His eyes flash with what I believe to be desire, but the verdict is still out on that one.
Or, is it?
Would it make me a bitch if I allowed my feelings toward Quinn and Callum to taint my interactions with Ellis? Possibly. Am I a fool for even considering this? To be honest, the jury is still out on that one.
God. What am I going to do? It’s clear none of these boys are going to allow me to be with someone else. Since they are all so much bigger than I am, in muscle and mass, I really can’t rebuke them. Eventually, I will tire of fighting against them just to get laid when it’s practically flaunted right in front of me now.
Free for the taking.
But at what price?
He hums appreciatively under his breath. “That’s good. Now get dressed, please.”
He said please. A member of Callum’s squad treated me like I was someone, instead of a material object.
Biting my lip, I silently watch as he closes the door behind him. That knot growing in my stomach loosens to almost nothing. It’s then I realize I actually feel comfortable. For the first time since school started, I feel comfortable enough.
Can someone use the phrase, “fool me once shame on you,” if the person literally has done nothing to them to warrant it?
Most usually, you can judge a person by the way they look, dress, and act. At least, in my opinion you can. There are very few surprises in my life, but when it comes to guys my age, I’ve always been spot on.
I’m a stickler for reading people, seeing the way they interact with those around me when they think no one is looking. If I’m right about this, then I believe Callum is tugging those guys around like their pets. Quinn is obvious his closest friend. But what about Ellis and Asher? Maybe, just maybe, I need not disregard everyone in their group.
If Callum says he will stop me from being with anyone and they all agreed, then fuck it, I’ll humor them. But Callum won’t be the bastard I’m touching, sucking, or fucking.
Nope. He can sit back and watch.
For several minutes, I stand and watch the door of my closet. Each moment it doesn’t open, is one second closer to my conclusion. It’s bittersweet if you think about it.
Callum screwed me over in the past, and now, I really am screwing him over.
Ellis will be my first conquest, and no other victory will ever taste as sweet as it will when he’s the one kneeling at my feet.
CHAPTER 15
Since the day in my closet, I’ve kept my eye on Ellis. Watching his lithe, muscular body strut through the school with his boys like he owns the place. Watching him hop from one girl to the other, his interest in them too fleeting to act one. It’s been as frustrating as it has been enlightening, and he doesn’t even know it. Doesn’t know I’ve been watching him all this time, waiting for my moment to strike.
He’s a big fucking glass of cold water and I’m the idiot with an unquenchable thirst. He makes it all seem so effortless, too. His grace and poise, as he slips through the halls as if he’s floating on a cloud. He never seems to break a sweat, and something deep inside me craves to spy just the tiniest smattering of perspiration on his forehead from strenuous activity.
If I had a sweet tooth, Ellis would definitely be a white chocolate Reese cup—smooth, delectable, and rich on the outside, and wholesome, creamy, and succulent on the inside.
Let’s just say a few times, I had to check myself to make sure no drool on my chin. He’s that mesmerizing.
Now that I have pushed Callum and his douche of a bestie, Quinn, to the side, I finally got my chance to notice the other two.
I’m looking, and I’m fucking salivating. Asher is still a bit of a mystery, because all I’ve been focusing on for the past few weeks have been Ellis, but his time will come. Of that I am sure.
His irises are so blue you ache to swim to the pit of his seemingly bottomless eyes. His hair—so fine, so in place—it makes my fingers ache to mess it up. And a body—good Lord, that body—seems carved straight from stone.
Just looking at him makes me tremble in need. I thought I was bad before, but it has nothing on me now. Just the mere thought of him touching me how I want to touch him, nearly makes me breathless with lust and desire. My mind clouds with images of the two of us tangled together, limbs wrapped around limbs, and leaves me wanting more.
It’s been too long. Much too long since I had my last little taste of sexual pleasure, and that all will end soon, or I will burst at the seams. I am already teetering on the edge as it is.
