by Unknown
“Yes, I remember the change in you,” Vidar nodded. “It happened years ago. Father's transformation had been subtle but yours was sudden and dramatic. I couldn't help but notice.”
“But do you know what happened to cause it?” Lesya asked.
“I asked Mother once but she refused to answer,” Vidar looked back to me. “You were so broken and I kept thinking that in time you'd heal and then I could talk to you about it.”
“But I never did,” I whispered.
“No,” Vidar confirmed. “You never did. The only time I saw you show any kind of emotion was when I took Father's magic. You hadn't known, neither of us told you, so I'm afraid it was a bit of a shock when you came to visit me.”
“What happened?” I pressed.
“You screamed,” Vidar swallowed roughly. “It was a terrifying sound that made my hands tremble. I remember how it vibrated through the stone beneath my feet. Your eyes blazed like a bonfire and then you went into a horrible rage, cursing Odin and Griffin both. Then you burst into tears and just clung to me. I thought you were never going to let go. That was the day the ravens flew away. The wolves left the day after, though they come back every once in awhile to visit me.”
“Damn Odin,” I growled, the anger rising up inside me once more.
“Don't start that again,” Vidar gave me a little smile and it was enough to push the rage down.
“You're right,” I took Vidar's hand. “It's too late to be angry. Besides, this is partially my fault. I didn't think about Asgard when Odin left. It never occurred to me that letting him go would have other consequences beyond my own heartache. Love can be so selfish and blind.”
“Just like vengeance,” Vidar whispered and I gaped at him.
I'd always known that my son was brilliant. That behind the silence lay a mind constantly churning and a heart bigger than any body could contain. But those three words showed me just how insightful he was. And how compassionate. He didn't want me to hate Odin. He loved his father still, despite all Odin had done to him. I squeezed his hand and nodded, granting his subtle request for peace, and he smiled brightly.
“Was that the moment she changed?” Lesya brought us back to the subject at hand.
“No,” Vidar shook his head wearily. “Mother didn't change till much later. She was too angry to be apathetic back then.”
“So what the hell was it?” I huffed.
“Who have you spoken to already?” Vidar's eyes focused on me with keen intelligence. A lot like his father's penetrating stare.
“Arach, Samara, and some of my fire fey,” I began. “Then Kirill, Lesya, Hunter, and the Intare.”
“Then we went to Duat and she saw Anubis, Ma'at, and Re,” Lesya added.
“And ve just came from Bilskinir vhere ve talked to ze God Squad,” Kirill finished.
“Then that leaves Vero, the Froekn, Azrael, the twins, Luke, and Holly,” Vidar looked pensive. “I think you should see Azrael first. Your lovers know you best.”
“Azrael doesn't know,” Kirill declared. “I remember asking him if he had any idea vhy Vervain was upset and he didn't.”
“Perhaps he didn't want to tell you,” Vidar offered.
“Vhy not?” Kirill scowled.
“Azrael is a complicated man,” Vidar chewed at his lower lip. “He's compassionate and independent. I could easily see him withholding information because he thought it might cause more harm than good.”
I shivered, thinking about the evil place in Shehaquim. Was that why he hadn't told me about the torture? Had he thought it would cause more harm than good? And was that a good enough excuse?
“Vidar's right,” I said suddenly. “I need to see Azrael.”
“Good,” Vidar leaned forward to give me another hug.
“I love you,” I whispered to him.
“I love you too, Mother,” he kissed my cheek. “Don't worry about me. Just do what you need to do to get home to your own time.”
“I'm going to get your life back for you,” I vowed. “You won't have to suffer this much longer.”
“As long as you get your life back, I'll be satisfied,” he said gently.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Shehaquim was as beautiful as ever. We came out of the Aether right on the steps of Azrael's palace and instantly, the smell of sugary fruit and flourishing flowers washed over me. I glanced over my shoulder to see the Garden of Eden in all its glory. The four divisions of the garden; Winter, Autumn, Spring, and Summer, spread out around pools of milk, honey, oil, and wine. The rivers which fed those pools, stretched back across Shehaquim, flowing past the trees of Life and Knowledge which grew in the center of the garden. But I wasn't there to see the garden, I was there to see the Angel of Death.
