"Oh dear, you're looking glum," Clara the reception nurse said when Shay walked into the kitchen at work, having just arrived. "Trouble?"
Shay sighed. Was it that blatant? She smiled. "Man trouble."
"Isn't it always?" Clara laughed. "What's he done now?"
"Says he's in love with me."
"From the looks of you, I can tell you're not over the moon about it. He's probably lying."
Shay considered it, but she didn't think so. Peter didn't readily admit to emotions and why would he? It wasn't like she was the only lay going for him, and she was probably the least likely to catch his interest. Unless he really was manipulating her because she'd refused him. But then there was Alex's warning. She hadn't said he was using her; she'd said he was in love with her and Shay should run a mile.
"When a man's in love with you," Clara continued, "you know it. You can't get rid of them. They're like lost puppies, incapable to doing anything but follow you around."
Clara's depiction made her smile, although she had trouble picturing Peter as a lost puppy. "What about when an inappropriate man is in love with you?"
Clara popped a tea bag in her cup and looked back at Shay. "That's a train wreck you quietly pass by and never look back."
Nodding absently, Shay looked away. Clara only confirmed what she knew; what everyone was saying. It only sent more tension through her body. Peter didn't deserve consideration. For all his faults, he didn't deserve more than being passed by while other grimly ignored his suffering. Worst was that she was the only one who could address him. Shay wanted to stamp her foot with annoyance. Why was this down to her to rescue Peter? It would be like rescuing a wounded animal, all teeth and claws—and other things that were completely the opposite—heady, urgent and demanding. Christ, she was in trouble.
She tried to distract herself with work, restocking supplies throughout the clinic, but he wouldn't release her mind. After the whole clinic was restocked, she returned to her station and picked up her phone.
Peter, she texted him.
Yes.
Her heart started racing and her fingers shook. She wasn't in love with him. She was too smart to go anywhere near him. So why was she acting like this? Where are you?
At work.
She didn't know what to say now. A million things were rushing through her head, but she couldn't commit anything to the screen. In the end, she decided there was no way to lead to what she wanted to know, so she just had to go there directly. What do you want from me?
Infuriating silence met her for a long time. If he dismissed her now, that would be it. Anything like: can we talk about it later? or I'm in a meeting, can't talk, and it was all over. She would do what everyone advised, including herself, and just delete his number. The worst was that she didn't know which answer she wanted, letting fate make the decision for her—or him, unwittingly.
I don't know.
Shay closed her eyes, knowing the answer was honest. This was where he could have said a hot night together, to burn away any residual feelings, but it wasn't what he'd said. He didn't know what he wanted, which for any other guy would result in a slamming door in the face, but for Peter it was not only an admission, but also an acknowledgement that his mind was approaching uncharted territory. And for him, that was big.
I should run a mile from you.
I'm a bit torn how to respond to that.
Shay smiled. At least he was acknowledging the position she was in. In terms of relationships, Peter was an absolute beginner. He couldn't even articulate what it was he wanted. Perhaps if all he wanted was a night of passion, things wouldn't be so bad, but he wanted more; he just couldn't say what, or even specify it.
The screen remained clear; he was waiting for her. It was her move now.
Do you want me?
Yes.
Why? Another test she was putting in his path, but she didn't really know what she wanted him to say.
I just do.
For how long?
I can't see past where I am.
Are you aware how bad a prospect you are for a girl.
A girl like you. Some think I've got things going for me.
Depends on what you're selling.
I am a bit of an expert on selling.
Are you now?
Let me come around.
Shay had not intended to let it get to this point. Him not knowing where she was had been the cornerstone of what kept her at a safe distance. And what would you do if you did?
Sell.
What would you say?
Probably very little.
Shay couldn't help the smile creeping across her mouth. Peter was perfectly capable of distracting her physically, even mesmerising her. Heat flared in her stomach. It would be so easy, just to type in her address and relinquish all responsibility for this decision.
Reality set in. What was she doing? She was just about to let a predator into her patch. Sorry, I have to go, she quickly wrote and put the phone away. She'd been so close, even wishing he would come over and distract her, while he ripped her to pieces.
Her heart was pounding and her hands were clammy. If she was supposed to be staying away from him, she was going in the completely wrong direction. She flatly refused to think about it for the rest of the day.
Jess was already home, toasting some bread by the kitchen bench when Shay walked in. "Hey," Jess said. "How was work?"
"I texted Peter," Shay admitted, as if she'd committed a crime, which was likely what she'd done in Jess' eyes.
"Why?"
Shay shrugged as she placed her bag down on the table next to the door. "I just wanted to know how he was doing, I guess." That wasn't strictly true.
Jess groaned. "You're not responsible for him."
"If not me, then who is?"
"He's rich and he's hot. He won't have trouble getting someone to put up with his crap. There's a whole bunch of girls who are only after guys like him."
And Peter was smart enough to not want anything from them, Shay thought. No wonder he was beyond jaded; these women seeing him for the things he had, not caring what he was like or what they had to put up with to get the car and the apartment, maybe even the hot guy to show off.
