by Ellis Weiner
The same thing happened now. “It’s not enough just to rescue Cassie,” he said. “We have to do more than that.”
“You’re right,” Abigail said. “Which means . . .” She thought for a second. “What we need is a way to get Cassie back and make the Deans go away. I mean, make them leave town.”
“Okay, but why would they leave?”
“They’d leave if they thought they were going to get caught. That’s why they said no police.”
John nodded. “But if we tell the police, either they won’t listen to us because we’re a couple of kids, or they’ll show up in their police car and Dean will let Cassie run away.”
Abigail scrunched her face up in concentration. “So we need a way to get the police to show up after we have Cassie safe with us. Then the Deans will run away.”
John began, “But we can’t just . . .” Then he got that faraway, distracted look on his face, the one that signaled that a) he sensed that he had just had a great idea, but b) he had to wait until it traveled from the idea-having part of his brain to the idea-knowing part of his brain. Once it got there, he explained the idea to Abigail, who suggested some improvements. Then John dashed into the kitchen and down the steps into the basement.
He came back up carrying several things, including several lengths of thin rope, Abigail’s knapsack, and his own cassette-playing “boom box” (as I believe it’s called). At that moment Manny Mann arrived. Abigail grabbed Cassie’s collar and leash, and she and John piled into Manny’s car, and they all drove to—
Can you guess where? I know you think you can, but I have my doubts. Please. Take a guess.
“That’s easy, Narrator,” I can all but hear you say. “You think we’re not paying attention, but we are! We happen to know with great confidence that they’re going to 2430 Golden Apple Road. So ha ha HA, and so forth.”
Good for you, for taking a (somewhat obvious) guess. And good for me, for knowing you would be wrong. Their first stop was the campus of the Thespian Academy of the Performing Arts and Sciences, where they parked near the main theater. Manny waited in the car while the twins went inside.
Things were unexpectedly calm. Neither the cast nor the orchestra had arrived yet. The curtain was drawn, but you could hear people calling out and laughing behind it. John pointed to something and Abigail nodded. He dashed over to where he’d pointed, obtained a certain object, and hustled back to his sister. They looked around, saw no one, shrugged, and hurried out to the car.
“Got it,” Abigail said.
“Let’s go,” John said.
They—
But wait. It will have occurred to you that we have just read a description of John—with Abigail’s help—taking something that does not belong to him. There is a word for this—“stealing”—and it is my duty to inform you that stealing is wrong, and one ought not to do it. I know you know this and, more important, I know I know it. But I think we should forgive the twins on this occasion, for two reasons.
One is, they were only borrowing the object and intended to return it once they had used it. The other is that the object was an essential component of the twins’ plan to retrieve Cassie and to thwart Dean D. Dean. The Dean brothers already had a long history of doing bad things to the Templeton twins, their father, and even their dog. Who among us can forget the time Dean D. Dean pointed a gun at Cassie and pulled the trigger? (Answer: Those who haven’t read the first book YET.) The twins were willing to commit this little “crime” in order to correct a much larger crime that the Dean brothers had committed.
So, with your agreement that we will forgive the Templeton twins for having borrowed something without asking on this one special occasion, let’s move on.
Manny got a little lost once, but the twins knew they had the right address when they saw the black SUV parked in front of 2430 Golden Apple Road. Then the three sprang into action. By this, I do not mean they started jumping up and down and bouncing all over the street and the front yard. I mean that they began to set in motion their Plan. They did the following:
The twins got out as Manny Mann remained in the car.
John took the boom box and the object he had obtained and cautiously made his way into the shrubbery alongside the little porch in front of the Deans’ house. He hid the machine, and himself, in the bushes.
Abigail put Cassie’s collar and leash in her backpack and then—I can scarcely type this, my hands are shaking with such excitement—she walked right up to the front door of the house and rang the doorbell.
