Stronger Than This

by Abby Mccarthy

  “Do they do everything above board? I don't know. I don't ask, but other than the thing with my ex, violence hasn't touched me because of them. Those men – they’re my family. Maura and Aubrey are my sisters. I wouldn’t trade my life with them for anything.”

  I felt strangely connected to her. “Everything you just said, I understand more than you know.” I shared, twirling my hair nervously around my finger. I didn't get the chance to elaborate any more on that as the front door opened and Talon walked in.

  Talon instantly took to Serenity. I watched as Jenny’s shoulders relaxed. Maybe she needed a break more than she was willing to admit. Serenity was enamored, and I could see that it would be a fast friendship.

  I was sitting on the couch talking with Jenny and drinking a cup of coffee, and Talon was sitting on the floor laughing and playing with Serenity, when there was a knock at the door. Talon was laughing, and I couldn't help but smile at her. I couldn’t remember seeing her this carefree. As soon as she heard the knock, her smile faded.

  “What’s wrong? Who is it?” I asked Talon.

  She didn't answer, so I stood and answered the door. It was Zeke. He looked worried and a little disheveled. “Is Talon here?” he asked.

  “No, I’m not. Tell him I’m not.”

  “I can hear you, Tal. Come on, talk to me.” I felt bad for Zeke. He looked overwrought.

  “Have a seat on the porch. I’ll talk to her.” His shoulder sagged with relief as he slumped on the stairs.

  “I’m not talking to him, Mom. He can sit outside for all of eternity, for all I care.”

  Jenny, not wanting to intrude on Talon’s drama stood and swooped Serenity into her arms. “I think I’m going to go. I’ll let you guys work that out. Talon, this weekend you’ll come over, right?”

  Talon nodded her head, but was too angry to really respond.

  “Thanks for coming by. It was nice to meet you,” I said to Jenny.

  “I’ll see you soon,” she bent forward and kissed me on the cheek, shocking me. It was so natural for her. Once Jenny was out the door, I turned to Talon who began to move to her room and close the door.

  “Talk to me. What’s going on?”

  “I don't want to talk about it. Just tell him to go away.”

  “Did he hurt you?” She crossed her arms over her chest. It was clear that she wasn’t going to talk to me.

  I left her to stew in her room and went outside and sat on the front step next to Zeke. “What’s going on, Zeke?”

  He looked like he was freaked out. He ran his hand through his short hair and said, “I didn’t think she was into me. I thought she just wanted to be friends. Shit.” He paused and again ran his hand through his hair. “Talon saw me kissing Melissa. I’m not even that into her, ya know? It’s just she cornered me and wanted to make out, so of course, I said yes.”

  “Only Talon saw you,” I finished understanding how this story played out.

  “Yeah.” He looked dejected. “She won’t talk to me.”

  I put my hand on his shoulder, “Can you blame her?”

  “I know, I screwed up.”

  “Give her time. Don’t give up on her, keep trying. Remember, she wouldn’t be upset if she didn't care.”

  “Thanks,” he mumbled under his breath.

  I got up and went back inside leaving him to his thoughts. After checking on Talon, who still refused to talk, I went to check on Zeke, but he was gone.

  I BEGAN TO MAKE DINNER. I had a pork tenderloin in the oven and was chopping brussel sprouts for this fantastic side dish I made. I used olive oil and bacon, and it was always delicious, and one of the only vegetables I could get Talon to eat. Mickey was coming over for dinner. I wanted Talon to get used to him. I wanted her to see what a healthy relationship looked like and I wanted her to know how a man should treat a woman.

  I thought about her relationship with Zeke. It made me think about the example I’d given her. I hated that I’d been such a bad example. Thinking about it, and how I’d sit at the dining room table, and stay quiet, with my eyes down, and doing as I was told. I hated that was the example I’d set. It had only been a short time since we’d been in Pennsylvania and I’d been away from Drake, but even before I left, I began to realize just how much she had witnessed.

  At precisely six, there was a knock on the door. Mickey was there with two roses; one pink and one red.

  “Hi,” I answered, nervously tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear.

