“We can take this to a whole new level Eva. Obey, Prisoner, Slave…I can make something work,” he growled.
"Seriously, he has to follow me like I need someone to hold up my pants all day?” I should have stopped. I needed to stop.
Caleb’s fist denting the wall next to my head created mixed emotions in me. I don't take kindly to force. I, in fact, said a lot of stupid things when the life was being sucked of out of me.
"And now we are going to act like a child and break shit because someone doesn't see things your way? Because I don’t feel like being held here against my will, when I have no clue, what the hell is going on?" I yelled.
"Eva, why don’t you mosey on up to your room? Mr. Caleb and I will finish our discussion without your unneeded, I’m sorry, unwanted two cents," I rolled my eyes. He was trying to prove he could handle me. HA! That's cute. Really, push my buttons. I dare you.
"And you gave birth to me when?" I waited briefly for an answer knowing I wouldn't get one. "Right. I suppose that whomever I’m supposed to be hiding from clearly had enough access to send me gifts and would have made his move by now. Why would they bother knowing you’d beef up security?" Not so beefy when I look at the cluster of unpolished muscles standing in formation in front of me.
"ENOUGH!" Caleb's voice boomed in the stairwell. "Seth, place Ms. Eva in her room and make sure she stays there." My closed fists and a stern stance protested every word. "Return here for further discussion of your requirements."
I struggled against Seth. I already lost the battle as I landed on my bed face first. His touch ached, but didn’t send me flashes of broken flesh and dancing fingers. I hurried to my feet.
"Ma'am, I don't mean to speak out of turn with you, but Mr. Caleb is just trying to keep you safe. I hope you work out your issues and make peace with them. I'd hate to see anything…unfortunate happen to you," the twang in his voice added sincerity to his words and I hated it. He was right. But I won’t give you the satisfaction.
"If he was really worried about me…" I stopped.
"He would ask me and the good Doc to leave." I was dumbfounded.
"For starters," I avoided his smug smile
"You can think whatever you want of us, but we are here to help. In any way we can." His eyes were dark. There was more to his statement. It wasn't obvious what he was trying to say, but there was more.
"I don't trust you." I leaned on one leg; my hip inched out, my arms folded in front of me.
"In your current situation, I wouldn't trust anyone." He stood near the door.
"It has nothing to do with this situation.”
"I choose to believe it does."
"Then you are delusional." It was subtle but I noticed the flicker of fear.
"We will be spending more time together, Ms. Eva. I hope this issue you have with me finds itself on the dusty shelf."
"If I liked you, I might trust you. I don't like you and I don't trust you. Get my drift, cowboy." I sat on the couch crossing my legs trying to show confidence and capability.
"You haven’t given me a fair shot," he stuttered.
I forced an early recovery just to get away from him. I don’t know how he managed to get back on Caleb’s radar for this assignment, but he wasn’t fooling me.
"Yeah, that's what I thought. Well, I had better get on back before Mr. Caleb high tales it on up here. Ma’am." He tipped his imaginary hat and pulled the door shut behind him. I heard the door latch and lock. I felt the flames shooting from both ears.
The next few days reminded me of those prison days when Caleb kept me in bed, bringing movies and food, leaving me unsatisfied by our conversations. But it wasn’t Caleb holding me hostage this time. I locked myself in my room, completely ignoring Caleb’s schedule.
This schedule of his consisted of meal times and activities, all at various times so I wasn’t in the same place at the same time of the day. There would be a knock on the door when the schedule said I needed to be doing something else. I, of course, refused to leave my room. They couldn’t tell me what to do.
Caleb thought that by giving me copy of the schedule I would be more compelled to do as it said, as if the magic of ink to paper made it more demanding. When I looked over the schedule for the first time, I asked him if I was allotted time to use the restroom as that seemed to be left out of the details.
