by Eileen Wilks
Cynna chewed on her lip. "I hate to say something's completely impossible. The line keeps moving, you know? But on a scale of 'sure' to 'no way, no how, not ever,' that hits pretty close to 'no way.'"
"Glad to hear it. Goddess, avatar, crazy demon prince—any of them would be tricky to bring in on charges." She paused, considering her options. "I don't have Cullen around to help with theory, but I do know someone with firsthand experience of what is and isn't possible for demons."
"You don't mean… hell. You do. You're going to bring it here?"
"Her," Lily corrected absently, trying to catch one of those will-o'-the-wisp memories. "Not it, not anymore. But she might not come," Might not be willing, might not be able. Lily wasn't even sure she'd be able to reach her. "I have to try."
"The Bureau won't like it."
Lily looked at where Rule stood, motionless, at the edge of the law enforcement bustle. He watched as they loaded Paul's body into the waiting ambulance. He had his expression locked down, nothing showing… but every inch of his body spoke to her of tension and pain. "The Bureau isn't my only worry."
FIVE
"YOU'RE what!"
"Going to get in touch with Gan, if I can. Bring her here, if she can come."
It was one thirty in the morning. They were headed for his car, parked a block away from the bloodstained concrete where Paul had died. Rule tried taking a slow breath. He needed to calm down. "I don't suppose it occurred to you to ask my opinion."
"Not necessary," she said dryly. "I knew what you'd think."
"After what it did to us? You don't remember, but it—"
"She," Lily said, her voice cold. "Not it. And maybe I don't remember the details, but I know enough. I know what I need to do. Think about it, Rule. Where else can I learn so much about demons but from one of them?"
Lily's soul had been split in two when Gan tried to possess her. Rule didn't understand how she could forgive the demon for that, even if she didn't remember what happened to them afterward, in hell. At least, it had happened to one of her—the one she couldn't quite remember.
He did. He remembered everything about that other Lily… what she'd said and done, the sheer courage of her, the companionship and the caring. The one thing he couldn't remember was her death. He'd been unconscious. He hadn't seen her sacrifice herself for him.
Rule's hip throbbed. He ignored it. "You don't have a way to reach her."
"Max does. Open the back door, will you? I need my laptop."
He grimaced and clicked the locks.
Max was Rule's friend… and a gnome. A half-gnome, actually, though Rule thought he was the only one outside of Max's own people who knew that. When they returned from hell with one unanticipated addition to their party, Max had agreed to let the little demon stay with him while they figured out what to do with her.
Max had come up with his own solution. Two weeks ago, he'd called to tell Rule that Gan was "going under" for a while—a term Rule understood to mean she would be living with one of the gnomish peoples. "Can't stay a demon, can she?" he'd demanded. "Growing a soul now. Gonna have to make up her pointy little head what she wants."
Typically, Max had hung up then.
"Just because she's growing a soul doesn't mean she's one of the good guys," Rule said as he slammed his door.
"She doesn't need a highly developed moral sense to be useful."
"She'll trick you." Demons couldn't lie outright, but they prized the ability to deceive.
"I'm pretty good at questioning people who want to trick me. Not that I think she'll try. She likes me." She opened her laptop and powered it up. "I'm going to work on my report."
Irritation flickered into anger. "You don't care to discuss your plan to bring a demon into your investigation?"
She gave him a level look. "You mean argue, not discuss, and I'm too tired for it."
Guilt bit. He took a slow breath and pulled out into the street. Needs coiled in his stomach, a restless serpent with the sweetest of venom. The hairs on his arms stirred with the serpent's breath, and its tail wrapped round his heart, controlling the beat.
He needed to Change. Still. Again.
Hell has no moon. Rule had entered that realm in wolf form, so wolf he'd remained. But lupi who stay too long in wolf form eventually lose the human in the beguiling simplicity of the beast. Rule hadn't been lost, not quite. But returned to Earth and his human form, he wasn't the man he used to be. The balance between man and wolf had shifted, and the control he'd spent his life building had thinned to tissue, easily torn.