  “Beautiful,” he whispered, as if his breath was stolen. My heart beat fast as he handed me the red rose, and leaned in and kissed me gently on the lips. There was a throat clearing behind me, and we pulled apart. Mickey came inside and handed Talon the pink rose. “For ye.”

  Talon’s eyes lit up. “Thank you.”

  “It smells delicious in here.”

  I walked the fifteen steps to the kitchen and motioned to the couch,

  “Have a seat. It will be done in a few.” I briefly wondered what he thought of the ratty thing, and then, it didn't matter, because I knew Mickey didn't care about stuff like that. I looked at him before I bent low to take the pork from the oven.

  Mickey was slouched on the couch with one boot up on the coffee table. He looked like he belonged there and that he didn’t have a care in the world. He seemed laid back. He wore a gray T-shirt under his vest, jeans that had a small hole in the knee but weren’t so worn that they looked bad. His beard was trimmed close to his face, and his dark hair with salt and pepper flecks was also cut shorter. No, this man didn't care about a ratty couch, not one bit.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Mickey

  “This is really good.” I took a bite of the succulent pork and watched Marie chew. God her mouth, with those pretty little lips that were capable of giving so much pleasure. She must’ve noticed me looking because her cheeks blushed pink. Talon sat on the floor with her plate on the coffee table and her feet tucked under her butt. She seemed like she was in a mood, but I knew enough about teenage girls to know when one was bothered. I was grateful she seemed to be accepting me here, and not pushing her mom’s buttons as I’d witnessed before.

  “I had an interesting day,” Marie said.

  “How so?”

  “Aubrey came over, and after that, Jenny came by.”

  “I met Serenity. She was so cute!” Talon smiled huge bringing her out of her mood.

  “Talon’s going to help Jenny out some. Aren’t ya, Tal?”

  “I can’t wait. She said she'd pay me too and maybe I can get a real phone as opposed to this thing Mom got me at Walmart. You know you just pay as you go? This thing barely has any data.”

  Marie shot Talon a dissatisfied look. I didn't blame Marie. “They’re good people, Talon. I think it will be good. Plus, Jenny has this enormous family. I guarantee as soon as Angie can, she’s going to be all over getting to know ye.”

  “Who’s that?” Talon asked scooping another helping of vegetables onto her plate.

  “Angie is Jenny’s mum. She’s got a ton of grandkids. She is pretty much a saint. Jenny’s oldest brother was killed, and Angie raised his son. Then, she took legal custody of Aubrey’s foster sister, too.”

  “Oh, my gosh! What happened?” Talon wondered. I liked that she felt free enough to have an open conversation. I also noted the way Marie was taking us in. She was pleased with the exchange.

  “I’m afraid that’s not my story to tell. But Ari and Gino recently flew the coop, and Angie is having a bit of Empty-Nest Syndrome.”

  “I had some of her pastry today. Aubrey brought it.” Marie said between bites. “It was delicious.”

  “Did Aubrey help ye with anything else?” I was careful how I worded my question, but was hopeful that Marie was taking steps to help her with her bad dreams.

  “We talked. I think we’ll talk again soon. You have nice friends, Mickey.”

  “They’re good people. I’m glad ye like them. Hoping they’ll be yer friends, too.”
<
br />   “I think I’d like that.”

  “So, Mickey,” Talon questioned. “You raised your daughter on your own?”

  “I did.”

  “What happened to her mom?”

  “Talon,” Marie scolded.

  “No, it’s okay,” I held up my hand letting Marie know I wasn't offended by Talon’s straightforwardness.

  “Maura’s mum died, when Maura was a wee one.”

  “Oh, I had no idea. I’m sorry.” Marie placed her hand on my shoulder. I shook my head as an image of Lacey, lifeless on the ground, flashed through my head.

  “She wouldn’t have been much of a mum. She was an addict.”

  Talon gasped, finally looked sheepish then asked, “Oh, Mickey. Were you a part of the club, then? What did you do with Maura?”

