YOU MATTER TO ME, NOW

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YOU MATTER TO ME, NOW Page 2

by Jan Vivian


  ‘And tomorrow…Monty?’ she gasps as exhorting lips suck on her wetness and she meets the renewed probing of his tongue to her that is again so wonderfully demanding. ‘Slowly…kiss me there…slowly!’

  ‘Everything else can wait!’ he says pressing the words to her skin before meeting Anna’s languorous look upon him.

  ‘We’ll be wrecked…but go on!’ she exclaims and offers squirming clamps upon ample questing flesh. ‘Go on…go on!’

  ♥

  She knew now that it had worked out between them in that all too basic need of skin-on-skin, the frantic clasp of encouraging hands, the exchange of gasping breathy kisses and cries of encouragement that being together had brought to them.

  They had caught the wondering looks upon each other and forgotten everything else; the social niceties had been gone through, those that went with a first meeting and served as the soon forgotten preambles to the more honest and poorly concealed need, call it lust, that they had soon felt as their evening together had progressed.

  That no drink, or little of it, was involved to lessen inhibitions was a wonder in itself; perhaps a moment might yet be found when she would realise that being with Monty had a wonderful inevitability about it that rejected the false comfort of alcohol, dimmed lights or even the empty words she had heard from others.

  Those times had left her feeling used, even abused, by the fecklessness of the one-night stand and she had not known of that instinct with Monty. His gentle ways of it had seduced her, not easily but with the comforting certainty that what she was embarking upon felt right. She could dismiss any further thoughts of one-night stands; there had only been two of them and they had been in her youth, exploratory ventures that only left a scar on her memory and the determination not to make that mistake again – the pursuit of pleasure for its sake alone.

  Getting laid, making love, screwing someone had to mean something more than just the physical act. The one night stand simply left her feeling ashamed and worthless.

  She lay beside him and simply loved to hear Monty breath, to feel his breath upon her naked skin. Going with him, discovering Monty’s ways had brought a newer and freshly passionate devotion to her…to every part of her.

  He wasn’t a novice but she had loved to show and share what she liked from him. She had shown him how it could go between them and from then on his lovable devotion and youthful inquisitiveness had done the rest.

  Now, she felt wasted by their spontaneity.

  Monty had worked his own particular magic upon her. He needed someone special and she had been made to forget what a responsible person she was, an ambitious young woman holding down a far too-well paid job. Monty’s good looks, slender but strong physique, that deprecating way of speaking, they all served to conceal a lively intellect that she could yet make use of.

  He got by on the pittance the local team paid him and somehow he had the means to get by. She knew only too well that they looked on their role as doing him a favour in straightened times for everyone in the city and beyond. She could imagine Miguel saying it only too frequently if Monty’s ideas were put over as him being ‘uppity’. He had dared to speak out before being asked!

  Well, during the past few hours, and into the early morning, she had encouraged Monty in his claims upon her; she had conceded to a deepening first kiss as the acknowledgement that they had been lucky to have met at what seemed just the right moment in their lives.

  ‘We’ll be together again later, won’t we?’ she heard herself say in the soft light that filled the room. As an ‘office’ romance life and work could now become a great deal more complicated.

  3

  The Way It Is Going To Be

  Anna met his admiring look across the cool space of the open plan office. Normality, if it was to be rediscovered, began here for them.

  Monty was again impeccably dressed, the dark blue lightweight suit and white shirt, even the striped tie, in stark contrast to the cool chic she had seen of him the night before. If she didn’t know better she could take him to be self-obsessed with a pride in his grooming. His high cheeked face, the lovely tan, and short sun-bleached brown hair were immaculate. He watched how others of his age looked and dressed in the city and chose to follow their example but in his own determined ways. That look had worked upon her before, and it did so again now, but she couldn’t let the pleasure of seeing him show.

  She smirked a smile, no more, of greeting and wondered how she could keep up the pretence, how she would carry off such a simple act of discretion in her lover’s presence.