After visiting with Vidar, we'd returned to Pride Palace to get some food and rest. But it had turned out to be much more than that. We had arrived to find the Intare celebrating the return of their loved ones and I had the joy of meeting all the wonderful women my boys had found love with... and all of their children. The Palace was full of laughter and love, with children ranging from toddlers to teenagers roaming the halls. My beloved library was being put to good use, imparting its knowledge on a new generation of lion cubs, and those less inclined to read enjoyed the full size theater in our basement.
I couldn't help but think that this had been the goal of my lioness magic all along. Not Nyavirezi's cruel control but this wild celebration of life. Magic wanted to flourish, it wanted to live, and my lioness magic was finally reaching its full potential. I saw the glow of it in every young eye and felt the bright cords linking us all together. These new Intare hadn't strained my magic, they'd invigorated it. Yes, it would take more energy to sustain them but the power they added to the Pride was worth it. It was an immense comfort to see them all so happy, to know that someday, this would be ours.
Now I stood on Azrael's doorstep, refreshed from a good night's sleep beside Kirill. We walked up the steps hand in hand and then Kirill knocked loudly on the tall, ornate door. Shouting came from within, some kind of argument, and then the pound of angry footsteps. The door swung open to reveal a dark haired man with sparkling green eyes and sculpted features. No, not a man, an angel. Midnight wings spread out behind him, shaking in irritation as he set his annoyed gaze on me.
“What do you wa-” his thick shoulders dropped, as did his wings and lower jaw. “Mom?”
“Who the fuck is it?!” Another male voice came from inside the palace.
“It's...” the angel before me whispered.
“It's what?” Another angel grabbed the edge of the door and swung it open further so he could glare at us. He was an exact replica of the first man, except where the first one had short hair, this one wore his long and straight down his back. “Holy hand grenades,” he whispered and I started to laugh.
“That's my line,” I smiled at him. “I'm guessing one of you is Sebastian and the other is Dominic?”
“It's not her,” the first one sighed in disappointment and swallowed hard.
“Of course it's not her,” the long-haired one growled. “Our mother is dead. How many times do I need to tell you to accept that? This doppelganger is just some bastard's idea of a joke.”
“I'm from the past,” I held up my hand and flashed my ring at them, making them both gape at me again. “I haven't met you yet,” I rubbed my belly, “I haven't even met your older brother yet but I assure you, it's me. I'm not a doppelganger, I'm your mother.”
“Mom?” The first one asked again, with more hope.
“And you are?” I held my arms out to him.
“Dominic,” he whispered as he rushed into my embrace. His brother waited half a second before he followed Dominic's lead, and the twins surrounded me with arms and wings and love.
“Why are you here, Mom? ” Sebastian pulled back first and looked from me to Kirill. “Hey, Uncle Kirill,” he said distractedly.
“Hello, Bastian,” Kirill nodded.
“W
hy is she here?!” Dominic nearly screeched. “Our mother returns from the dead and all you can say is; why are you here?”
“Well she didn't come back from the dead just to visit,” Sebastian growled.
“Stop fighting, boys,” I growled louder than Sebastian and they both went quiet. “Your sister, Samara, brought me forward from the past. She says I can change the future, your present, if I just find out what happened to make me ambivalent about Arach starting a faerie war.”
“You mean, you can change things so you wouldn't die?” Sebastian asked.
“And Dad wouldn't go insane?” Dominic added.
“Azrael's insane?” I sighed and turned to Kirill. “Well that's two outta three. Looks like you're the last sane man standing, honey. Unless I count Re, that is.”
“Azrael has lost his senses?” Kirill asked the twins, ignoring my useless blather. “Vhy didn't you tell me?!”