Tonight it had torn.
The demon had come at them from upwind, and in damnable silence. He'd had no warning until he saw it—and in seeing it, he'd lost the power of choice. Instinct had ruled, and instinct craved teeth and claws for that enemy, four legs for speed and senses keened to a pitch no human could know. Not even a part-time human.
Twenty minutes, he told himself as he pulled into the traffic on I-295. It should take no more than twenty minutes to reach their temporary home. By then he'd be back in control.
Rule's father had been pleased when the Bureau sent Lily to Washington. After the Supreme Court put an end to centuries of legal persecution of the lupi, Nokolai had joined with two other clans to purchase a row house in Georgetown. Isen had wanted a presence in the capital, both for show and for lobbying.
Most of the time, Rule was that presence, the public face of a people accustomed to the shadows. To put it another way—as Lily once had—he was the lupus poster boy, the safe, almost tame image they presented to the public. He understood the image, how to use it, what was needed. A whiff of danger made him exotic, intriguing enough to be invited to all the best parties.
All the best beds, too, though he no longer accepted that sort of invitation.
Rule glanced at the woman beside him. The tilt of her head toward her laptop swung her hair forward, hiding her face. Her hair was beautiful, black and lustrous by day, keeping its secrets at night. Absently she lifted a hand and tucked a strand behind her ear, gifting him with her profile. The glow of her skin in the monitor's light reminded him of the moon—cool and pale.
She smelled of blood. Paul's blood.
Rule gave his attention to the road once more.
Lily had fought for him tonight. The demon had come to kill him—a fact she'd recognized before he did. He thought of the way she'd moved, weapon ready, focused on her target. If she'd felt fear, she'd ignored it.
It wasn't the first time he'd seen her fight. It wouldn't be the last. The thought terrified him. She was small, easily damaged, and slow to heal. Yet mixed with the fear was pride. That, he would never have expected.
Who would have thought a warrior would suit him so well?
Lily closed her computer. "You okay?"
"What do you mean?"
"You're obeying the speed limit. You've got to be either vastly preoccupied or exhausted."
He smiled because she'd expect it. "A bit of both, I think. When will—"
"There's something—" she said at the same time.
They stopped, exchanged a smile. His was more genuine this time. "Ladies and federal agents first. You have questions." Questions were the way she dealt with the world's cruelties and confusions.
Lily said, "Yes, and my first one is, what were you about to ask?"
"I should have seen that coming. All right. When will Paul's body be released?"
"Hard to say. The lab won't be able to learn much, but they have to go through the motions."
Rule nodded. Those of the Blood—lupi, gnomes, and others— had magic woven into their cells, which played hell with laboratory results. That didn't mean the authorities would omit one jot from their usual procedures. "When it is, I'll escort it back to his people."
"But… you? They won't release it to you. His family will have to claim the body."
"Isen is arranging matters with the Leidolf Rho. He'll see that your legalities are observed, and I will take Pau
l's body to his clanhome. You'll have to accompany me, but you won't be in any danger. Leidolf is ruled by a cur, but even he doesn't make war on women."
"Well, that was certainly my first concern." She shoved her hair back with both hands. "Why? Why do you want to do this?"
"The susmussio." That was part of the serpent in his belly, the coils of need and rage and ragged ends. "Paul died because of it. Because of me."
"You don't know that! He might have helped us even without the, uh, susmussio. Or he might have figured the fight was too good to miss, or that the demon would come after him anyway. Or that he had to protect the female—your crowd is bent that way."
Rule shook his head. "It doesn't matter. Even if I'm wrong about his motives, his actions were those of an honorable lupus who'd accepted submission in combat. He was exhausted, ill-equipped through training or experience to fight a demon, yet he came to my aid." Rule bit out the next: "He felt responsible for me."