  Monty was seen to exchange a few pleasantries with a female colleague who sat nearby and she saw the young woman smile up at him as some joke was made. Anna then watched him put a sheaf of papers into a buff envelope before he returned to his work-station. It stood close to a drawing board that she only now took account of. She had heard him express his opinions and felt Monty’s touch to her skin, but of other artistry? She was in ignorance of that.

  They would both have to play a part, act out a role of business-like relations and yet find the means to stay in contact until day’s end. The harsh reality of going with a colleague was there for her to see and worse, to think of. She felt uncomfortable to feel a small stab of jealousy, to see that he could chat so easily to a girl his age, an intern just like him, a pretty one even in her streaky-blonde dark-haired ways of it and her olive skin. The contrast between them was evident; he smartly dressed and far too English in someone else’s eyes, the young woman dressed down in the more relaxed continental ways of it.

  Intellect and ability came in many guises Anna took to thinking once more as she looked at her lap-top’s screen and furtively glanced Monty’s way. How absurd, how wonderfully distracting and enervating, to behave in this way!

  She sipped on the small plastic beaker of ice-cold water as she scrolled through the emails. Many were from the London office and thankfully none bore the tag line she had insisted that members of her team used while she was away: ACTION NOW.

  Her I-phone trembled intrusively on the desk beside her. A new message warning flared then faded. She pressed an index finger to her lips as she met Monty’s look upon her knowing only too quickly that he was the sender.

  Sorry, lovely Anna – c’ing u i have 2 write what i feel. Best this way. Tonight, my place? Cld call 4 u at hotel – 7:30 then show u some of Gaudi’s finer places – art of a diff sort? Glad I saved my kisses 4 u! M

  M – diff as it is I hv 2 get thru day. Yes 2 later. Show me how it goes again? A

  Anna suppressed a smile on seeing him read her reply to his youthful, gushing turn of phrase. It was lover’s talk and Monty spoke or wrote out no more than what he felt and she loved that in him, the simplicity of the words that carried a deeper message that she wanted to hear and think of. But, she had to get to work, return to the reality of life and she set that against the euphoria of the past few hours that she had so happily spent with him and what she now had to face.

  They would soon be separated by more than office or work-place conventions.

  Then what?

  Would life be reduced to texts and email messages all of them a surrogate for a kiss and a touch, a squelchy tumble?

  The use of Skype didn’t do it for her as a means to show themselves to each other…in the buff, perhaps.

  Such were the intrusive thoughts as she answered emails, her long fingers tapping furiously on the keyboard as she sought to keep at bay thoughts of how life had been turned over in only a few hours.

  In a day or so she would be back in London and they would be missing out on so much until they got together again…somewhere…somehow…some time, soon?

  Self-consciously she touched the pearl in the oval-shaped pendant that she had chosen to wear close to her throat on a gold collar-necklace. It was just visible in the v-notch cut into the round collar of the white and lemon yellow patterned shift dress that she had found just the thing to wear. It was cool, practical and stylish but not to
o chic and over-done. It had travelled well and served a purpose, showed a level of status through it pricey simplicity.

  Simplicity - the same could not be said for her feelings. She would be leaving before her romance, if she could even dare to call it that had truly begun…

  ‘Anna! Good morning,’ was said in heavily-accented English. ‘Is everything okay?’

  She was startled into looking up from the screen as Miguel greeted her. It was too early in the day to take in the waft of after-shave or scent the man wore but he ran the place his way and London merely watched over the results.

  ‘Good morning…and yes. Everything’s just fine.’ She clutched her i-phone a little tighter as if doing so and thinking again of the message it contained would sustain her. ‘It’s time to go…on that client visit?’

  ‘Si. They’re our largest…the best payers.’

  ‘The best in tough times. So, we had better not keep them waiting,’ Anna observed flatly and slipping into business mode once more. She bundled up her project papers and shoved her laptop into the bag that went everywhere with her. ‘I’m ready.’

