Stronger Than This

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Stronger Than This Page 10

by Abby Mccarthy


  I took my eyes from Mickey, and poured a round of shots, grabbed a handful of beers from the cooler, set it down in front of a customer and collected money. When I looked up again to see Mickey, he was swinging a beautiful brunette around in his arms and kissing her forehead. His entire demeanor changed, and I was instantly jealous. I couldn't understand why. He wasn't anything to me. I was married for Christ's sake. I had no right to feel this way, but I did.

  He put her down and slung an arm around her waist. Several men came over to her and hugged her. She was obviously well known. She was young and gorgeous. If I was honest, I was a little disappointed in Mickey that he would go for someone so young.

  “Hey, need a beer,” a guy yelled breaking me from my one-sided stare down. Mickey hadn’t even glanced my way tonight. I shouldn’t be worried about that, but I was. I poured four more draft beers for various customers. Each beer I poured, I slammed down with a little force.

  I had no right to feel anything for that man. So, what? He gave me a few rides and was incredibly caring and kind. Who cares? I splashed a little bit of a draft beer as I set it down. The customer harrumphed leaving a five on the bar top, then moved quickly away. I grabbed a Budweiser for the guy three stools down who had told me to keep ‘em coming, then turned back to the space the draft guy had been and gritted my teeth as Mickey and the beautiful woman stood there.

  “Marie,” Mickey greeted.

  The brunette spoke up, “Hi, can I have five shots? Wait, hold on...” She turned and hollered to a few guys behind her, “Jules, you want one?” Then she turned back to me, “Make that six shots of Jack, and two Buds.” She was excited and perky. What the fuck did Mickey see in this perky little young thing?

  “Jack!” The woman hollered and grabbed Jack, kissing him on the lips.

  He grinned, “Well with a greeting like that, this round's on me. Marie, I got this one.” I poured the shots and listened as Mickey made a toast that sounded straight-off-the-boat-Irish. It was melodic and sexy, and I couldn't help but squint my eyes at the brunette. She saw it, and her eyes danced like she knew something I didn't.

  Mickey set his shot glass down in front of me, and as I went to grab it, his hand brushed mine. “How are ye?” The nerve he had touching my hand while his woman was just a foot away.

  “Fine,” I bit out quickly then turned away from Mickey and got busy on the other side of the bar.

  I worked my ass off and did the best I could to ignore Mickey and my feelings of why I was jealous and stayed busy. I didn't see any faces I recognized, and I was good with faces. I was relieved when the men started to head out, and the bar began to empty. Mickey sat with the woman, who had kept his attention all night. I noticed Daws and Jules with them, along with the woman I saw Jules with the first day I met Mickey. I also saw Aubrey from the shop. They looked like a close group. It was weird. I was a little envious of them. As long as I’d been part of a club, I’d never felt that kind of camaraderie.

  Jack called last call while he sorted out tips and tallied sales totals. I heard Mickey’s woman grumble and Jules' woman laugh. Mickey stood, and I finally felt at ease. He was going to be leaving. I sighed, I’d made it through the night.

  Mickey didn't walk out the door like I was expecting of him. No, he approached me, “How’s the car? It’s holding up?”

  “It’s running great, thanks.” I didn't meet his eyes as I took apart the soda machine, soaking the nozzles.

  “Even so, we’ll wait for ye to leave and follow ye.” Great, now I felt like his charity case. “No, that’s okay. It’s not necessary.”

  “It’s late. We’re going to the same place. I insist.” I looked up meeting his eyes. I was so not amused.

  “Don’t you think she’ll mind?” I asked with a little bite.

  “No, love. Not at all.”

  I glared, calling me love while his woman was right there. Mickey was a player, and he didn't even hide it. I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was. I ignored Mickey and watched as his woman went to the jukebox and began searching through the selection.

  “How much longer ‘til yer done?” I shrugged. “Jack, how much longer ‘til Marie's off?”

  “Just finishing up. It’ll be about another fifteen minutes, if you’ll close out your tab.” Mickey opened his wallet and threw a bunch of bills on the bar in front of Jack.

