‘You’re very welcome, Roxy,’ he says, in an even more solemn tone than me. Then we both start to laugh at the same time.
‘Roxy, I’m so sorry you didn’t get to have your moment. It’s just Sophie knows the routine so well and …’
The magic spell binding me to Alex is abruptly broken by the approach of Jackson and Sophie. Jackson is full of excuses. Sophie is anxiously checking her phone.
‘These things happen,’ I tell him.
‘Right, who’s up for a hot chocolate over there? While we wait to hear who wins?’ He looks pointedly at me.
I shrug, and – thinking everyone will be going over to the café – I start following Jackson. As I do, Alex lets go of me, and I glance back at him, feeling suddenly cold and as if something is missing.
‘No thanks, I’m heading back to the hotel for a drink,’ says Alex, walking away. ‘A stiff whisky, I think.’
I stare after him, feeling oddly panicky. To my surprise, I have a real urge to follow him. ‘Is the whisky to combat the cold?’ I call.
He turns back, still walking, and gives me a sad sort of smile that makes my heart lurch all over again. But instead of replying to my question, he just raises his hand and continues on his way, back to the hotel.
Jackson, who clearly hasn’t picked up on the tension between Alex and me at all, says, ‘Right. Hot chocolate, Roxy?’
At which point Sophie, who’s off her phone now, takes Jackson’s arm and purrs, ‘Will you miss me when I’m away doing my modelling agency interview?’
He turns to her, looks deep into her eyes and murmurs, ‘Sophie, just the thought of spending even one night without you is unbearable. What’s the bee supposed to do without the honey?’
Sophie, looking overjoyed at the sentiment, dives on him and smothers him in kisses. ‘Oh, what a lovely thing to say. You really are the most romantic man I’ve ever met, Jackson Cooper.’
He laps it all up, grinning at me. And I stare at him, stunned at the way the words just rolled off his tongue.
The very same words he said to me when we were together and I was madly in love with him!
A cold feeling slithers through my veins. Did Jackson mean those words when he said them to me? Does he mean them now, saying them to Sophie? It seems unlikely, given that he’s offered to break up with her for me!
I feel as if I’m suddenly seeing him in a whole different light and it’s not a very pretty picture …
Chapter 21
Over the next few days, I don’t see much of Alex. He’s apparently catching up with some friends who live on the other side of Guildford. According to Jed, it was a spur-of-the-moment decision to go and stay with them for a few nights.
It feels odd somehow not to have Alex popping into the kitchen for a coffee now and again and chatting to me while the kettle boils. Or seeing him when we all sit down to dinner in the evening.
I even miss my skating lessons.
But having said that, Poppy and I are so frantically busy baking for Sylvia that I don’t actually have time to examine my feelings about the night of the skating contest very closely. Truly Scrumptious won the competition and there was a big photo of Jackson and Sophie in next day’s local paper with the headline, ‘Skating win is Truly delicious!’
As a consequence of the publicity, visitor numbers at the rink have rocketed and Poppy’s baking is even more in demand. To cope with Sylvia’s increased order, I’m up very early every morning and, by the time I fall into bed, I’m so exhausted, I fall asleep as soon as my head touches the pillow.
After a day or two, when I’ve had time to think about things rationally, I realise that I only felt such a strong bond with Alex because he rescued me from potential disaster. Thinking I was going to crash into that barrier in front of the gathered crowd was terrifying, so it was no wonder I felt indebted to him after he saved me!
Jed says Alex will be returning in time for Clemmy and Ryan’s engagement party on Saturday night, and I’m looking forward to that. It will be good to catch up with Alex, as a friend.
I’ve been so busy, I haven’t even seen much of Jackson, which to be honest I’m quite relieved about. I’m vaguely aware that Sophie is down in the dumps about something but I’m not sure what because she hasn’t confided in anyone, except Jackson. She seems to spend lots of time with her phone glued to her ear or shrieking hysterically at Jackson that ‘they’ are treating her scandalously (whoever ‘they’ are). When she’s not doing that, she’s ordering poor Clemmy on another exercise regime, which Poppy, Ryan and I don’t really approve of. But Clemmy seems determined to lose the weight for the magazine feature, and nothing we say can dissuade her.