Pulling open my locker, I cast my eyes down the hall, hoping to see him. This morning I got a glimpse of him, but it did nothing to quench the hunger radiating inside me.
Ever since that night, Ellis, apart from Asher, has been the only thing on my mind. Thoughts of how he is in bed muddling my thoughts until I’m nothing more than a walking, talking ball of frustration.
Am I boy crazy? Honey, I’m the manifestation of it. I’m literally two seconds away from leaping on him like a bitch in heat.
The memories, they’re almost starting to become unbearable. Nights spent waking up in cold sweats as I try to push that night from my mind are becoming too frequent. No matter how many times I got myself off since that fucked up night, it hasn’t made a dent. If anything, it’s only gotten hotter, more unhinged.
“Are you staring? Again?”
Karma comes to a stop by my side, peering in the direction I am. She knows what’s been going on, since I told her about everything just as soon as the guys went home that night. Just like me, it surprised her they had enough balls to show up at my house. However, unlike me, she thinks nothing will come from what Ellis did, of the small glimpse of humanity I saw in his eyes.
Oh, but I do. I’ll make sure of that. If I can’t touch anyone except one of the four of them, then I’ve made my first choice. And it will happen tonight, because I can’t wait any longer. I need the push and pull of two sexually deprived bodies. I need this like I need air, so I can forget.
Forget all the fucked up happenings inside my mind.
It may make me a bitch to use Ellis like this, but I have no fucking choice. Callum has the reins so tight on the guys in this school that none of them will touch me.
I need to get Ellis so worked up there is little choice in the matter. His body will take over, allowing it to decide for him. I just need to think of a way to make him want me. To become so needy, he has to have me or he’ll absolutely die from the lust pumping through his veins.
I won’t beg, plead, or debase myself, but I can make him hotter than a bonfire until he cracks under the pressure.
“Ellis,” is the only thing I whisper.
As if he knows I’m thinking of him, his mesmerizing eyes rise to meet mine. Even from all the way down the hall, I can see them darken with arousal as his look scours my body in one movement. I can feel the lick of his gaze as it treks over every inch of skin, almost like a soft, sensual caress.
But before we can do anything about it, a playfully hard shove has him breaking our connection. It doesn’t take a genius to know who it is, either. That fucking guy frustrates me to no end. I don’t know whether I want to fuck him or strangle him—maybe do both at the same time.
My eyes connect with Callum’s next. He shoots a half smirk my direction, almost taunting me, before dismissing me altogether as he returns to his conversation. My body prickles with barely tempered frustration, and I’m two seconds from tossing my sanity to the wind and going over there.
Until, out of nowhere, four sets of arms wrap around the guys from behind. I actually catch myself taking a step toward them but stop before I can embarrass myself.
Alessandra Lennox, Bree St. Clair, Brittani Lovell, and Gia Darling—the four members of the queen bee squad.
Just seeing Gia’s arms wrapped around Ellis from behind has a wave of jealousy flashing through me. She doesn’t deserve him; none of them deserve those guys. The only thing they offer is a boost in social status, and maybe
(probably not) their pussies are gold or some shit.
Ew, now I have the visual in my mind. Disgusting. Nausea bubbles in my gut, the bile rising to the base of my throat, choking me. It takes everything I have to swallow it down. Gulp down the unfamiliar feelings as I stand here like some creeper staring at the four of them.
Their public displays sometimes get downright raunchy, even for someone like me. But no one says a word to them. If a teacher walks by while Callum is feeling up Alessandra, they look the other way. Hell, just last week, he had his hand up her skirt right here in the middle of the hallway. I can remember the way she thrashed around in his arms, moaning like some wanton slut for more.
And they call me the whore? The slut? The tramp?
Yeah, at least I do my shit behind closed doors. I don’t allow it to happen in front of the entire school.
The only reason no one calls them out on it is because of who they are. They’re rich, powerful. They can practically get away with murder if they wanted to.