  “Maura, we’re going in fifteen minutes. Yer on the back of my bike, we’ll get the Navigator tomorrow.” Something about that name Maura seemed familiar, like I’d heard it, but couldn't place it. I’d certainly never seen her before. Maura began dancing to Joan Jett’s, I Love Rock and Roll. Jules' woman got up and joined her. The women laughed and tried to get Aubrey to dance with them. She shook her head at them and instead decided to come and talk to me. “Hi, Marie. Busy night huh?”

  “Yes, we were slammed.” Evelyn walked past me with a broom, and I turned my attention from Aubrey to Evelyn. “You need a hand back there?” I asked.

  “No, I’m almost done. I swept a little while ago, so it’s not that bad.” Drats.

  “You don’t want to dance?” I motioned Aubrey to her friends who were dancing like no one was watching.

  “Nah, I’m not a huge dancer. Besides, I’m not drinking tonight. I’m working in the morning,” she explained.

  The song changed, and Warrant’s Cherry Pie came on. Maura and her friend began headbanging and doubling over laughing.

  “Well, I don’t blame you for not wanting to dance with those two,” I said, and it came off kind of snotty.

  Aubrey put her hand on top of mine. I wanted to pull back from her touch, but there was just something so innocent about her. “They're just having fun. Maura hasn't been here in a while. We’re all excited to see her. I wanted to check with you to make sure you still have my card.”

  Oh, yes. That. I nodded and said, “Thank you,” my tone softening. Before I knew it, I was letting my guard down and let out a huge yawn.

  “It's late. I’m exhausted too. Hey, honey?” she called to Daws who was close by watching the show Maura was putting on and smiling big. “Babe? Ready to take off?”

  The look on his face changed to a half lazy look like just her talking to him made him a little drunk, hell maybe it did. “Sure, honey.”

  “Night, Marie,” he said as he grabbed her hand and moved to the dancing women to say their goodbyes. The song changed again. This time, it was a rap song and I had no idea who sang it. Maura’s friend just laughed as she did the running man. Maura attempted to do The Kid 'n Play by hopping over a foot then fell on her ass and laughed some more.

  “Jesus, you’re lit!” Mickey shook his head. I hadn’t even realized he was by me again, watching the show just like I was. “Marie, I hate to do this to you, but I can't put her on my bike. She’s smashed. Can she ride with you?”

  Well, this was awkward, but how could I say no? Mickey had done so much for me, and so what if I was a little jealous? I had no right to be, and I had no right to judge.

  “Sure.” I gave one more glance at the two young women laughing their asses off on the floor and thought they couldn't be that bad. They at least knew how to have a good time, and could give a fuck who was watching.

  I finished up, and a few minutes later Mickey was helping Maura into my little Camry. Once she was buckled and Mickey was getting his bike to follow us, I looked at Maura; she really was pretty. “So, you and Mickey. You've known him a long time?”

  She smiled an all-knowing smile, which seemed weird. “I’ve known him for forever.”

  “He’s a good guy.” I offered up, making conversation.

  “Oh, he’s the best. He’s so attentive. He used to play dress up with me. And he bought me the cutest baby doll dresses, and you should’ve seen how handsome he was at the wedding.” I was going to be ill. Mickey had some sick thing for girls, and he was married to this one. My judge of character was way off.

  “Are you okay, Marie? I mean, you totally have my blessing if
you want to date him. Not that you need my blessing or anything, he always does whatever he wants to do anyway. I’m just going to crash when we get back, so you’re welcome to hang out if you want. Seriously, I don’t mind.”

  This was so fucked up. His young wife, he liked to dress up—offering me her husband and giving me her blessing. I mean, what-the-actual-fuck? I couldn't believe I was envious of their closeness. We turned down the road to the cottages, and I couldn't have been happier to see the Welcome to Lake Green sign. I couldn't take it any longer, not another minute. I looked at her and felt sorry for her. No wonder she was three sheets to the wind.