“You can go when you need to, Eva. Don’t be absurd.” Caleb sighed. “This is to keep your times unpredictable and the staff on guard when you are present. If we know where you are at all times, you can be protected.”
“Will Seth need to be in the bathroom with me? Or, is he required to wipe for me? I wouldn’t want anyone reaching through the toilet or anything,” I added to the absurdity of the situation. A few snickers coming from the hallway added to my small victory.
“This is for your protection, not to be made into a joke,” he spoke loud enough for the guards in the hall to hear. A few cleared throats meant they heard him and were back on his side.
“This is a joke. To me, all of this is a joke. It has to be some big prank because I’m not scared. I have nothing to be scared of.” I brushed his protection off my shoulder.
Caleb closed my bedroom door, his eyes angrier than when he came in. He probably needed to muffle the sounds of the tongue-lashing I was about to receive. I was still confused by the kiss from the night of the party and the shitty way he was treating me following the event. I didn’t prefer to be alone with him.
“The door needs to stay open,” I stated.
“I closed the door because I wanted it closed. It stays closed.” He was stern, cold.
“Then I prefer you stay where you are.” Caleb eyed me curiously, adjusting his weight from his left foot to his right foot as he leaned against the door.
“Right here?”
“Yes.” I moved to a comfortable distance, the seat under the window, across the room.
“Is that really necessary?” He smirked.
“I have my reasons.”
“You really are trying to be difficult. I don’t know what’s going on with you, but this needs to stop.” He pushed off from the door with his back and walked closer to me, stopping at the couch just on the other side of my bed.
“If you’re going to move any closer, I’d prefer the door open.”
“You can make requests, Eva, but I’m not obligated to oblige.” He played with the arm of the couch, picking invisible lint from the leather.
“Why don’t you just get it over with?” I pulled my knees to my chest.
“And what is it that I’m supposed to get over with?” he asked as if he already knew.
“Yell at me. Scold me.”
“You don’t listen to me anyways. Why waste my breath? Besides, it sounds like they prefer you to me anyways. Even as crappy as you treat them.” He looked back at the closed door.
I didn’t care to mingle with the babysitters. I tried my hardest to avoid them, but even as much as I wanted to hate them, they were pretty nice guys. They were a courteous bunch and even as horrible as I was being, they were respectful. I almost felt guilty for giving them such a hard time.
I, however, did not want to deal with Dr. Crazy-Eyes and her sidekick, Sgt. Smooth-Talker. I just wish I had some real proof, but even the I-Hate-Seth-Club was getting harder to manage. Stupid nice guys!
“You should give them a fair shake. They didn’t do anything to you.” He looked at me, his face softer.
“Sure,” I said simply.
“Eva, what are you really upset about here? You haven’t left the room in days, refusing to leave as ordered, refusing meals. It can’t be because Seth is being awful to you or Caroline has talked down to you.”
“See that right there.” I took in a deep breath. “You came in here to give me a schedule and tell me to follow your orders. What happened to this being my home too? And you saw me the last time Seth was here, how can you not see the problem.”
“This is your home. And you
aren’t telling me what the problem is.” Caleb walked around the bed and stood at my side.
I looked out the window at the calm waters along the edge of the property. “I’d really prefer you weren’t so close to me.”
“I don’t bite.” I looked up at him, his smile beaming down at me.
“Honestly, I can’t say I know that anymore. The humiliation you’ve put me through, just in the last week, and then to completely ignore my feelings, the kiss…” I turned my attention to scenery.
“Did the dress bring back any memories?” he spoke just above a whisper.
My head snapped up to see him looking out the window. His smile was gone, his hands were in his pocket, and there wasn’t anything I could say.
“I’m still on your side, Eva. I just can’t be obvious in the things that I do. I wish I could tell you everything right here, right now, but I can’t,” he was whispering now. “I’m doing the only thing I can to keep you safe. I want you to remember everything. I want you to be the girl…Be difficult if you must. It helps everyone stay on their toes.”