As for Poppy, she still hasn’t told Jed about the baby and she seems to be growing paler and more unhappy every day.
She and I stay in the kitchen most of the time, with barely even time to talk as we pull trays in and out of the oven, mix yet more pastry, and check the pan of filling that seems to be constantly bubbling on the stove. Then there’s the icing of the gingerbread Santas whose expressions, frankly, are becoming more shady-looking by the day as we try to ice so many in the time available. But there have been no complaints from Sylvia, so she’s obviously happy with our work.
On Thursday, it snows again, turning everything into a winter wonderland. Ruby disappears for most of the day and, when questioned later, she grins and says her new friend, Sam – who lives at the nearby farm – has the use of a snowmobile and they’ve been testing it to see how fast it will go. At this revelation, poor Gloria turns almost as white as the snow itself.
By Friday, the day before Clemmy and Ryan’s engagement party, I’ve attempted three different desserts, with varying success. The raspberry cream tarts tasted good, although the pastry was a little too crisp (verging on burnt), the lemon meringue pie was fiddly to do but turned into a triumph, if I do say so myself, and the chocolate mousse was nice and bubbly and rich, and seemed to go down a treat with everyone.
I still don’t think Poppy has sussed that I’m actually learning on the job. But, to be honest, at the moment she’s so distracted by her own problems that I doubt she’d even notice if I served up baked doormat with a topping of parsnip ice cream.
I keep thinking fondly of Alex and how he helped with the apple crumble cake. But I’m actually managing fine on my own, too, much to my surprise.
The day of the engagement party dawns bright and sunny.
Waiting for Poppy in the kitchen, I stare out at the dazzling expanse of snow leading down to the lake, thinking what a perfect day it is.
‘Penny for them,’ says Poppy coming into the kitchen.
She looks as bone-weary as I feel. There are dark patches below her eyes and it’s fairly clear she’s not sleeping properly.
‘Oh, nothing exciting. How are you?’ I ask.
Joining me at the window, she groans. ‘Jed slept on the sofa bed in the study last night because I was tossing and turning so much. And to be honest, I was glad. I don’t know if it’s the hormones going wild in my system, but I can’t stand him near me at the moment.’ She turns watery eyes on me. ‘How sad is that?’
I sigh heavily. ‘No wonder things don’t feel normal between you when you’re keeping such a huge secret from him. You need to tell him about the baby, Poppy.’
She doesn’t even reply. She just walks away and starts opening cupboards, getting out ingredients and slamming the doors shut.
I watch her for a moment. It’s all very well me giving advice, but I’m not in Poppy’s shoes. If I were, wouldn’t I be feeling the same as she does? I know for a fact I’d never want a man to feel trapped into commitment because of a baby …
She turns and there are tears running down her face. ‘Sorry, Roxy, I just feel powerless to know what to do. And until I can get my head clear on how I feel, I’m keeping the baby news to myself, okay? But I will tell Jed. Eventually. I promise.’
I nod and she attempts a smile. ‘I’m so glad I bumped into you
that day in the supermarket, Roxy. I’d be a complete wreck right now if I didn’t have you to talk to!’
I grin. ‘And bake with. Speaking of which, how many mince pies do we need to make today?’
She groans. ‘Too many. Honestly, I had a nightmare last night where a giant gingerbread man was chasing me down a dark alley, brandishing a piping gun, and I couldn’t escape because the exit was blocked with a mountain of mincers.’
We look at each other and burst out laughing.
Ruby walks in at that moment and demands to know what we’re laughing at, so Poppy tells her about the dream.
‘Ha! Brilliant!’ she says. ‘I used to have that dream where I’m falling from a high building and I was always terrified. But then I decided I wanted to be a stunt artist.’
‘So do you land on something soft and bouncy these days?’ I ask curiously.
‘No, I just never have the dream now. Bloody typical! I’m all prepared and now it never happens!’
‘That’s life for you,’ grins Poppy.
Ruby glances at her watch. ‘Right, I’m taking Mum’s car into Guildford to collect the fancy dress costumes.’
We both glance at her in alarm.