"But…" She was silent for a long moment. Rule knew the problems she'd be ticking off in her head: the investigation, the enmity between Nokolai and Leidolf, the enemy who'd apparently reached out from hell to attack them.
To attack him. It was her poor luck to be nearby… but that wasn't something either of them could change.
Her voice was quiet. "You don't feel you have a choice."
"No more than you could choose not to hunt whoever sent the demon that killed Paul."
"All right, then." She took a deep breath, let it out. "We'll work something out."
He touched her hand briefly, a thank-you. "You're in luck on one count. Our trip won't take long. Leidolf Clanhome is in Virginia."
"How far is it from Halo?"
Halo, North Carolina… where his son lived. "It doesn't matter. You know I can't go there."
"I know you're convinced of that. We'll have to ditch the press anyway so they don't follow us to Leidolf's Clanhome."
"The press are only part of the problem. Any of his friends or neighbors could recognize me. His grandmother agrees. She doesn't want me there."
"Toby does."
A muscle jumped in his jaw. Toby had come up to spend the weekend with them shortly after they arrived in D.C. They'd spent their time together indoors, unable to see the sights together. Toby hadn't liked that. "He's a child still. He doesn't understand what the consequences would be if he were known to be my son."
"The clans don't harm children."
"His neighbors might. Some of those he thought were friends suddenly wouldn't be, or their parents wouldn't let them be. His life would never be the same. It would be different if…" If he could be raised at Clanhome, surrounded by his clan.
Rule shut the door quickly on that thought. Toby's mother would never agree. She might not want to raise their son herself, but that didn't mean she'd let Rule have him.
"His life won't be the same anyway," Lily said quietly, "once he hits puberty."
"That's years away still. Leave it alone."
She said nothing, but held out her hand. After a second's hesitation, he took it. For a time they were both silent.
She spoke again as they passed the Arlington exit. "About this susmussio thing… you didn't get to undo it. What does that mean? Are there consequences for you or for the clan?"
She was learning, he thought with a flick of pleasure. She was beginning to think of the clan. As his Chosen, she was Nokolai, too, though she sometimes forgot. "Though things are never simple between Leidolf and Nokolai, there should be few consequences to the clan." As long as he handled things correctly, that is. "For myself… there are two rituals that may be observed. One is part of the burial service. Normally I would be expected to present an account of Paul's death in a formal response to questions."
"Normally?"
"Paul's people may not want Nokolai present."
"You mean his clan won't want you there."
"Not precisely. The Leidolf Rho would probably like to bar me from the ceremony, but the decision belongs to Paul's father, if he's alive. If not, his other male relatives will make the decision."
"Male?" she said sharply. "What about his mother? His sisters, if any?"
"Leidolf's customs are different from Nokolai and most of the other clans." He paused, choosing his words. "You won't care for some of their ways."
"That's two."
"Two?"
"Topics you'll need to go into more later. You said there were two possible rituals. What's the other?"
"If Paul's father is alive, I owe him a son's duty. I will offer it. He may not accept. Pride could hold him back, or a desire to shame Nokolai. Or pragmatism. In accepting, he would also take on certain responsibilities."
"What do you mean, 'a son's duty' ? What sort of duty?"
"Nothing so different from what you probably feel you owe your father. Not obedience, but respect, financial support if needed. My presence, if he wishes it, at certain occasions."
"Since your presence means my presence, too, I'd like to know…" She stopped to frown at her purse. Her phone was buzzing from its depths. She retrieved it, glanced at the caller ID, and sighed. "Of course." She thumbed it on. "Hello, Dad. It's after one in the morning here, you know."
Rule smiled faintly. Lily's father was well aware of the time difference. He was a stockbroker, and the Street was in their time zone. "Tell him we'll still try to fly back for Christmas."
