“It’s a fifteen-minute drive; it can’t be that bad.” My car was officially dead. I tried to start it, in hopes that maybe the car gods would be shining down on me, but no such luck. I was walking to work today for my first shift at Benny’s, and it was hotter than hell outside. I grabbed my tennis shoes by the door, and sat on the couch to tie them. I was wearing a pair of cut off jean shorts and a black Harley tank. I only hoped I didn’t sweat through it while I walked. I was giving myself an hour and a half for the walk. I prayed it didn’t take longer than that. I finished tying the dirty white shoelace, stood up, and then kissed Talon on her forehead. “Be safe. I gotta go.”
I began the long walk, thankful that my ribs were feeling much better today. The air was humid, and I quickly found myself adjusting my ponytail into a knot on the top of my head to keep the heat off. I was probably about two miles into my walk when I heard motorcycle pipes. I cringed fearing that it was Drake. I saw a Devil’s Crusaders Motorcycle Club patch and recalled that it was the same patch Mickey wore. It wasn’t Mickey. This man, with bleach blonde hair and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, zoomed past me giving a small nod of his head.
I came to a part of the road that winds, and without any sidewalks, I tried to stay off of it as much as possible, but it wasn’t easy. Large trees with an early splash of fall color were on each side of the road. There was a richness to the soil that permeated the air. A patch of purple wildflowers blocked me from walking on the side any longer, and I was forced to walk on the road. A rumble in the distance let me know there were, of course, more bikes coming. I continued to walk, increasing my pace. The bikes made me nervous, even though I’d spent the majority of my life on the back of one.
I looked behind me, watching as the bikes got even closer. The blonde-haired man from before slowed and right behind him was Mickey. Mickey with his stupid, beautiful flecks of silver at his temples pulled over a few feet in front of me, and the blonde followed suit, pulling over fifteen feet in front of him.
“Marie,” he said my name over the hum of his bike. “Where are you walking to on these roads? Ye know dere’s no sidewalks, right?”
“Hey, Mickey. Car problems, remember?”
“I remember I gave ye my card, and told ye I’d have it towed.”
I was hot and irritated, and didn’t understand how I kept running into this man, stupid silver temples and all. I shook my head. “I appreciate that, but a little low on funds until I get settled. Don’t worry! God gave me two feet for a reason.”
“And where are those two feet taking ye?” I let out a frustrated sigh. It wasn’t Mickey's business. I didn’t understand why he was making it his, but I couldn’t stand around talking I needed to get to work. I couldn’t be late on my first day.
“I’m working at Benny’s.”
“Dere, dat wasn’t so hard. Hop on. I’ll give you a lift.”
I shook my head. There was no way I was getting on his bike.
“It’s six miles from here, and ye already walked three.”
Shit, shit, shit.
“Come on,” he tilted his head to the back of the bike. I relented, knowing I needed this job, and I’d never get there on time. I could see by the way he was watching me that he knew I was going to go with him. I easily swung a leg over and slid on behind him. He reached to his right to put out the back foot peg, and I quickly did the one on the left. I jolted at the contact of his hand on mine as he slid it around his waist. “Hold on,” he said pulling onto the road.
The blonde man pulled beside us, and we drove towards town. I pressed against Mickey, holding on tightly as we rode down more winding roads. Mickey smelled good, clean: a mix of soap and a manly deodorant. He was so different than Drake. I always felt tiny behind Drake on his bike. Drake was so huge I could never see myself in the rearview mirror like I could right now, and one thing I noticed is how hollow my eyes still looked. Drake took the life from my eyes. I used to think that my eyes were my best asset, but now they were a dull reminder that I used to be someone. Mickey, on the other hand, was smiling. He had these dimples I hadn’t noticed before. His eyes were hidden behind his glasses, but I wondered if he saw the lost look in my eyes.
My mind briefly drifted to how enraged Drake would be if he found me on another man’s bike. It made me feel defiant, and that made me feel good. It would’ve driven him insane. We moved around another bend in the road, and I grabbed onto Mickey tighter than before, feeling emboldened by the subtle, silent FU to Drake even if I was the only one who heard it. All too soon, Mickey was backing up his bike into a spot. I quickly hopped off.