That is what she would be leaving him to, knowing he sought something with more substance. Peter would grow harder if she turned away from him. "Argh," she growled.
"What?" Jess asked with surprise at Shay's seemingly odd reaction.
"I don't want him to end up like that."
"It’s probably inevitable."
Shay flopped down on the couch. There was no way to win this. If Peter talked about being trapped, she could relate to it. Peter had reached for a lifeline out of the isolation and she was considering cutting him loose. "I'm not going to be able to live with this," Shay finally said.
"With what?"
Shay got up and grabbed her bag.
"Where are you going?"
"I have to go."
"No, you don't," Jess said, knowing exactly where she was going. "This is the dumbest thing you've ever done."
"Probably, but I can't not do it."
Shay walked out the door and down to the street. Her heart was racing again. She had probably just made the biggest decision of her life, knowing it could lead to years of heartache, or it could not. It could fail utterly, but it could also not. She had to give him a chance. Biting her lips, she worried as she walked to the tube.
Chapter 29
* * *
The security guard still recognised her and let her through when she arrived at Peter's apartment building. Taking the elevator up to his floor, she took a deep breath, not believing she was doing this. She'd never felt so nervous.
Tentatively she rang the doorbell, realising there was no turning back now.
"I knew you would come," he said when he opened the door, smiling broadly. Taking a step to her, he snuck an arm around her back and sharply drew her to him, into a kiss. The kiss flowed through h
er body, drugging her. He was solid and warm and his whole body was pressed to hers, tasting like him and a faint hint of wine, along with his scent, taking over every one of her senses.
His lips stroked hers, his tongue demanding entrance. It was all the sweetness and passion a kiss should be, and Shay was forgetting every one of her concerns, leaving her dazed when it broke.
Peter lifted her legs up around his waist, carrying her to the couch and sat down so she straddled him. His eyes roamed her body and his hands stroked up and down her thighs, making it very hard for Shay to focus.
"I thought we could talk," she said as he started peeling her blue cardigan off her shoulder.
"Uh huh," he smiled, looking teasingly into her eyes. "Talking is exactly what I want to do right now." Reaching up, he claimed her lips again, his hands stroking down her bare arms. It was too much sensation; Shay couldn't keep control of it, especially as he drew her closer, drawing her hips to his, letting her feel how ready he was. Biting her lip as he moved his attention to the column of her neck, she tried to keep the immediate objective in her mind, but she was losing grasp of it.
Peter peeled her t-shirt over her head, dropping it on the floor behind her. "I can't express how much I've missed you."
"I am getting an idea, but we really do need to talk about this."
"Can we talk later? You've been torturing me day and night, denying me when you're all I can think about. No doubt, we'll talk and I'll say something that pisses you off and you'll run away. So can we please do it first, because I can't handle this aching need any more. Plus, you're sitting here in my lap, topless, and ooh, with a front clasping bra. You do love me," he said, flicking the clasp and it gave way, leaving her breasts bare for him.
"The jury is out in that regard," she said, but had trouble finishing the sentence as his warm hand cupped her breast, teasing the nipple between his fingers. Maybe he had a point; she was having difficulty focusing on anything other than the friction of him pressed to her pulsing core, heightened by him deviously kneading her breast, stroking the bare, sensitised skin.
Again his lips sought her neck, breathing her scent in, teasing her until her eyes couldn't focus. His hands on her backside, pressed her to him. There really was no way they would be able to carry on a conversation right now.
Bringing her arms around, she cradled his head, burrowing her fingers into his hair. Her body was on fire and she needed to taste him again, feel his solid body under her hands.
He urged her to lean back, letting him trail his mouth lower, take her aching hard nipple in his mouth. Shay arched further into the claim he'd take on her body and he swung her around to lay her on the couch, moving himself above her, nestled in between her thighs. Her core convulsed in anticipation as his weight came down on her. She really had never wanted someone as badly as she did him; only he could do this to her, undo her so completely.
Shifting back slightly, he undid the top button of his shirt then pulled it over his head, giving her the additional joy of feeling his skin pressed to hers. Her legs circled around his thighs, pressing him closer to her.
"Missed me?"
"Yes," she said breathlessly.
"You shouldn't have made me wait so long."
Responding to that was more complicated that she could manage right now and him grinding his hips to hers made those confused feelings dissipate, replaced by pure desire. She needed him closer, inside her, but there were clothes in the way. "Please, Peter," she pleaded, not able to take the tension anymore. She felt like she was about to explode; it actually hurt.
"This is where I've been for weeks as you refusing to come to me, or let me come to you. Pent up and frustrated and in love with you."
"Do you even know what love is?"
"Enough to know it hurts." He had stopped moving, was just lying on her like dead weight, staring into her eyes.
"I thought it was best for both of us that we not do this," she said. Peter didn't move, just kept staring at her, and she couldn't read his thoughts. "I'm young, and you're you. Neither one of us is suited to be in a relationship, much less in love."