  As I neared her cottage, I began, “Honey, you’re a pretty woman, and you deserve so much more. Trust me, I know. I had a husband that would flaunt women around. But I can't be one of those. And the dressing you up. That’s disgusting. I don't know what you think is normal, but being with a man who’s old enough to be your daddy and letting him dress you up; that ain't right. Maybe you should talk to your friend, Audrey. I’m sure she can help you. This is just wrong, and I'm sorry. You might be okay with me being with your old man while you're sleeping off a buzz, but I am not okay with that. I got a daughter at home. I can't believe he’d think I’d be okay with this.”

  She wasn't getting out of the car. We were parked, and she was sitting there staring wide-eyed at me with her jaw hanging open. I reached over her and opened the door beyond annoyed. “You can get out now.”

  Then she began laughing at me, full-blown hysterical laughing. She’d start to talk, “Wait, you think...” followed by more laughing; there might’ve even been tears. “Oh, my God! This is priceless!”

  I couldn't take it any longer. I got out of the car and yelled at Mickey who was dumbfounded looking at Maura. “Get her out of my car. I’m so done. Like, beyond done.”

  “Seriously, Marie? I know she can be a wee bit of a handful, but she’s a good lass.”

  “You’re sick.” I seethed. His face no longer appearing like the happy-go-lucky Mickey, I was used to. It became harder.

  “Now, hold on just a minute. What the feck did ye mean by dat?” Mickey’s voice was thick with his Irish brogue. I pointed my finger at him and poked him in the chest. I wasn't even sure where this hostility came from, but I was pissed.

  Maura could tell by our heated voices that things were escalating. She got out of the car and tried to get between us, putting her hands up. “Whoa, whoa. Slow your roll.”

  I couldn't believe this woman. She was so brainwashed. And who says “slow your roll”? I glared at the two of them. “Dad, Marie here is somehow under the impression that I’m your woman, not your daughter.”

  “His what?” I said astoundingly.

  “My what?” Mickey said at the same time.

  “I’ll let you two figure this one out,” Maura excused herself and moved into their cabin.

  “She’s your daughter?”

  “Aye,” he looked at me bewildered. “Ye thought she was my...”

  I cut him off, “I thought she was your old lady.” I felt stupid and embarrassed. I turned away from him and moved to get back into the car. Mickey was suddenly behind me. Close. So close, I could feel his warm breath on my neck.

  “I don’t have an old lady. Haven’t really ever had one. Never met someone I’d really want to explore dat with until recently, dat is.”

  Tingles raced over my skin. I felt turned on by his nearness. I hadn’t been turned on in a long time. It was unsettling. I felt the need to run because if I didn't run, I might do something worse. Stay.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Mickey

  I gripped her hips, bringing her back flush to my chest. She was pissed at the idea of me being with a woman, and as absurd as it was because Maura is my daughter, who was grown and married; I fecking loved that Marie was upset. Maybe I’d been getting in there more than I realized.

  There was something about Marie. Something different from all the other women. She looked younger than she was, but that wasn't it. It was the depth in her green eyes. It was the way she carried the weight of the world and did it with class. It was this strength. I wanted her like no other, but I knew if I moved too fast, she’d run and she’d run fast.

  “Walk with me,” I demanded not taking my hands from her waist.

  She shook her head. I could smell berries from her shampoo. “I need to check on Talon. It’s my first night working late, and I know she’s a teenager and can be left alone, but I worry.”

  I reluctantly released her. “Go, check on her, and I’ll walk over. We can talk.” She quickly moved away from me, as if checking on Talon was her out. I did not doubt that she was going to try to avoid walking with me.

  I didn't even wait for her to drive away before I began walking to her cottage and I knew a shortcut. I was sitting on her steps by the time she pulled up. She looked bewildered as she exited her car.

  “Oh, um. I’ll be right back.” She looked unsure as she walked past me. She took out a key to open the door and was shocked when it opened without her putting the key in. I watched her body stiffen, and was beside her in a flash. “What is it?”

  “It’s probably nothing, but I told her to lock the door. She probably just forgot.”

  She was scared. The tremble in her hand that made me acutely aware that she was hiding from someone. I mean, you don’t come to the foothills of Pennsylvania without knowing a soul, and with no job just to relocate. You just don’t, that is unless you’re hiding; and she was definitely hiding, and I knew it was from a man who put his hand to her.