“Thanks for the ride.”
“Ye’ve ridden before.” It was a statement, not a question.
“Yeah,” I answered not elaborating.
“Don’t walk home from here. Ye need a ride, call me. I’ll get ye.”
No, that wasn’t happening. I needed to stop all of this, whatever the hell this was.
“I’ll figure it out. Thanks for the ride, but listen, I don't know if you’re interested in me or something, but I’m not that woman for you. So it’s nice and all, you helping me yesterday and giving me a ride today, but this, whatever this is, has got to stop.” I hoped I was not making a presumptuous ass out of myself.
“Marie,” his voice was soft, soft in a way I didn’t think I’d ever heard from any biker before, especially not Drake’s. Why was I even comparing him to Drake? What was wrong with me? “I can tell ye been through something. Sometimes it’s okay to accept help. I don't want anything from ye. I know just by that look in yer eyes that ye’d not be ready. I have a daughter. She’s older than yours. Married. If she ever had that lost look ye have, I’d kill a thousand men to make it go away. I don’t know yer story, but I know myself. I’m the type of man that if he sees a woman needs help, he doesn’t walk away. If a man’s any type of man, he helps. Dis isn't me trying to feck ye. Dis is me doing right by ye.”
Resigned and not sure what to make of Mickey, I reached out my hand to shake his, “Thank you for the ride Mickey.” His grasp was firm and steady on mine. It somehow felt so incredibly right, which scared the bejesus out of me. He stared down into my eyes for a beat, and I felt this intensity that rocked me to my core.
“Give me yer keys, Marie.” I shook my head breaking me out of the Mickey induced trance.
“Keys?”
“To yer car. Ye need to work and get settled, get that daughter of yers off to school, ye need a car. Let me help ye.”
Accepting him for his word and letting him help me felt like a challenge. It felt like something he was daring me to do. It was scary as hell, but also necessary. I reached into my bag and handed him the keys. Challenge accepted.
MY SHIFT WAS EASY. Jack was funny. He made me laugh when I wasn’t expecting it. He had this carefree way about him making everyone feel welcome. The people in Wakeman seemed nice. It didn’t feel like a town that was plagued with biker problems. Unlike the bars I’d worked in before, this place seemed to feel friendlier somehow. It took no time for Jack to see that I’d spent the majority of my life tending bar.
Since it was the afternoon and we were slower than the dinner hour, he had me serve tables as well. There was one other server working, whose name was Evelyn. She was on the quiet side, but I gathered that she was in her early twenties and attending the local community college. She had chestnut hair pulled in a low ponytail at the base of her neck and was wearing a Benny’s T-shirt that was fitted but not in an inappropriate way. Jack handed me one when I walked in, which I was grateful for because my tank had clung to me from the heat.
“How're the tips?” I asked Evelyn, when Jack was in the kitchen.
“It’s decent. Weekends are the best. I can walk out of here with a few hundred bucks if a good band is playing.” I so needed to get in on that! I was finishing filling the salt and pepper shakers on the tables when Mickey walked in.
“Oh, my gosh. He’s so hot,” Evelyn whispered.
“He
’s old enough to be your dad.”
“Oh, I know it. Maura was just a few grades ahead of me in school, and all of us girls used to go nuts with how good looking her dad is.”
“Did he ever date any of you?” I asked, not even sure why I was curious to know if he dated women her age.
“Oh, goodness no. I wish.” She laughed and maybe my earlier assessment of her was wrong. Perhaps she wasn't quite as quiet as I thought.
“Hey, Marie,” Mickey’s smooth voice called out as he approached.
Evelyn’s eyes got wide, “You know him?” she mouthed, but didn’t let out a sound as she fanned herself and walked away.
“Had to order a part, so she won’t be fixed until tomorrow. Ye about finished?”