"But we are," he said after a while.
Shay didn't know what else to say. What was there to say? She’d tried everything to fight it, but it was true. Funnily, out of the two of them, it was she who’d fought hardest against it. "Yes," she finally said. It felt strange to acknowledge it, like she was letting a secret go, exposing it to the light.
Slowly, he brought his lips down to hers, softly kissing her. Shay's senses swam around her mind again, filled with every form of deliciousness. This trouble certainly had its reward. She sought a deeper kiss, wanting more of him, all of him in fact.
Wrapping her arms around him, she held him to her. His hand travelled down her side to her hip, tugging on the edge of her jeans. "Someday, we'll talk about the benefit of skirts." He shifted back, unbuttoning her jeans and tugging them down her thighs, then pulling the legs until they were clear. "That's better. We'll get rid of these, too," he said and drew her underwear down, leaving her completely naked.
Peter's hand travelled up her thigh and across her stomach, his eyes softly taking her curves. He sighed then shifted her thighs around him as he undid his own pants and nestled between her thighs again. Shay felt his hardness at her entrance and her stomach clenched in anticipation. Slowly, he pushed into her, filling her snugly. Shay moaned with the pleasure of it, the tension and the reward as he buried himself deep inside her. It felt so right, like things were finally as they should be. Positioning herself, she angled him deeper, taking the frisson of pleasure that stole through her. It was just so perfect.
He pulled back and thrust into her, making her gasp with the intensity of the sensation. How could she have denied herself this? Again he thrust into her, smoothly and firmly. Tension only built higher, ratcheting up, singing through her entire body. Further forceful thrusts drove her on until she clasped onto his arms, corded with tension and effort.
Her core tightened around him, pulsing wildly as her body drew together, tightening in preparation for the implosion overtaking her. Her breath froze as the convulsions started, flowing through her like a storm surge. The exquisite pleasure held her on a knife's edge, unable to move or breath as it flowed through her again and again, finally settling into complete exhaustion.
Peter tensed above her and she felt him pulse his essence deep inside her. Christ she was in trouble. She loved him so much.
Sinking down on her, he nestled his face in her neck and she turned her head to kiss his cheek. He was still buried inside her and she never wanted them to part.
How in the world were they going to do this? She had no idea if they were even capable of making this work. She'd always thought she wanted love, but now that she had it, she was scared—scared that they would screw it up—more for him than herself. He would grow hard if they failed at this, likely to never crack those defences again. It would crush her to see that.
Chapter 30
* * *
Shay's hair flowed. He'd arranged it so it tumbled down her shoulder and arm as she lay in bed with her head on his chest. She didn't say anything; she was just there, letting him play with her hair. Her arm lay across his chest, her hand resting under her chin. He wanted to kiss her, but held himself back. It felt like there was all the time in the world, but there was also a darkness threatening—ready to destroy the idyllic moment.
He didn't know if he wanted something he was incapable of doing. He wanted her so badly. He wanted her to look at him the way she did, but could he sustain it? Would that look turn sharp and accusing? The weight of the task ahead threatened to press down on him. Nothing about his life suited another person, but he couldn't let go either. He needed her; he needed to kiss her, to hold her. "What are you thinking?"
Shay shrugged, running her hand along his side. Desire flared again, but he really was too exhausted. It was close to dawn and sleep had not been one of the imperative issues that night.
"We both have to get up and go to work soon."
"I don't know what to do with all this," he admitted. It felt strange admitting weakness—stranger to feel it.
"I'm not really much of an expert myself."
"Have you been in love before?"
She shook her head, then smiled, shimmying up to kiss him. The touch was familiar and urgent. Once he kissed her, he couldn't stop. It just flowed out of him, his need. He loved feeling her on him, the press of her breasts, the softness of her body. But he wasn't sure he could do it again, even as the need to be inside her was relentless.
He was also pleased that she'd never felt this way about someone before, wanting to be the only one, perhaps irrationally, but he wanted to be the only guy in her life. Closing his eyes, he tore away, kissing her forehead, letting his lips linger on her skin. He couldn't face getting up, not touching her in some way. They belonged together.
"I have to go home and change," she said. "I need to go." But she made no move to leave.
"I can drive you home. If you are finally willing to let me know where you live."
"I don't know. You're trouble," she smiled. He could feel the smile on the skin of his neck as she burrowed her face in. "Everyone warned me against you. Warned me to walk away and never look back. My friends, your friend."
"My friend?" he said, tensing.
"Alex."
"You saw Alex?"
"At the Dragon boat race."
"What Dragon boat race?"
"It's a Kiwi thing. Anyway, I saw her there and we spoke."
"What did she say?"
"She told me to run a mile."
Peter's eyes narrowed. "Did she say anything else?"
"No, not really." She had said something else, he could tell, but Shay wasn't going to tell him.
The Gem (D'Arth Book 4) Page 16
