette in front of him.
''Calm down, it's me Train, one of the cemetery keepers called me. Said you were in the tomb again, this time for almost two days. They are too scared to come check on you...you almost beat that last one to death.'' Train whispers.
''How did anyone know I was inside? Nobody saw me.'' Dmitri asks.
''Shit, they probably saw your car hogging up that good parking spot near the entrance'' Train says and picks Dmitri off the floor.
''I'm thirsty,'' Dmitri says, looking around disoriented.
''Take this'' Train says and hands Dmitri a plastic bag.
''What's in here?'' Dmitri asks.
''What I usually bring you when I know you're in here.'' Train says. Dmitri looks inside the bag, a bottle of water, a couple of steaks and some cookies. Dmitri drinks the entire water bottle in seconds and starts eating one of the steaks with his bare hands.
''I don't know Dmitri'' Train says and starts walking around the room, admiring the architecture ''you need to stop doing this to yourself. Ana wouldn't want to see you like this. Fight me if you want but this needs to be said. She is fucking dead and gone, long, long gone. She isn't coming back and there's nothing you or anyone can do about that.'' Train says and readies himself.
Dmitri's eyes suddenly fill with anger, he drops the steak and
punches Train hard, knocking him down. Train spits blood and smiling he says ''I forgot you get crazy strong when anyone talks about your dead woman...because that's exactly what she is...bones and hair, the worms have long had their fill on her heart, brains, lips and eyes.''
Dmitri jumps on Train and they wrestle for minutes, howling like wild animals, biting, scratching, gauging...Train eventually tires Dmitri out and pins him underneath his giant body, catching him in a headlock.
''She's dead, brother! Fucking dead!'' Train screams as Dmitri roars like a beast, trying to gauge out Train's eye.
''It's been years, you need to stop this! I know you sleep here because you can't sleep without her...you want to be next to her! I know that you feel worthless because despite all your strength, intelligence and money you couldn't save her! I know you'd die a hundred times just to touch her one more time. I know you would trade all the lives in this world for hers!'' Train shouts.
''Shut up, shut the fuck up! I'll fucking kill you!'' Dmitri says, grabbing his gun. Train chokes Dmitri until he passes out and then lays panting next to him.
''Strong as an ox, stubborn as a mule! I should have started with you before giving you water or food!'' Train says loudly, kicking Dmitri's right leg so he has enough room to stretch comfortably next to him on the ground.
By the time Dmitri wakes up, it is already daylight. Train is smoking in a corner of the chamber.
''She was pregnant when she got sick wasn't she?'' Train asks.
''Nobody knew...when she got sick, she wanted to keep it. I talked her out of it. I was sure that she would fight off the disease without my boy inside of her. I told her we would have other children. I talked her into killing our son. A baby boy. I often fantasized about holding him in my hands...how it would feel, if I was able to hold such a delicate, frail and innocent thing in these hands...these instruments of terror and butchery. A boy, a son...part of my own body. I didn't even get to see him, to see his eyes...I knew and still know nothing about being a father but I was so eager to learn.'' Dmitri says as tears run down his cheeks.
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