“Almost. About earlier...” I wanted to apologize to Mickey. The more I thought about how I jumped down his back, the worse I felt. He was being a good guy. Just because Drake was who he was, didn’t mean I needed to bite the head off of every nice man out there.
“No, need,” he cut me off then took a seat at the bar. Jack greeted him and set a Guinness down in front of him. Mickey took a sip, his eyes still trained on me while he spoke with Jack. I moved to another table clearing away the remaining dishes and brought them to the back where I found Evelyn rolling the remaining silverware.
“You didn’t tell me you knew him. Oh, my.” Evelyn fanned herself dramatically.
Yeah, I definitely had her pegged wrong. “He lives by me, and is being a good neighbor, that’s all.” She made a humph noise and gave me a sideways look like she didn’t believe me. I heard her mutter under her breath that she needed neighbors like that, before leaving the kitchen. I set the dishes down and took off my apron.
“Hey Jack looks like I’m almost finished, unless there’s something else you need?”
“We’re all set, honey. See you tomorrow?”
“You betcha.”
Mickey took his pint glass and finished the half of it that was remaining, then threw a bill down on the bar top for Jack.
“Ye ready?” he asked. I reached over the bar to grab my purse not paying attention to the fact that I had shorts on or that when I did it my shirt had the potential to ride up, which was precisely what it did. It moved just enough that my bruises on my side showed. I snatched my purse and adjusted it quickly, looking at Jack and Mickey. Mickey was grinding his jaw and flaring his nostrils. He looked angry.
“Marie,” he said in a tone that sounded almost deadly.
“Leave it alone,” Jack cautioned Mickey.
“You ready?” I asked, wanting to get out of here and pretend that they hadn’t seen.
I watched Mickey’s Adam's apple as bob as he swallowed his anger. “Let’s go,” he clipped. I followed him outside, and the warm breeze moved a strand of my red hair into my face. I’ve been on enough bikes to know the damage wind could do to loose strands, so I pulled all of my hair free and quickly braided it.
Mickey watched me. “So, he’s a biker.”
I was shocked that Mickey picked up on this, I was also a little nervous. What if he knew him? I mean, it’s a great big world and all, and we were far from home, but what if?
“How do you know?” my voice shook.
“Ye ride on the back of a bike like ye always been there. Ye grabbed de foot peg without any hesitation, and ye know what the road can do to those pretty red locks of yers.”
“Stop.” I put my hand up feeling way too exposed in front of Mickey.
Mickey didn’t stop, “He’s a ballless feck. Dinks he’s a man ‘cause he’s got two wheels between his legs and puts his hands on ye proves he’s got no balls. Been doing it for a while too based on the scared look ye carry around wit ye. Any man who thinks he can lay a hand on a woman, especially one as pretty as ye, ballless.” Mickey sneered shaking his head in disgust. I felt confused, and I didn’t like it.
I swallowed the lump in my throat, “Can we go?”
“What’s his name?” he asked ignoring my plea to leave. I shook my head.
“No, not doing this, Mickey.” I turned away from his bike and began to walk away. He wanted to question me? Whatever, I didn't need to answer him. I didn’t owe him anything. I didn’t even know him.
“Marie, stop.” Mickey’s hand touched my elbow, and I flinched. He put his hands up like I was a scared animal fleeing for safety. It made me mad. How did I let Drake turn me into someone who was afraid of her own shadow?
“I don’t know you, Mickey.”
“Get to know me.”
“Find another cause to take up.”
“Yer not a cause. Yer a woman, a damn feisty one at that.” He said woman like it was important. Like it meant something to him. “Get on. No more talk for today,” Mickey gentled his voice, and for some reason, I listened.
Chapter Nine
Marie
“What are you doing with him?” Talon grilled as soon as I entered the cabin.
“He gave me a ride home, nothing more. It's nine miles to town. He was being helpful.”
“Don't you think it's a little soon for you to be on the back of another man's bike?”
No, I really didn't. The truth was, besides Drake taking from me whenever he wanted, we hadn't had a real relationship in a long time, so no I didn't feel guilty.
