He salutes, gives me a big wolfish grin and departs before Poppy arrives.
I feel oddly breathless and giggly, as if I’ve just taken part in some secret, undercover operation in a Carry On film. Quickly whipping out my phone, I check online and, sure enough, the recipe for caramel sauce seems fairly easy. I think even I could do it! There are only three ingredients: sugar, butter and cream. And luckily, we have them all.
‘Fancy a walk around the lake?’ asks Poppy, coming back into the kitchen. ‘I’m shattered. I think I just need some proper fresh air. And you look as if you’ve been mad busy ever since I left.’
‘Oh, I have,’ I agree, with feeling. ‘Yes, a walk would be great.’
I can make the caramel sauce later.
It’s a cold, crisp afternoon. A sharp frost has touched the fir trees and the grass with a diamond glitter, and we wrap up extra warmly to head out.
‘Have you thought any more about telling Jed?’ I ask carefully, as we walk along the side of the narrow tarmac road. ‘About the baby?’
‘No.’ She shoots me a worried glance. ‘You haven’t said anything to anyone, have you?’
‘No, of course not.’
We walk in silence for a while, our breath emerging in the icy air like little puffs of smoke. The sound of Christmas songs drifts across the lake from the ice rink, making me feel a little sentimental and reminding me that Mum and Dad will be celebrating Christmas on board a ship. Normally, by this time, I’d be looking forward to travelling down to the south coast to spend the festive period with them. This year will be strange.
‘Come on, Clemmy!’ calls a bossy voice. ‘Little bit faster!’
Poppy and I turn at footsteps behind us. Sophie is jogging along the road with that distinctive spring of hers that for some reason always reminds me of an Easter bunny bobbing along. Clemmy is bringing up the rear, huffing and puffing, lagging a long way behind.
‘It’ll all be worth it when you can slip into that size six wedding dress!’ calls Sophie encouragingly. ‘Hello, ladies,’ she calls as she springs past. ‘Fancy joining us? You could nip that post-Christmas flab in the bud, before it even gets the chance to stick to your hips!’
‘Er, no, we’re fine, thanks,’ says Poppy.
‘Maybe another day,’ I add.
Sophie laughs. ‘Yes, that’s what they all say – and that day never arrives! Clemmy, pick your feet up, for goodness sake! You’re rolling along as if you’re on casters.’
Clemmy eventually catches us up, but she’s almost too knackered to speak. ‘All I’ve had is broccoli and celery juice. How can I exercise on that?’ she pants, and raising her hand a few weary inches, she staggers on. Bobbing Sophie is now just a spot in the distance.
‘Poor Clemmy. She loves her food so much,’ says Poppy.
‘She must really want that wedding venue to put herself through this torture!’
‘The running, you mean?’
‘No, having to be Sophie’s whipping boy!’
Poppy groans in agreement. ‘Why does she have to look so cheerful when she runs?’
‘I know. It’s just not natural.’
Poppy decides to take a turn around the rink but although I get into my skates, I opt to just lean on the observers’ side of the rail and watch.
I hear a male voice nearby and my heart nearly leaps out of my chest.
Jackson?
I glance around but he’s nowhere in sight and, eventually, I conclude I must have been imagining things.
At first, after we broke up, I’d see Jackson everywhere. A tall man in a familiar navy coat striding along the high street. The guy with cropped, dark hair ahead of me in the queue at the supermarket. A face in a magazine with that brilliant smile that lights up the room. Of course it was never actually him. But every time, my heart skipped a beat. And apparently it’s still happening!
I just wish I could get over all that nonsense once and for all.
The trouble is that at one point I really did think Jackson and I were forever.
And then, as reliably as clockwork, my throat is aching, remembering the good times we shared …
‘Hi, there!’ It’s Alex at my shoulder. ‘How’s the inventor of the fabulous Ayers Rock Ganache and Apple Crumble Cake?’
I laugh. ‘Thank you for coming to my rescue – on both occasions.’
‘I think you got away with it,’ he murmurs, ramping up the act by glancing behind him furtively, as if someone might be listening in.