  ‘Bueno,’ Miguel smiled. He pointed the way they should go, needlessly. ‘Juanita here is coming along with us. Barnardo has had his moments in the sun…yesterday. Now, I would like Juanita to sit in and learn.’

  Anna quelled her surprise on hearing it said. The girl that Monty had been talking to was to accompany them but she had discovered already that the breadth of business knowledge between them lay with Monty.

  ‘Fine, Miguel…it’s your call,’ Anna answered hoping that her use of English would be understood. She couldn’t keep from looking across the room for him and she met Monty’s stare. ‘I…I do want to have the notes from yesterday’s meeting that Barnardo has prepared. Excuse me for only a moment; can you do that, please?’

  She had used Miguel’s name for him and she was indifferent now to what the man thought as she gathered up her things and walked purposefully towards Monty’s desk, her breath catching in her throat and her heart beating a little quicker.

  ‘Hi,’ he said softly and gave her a casual glance. ‘Difficult this isn’t it? Are you okay?’

  ‘Yes…but I can’t talk. Sorry,’ she murmured over barely parted lightly glossed pink lips. He saw that they were pressed shut to stifle saying more. Her look was almost stern and business-like now, a new sight for him to take in and remember for the next time. ‘I want the envelope that you’re still holding…with the notes from yesterday. May I have it, please?’

  ‘I thought to do that later…upon your return.’

  ‘Do this for me?’ She felt the paper slide across the palm of her outstretched hand as if in a caress.

  ‘Okay.’

  ‘This isn’t exactly easy…’ she whispered and pretended to look at the envelope’s contents. Anna pursed her lips as if offering a silent air kiss and turned away.

  If she intended to appear in control she felt otherwise; there was an uncomfortable sense of loss. The magic of the early morning hours with him, after a loving night, were unlike those she had vainly hoped could continue a while longer.

  4

  Learning About Each Other

  ‘You look quite stunning.’

  Monty stood at their rendezvous place. His admiring glances took in all of her and he smiled broadly. Anna soon took hold of the hand held out to her and gripped it fiercely.

  ‘I just don’t know how I got through the day or earned my pay…’

  ‘Marketing is about selling the possible,’ he winked and sounding far too wise, ‘or so I am led to believe. We’ve made it through…’

  ‘That is so…’

  She had ‘got through’ the working day, somehow, and offered all the right answers to the questions posed to her or offered credible answers when an opinion was sought. She didn’t let go of his hand until they entered the crowded marble floored mall of the compact shopping complex that occupied a busy island site close to the hotel.

  ‘And now you’re travelling light. Good.’

  ‘Yes,’ she smiled radiantly. ‘Like it?’

  ‘I said you looked stunning.’ Monty squeezed her hand just to make the point and Anna clasped his arm until he stopped and she could snatch a kiss from him, indifferent to the throng all about them.

  The time had been found during her day to go out and buy a few things especially the short, softly coloured turquoise halter necked shift dress that had caught her eye and that she now wore. She had seen it in a bargain buy store and had chosen the flattering dress with mischievous intent, liking the simplicity of its fastenings and the rucked skirt that finished just above the knee. This minor detail gave the item a flamboyant flourish when she twirled in it.

  Monty would find the dress easy to unfasten she thought after telling him, ‘I bought it especially…for tonight.’

  ‘I had no time to prepare for our date,’ he confessed. ‘How was your day? I didn’t hear a thing from you.’

  ‘It was shorter than yours.’ She followed him down the narrow smelly stairs to the parking level where he had left his car. Monty was still in his work day suit but had taken off his tie and partially unbuttoned his shirt. Even now he looked stunningly casual.

  Anna stroked the skin of his neck; another touch. That was all she wanted to offer as a little sign that they were together once more and that it mattered to her.

  ‘Miguel had me at it…filling the gaps in a project report he’d cobbled together. I give him ideas and he ignores them…or tweaks them to make the whole paper look like it’s all his own work. At least I do my own thing with the artwork for my project plan…the Merc cars project.’