‘Don’t worry. She said I could. And the roads are clear now the snow plough has been along. There’s no point passing my test if I’m not allowed to get behind the wheel, is there?’
‘Well, drive carefully,’ calls Poppy after her as she leaves, jingling the car keys with relish.
‘I will.’ She pops her head back round the door. ‘Oh and a courier will be dropping off a parcel this morning. It’s Sophie’s costume from Dazzle. Don’t open it until I get back!’
‘Lucky Sophie, having the entire fashion world at her disposal!’ Poppy says.
‘Yes, she gave me the brief and I spoke to such a nice man in charge of the fashion store. We decided together what would suit Sophie perfectly. I can’t wait for her to see it. She’s going to be the belle of the ball. Well, after Clemmy, that is.’ She beams and hurries out.
The mention of Sophie and the fabulous dress winging its way from Dazzle as we speak does nothing to improve my mood. And Ruby’s obvious adoration of Sophie is just plain irritating!
‘Why on earth she thinks that woman is so fabulous beats me,’ says Poppy, echoing exactly what I was thinking.
‘She’s impressed with the packaging and not what’s inside,’ I murmur, and Poppy laughs and agrees.
An hour later, as the first batch of mince pies are filling the kitchen with a glorious Christmassy aroma and making me feel hungry, the doorbell rings.
Instantly, my heart starts hammering, thinking it might be Jackson. I’ve been successfully avoiding him for the past few days, but it’s only a matter of time before he corners me and demands to know how I feel about him. I can tell from his expression recently that he’s growing pretty fed up with Sophie’s increasingly erratic moods.
But it’s not Jackson. It’s the courier Ruby ordered, with a package that presumably contains Sophie’s fairytale ‘Elsa’ dress. Poppy doesn’t even give it a second glance when I take it through, which just shows how down she is. Normally, she’d be wanting to take a peek at the contents.
I’m not keen on seeing the dress, either – but for a different reason. I don’t especially want to see the outfit Sophie has chosen with Jackson in mind – especially since mine is a boringly conservative number with a matching cape that wouldn’t look out of place on a woman three times my age.
I would have liked to feel glamorous or at least reasonably attractive at the party.
An image of Alex floats into my mind, as it’s been doing oddly regularly of late. Ever since the night of the skating contest, to be exact. It would be nice to get dressed up and feel ‘normal’ for a change.
But the trouble is, it doesn’t seem to matter how many times I tell myself that a person can still be attractive, even with burn scars like mine, it doesn’t seem to register as true.
I should be used to my scars by now.
But even now, eleven years after it happened, if I accidentally catch sight of myself undressed in a mirror (which is rare), I want to break down and cry at the sight of the mottled bumps and ridges on my shoulder and part of the way down my arm, still visible even after two rounds of skin grafts.
I can’t recall what it feels like to have smooth, unblemished skin you can be proud of. And to be able to face a mirror without fear.
We’re just starting on the icing of the gingerbread men when Ruby bursts in with a big box that she dumps breathlessly on the kitchen floor. Excitedly, she wastes no time in tearing off the brown tape and diving in amongst the cellophane-wrapped outfits.
‘Mine!’ She holds it up in triumph. It’s a long, silky green dress.
I stare at it, puzzled. ‘I thought you’d decided to go as Wonder Woman.’
She shakes her head. ‘I changed my mind. I’m going to be Princess Fiona from the Shrek movie. I didn’t fancy melting the night away as a superhero. And Fiona’s a bit more glamorous.’
Poppy smiles. ‘Perhaps you’re growing up, Ruby.’
Ruby waggles her eyebrows. ‘Maybe. Did Sophie’s outfit arrive from Dazzle?’
‘Yup.’ Poppy points at the brown parcel on the worktop.
Ruby rubs her hands together. ‘Brilliant. Can we have a grand try-on? Just the girls, I mean. The guys will probably look pretty boring. I really wouldn’t want to be a boy. You’d have to pretend you hated getting dressed up!’
The ‘grand try-on’ takes place after lunch when everyone is here.
Ruby brings the box through to the living room and stands by the log fire doling out our outfits like Father Christmas.
Clemmy is thrilled with her Cinderella dress and rushes off to try it on immediately, dragging Ryan and his Batman outfit in her wake.