And as much as I try to convince myself it doesn’t sting, I can’t help the hurt I feel by seeing them all together with the queen bees. Callum, especially. Yes, what he did to me was wrong. But it looks like no matter how pissed off you are at someone, feelings of love never vanish.
No matter how much I want to dispute that claim, I loved Callum. Everything about him, actually. So, even though he’s my biggest tormentor, it still hurts to see him act so carelessly in front of me.
I know, pot calling kettle black. But fuck it. I own my hypocrisy. Every single bit of it.
“Looks to me like you won’t be getting close to him anytime soon,” Karma surmises, tugging on the side of my shirt by my hip. “Maybe you should just forget about him.”
There’s no way that will happen. Besides the little decree Callum spread around school, Ellis is already in my sights. He showed me an ounce of attention, of understanding, when the Callum and Quinn showed me nothing but disdain. I’m not turning my back on that. As much as it stings my ego, I’ll take whatever goddamn breadcrumbs I can get and run with them.
Plus, I’m intrigued. Ellis is always so quiet, subdued. Even during school, he doesn’t speak unless he has something important to say. It would put you in the mind of a military brat, even though it’s merely his actions that clue me in.
“He’s mine, Karm,” I finally say, tilting my face toward hers. “If they want to play hardball, then they better have a pair to back it up. They started this, not me.”
“Started what?”
“I can only touch a member of their little pack, right?” It’s an idiotic claim, but whatever. As long as I get mine, I don’t give a fuck. I’m way past caring at this point.
“Playing with fire, girl,” she replies, smirking.
Licking my top lip, my eyes meet hers as I release a devastating smile. “That’s the best game to play.”
Davis arrives at that moment, wrapping his arms around Karma’s midsection, all the while, keeping his gaze trained on me. “Sup, babe?”
“Always so handsy,” my best friend replies, giggling.
“I’ll catch y’all later.” I slam my locker door closed, forming a plan in my head. But before I can make it two steps, Karma’s voice has me halting in my tracks.
“You going to the party tonight?” What party? We’ve been in school for almost a month and I have yet to hear about someone having a party.
“Who’s throwing it?”
At the tone of my voice, Karma stops fussing around with Davis, tilting her head in confusion. It must a well-known person in the school if she’s looking at me like that.
“You haven’t heard?”
“That’s how they wanted it,” Davis sighs, causing my brows to turn in. “Probably why we didn’t see her at Tannenbay’s party last weekend, nor Lovell’s the weekend before.”
Since the school year started back, the only party I went to was the bonfire. Every time I try to get a little information about some party, all my resources tell me the same thing. There’s nothing to report. The bonfire was before school started, and trust me, I’ve kept my ear to the ground just waiting for the chance to unleash some of this pent-up frustration.
My gaze zeros in on Karma. “Is that why you avoided me the last couple of Saturdays?”
Her lips pucker, eyes flashing with guilt. “Um, I … Davis and I were together both nights.”
Figures. “May I ask where?”
Her gaze skirts the floor at her feet, and she hesitantly replies, “We were partying.”
I can’t exactly express the amount of hurt swarming me. It’s almost crippling. Shooting a gaze toward Davis then her, I see the guilty flush spread over her cheeks. Davis, unlike her, is staring at me with a straight face, as if trying to calculate my reaction at hearing them doing things without me.
The thing is—Karma and I have always been party buddies, even when we’ve been messing around with guys in the past. What makes this time so different? I know she’s practically fallen into a hole of lust and confusion for anything Davis related, but still. She’s the only friend I have, and she knows that.
“You went to parties without me?”
“It’s no big deal,” she says, and to anyone else it wouldn’t be. But to me? It’s everything. No one knows the shit I truly went through that night. When I tried to tell the person who meant the most to me, he disregarded me. And when I did finally gather my memories enough, his trail had long since gone cold.
Forcing myself to appear unfazed, I give her a smile. “You’re right. It’s no big deal.” Even though it is. It’s a major one. Except, I’m not the kind of bitch that rains on people’s parades.
“We good?” she asks, worrying her lip, but before I can reply, Davis beats me to it.