I stood between him and the view, my eyes on him as he slowly looked down at me. “Why that dress?”
“You made it, but if it didn’t help you then maybe I didn’t get the right one. Or maybe……”
“Why did you kiss me the night of the party?”
“Let’s not talk about that.” He walked away, standing in front of the fireplace.
“You wanted to know why I was upset.”
“All of this is because of that?” He turned to face me, his face wet with tears.
“Why are you upset?” I took one-step towards him.
He wiped his face roughly, his face turning a dark shade of red. He took a step towards the door. “Just follow the schedule and give those men a chance. I have to work.” Caleb yanked the door open to Seth standing in the doorway. “Is there a problem?” Caleb growled.
“Just following the schedule, Sir.” He stepped to the side.
Caleb stomped off in a huff, leaving me to deal with another round of the most confusing man in the world, and Seth.
Seth’s constant suffocation over the last few days included checking on my healed injuries, providing meals, and offering to take me for a swim. After asking about Caleb’s unscheduled visit, he came to remind me that he was paying way too much attention to me during his previous stay, even when I didn’t realize it.
“You always looked deep in thought down there when you were trying to give yourself a break.” He leaned his arm along the fireplace mantle, just barely grazing the pictures.
My stomach became unsettled as he stood across the room from me. It wasn’t the same feeling like when Caleb stood there. Caleb annoyed me and lied to me, but I still wanted him all over me. Seth’s touches left me unscathed, but my nerves were fraying under his stare.
“I’m sure you could use a break from this…room.” He looked around the museum with the same expression I gave it. It wasn’t his cup of tea either.
“I’m fine where I am.”
“You must be hungry?”
“Full.” I padded my empty stomach.
“You haven’t touched a thing in…”
“I’d like to be alone if you don’t mind.” I turned away to stare out the window. He wasn’t pushing. The lightened expression on his face showed concern.
It was a full six days of my Anti-Lockdown Lockdown - yes I knew how backwards it all really was - when a knock at my door sent me on my usual rant.
“You can just turn yourself around and take that crap back downstairs. I’ll do without.” My stomach jabbed me in protest. I was starving. I didn’t have a workout regimen to keep my mind off of the deliciousness of food this time.
“Eva, will you pipe down and sit.” Caleb walked in, a tray full of my favorites in hand.
“What are you doing here?” I tried not to sound too excited.
“Four days of starvation just when you’re getting your strength back, it’s just unattractive.” He set the tray on the desk, walking the room as if looking for something, or someone.
“Guess you should call off the dogs then.”
“If only. I have to go away on some business for a few days so you’ll have to manage with them on your own.”
“Seriously!?” I was struggling with anytime away from Caleb as it was. He was my one constant. Even if we were fighting, I didn’t want him to go.
“Do you think you can deal for a few days?”
“But…Who will I…” I stopped my eyes on the floor.
"I'm sorry, Eva. There is nothing I can do. I trust that Seth and the others will manage things here just fine without me."
"No!” Tears formed.
“Yes.” He pouted his lips.
“Don’t be mean.” I smiled a little.
“You’re just too cute when you’re all mopey.” He stared at me with fondness in his eyes. “But I prefer that beautiful smile of yours.”
I blushed. “What if I went with you? I’d be safe with you.” I trusted him more than I trusted the soldier boys, as much trust as I could give him.
“I wish you could, but I wouldn’t be able to concentrate with you there.”
“Distracting, am I?” I smirked.
“Not always a good thing, Eva.” His thumb wiped away the tears still streaming down my face.
My fear was harder to control. It wasn’t a fear of some stalker hurting me or anything to warrant the extra security. No, my fear came from an awkward place. Caleb was all I had, but every day I fought the urge to run away with the hopes he would just tell me everything. It didn’t make much sense to me.
“Sir, everything is prepped and ready to go,” Seth stood at the entrance of my door.