‘Very sexy,’ says Jed when Poppy holds up her beautiful Cruella de Vil dress. His face is full of love and affection but she quickly deflects his remark, saying she’ll need to have her hair done specially to match the costume. Turning away from Jed, she asks if I’ll do it for her.
‘Of course I will.’ My heart goes out to Jed, who’s staring sadly into space. I should imagine the last thing he’s interested in is his Woody cowboy outfit.
Ruby hands me my cellophane bag with a wink.
I glance at the folded-up costume and my heart skips a beat. This doesn’t look like the outfit I ordered. It’s far too sparkly!
Quickly I rip open the bag and shake it out.
‘Ruby? I think you’ve ordered the wrong one. I wanted the fairy godmother costume with the cape and the hood, not the one with the “come hither and let me ravage you” cleavage.’
Jackson and Ryan glance over with interest.
Ruby casts me a sheepish look. ‘I thought you’d look much better in the glam one. The other one looked like it was meant for a granny.’
I grin, pretending I’m not that bothered, but inside I’m panicking. Apart from a deep neckline, the dress has no sleeves. Far from being the cover-up I wanted, this dress will reveal everything I’m desperate to conceal.
I can’t possibly wear it. Unless …
Thinking fast, I mentally sift through the clothes I brought. I’m sure I packed the little cream shrug that I always wear with dresses. It’s not the perfect colour to slip over a pale pink satin dress, but it would definitely do the job.
I feel my heart rate slow with relief.
‘Where’s my dress?’ asks Sophie. ‘Can you bring it through, Ruby?’
Ruby scrambles to her feet immediately, which irritates me. Hero worship seems to have turned her into Sophie’s unpaid assistant! I glance at Poppy and I can see she’s thinking the same.
‘I was saving yours for last,’ says Ruby, presenting Sophie with her parcel.
Sophie waves it away. ‘Open it, then!’
‘Oh. Okay.’ Ruby drops to the floor and starts wrestling with the tape. ‘I was kinda hoping you would … okay, her
e goes. Drum roll everyone. Here comes the dress of the night!’
Sophie is sitting back in her chair, a smug look on her face, no doubt anticipating everyone’s rapturous response to the Dazzle creation about to emerge.
‘Ta-dah!’ Ruby holds up the costume.
There’s a shocked silence.
Sophie sits forward with an incredulous frown and barks, ‘What the fuck is that?’
‘Oh.’ Ruby looks at the thing she’s holding up and blanches. ‘Christ, it’s the Grinch. How did that happen?’
Ryan snorts. ‘Good choice, Sophie. Very Christmassy.’
‘You might have to re-think the diamond tiara, though,’ says Jackson, grinning broadly.
Sophie has gone white with fury. She doesn’t even bother responding to Jackson’s droll comment. The atmosphere is electric.
‘God, sorry, Sophie,’ says Ruby, red-faced. ‘I think the bloke I spoke to was a bit deaf. I definitely asked for Breakfast at Tiffany’s but he must have thought I said the Grinch.’
Sophie stares coldly at Ruby. ‘That makes no sense at all. And if you think I’m wearing that thing to the party tonight,’ she announces, her voice tinged with hysteria, ‘you are very much mistaken.’
Everyone is trying not to laugh. Out of the corner of my eye I see Poppy’s shoulders shaking.
Sophie rises to her feet and sweeps across the carpet towards the door, but her foot catches the edge of the costume box and she staggers a little. Everyone holds their breath. She lands half in Gloria’s lap and leaps away as if she’s touched an electric fence, before making it out of the door.
At which point Ruby, whose complexion has been growing redder by the second, sinks to the floor and completely corpses.
‘Ah-ha-ha-ha! Sorry. Ah-ha-ha-ha! Oh my God, that was the best laugh ever!’ She’s rolling around, clutching her stomach, tears rolling down her cheeks. ‘If you think I’m wearing that thing,’ she says in a stern voice uncannily like Sophie’s, ‘you are very much mistaken!’
‘Did you order the wrong one deliberately?’ asks Poppy, looking as if she can’t believe it.
Second Chances at the Log Fire Cabin Page 16