  I put my hand on top of hers to stop her from entering and pulled out a small handgun I always had on me. Her eyes widened for a second, “Really, that won’t be necessary.”

  I placed my finger over her lips to silence her. If there was someone inside, she was alerting them to our presence. With my gun gripped in my right hand and Marie’s hand gripped in my left, we entered the cottage. It wasn't a big place. Living room and kitchen were clear. Bathroom, check. I moved into Marie’s bedroom noting that she had a twin sized bed and the smaller of the two rooms. Her bedroom checked out fine as well. We moved to Talon’s room. Marie’s hand gripped mine even tighter, and I could sense the fear rolling off of her. I slowly opened her door and spotted Talon asleep in the middle of a queen-sized bed. I did a quick, yet quiet search of the room and made sure that the windows were locked, then I led Marie out of her daughter’s room closing the door behind us.

  We moved to the porch, and I was grateful that it was warm enough out here. I sucked in a breath and held onto Marie’s hand taking a seat on the top stair. She wasn't going to like everything that was about to come out of my mouth, but enough was enough. It needed to be said. “I need to say some things, and I need you to listen. Don't talk. Hear me out.”

  “But,” she began to say, and for the second time in a few minutes, I found myself putting my finger over her soft pink lips that I desperately wanted to suck on, but not yet.

  “Shh. No talking. I think ye get that I’m interested in ye. I think ye see that I’ve been making that pretty clear; and based on yer reaction to thinking I had an old lady, I think you might be a little interested in me too.”

  Her face turned a shade of pink that even in the moonlight, I could see as it covered her cheeks. She opened her mouth to say something again, and I shot her a look that made her snap it shut.

  “I know yer hiding from someone. I reckon it’s Talon’s dad. I also figure he rides and isn't on the right side of the law, seeing as ye didn't flinch when I pulled out a gun. Most lasses, they have questions about a motorcycle club. Either dat or they have stars in their eyes because of Sons. Not ye. Ye look at me like ye been around it. Like ye understand it. I’m the Sergeant -at -Arms for my club, and I’m guessing I don't even have to explain to ye what dat means. I’m guessing by the hardness behind ye eyes, dat ye old man, dats put his hands to ye more than once, is part of a club. I want to know who he is. I want to know what we�
�re up against. I want to have my eyes open as to who I need to protect ye from. Tell me, so I don't have to look and find out on my own.” I stopped talking and gave her the opportunity to reply. “Now, ye can talk.”

  “No.”

  “Pardon?”

  “No, to all of it. No to me liking you. No to me knowing anything about bikers. No to me talking to you about why I’m here. You’re a nice guy, but no. It’s not your business.”

  I squeezed her hand. This time not in comfort but frustration. “I’m no nice guy. I’m helping you because I want something out of it, not because I’m a nice fecking guy.

  “Oh yeah. Mickey? And what is it that you want?” she asked with steel in her voice. I admired her courage. She was a woman who’d been beaten down, but any thoughts I’d had earlier of her being broken were obliterated. She was a lioness. So, I did what I wanted because her bravado told me to.

  “I want ye.” I simply said and did what I’d been thinking about since the moment I set eyes on her. I kissed her. It was hard and punishing, and she resisted until she didn’t.

  Slowly, she relaxed under my touch and she kissed me back with so much fervor. My hand still held hers while my other hand gripped her hip and pushed her back towards the porch rail. Her hands were on me. One in my hair, the other running along the ridges on my back. I broke my lips from hers and kissed her along her neck.

  “I should feck ye right here. Ye make me so crazed with need.”

  She moaned. I grabbed her thigh and lifted her tiny frame onto my lap so that she was straddling me. She let out a surprised gasp. I was hard as a fucking rock, and I knew she could feel how big I was. She ground against me. We were clothed, but I could feel the heat from her. I couldn't wait to be buried inside of her. Jesus, just the thought of her milky white skin pressed against my own.

  The cottage front door swung open. “Mom?” her daughter sleepily said, but there was an undertone filled with unsaid accusations. Marie skittered off of my lap. “Fuck,” she hissed and went inside after Talon. I heard arguing from inside. A minute later, Marie came back out, “You should go.”

 

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