I know. Isn’t that amazing? It’s amazing. She just walked right up to the door and rang the bell. It seems so brave. You will notice that I have put a double space up there, before this paragraph. I felt I had to, in order to calm myself down before describing what happened next. There. I think I’m ready to proceed.
No, not yet.
Almost calm enough.
There. I have managed to calm myself down sufficiently to describe what happened next.
The door opened. Standing there was Dean D. Dean. He was dressed in a lovely tan suit, with a crisp white shirt and a red-and-gold-striped tie. But so what? Just because he was wearing nice clothes doesn’t mean he was a nice person. I urge you to remember that for the rest of your life.
“I think you have my dog in there,” Abigail said.
“Where is your brother?”
“At a drum lesson,” she said. (You will, of course, realize that this was a lie. Like stealing, lying is wrong, and one should not do it. But, as we discussed with regard to the stealing (or borrowing) of the object earlier, I think we may forgive Abigail for doing something one ought not do. Abigail—who never lied—felt that Dean D. Dean did not deserve to be treated the way one would normally treat a friend, relative, colleague, acquaintance, or even a total stranger. She felt it was permitted to lie to Dean D. Dean this one time, in order to rescue Cassie. Some people will not agree with her. But I do, and I expect that you do, too.)
“Oh, really?” Dean D. Dean said. He looked past her toward the street. “And how did you get here?”
“Our nanny drove me,” she said.
Dean D. Dean’s attention fixed on Manny Mann’s car. He nodded grimly and limped past Abigail, down the steps, and over to Manny’s car. He tapped on the window. Manny Mann lowered it. Dean D. Dean leaned in and said, “Abigail is going to visit with me for a little while. You can leave, and I’ll bring her home later.”
Manny Mann shrugged and said, “Okay.” He started the car and slowly drove away.25
Dean D. Dean returned to the porch, opened the door wide, and said to Abigail,
Won’t you come in?26
FOR FURTHER STUDY
It seems almost mean to interrupt the thrilling flow of the story with some silly questions, doesn’t it? Yes, which is why I refuse to answer them.
No, because I know the Narrator only asks these questions to advance my education and improve my reading experience.
Yes, but now it’s too late. You’ve tricked me into reading all the way down to answer “c.”
When Abigail lied about John’s “drum lesson,” did you throw the book across the room and cry, “That is disgraceful! I refuse to read another word about such wicked children!”?
If you answered “yes” to question 2, how are you able to read this question?
25. Can you believe it!?
26. And she went in! Can you believe that? Frankly, I can’t believe any of this, but it really happened!
The inside of the Dean brothers’ house reminded Abigail of some other place, and in a moment she realized what it was: the inside of their other house, the one the Templeton twins had been in the last time they had had to deal with Dean D. and Dan D. Dean. In other words, it was a poorly furnished mess.
Abigail walked down a little entrance hallway past a living room that contained just an old sofa and a big television. On the other side of the hallway was a dining room that contained nothing at all—no dining table, no cha
irs. The kitchen was straight ahead. Someone was standing in its doorway. He was wearing tan pants and a light-green shirt and was not nearly as beautifully dressed as his brother. As usual.
“Hi, Dan,” Abigail said.
Dan D. Dean glanced nervously at his brother, who was just behind Abigail, and said, “Look, just get your father to sign over some share of this lens thing, and we’ll let the dog go and that’ll be that.”
Abigail said, “How do I know you even have our dog?”
Dean D. Dean bent toward her with a big, fake, phony smile and said, “Why don’t you call her?”
Abigail yelled, “CASSIE!” From a space beyond the kitchen, and below everyone—in other words, from the basement—came the barking of the agitated, ridiculous, smooth-haired fox terrier.
“I want to see her,” Abigail said.
“And so you shall!” Dean D. Dean said. “Go look in the basement.”