‘That chocolate bombe turned out all right, I thought.’ I give him a superior look.
He nods. ‘I thought the judgements were very unfair. It definitely wasn’t a manure heap. More a big pile of – anyway, we’ll not get into that!’ He’s grinning broadly so I whack him on the arm.
‘And I thought you were on my side,’ I wail, pretending to be upset.
‘I am, I am. It actually tasted great.’
I shrug. ‘I suppose it’s a good lesson in not judging a book by its cover.’
‘Or a strangely flat Australian land formation by its chocolate icing?’
Smiling, I dig my hands deeper in my pockets against the cold. ‘I thought Sophie was going to get hysterical with laughter at her own manure heap joke.’
‘It was actually a very good cake,’ says a deep male voice behind me, making me jump.
Jackson.
This time, it really is him. I wasn’t imagining it.
He smiles from Alex to me and back again. Then he glances down at my skates. ‘How about a turn around the rink?’
‘Oh, no. I’m rubbish. I’ll just stay here and watch.’ I make shooing movements with my arms, hoping he and Alex will both hop onto the ice and leave me alone.
But Jackson isn’t a man to take no for an answer.
He grins at Alex and grabs my hand, and before I can even think about protesting, he leads me to the entrance. Then he steps onto the ice and, turning to face me, takes hold of both my hands and pulls me onto the rink with him. I jerk backwards but he steadies me. I feel the warmth of his hand as grips my waist and then we’re skating together – or rather, he’s propelling me along and I’m clutching onto him for dear life, most of the time not even having the chance to practise what Poppy has taught me about pushing off on alternate feet. He’s whizzing me around the ice and, after a while, I find myself relaxing into it and beginning to feel quite exhilarated.
Jackson’s hand around my waist is giving me the confidence to take chances. He’s the leader in this ice skating partnership, just like he always was in our relationship.
The icy breeze in my face as we sail around the perimeter of the rink pinches my cheeks and makes them glow. I’m glowing inside, too, safe in the steady support of Jackson’s arms, and when he smiles down at me, my heart lurches as it always did. It’s almost like we’ve whisked back in time and are a normal couple again. I can almost forget Sophie even exists. I just want to fly around the ice in Jackson’s arms forever …
I glance at the faces along the perimeter railing and catch Alex standing watching us.
He has a strange expression on his face and when I wave, it takes a second for him to wave back. The next time we circle past him, I give him a big cheesy smile and he’s ready this time with an enthusiastic thumbs-up.
‘Don’t just stand there,’ Jackson calls to him. ‘Get on the ice.’
I’m trying to turn round to see what Alex’s reaction is, without losing my balance completely, when I suddenly find myself guided to an abrupt stop. My back is to the perimeter railing and Jackson is staring down at me with an intensity that takes my breath away.
His arms are still around me, even though I’m no longer in danger of falling, and my heart gives a giant leap. I thought this spin around the ice was just for old times’ sake, but the expression in Jackson’s dark blue eyes right this moment is suddenly very far from casual and friendly.
‘I’ve missed you, Roxy,’ he says, raising his voice above the sound of Slade�
��s ‘Merry Christmas Everybody’. He grins lazily. ‘I don’t mind admitting you scared me half to death when you asked me to marry you. And I thought I’d managed to put our relationship behind me and move on. But finding you here has made it all come flooding back. The memories of being together. And now …’ His piercing blue eyes locked on mine reduce my knees to jelly, just like they always did.
I gulp. ‘And now?’
‘Now I can’t stop thinking about you.’ He stares down at me with such sad longing, my whole body starts thrumming with a breathless joy I thought I’d never feel again.
Jackson has missed me. He thought he could move on without me but now he can’t stop thinking about me.
I stare up at him, struck dumb by his fairytale declaration – on the ice of all places. So romantic! He lowers his head and my heart goes into overdrive because I know he’s going to kiss me …
Then, suddenly, I catch sight of Poppy on the other side of the rink. She’s standing still on the ice, staring over at me, and the shock on her face brings me sharply back to reality. I twist away from Jackson, deftly evading the kiss.