“Wait, you’re leaving now?” Caleb stood and I followed.
“Yes, it’s a long drive. We need to leave before dark.”
“We?”
“I’m all packed,” Caroline pushed in behind Seth.
“That kind of trip.” I smiled, walking backwards away from the group forming at the entrance.
Caleb stepped towards me. “Business, Eva.” He stared at me, hands on my shoulders, holding me in place. “Now stay out of trouble and mind yourself.” He kissed me on the forehead. I had no right to be jealous.
I wondered if jealousy was the source of my hatred for Caroline, but even from the moment when she came into my room the first time, I didn’t like her. Now, the world was safe enough to take her out, but I was stuck in a cage. Yes, it was a large cage, but still a cage.
“Ms. Eva, I see you have your meal. Perhaps we’ll start fresh tomorrow, first thing in the morning, with your new schedule?”
“Go suck an egg.” I turned from him.
“Well, that’s not very nice. But I will say, we’re gonna have us a grand old time.” He left.
Every part of me wanted to hurl, including the hairs on my arms. It was an uneasy feeling when he was in my room. Even as sick as I felt, the smell of the food on the desk called out to me. My stomach had suffered enough.
I stretched out what I could of the food through the night while I watched the same movie that had been up here since before my physical therapy. It wasn’t so bad, at least it was a comedy. It was a night of normal.
Chapter 9
Spaghetti & Hope
It was another morning of confusion and unhappiness. The shower seemed to be the only place I didn’t ache when sitting still too long or moving around too fast. It was also the only place that I could enjoy peacefully - without interruption.
Today, I was using the time in the shower to contemplate my last few decisions, poor or otherwise. I couldn’t see if I was making a bigger mess or building a bigger wall with Caleb. I thought I was making progress and now he’s on a business trip with Caroline.
It dawned on me that I still knew too little, nothing made sense when I thought everything made sense. I didn’t know what I was going to do next or how I was going to keep moving when every m
orning I just wanted to stop, but I needed answers. And with Caroline and Caleb gone, I might find some of them. Even if I had to change in the meantime, I had to get somewhere.
My indicator that it was time to turn off the ice cold shower sounded; teeth chatter. I dried myself off and decided the stuffy clothes that covered every inch of my body needed a break. I wrapped the towel around me and moved into the heated closet.
I was sure the clothes in there were not mine, but seeing how they were in my closet, they were fair game. Unlike the handmade gown from the most unfortunate night of tonsil hockey with Caleb, the everyday clothes fit me well.
I decided on a purple no sleeve, plain V-neck top with shorts a little longer than daisy dukes. They were completely different from my usual attire, and the bare skin was something I’d have to get used to, but I planned on getting some sun today and I wouldn’t take no for an answer.
I combed through my hair, wishing there was more I could do to it than just straight, straight behind the ears, half ponytail, bun, and ponytail. I decided on a half-do in case of a breeze, as it was usually breezy outside. I couldn’t care less when it came to what I wore unless it was a special occasion, but my emotional meter was on low and still falling. I needed a pick-me-up.
I left my room expecting bodyguards to be at every turn, but for the first mile walk of the house, no one was on post. I continued to the dining room. Bernard wasn’t on duty, waiting as he usually did near the cart with the lady’s choice. I could be three hours behind everyone else and he was ready with a hot plate of food.
I was usually stopped at the entrance, but decided I wouldn’t pass up the chance and pushed open the door leading to the kitchen.
“Hello?”
I called once more, but there was no sign of the usual clanking of dishes when Bernard entered and exited this room. I walked through the large kitchen quietly, although I suspected no one was around, I still wanted to keep my arrival unknown.
The dark cabinets and stainless steel appliances were very modern for this home. The center island was equipped with a six-burner range and two built-in sinks. The pots and pans hung from the ceiling on a rack built to carry more.
Without Knowing (When You Wake Book 1) Page 11