“Dean—” Dan D. Dean said in a worried tone. “I’m not so sure that’s a good idea—”
“Why, it’s an excellent idea, Dan,” Dean D. Dean said. “How else is this young lady going to make sure it’s the right dog?” He took hold of Abigail’s elbow and began to steer her into the kitchen, toward the basement door.
She stopped. “How do I know you won’t shut the door and lock me in the basement?”
“Bwa-HA-ha-ha.” Dean D. Dean gave a fake laugh. “Why would we do a silly thing like that?”
“You did it last time.”
“That was different. Last time we kidn—I mean, we visited with you and your brother. This time we’re visiting with your dog. The two visits are obviously not the same thing.”
“Still,” Abigail said. “You need to come down there with me.”
Dean D. Dean’s eyes widened as though he had just heard an excellent idea. “Why, that’s an excellent idea!” he said. “Don’t you think so, Dan?”
“I don’t know, Dean—”
“Of course you do!” Dean D. Dean held out his hand to Abigail. “I will go downstairs with this lovely young lady, while you go on your errand.”
“Oh, that’s right,” Dan said abruptly. “I have to go somewhere because, uh, of an errand I have to go run and, um, do something somewhere . . .”
“No,” Abigail said, refusing to move. “Both of you have to come with me.”
“I can’t!” Dan said. “I have to run an errand!”
“Then I’m not going down there,” Abigail said.
“As you wish,” Dean D. Dean said. “You heard her, Dan. Both of us have to go down. You’ll just have to run your errand afterwards.”
“But what if there isn’t time?”
“Dan, there will be plenty of time.”
Dan D. Dean sighed and shook his head as his brother ushered him and Abigail through the kitchen toward the door to the basement. Dean D. Dean unlatched the hook that locked the door and put his hand on the doorknob, but then stopped. He turned to Abigail and said, “Of course, I don’t want to let the dog out. So when I open it, be sure to hurry through.”
He opened the door and stepped aside to allow Abigail to go first. Then the following things happened with unbelievable speed and breathtaking excitement:
Abigail sidestepped away from Dean D. Dean and shoved him through the door, down the basement steps!
Dan D. Dean cried,
HEY!
and grabbed her!
JOHN TEMPLETON CAME OUT OF NOWHERE (Well, not actually “nowhere.” He had sneaked out of the bushes and into the house through the front door when no one was looking) and pulled his sister away from Dan D. Dean and shoved him through the door! And down the steps!
Cassie came charging and skittering and bounding up the basement steps and out into the kitchen, her usually bright white fur rendered somewhat icky with spider webs and dirt, her eyes mad with happiness and relief and smooth-fox-terrier ecstatic deliriousness!
The twins slammed the basement door shut and locked it with the latch.
Abigail took off her backpack and dug around inside it until she found Cassie’s leash. She gave it to John, who called, “Cassie! Sit!”
Cassie saw the leash, heard the name tag and the license tag jingling on it, and began to leap into the air over and over and over and over and over and over and over (etc.) until John finally said, “Oh, for goodness’ sake!” and grabbed her and clipped on the leash. MEANWHILE—
Abigail had taken two lengths of rope out of her backpack. She gave one to John and, with the other, STARTED TO WRAP IT AROUND HERSELF!
Let me repeat that. Abigail had taken two lengths of rope out of her backpack. She gave one to John and, with the other, STARTED TO WRAP IT AROUND HERSELF!
Once Cassie was on the leash, John began to wrap himself in his piece of rope, too!
You are wondering: What could possibly be going on? Who wraps themselves with rope—especially in a strange house, with two grown-up (and angry) twin brothers desperate to get at them?
If you will kindly stop interrupting, you will see that certain things are happening in a certain manner. Your questions, and other thrilling questions, will be answered as you read the following:
One—or both—of the Deans began pounding on the basement door. “Very funny, little girl,” Dean D. Dean said. He was not laughing and, indeed, gave no indication that he thought anything was in fact very funny. “Now let us out and you won’t be hurt.”