  Monty’s voice echoed in the confined space close to the exit door they needed to reach the parking deck that he had chosen earlier in the day.

  ‘I know all about that and you’ll get the credits…count on it.’ In spite of the acrid latrine-like odour within the confined space she made him stop once more. ‘Look at me…now promise me that we’ve said enough about work? Enough of that for tonight…promise?’

  ‘Anna,’ he sighed.

  ‘Go on, promise,’ she implored.

  ‘Every moment spent talking in this smelly hole…’

  ‘Only delays other better moments?’

  ‘Clever you,’ he teased and pulled free. ‘Let’s go and then you can really remind me how it goes.’

  ‘As if!’ she laughed and prodded him gently in rebuke.

  He led the way walking purposefully now until they got to his car. She was unsurprised to see a colourful VW Beetle, a sunny yellow convertible. It seemed to conform to the image she had of him, evidence of the ebullient, live for the moment, nature of the guy she had taken up with. She heard the squeak of the car’s alarm as he pressed the button on the key fob.

  ‘First this,’ he now said and put his arms about her neck to draw Anna close. ‘I’ve wanted to really do this with you all day. But…kissing is forbidden during office hours.’

  ‘Tried it on, have you?’

  ‘Only with a beautiful seductive lady from London…’

  ‘I believe you, and….the temperature’s rising,’ she soon murmured on a giggle against his lips. Monty’s kisses had varied in intensity to her lips and eyes, her throat and the skin of her shoulders.

  ‘Not to mention something else. See the effect you have on me…or, should I say can you feel the effect?’

  ‘Both,’ she murmured and looked at him for a moment with stilled eyes. ‘I’ll wake up soon and believe this is all really happening.’

  ‘It is happening. Now…let’s go.’

  They parted and settled into the bucket seats of the car as Monty brought the engine to life. Its soft roar echoed off the dimly lit walls of the still busy underground garage as he moved out of the space.

  ‘Monty?’ she whispered as her hand stroked his leg and moved up.

  ‘Don’t! Don’t do that!’ The car was brought to a juddering halt.

  ‘I just
thought to check if it’s been as difficult for you today as it has been for me…to concentrate on anything else for too long?’

  ‘You can feel it has been!’

  They laughed and nuzzled kisses. A car horn blared and Monty offered a cheery wave of acknowledgment that he’d move on. He drove assuredly up the twisting loops of the garage ramps until they were outside in the evening light and sought to find a gap in the traffic.

  ‘Quick!’

  ‘I’m doing what I can…in spite of the distractions you keep offering,’ he admonished in a playful tone as with a surge of power they filled a space before racing away. When it was safe to do so, and unashamed, he took hold of the hand that she had lain on his thigh and moved it to his crotch. ‘Maybe this shows you how it is?’

  ‘Really…really,’ Anna tutted theatrically before she took her hand away slowly.

  ‘It’s one colleague to another…’

  ‘Don’t remind me…or say that again!’ she retorted in a sudden flash of anger that surprised him for its intensity. Monty slowed down. ‘Is that clear?’ she continued but in a softer tone of voice. ‘I’ve thought about that side of us being together all day…should it be on or should we stop…call it off? I didn’t want to do that, think. I feel too much at the moment, but…it just came to mind, unwanted.’

  Monty felt her hand slide onto his, the one that he placed on the gear lever out of habit. Anna lapsed into silence and they drove on for a while lost in thoughts provoked by what he had taken to be a simple remark, far too simple and obvious.

  It had touched a nerve in Anna. He felt too high on the wonderful change in his own circumstances, his love life, to have given the wider consequences of making out with her a second’s further thought.

  ‘I’m sorry for what I said,’ he now offered by way of making up to her. Anna moved closer, enough to lay her head against his shoulder for a moment.

  ‘I’m trying not to think about things and about…me flying out of here tomorrow,’ she now said haltingly.

 

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