She shot him a frown. "Yes, that was Rule. He'll be—I know she is, but with what happened tonight…"
They were nearly home. The street was quiet, the area thoroughly urban but more upscale than where Paul had lived. Here the row houses were brick or board or stone, the window boxes tidy, the Christmas lights tasteful. The tiny restaurant on the corner served decorative little seafood entries with mango chutney or saffron aioli.
In some ways, Rule preferred Paul's neighborhood.
"Tell Mother we'll try. That's the best I can do." Lily paused. "Well, how can I? She isn't speaking to me."
While Rule was trapped in hell with another Lily, something had gone wrong between this Lily and her mother. She'd told him little about it. He'd been patient, thinking their return to San Diego would shake things loose, but if they didn't go home for the holiday…
"You know I can't tell you much," she was saying. "You'll read about it, though. There was a demon, and—no, no, I'm fine." A pause. "He's okay, too, but someone else was killed. That's why… no. No one you know."
Rule passed the elegant little bed-and-breakfast where he'd spent a few pleasant nights on other trips to D.C. Whether here or in San Diego, he'd seldom brought women home. A few, yes— those few who'd become friends as much as lovers.
That life was over. There was only Lily for him now. After a lifetime of many women, there was only Lily. He wouldn't have changed that if change were possible, but tonight…
He felt it still. The moon's song throbbed through him, a bass drumming played on his bones, carried by his blood.
He shouldn't have. She was nowhere near full, and though he'd fought the Change once—and won, by a margin so small it shamed him—in the end he had Changed. That should have diminished the pull. Yet power still pooled in his belly, tangling with the other needs, and the wolf was close. So close.
He wanted sex.
The house where they were staying had a detached garage at the back of its narrow yard. He didn't look at his mate as he turned down the alley. What he wanted now had nothing to do with love or tenderness. He wanted a body to pound into, the smell of an aroused female filling him, the mindless rush to release.
Sex dissipated the strength of the Change need. Nettie called that "evolution in action," encouraging behavior likely to result in more children. Considering the low fertility rate of his people, Rule supposed that could be true, though he wasn't sure evolution applied to those of the Blood. Whatever the reason, though, sex worked. Even in adolescence, when control was all but nonexistent, a bout of hot, sweaty sex could reseat a lupus firmly
in his human form.
But it was risky if the wolf was too close. A wolf in rut didn't care about the female's pleasure… or even consent. With true wolves, an unwilling female could keep a male from mounting her. Men, however, had been raping women since the species arose.
He wouldn't risk Lily that way. He had to regain control on his own.
"Sure," she said into her phone. "I'll let you know." She disconnected and sighed. "I should have known he'd call. Unlike Mother, Dad actually reads his e-mail and text messages."
"He's upset that we might not be back for Christmas."
"He claims it's Mother who's upset. No matter what, I'm still supposed to show up so she can refuse to speak to me in person. God knows my job is no excuse."
There was too much bitterness in her voice… and he was more sledgehammer than scalpel tonight. Too preoccupied with his own needs, he admitted, to deal with hers with any delicacy. "That's one," he said, reaching up to hit the remote for the garage door.
"One?"
"Topic you're going to fill me in on later."
"Oh." She gave a slow nod. "That's fair."
The garage door slid up, the lights inside came on, and he turned in.
The garage smelled like most—of oil, hot metal from the car, exhaust. There were mice here, too, which pleased Dirty Harry. The cat spent a fair amount of time in the garage.
Rule breathed in more deeply as they left the garage to walk to the house. Though city smells still dominated, humus and cedar sweetened the air, too, and the hint of a breeze carried the scent of the old torn who'd been engaging in territorial disputes with Harry. He smelled the German shepherd next door, too. The dog was following them along the fence line.
Rule wanted to pace the darkness on four feet, too. To tip his nose toward the moon and join her song, mourning a life cut off young. So very young.
"Are you coming in?"
Until Lily spoke from the doorway, Rule hadn't realized he'd stopped. He mentally cursed his inattention. "Of course."
"You don't have to, you know."