“We don’t believe you,” Abigail said, winding the rope around herself tightly enough so that it didn’t fall to the floor, but loosely enough so that it wasn’t uncomfortable.
“Who’s ‘we’?”
Dan D. Dean said, “I think the brother is there, too.”
“YOU ‘THINK’?”
“It happened so fast—”
“Shut up, Dan.” Dean D. Dean moved closer to the door. “All right, look, you two. Let us out, and we’ll let you go.”
“Do you promise?” Abigail called back.
“Oh, yes, we promise.”
“Well . . .” Abigail looked at John. He had finished wrapping rope around himself. He gave her the thumbs-up sign and, with Cassie on her leash, moved quickly—well, as quickly as the ropes around him allowed—out of the kitchen to the front door and then outside. Abigail put on her backpack, made sure her rope was properly adjusted, then called toward the Dean brothers, “Well, okay. If you promise. I’m going to unlock the latch. But you have to give me one minute to get out of the house.”
“Deal!” Dean D. Dean said. “Splendid! Hurry up!”
Abigail called, “Okay, here I go,” and then gave the latch a quick little flick with her finger. Immediately the Dean brothers, believing the door to be unlocked, slammed into it, expecting it to fly open. But it did not fly open. Abigail had not actually unlocked the door but had left it latched. The door shuddered but remained closed.
“OW!” someone called.
“You didn’t unlock it!” Dean D. Dean yelled. “That’s not funny!”
“You were supposed to give me a minute!” Abigail called. “Now step back.” She paused. “I said step back!”
“We’re stepping back,” Dean D. Dean said.
“No, you’re not. You’re right next to the door.”
“OH, ALL RIGHT. HERE.” Dean D. Dean’s voice receded a bit as he and Dan D. Dean backed down the basement steps. “All right? Happy now?”
Abigail quietly unlatched the door and then immediately shuffled as fast as she could out of the kitchen and through the front door.
John was waiting for her on the porch. Cassie was sitting excitedly nearby, her leash looped around a post on the porch railing. Quickly, Abigail put her hands behind her back and John coiled a smaller length of rope around them. Then he put his hands behind his back and, as best she could as they stood back to back, she wrapped a small length of rope around them. It was then time for the Dean brothers to appear—which they did, banging out the front door in wild desperation, and then stopping abruptly when t
hey saw the Templeton twins.
Dean D. Dean gestured toward all the rope and said, “What . . . what . . . what . . .”
“I don’t like this, Dean,” Dan D. Dean said.
“What . . . what . . .”
“You kidnapped us, and then you tied us up,” John said.
“WHAT?”
“I mean, look at us,” Abigail said. “We’re all tied up.”
“WE didn’t do that! YOU did!”
“Oh, really?” John said with unusual emphasis. “Is that going to be your story?”
“What—It’s no story! We didn’t touch you! Wh—”
“Dean!” Dan said, holding up his hand. “Listen.”
Everybody listened. From somewhere in the distance, the sound of an approaching police car siren could be heard.
“Oh. Right. We called the cops,” Abigail said. “I may have forgotten to mention it.”
“THEY CALLED THE COPS!” Dan D. Dean said.
“So what?” Dean D. Dean said. “We haven’t done anything. We borrowed their dog. Big deal. We’ll deny it and it will be our word against theirs.”
“You tied us up,” John said.
“We did no such thing!”
“That’s not what the police will think.”
“Don’t be ridic—”
Dean D. Dean suddenly stopped speaking. His eyes shifted from the twins (and their rope) to his brother. The siren grew louder. Dan D. Dean clutched his brother’s arm and said, “We have to get out of here.”
“All right, Dan. Now don’t panic. I know it looks bad. The police—”
“The police aren’t going to believe us!” Dan D. Dean’s voice got more frightened with every word. “They’re going to believe two children. What are we going to say—that they tied themselves up? No one will believe that!”