  This was a more comfortable topic. I could talk easily about Maura. “For a while, we were at the clubhouse. Then, I got a place here. We stayed at the clubhouse a lot, but at some point, my girl couldn't be around a bunch of horny guys.” Talon gasped. “Sorry, not like that. They’re a good bunch, but it was just too much for a young girl. She could hold her own, though.”

  “Do you sell drugs?” Talon asked.

  “Talon,” Marie gritted out.

  “What, Mom? He’s in a motorcycle club, and his baby momma OD'ed.” This was the first time I saw this side to Talon, and I didn’t quite like it.

  “Do you kill people?” she kept on, “Not let ‘em leave your gang if they want to?”

  “That’s enough, child. I understand ye being curious, but don’t disrespect your Mum or me.” Talon rolled her eyes. I wasn't sure how our conversation had turned the way it had.

  “That’s not okay, Talon. I want you to go in your room and think about your behavior. I know you’re mad about Zeke, but that does not give you the right to speak to Mickey like that.”

  Talon got up to leave, but not before trying to get the last word. “Dad would never have made me go to my room.”

  “No, he...” I placed my hand on Marie’s arm. “Give her some time to think about her behavior. I’ll talk to her.”

  “You don’t need to do that?” Marie puffed out her chest, and I could see how angry she was. “I’m sorry. I feel like she just ruined our meal.”

  “Don’t be. She has a lot to work through. What happened with Zeke today? Do I need to get involved?”

  “No. I think, you’re right. She does have a lot to work through.” Marie gradually seemed to calm down and stood to do the dishes.

  “Let me help ye.” Marie did a double take and watched me as I followed her into the kitchen grabbing the plates on the way.

  “You want to help me?”

  “Of course! Who do ye think did the dishes when it was Maura and me?” I turned on the faucet and began scrubbing a plate. She didn't have a working dishwasher. In fact, I was surprised that the oven worked. I wanted to make this place nicer for her, but I had this sense that I couldn't do it all for her.

  If I were honest, I would’ve liked to move Talon and Marie in with me, but since she wasn't ready to let me help her fix this place up, then she undoubtedly wasn't prepared to move in with me. I knew I needed to give her time, and I was beyond patient.

  I washed. She dried. I kissed her neck once as I leaned over her to hand her a glass. Another time, I grabbed her around her waist. I kept touching her, and her mood from dealing with Talon had considerably changed. There was one thing I didn't want to wait any longer to do for her though, and I was hoping she would be okay with it.

  “Marie, I need to talk to ye about something.” She reached up to put the last glass in the cupboard. Her shirt drifted up exposing the smallest amount of her bareback. Damn, her porcelain skin begged to be licked.

  “Ye know I want ye to tell me who Talon’s dad is. I get that yer afraid, and I hope as we build what we’re building that ye’ll tell me, but I want to make sure yer safe. Please let me. I’m going to have Jared come by and put in a security system.” I waited to see if she would object or if she would oppose the help, but I didn't get that reaction. What I got surprised me even more.

  “Okay. Thanks.”

  “That easy?”

  “I’m not always difficult, am I?”

  “No, yer not difficult, when I’m taking yer clothes off.” I grinned, and she surprised me by pressing herself against me and coming in for a deep kiss.

  She began to pull away.

  I gripped her hip pulling her closer to me. I needed her to feel what she did to me. She leaned into me, pressing her breasts against my chest. I could feel her hardened nipples. I wanted to strip her bare and ravage her right there. Marie looked up at me. Her eyelashes fluttered. Her mouth parted. She was as affected as I was. “You unravel me,” I whispered and pulled my fingers through her hair.

  “If Talon...”

  “I know,” she groaned.

  “Let me get myself under control, and I’ll go talk to her.”

  “I should probably be the one to talk to her.”

  “I got it, Marie,” I reassured her.

  She looked at me skeptically, then said, “Okay.”

  I waited a few minutes and went to speak with Talon. Knocking, I asked, “Can I come in?”

  “Whatever,” Talon called through the door.

  “It looks nice.” It was cool to see Maura’s furniture being put to use.