“He's not crazy exactly,” Sebastian shrugged but before he could say more, a gray blur came screeching out of the house to attack me.
“What the...?” I looked down at the tabby cat snaking around my feet as he purred aggressively. He looked up and bellowed balefully. “Nicholas,” I gasped and picked him up. “How are you still alive?”
“Asks the dead woman,” Sebastian smirked and Dominic whacked him in the chest. “What? It's funny.”
“Yep, you definitely got my twisted sense of humor,” I spared a smile for Sebastian before I went back to scratching Nick.
“Bastian is a little more twisted than you,” Dominic rolled his eyes.
“But how is my cat still alive?” I asked them.
“Azrael started secretly feeding him manna,” Kirill explained before the boys could speak. “He knew how much you loved Nick and he didn't vant you to lose him.”
“Oh, Az,” I whispered as I rubbed my face against Nick's. Then I looked up at my twin sons. “Where is he? Where's your father?”
“Where else?” Sebastian shrugged.
“In Hell,” Dominic finished for him.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
I went into the palace with the twins but it was only long enough to set Nick down and change into something more wing friendly. By that, I mean that I borrowed a pair of pants and a specially made angelic top which magically separated when you sprouted wings. I wanted to shift into my half-dragon form so we could fly to the Hell gate at the far end of Shehaquim. Otherwise it was going to be a long walk.
The twins carried their Uncle Kirill by his arms, like they were out for a stroll. Kirill dangled comfortably between them with a huge smile on his face. He always had loved to fly. Kind of ironic for a lion. I flew beside them, enjoying the chance to stretch my wings, and the trip didn't take all that long. Soon we were landing in front of the gates to Hell and their dragon guardian.
“Vervain?” Salem cried as he ran forward, the earth vibrating beneath us. “Vervain! Look at you, you're not dead! You look fantastic! A little round about the middle but fantastic.”
“I'm from the past,” I smiled at him and rubbed my belly as I changed back into my more human form. “And I'm not round, I'm pregnant. I just saw your home for the first time a few days ago.”
“Wow, that was a long time ago,” Salem plopped his head down beside me. “You used your fairy ring?”
“Yep,” I laughed. “Leave it to a dragon to take this all in stride.”
“We're magical creatures,” he smiled, showing off his sharp teeth. “Anything is possible when you're made of magic.”
“That's so true,” I looked over at my sons and smiled. “Speaking of magical, aren't my boys handsome?”
“Aw, Mom,” Sebastian whined. “You always have to embarrass us.”
“I'm fine with you calling me handsome,” Dominic grinned.
“Suck up,” Sebastian smacked him and then Dominic smacked Sebastian back.
“Boys!” I growled and they stopped immediately.
“They're spectacular children, V,” Salem nodded his head in approval. “They're father is kind of crazy right now but they're great. Don't mind their fighting, that's just affection.”
“Why is everyone saying Azrael is kind of crazy?” I frowned. “What does that mean; kind of?”
“You'll see,” Sebastian huffed before Salem could say any more about it.
“Well, it's good to see you, V,” Salem stepped back. “You gonna be here awhile?”
“Just long enough to change this future,” I shrugged.
“Oh, okay,” Salem grinned. “So that you don't die?”
“Exactly,” I nodded. Man it was nice to not have to give a long explanation.
“Good luck then,” Salem called and headed back to his cave and we headed into Hell.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Hell had frozen over.
I mean that quite literally. Normally, Hell was composed of an almost desert-like landscape made of sand, bones, blood, and gore. It was a palette of sun-bleached bone white, brain matter gray, dried-blood brown, flesh pink, and burning-ember orange. A path of crushed bones led through Hell. A path which you never wanted to stray from, since the sand bordering it was blood soaked and would stain your shoes something fierce. In the middle of this blood washed desert were the Ice Blocks, frozen prison cells which could bring your worst nightmares to life. This was where most of the resident souls were kept and tortured.