“Jess isn’t the type to get caught up in feelings. You’re good, babe.” And again, he never takes his eyes from me, as if he’s challenging me to say, otherwise. Or he’s … No, that’s not it.
Giving her another smile, I tighten my grip on my books and leave her in Davis’ company, tossing a goodbye over my shoulder as I do.
Honestly, it breaks my heart she ditched me and hang with Davis. Is it the end of the world? No. But that doesn’t make it hurt any less. It looks like this is my new life, and I need to get acquainted with it.
For the past two years, it’s been me and Karma. You can’t find her without me, and vice versa. But since the beginning of the school year, even I can feel that things have shifted in our dynamic. We’re no long Jess and Karm. Now, when you hear anything related to her, it’s Karm and Davis. Like two peas in a pod.
Tears burn against the back of my eyelids, but I refuse to allow them to fall. All I need is for someone to see that, then I know for sure they will tell Callum. All I need is something else they can use against me in their quest of making my life a living hell. I’d have to be stupid to give them another piece of ammunition.
“Well, well, well.” Only I would be fool enough to speak too soon.
“What do you want, Lockridge?” I sidle up to the locked door of our next class, the one I share with all four of them. I really wish the teacher would show up on time. Damn. It’s not like it’s hard.
“Oh, nothing,” he replies with an air of aloofness that drives me insane. There’s nothing calm or subdued about this prick.
“Spit it out.”
“Well,” he taunts, then raises his voice, so it echoes around the hallway. “That’s not what you were begging to do last night? What was his name? I can’t remember. He looked old enough to be your father that’s for sure.”
A flurry of whispers quickly assault my ears. My cheeks burn over Callum’s insinuation. He knows better than I do that I have not been with anyone since he’s been back. Tried a couple times, but didn’t get anywhere. Little fucker is trailing on thin ice here.
Sucking down a mouthful of air, I allow my gaze to trek over the crowd. I see a majority of them standing close by; some even shuffling closer to get
a better front-row seat. Couples have their heads bent together as if they’re sharing secrets. Catty girls are laughing behind their hands, while the guys are whooping and going wild in their excitement.
Except, it doesn’t bother me in the least. It’s not the first time I’ve caught a fraction of the kids in this school talking about me over something I did or supposedly did. It sure as fuck won’t be the last if Callum has anything to say for it. I just don’t get why he always has to be such a dick.
So, instead of pretending he’s getting to me—because he is, oh, how he is—I decide a little retaliation is in order. “No, he wasn’t my father, Callum. It was yours.”
This time the hallway explodes in gasps of horror and excitement. I smile triumphantly, keeping my eyes trained on Callum’s. I see his narrow in anger; spy his fists clenching by his sides. Good. Just from his reaction, that lie will spread all around Silver Creek before lunch. Hopefully, it will make his life at home a living Hell tonight.
With the precision of a viper, Callum strikes. He’s on me before I can do anything about it, shoving me forcefully against the wall so hard it causes the breath to explode from my mouth. Placing his hands on either side of my head, he leans his face so close to mine I can feel the heat of his cinnamon scented breath ghost along my lips.
“You think you’re funny, huh?” he growls, stepping so close the front of our bodies come in contact with one another. I can’t stop the full body shudder that wracks my frame, even though I hate myself for it. “I will break you.”
Apparently, I don’t notice the warning in his tone or the venom in his eyes. Or maybe, I just ignore it, because the words are out of my mouth before I can stop them, “Break me, baby. I dare you.”
Challenge. Set. Match.
CHAPTER 16
I should not be here.
Nope.
Something tells me I should go home, lick my proverbial wounds from earlier, and stay out of this fucked up mess. But if I did that, I’d have to go up against Debra again, and there’s no way I’m doing that without alcohol in my system. There is only so much of her I can take without getting blitzed out of my mind.
Break Me, Baby: A Reverse Harem High School Bully Romance (Silver Creek High Book 1) Page 12