What the hell am I even doing, allowing myself to be swept away by him all over again? The last time I kissed him in front of an audience, it ended in total disaster. Granted, the audience that time was somewhere in the region of ten million, as opposed to the fifty or so milling around the rink today. But who’s to say the same thing won’t happen all over again?
Jackson looks a bit taken aback at my squirming away from him. I guess it doesn’t happen to him very often.
I move further away from him on the pretext of looking at my watch. ‘What about Sophie?’ I ask casually.
He shrugs. ‘What about her?’
‘You’ve just told me you missed me. Do you think that’s fair on Sophie?’
He grins. ‘Chill out, Roxy. I like Sophie but it’s early days. Things aren’t that serious yet.’
‘I doubt she sees it like that.’ They’re spending bloody Christmas together! How much more serious does it get?
‘Maybe. But she’ll get over it.’
‘So does that mean you think we were in a serious relationship?’
‘It was as serious as any relationship I’ve ever had. You were special to me, Roxy, and you could be again.’ He shrugs. ‘If you wanted to be.’
The look he gives me makes my heart lurch. But there’s a little warning voice in my head telling me not to fall for his charm because it can only end in disaster.
Remembering Poppy, I glance anxiously around the rink, but she’s nowhere in sight.
‘Come on. Let’s get out of here,’ Jackson says suddenly, grabbing my wrist and pulling me in the direction of the exit.
‘What?’ I try to resist. ‘But where?’
He shrugs. ‘Anywhere. We’ll go for a drive, far away from here, so we can get reacquainted.’ There’s a mischievous smile on his face that I always found impossible to resist. ‘Come on. You know you want to.’
I shake my head. ‘No, Jackson. I’m working this afternoon.’
‘But surely you deserve a lunch break? Tell Poppy you need to go shopping into Guildford.’
‘I can’t.’ My heart is hammering, being so close to him, but the warning bells are clanging even louder now.
He puts his arm around my waist and tries to turn me round, but the sudden movement is fatal. My blades slide from under me and down I go, crash-landing onto the ice, which brings the tears to my eyes.
Jackson grins down at me, holding out his hand to help me up. But landing so hard on my bum has brought me back to reality in more ways than one. I don’t know how to take Jackson’s declaration that he wants to be with me again. Part of me wants to fling myself into his arms and forget everything that happened post-proposal. But there’s something about the manner of his approach that makes me wary. I’m not exactly fond of Sophie but the poor girl doesn’t deserve to be dismissed as casually as Jackson just did. And I also can’t help wondering if Jackson’s sudden ardour has something to do with the fact that he caught me having fun with Alex in the kitchen.
Ignoring his outstretched hand, I roll over onto my knees, the way Poppy taught me, and get myself back on my feet. ‘I have to get back to work now, Jackson.’
His smile slips. ‘Okay. Have it your way,’ he says, folding his arms. ‘See you later, Roxy.’
Abandoned at the edge of the rink, I watch him go with a slightly sinking heart. I’d forgotten Jackson’s tendency to sulk when he doesn’t get his own way. On the other hand, he’s just poured out how he felt about me, so I can hardly blame him for feeling disappointed I have to go back to work.
I glance at my watch. I need to find Poppy and head back to the cabin. Suddenly, I spot her at the kiosk, handing in her skates, and foolishly, I decide to save time by crossing the rink instead of skating round the perimeter.
I’m half way across, on my achingly slow, perilous journey, when a hefty rugby player type skating backwards to impress his girlfriend fails to see me and crashes into my side. We manage to stay upright and he skates on. But a second later, I lose my tentative balance and down I go.
I sit there, looking around for Jackson, trying to summon the strength to get up. But this time, it feels like a mammoth effort. All the feelings stirred up by Jackson’s declaration seem to have rendered me weak as water, and I feel suddenly on the verge of tears.
Then suddenly, out of nowhere, he’s there at my side, holding out a hand – and I’m reaching out gratefully and being swung in one easy movement to my feet.
I look up at him with a grateful smile, feeling safe again.
And it isn’t Jackson at all.
It’s Alex.