At the end of the bone path was a Gothic style mansion, complete with glaring gargoyles and creepy bats. The sky changed to dark gray and stormy over this mansion but just past it, it cleared up to a cheery blue. Because just beyond Lucifer's mansion was a replica of the countryside of Atlantis, where he was originally from. Luke was the one who'd taught me how to transform my territory. He was the master of territory magic, one of the first gods smart and humble enough to learn from the faeries. Luke allowed Hell to be Hell, right up to his front door. But everything beyond that he considered to be his home and he made sure it suited his tastes.
But, as I said, this was all in the past. Now Hell was a different type of wasteland. The blood was frozen into sparkling ice crystals, glimmering like rubies against the stark white. The literally skeletal trees and all the boney formations were draped in a soft blanket of snow and the usually scorched sky was steel gray. Icy wind scraped at my skin as I huddled into myself and then quickly turned up my internal body temperature. It's good to be a dragon.
My twins had their wings tucked around them but poor Kirill only had a light jacket on and began shivering immediately. I slid in against his side and turned up my heat even more so I could share it with him. He sighed and smiled down at me.
“Better?” I asked.
“Da,” he grinned, “and ze heat is nice too.”
“If you two want to snuggle in the snowdrifts, we'll just run along,” Sebastian rolled his eyes.
“Don't roll your eyes at me, young man,” I snapped and then gaped at them as they gaped back.
It wasn't that I'd used the mommy tone on him, though that did surprise me. It was that my dragon had emerged with the words. She had already been rising beneath my skin with my increased body heat so Sebastian's sass had immediately drawn her forth. Dragon rumble had combined with mommy voice to make it something truly terrifying.
“Could you maybe not use that voice while we walk through Hell, Mom?” Dominic asked casually.
“Sorry about that,” I gave them an apologetic look and they laughed.
“Remember when we were kids and she used to use that voice on us?” Sebastian asked Dominic as they both turned and started leading us through the winter wasteland.
“Yeah, I think I peed myself the first time,” Dominic chuckled.
“Stop it,” I called to them. “I don't remember all of that so how do I know you aren't just making it up to mess with me?”
“Oh, we're not,” Dominic turned and held up a hand like he was taking an oath. “You never had to spank us, all you had to do was use the dragon voice.”
“Da,” Kirill gave a little laugh. “It vas same vith Lesya and Vero. Zey never disobeyed you. Bad behavior vas saved for Trevor and I.”
“Don't mess with Mama,” Sebastian nodded.
“I hope I wasn't too harsh,” I frowned, my heart hurting a little from their teasing.
“Mom,” Dominic glanced at my face and then stopped and turned around fully. “You were the best. We were hoydens, all of us. Magical children who could have probably wrecked a lot of havoc if you hadn't controlled us so firmly. We needed that but you were also really good at comforting us when we were sad or-”
“Reading us stories whenever we were bored,” Sebastian jumped in. “You taught me to appreciate knowledge, wherever I could find it.”
“You taught me how to handle a sword,” Dominic added.
“But also taught us that using one should be our last resort,” Sebastian said solemnly. “You showed me how to look beyond physical appearances to see the true heart beneath.”
“And to give my own heart without reservations or conditions,” Dominic smiled sweetly. “You taught me how to love and showed me what love is.”
“Me too,” Sebastian shrugged. “But then, you are a love goddess,” he waved his hand at Kirill, who was looking down at me fondly.
“Thanks, boys,” I smiled gently at them. “That's good to hear.”
“When you change the future, don't change yourself,” Dominic said. “I love you just as you are.”
“I love you too, baby,” I let go of Kirill to hug my boys quickly. “Now, come on, let's get moving before we freeze into the landscape.”
“No kidding,” Sebastian shook his wings out and a rain of ice clicked free.
“Why didn't you warn us?” I waved a hand at the landscape. “About all this.”
“I didn't think I was important,” Sebastian shrugged.