“You're reading too much into it. And do you know what, Talon? I really don't have to answer to you about this.” I sighed, she didn't deserve my irritation. “I'm sorry. Listen, I'm still sore, and I walked a bunch of miles on the way into work before Mickey saw me and offered me a ride and I worked on top of that. I'm just tired. Forgive me for snapping, okay?”
I plopped down on the couch and took my shoes off. I was tired. I curled my legs up to my chest and looked around, noticing that Talon set up a television and VCR on a small table.
“You did that?” I asked.
“Sue stopped by with a bunch of movies, but I have no idea how to make them work. I've never seen movies like that before.” She grabbed the box of VHS tapes and sat next to me.
I smiled wide. “E.T.! I love this movie.”
I got up and fiddled with the wires in the back of the VCR then sat down next to my daughter and watched the movie. Talon laughed about the quality of the film, and I laughed that she’d never seen a movie like this before. The movie ended, and I noticed Talon crying. “What is it, honey?”
“It’s nothing. It’s stupid.” She wiped away her tears and stood up to go into her room.
“Something has you upset. What is it? Don’t shut me out,” I pleaded with my daughter. She looked torn like she wasn’t sure what she wanted to say.
“I just miss my friends. I get it; why we're here. I never want to see you hurt again, but it’s hard.”
That took a lot for her to say. I stood and wrapped my arms around her. “I love you, honey. We’ll get through this. Why don’t you get ready for bed? New school tomorrow.”
“Alright, Mom.” She gave me a sad look, and I realized she was now taller than me. At five-three, I’d always thought she’d outgrow me, especially since her dad was so tall.
I placed my fingers under her chin, “Chin up, baby. It’ll get easier.”
She nodded her head, “I’m going to shower.”
I watched her walk away from me and prayed that she would get through this. I’d been scarred from my own upbringing. I never wanted this for Talon, but maybe she could see how hard I was fighting to make things right for her, for the both of us.
I walked outside and sat on the little porch. The air cooled down some, and it felt like the Indian summer might finally start coming to an end. We weren’t directly on the lake, more like across the street with several cottages blocking us from seeing the entire thing, but even in the early evening, it looked beautiful.
I wanted to stare at the beauty unimpended by the small cottages across the street. I thought about the boat slip I passed yesterday and decided that was precisely where I needed to go to clear my head. After letting Tal
on know I was going for a walk, I walked the short three minutes to the boat slip.
Up close, I could tell that it was newer, with the wood appearing more of an artificial material meant to withstand the weather. This close the lake looked more clear than green, and I realized that the unique green color was more of a reflection than anything. I sat on the edge and dangled my feet into the cool water.
The sky was growing darker by the second and the blue sky was suddenly tinged with pinks and hues of orange and red. It gave me peace, making me feel as if the world held a beauty I’d yet to discover. With everything I'd been through, I was angry with the world, but maybe I needed to start embracing this new place and hoping that there truly was beauty out there.
I AWOKE FORGETTING that I had no car and thinking about how badly it would suck for Talon and me to have to walk miles upon miles into school. The sun was barely up when I heard a knock at my door. Anyone coming here scared the bejesus out of me, and I had to remind myself that if it were Drake, he wouldn't knock.
Moving to the door, I peeked out of the window to see who was there. Mickey stood there with a carefree expression on his face. I wasn’t quite sure what to do about his interest in us, but I couldn't deny that we needed help and his aversion to violence against women soothed some of my worries. Not all of them of course, as I’d never in my wildest dreams thought Drake would hurt me.
I opened the door and sucked in the smallest intake of breath. Mickey smelled good, and I mean incredibly good. I had no idea what that scent was, but it surely was worn to seduce a woman. He was freshly showered. His hair was slightly wet, and I could tell he’d just trimmed his facial hair.
“Mornin’,” he greeted.
“Mickey?” I responded stepping outside on the porch not wanting to wake up Talon yet.
“Ye need to get her off to school?”
“I’ll be waking her soon.”
“Here,” he stretched his hand dangling keys in the air.
“Take my car until I have yers ready.”
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