Chapter 14
‘You keep having to rescue me!’
He grins. ‘I know. I’m hoping it might turn into a full-time job.’
‘The demand is definitely there.’ I rub my shoulder woefully. I banged it quite hard when I landed on the ice.
While Alex is bending down to pick up a stray glove someone’s dropped nearby, I glance swiftly around the ice, trying to spot Jackson. But no luck.
‘He’s gone back to the hotel,’ says Alex.
‘Jackson?’ I ask with an innocent expression, although my blushes must give me away instantly. ‘Oh. Right.’
Great. Sophie’s probably in their room, taking a shower after her run with Clemmy. No, no, I do not want to think about that!
My feelings are confusing me. Something tells me getting back with Jackson would be a big mistake, so why did my heart leap with joy when he told me he’d missed me? It shouldn’t bother me that he’s with Sophie in their hotel room now – but it actually does.
A weight of despair descends, almost knocking me back down on the ice again. Then something occurs to me that makes me feel even worse. In all the emotional upheaval, I’d forgotten that Poppy probably wasn’t the only one to see our ‘almost-kiss’ in the middle of the ice. Alex must have witnessed me making a show of myself, too.
I swallow miserably. I really like Alex and I mind very much what he thinks of me – and his opinion certainly can’t be very high at the moment. What if he thinks I’m trying to steal Jackson away from Sophie?
The whole situation is just a big mess, I think, as I rub my aching shoulder distractedly.
‘Are you injured?’ Alex frowns. ‘Perhaps I should take a look at that shoulder?’
‘No!’ I shrink back in horror.
He looks taken aback, as well he might. Then he smiles in a puzzled way and says mildly, ‘I am a doctor, after all.’
I give my head a little shake, feeling stupid. ‘Yes. Of course you are.’ I force a laugh. ‘Sorry! The shoulder’s fine.’
He nods slowly. ‘Okay.’
I’m aware he’s still wondering what he said to provoke such a dramatic reaction in me – and it suddenly hits me that I’m weary of hiding the truth from everyone. Perhaps I should just tell Alex about the accident? Then he’d understand.
But next second, I know I can’t.
Old habits die hard …
‘I’d better go,’ I tell him, catching sight of Poppy standing at the edge of the rink, waiting for me. He puts his hand on my waist and guides me niftily through the passing skaters in her direction.
Walking back with Poppy, the conversation is a little strained and I know she must be wondering what on earth is going on. So, eventually, I bring up the subject.
‘By the way, when you saw me in a clinch with Jackson just then, it really didn’t mean anything.’
‘Are you sure?’ She peers at me.
‘Absolutely. We were … just talking about old times.’
She smiles in sympathy. ‘It would be only natural if you still had feelings for him.’
I sigh. ‘I suppose I do. I’ve tried hard to tell myself he’s history, but I guess I’ve never really stopped loving him.’
‘And does he feel the same?’
‘He said he missed me and he can’t stop thinking about me.’ My heart rate quickens at the memory.
‘Well, maybe you’ll get back together,’ says Poppy softly.
A little surge of happiness rushes up at the thought. But it’s not that simple.
‘He needs to tell Sophie it’s over first.’
She nods. ‘He does.’
We walk along in silence for a while, each of us deep in our own thoughts.
Then Poppy groans. ‘Oh God, I’ve just remembered. Sophie threatened to try out her presentation on us tonight. For the health and beauty book she’s writing.’
‘Perhaps she’s forgotten.’
Poppy makes a hilarious cross-eyed expression. ‘We can only hope.’
Just as we’re arriving back at the cabin, a car comes hurtling towards us along the narrow road.
Instinctively, I grab Poppy’s arm and we dive into the ditch, only for the driver of the car to slam on the brakes and make an abrupt left-hand turn into the parking area in front of the Log Fire Cabin. The car screeches to a halt, the door opens and out tumbles the driver.
‘It’s Ruby,’ says Poppy. ‘Oh God, she must have passed her test. I forgot she turned seventeen this year. There’ll be absolutely no stopping her now.’
Second Chances at the Log Fire Cabin Page 11