  “Mind if I sit?” Talon was curled up at the top of her bed holding a pillow to her chest. She gave me a look that said, ‘do what you want,’ so I sat at the end of the bed.

  “Yer mom’s been through a lot. Hasn't she?”

  “What do you think?”

  “I think that maybe ye been through a lot, too. I’m betting that if yer Mum was afraid of yer dad like I suspect she was, seeing that she was hiding in her own skin, where that left ye was probably pretty lost.”

  Her lip slightly quivered, “He wasn't all bad, you know?”

  “I bet. It’s okay to love him, even if ye hate him a little, too.”

  She paused and thought about that. “I only ever saw him hit her the one time, but I kind of knew things weren’t right. Now, we’re here, and she seems happy, but I miss my friends. And Zeke? I thought he was different. I don’t know. I guess it just feels like she’s moving on and everything's happening so easily for her, but everything is hard for me. It’s not fair.”

  “So yer having a hard time, and yer taking it out on her? Don't ye think she’s had enough taken out on her?”

  “I... what... no.” I gave her a pointed look followed by a slight nod. She put her hand over her mouth understanding finally dawning on her what she was doing.

  “I'm... I’m sorry.”

  “Not the one who needs an apology, honey.”

  She put her head down in shame, and I reached forward tilted her chin up and said, “None of that. She’ll accept the apology with little thought. She loves ye. Want to talk to ye about something else ye brought up in there. My club. Know ye been around bikers. Not sure what ye’ve seen, but what ye need to know is my club will never touch ye. If something bad happens, ye’ll never feel it. When I say we’re a family, I mean it. I think ye get that I like yer Mum. I’ll never disrespect her. I’ll never disrespect ye. So in return, I need ye to know that it’s not okay to disrespect my club or me. Okay?”

  “Alright, Mickey.”

  “I have it on good authority that there’s ice cream in the freezer.” I stood and put out my hand to her to help her up. She paused for a moment deciding on what to do. It didn't take her long to reach out and place her hand in mine. I liked her. She had a ways to go, and I hoped I could be the man to help her heal, as well.

  THE AIR IN THE CAB of the truck was stale. I cracked the window as The Stones' Wild Horses played softly. Talon was in the backseat with headphones in. I pointed out to Marie Daws and Aubrey’s place, and then Jules and Jenny’s.

  “They live close to the clubhouse. How come you’re so far away?”

 
“Actually, we were in the clubhouse for a long time while Maura was a child. One day, I noticed Daws staring at my girl, and I knew it was only a matter of time until she was a woman, and I’d be fighting my bruders off. I still have a room there. I don’t use it much. Maura uses it sometimes, if she has a wee bit much to drink. Was Talon not around a lot of bikers?”

  I waited to see what she would give to me; if she’d open up.

  “We had a small house that we got not long after I found out I was pregnant. I tried to make a life for Talon as normal as I could.”

  “Was it hard to leave yer house?”

  She laughed, “Do you mean do I miss my house?”

  “Well, do ye?”

  “No,” she said simply and then stared out the window, shutting down the conversation. We pulled into the clubhouse parking lot. I wanted to show them what our club was like.

  Talon popped her earbuds out. “If your club isn't into seedy stuff, how come there's a guard at the gate?” She was so observant, and it was apparent that she would make one hell of a strong woman one day.

  “We have a lot of valuable equipment. Remember what I said about nothing ever touching ye. I meant nothing will ever touch ye.” I said it slowly.

  I hadn’t filled Marie in on the conversation with Talon, so I received a raised brow from her. We exited the truck. There were a few boys playing basketball. Josh was a junior in high school, and Danny a sophomore. The kids were Tiny’s nephews that he took custody of, not that long ago. They were good kids. I had no doubt that when the time came, they’d be patched in.

  I noticed Talon gawking at them. Where they got their looks from, I had no idea.

  “Josh, Danny, this is Talon and Marie,” I called out, and they waved then continued their game.

  “This is the shop.”

  I walked them through the open bay doors and saw Daws welding a fender that would go on a custom bike he was building for a client. A few of the other guys had a car up on the lift and were fixing a muffler.