by Garza, Amber
“Why?”
“That’s easy.” I wink, running my finger along her jaw-line. “Because I love you, Ives. I always have.”
Her eyes widen, and she sucks in a sharp breath. “Say it again.”
“I love you, Ives.” I lower my arm and grip the top of her dresser. Brushing my lips against her ear, I whisper. “I’ve been alone in your room now with you for a few minutes, and it’s killing me not to kiss those sexy lips. I don’t think I can hold off for much longer.”
With a slight smile, she nods. I slowly lower my face and swipe my lips across hers. Then I gently pull her bottom lip into my mouth. Letting go of her dresser, I bring one of my arms up to cradle her head, the other I snake around her waist. Then I run my tongue over her lips until she opens her mouth. She moans and wraps her arms around my neck, pulling me even closer. My tongue slides against hers, and it’s like I can’t get enough. The thought of releasing her is almost too much to bear. I massage the back of her head, tangling my fingers in her blond hair while her fingers run along the back of my neck causing goosebumps to rise on my flesh. Little sounds of pleasure escape from the back of Ivy’s throat, causing desire to burn through my veins. With my mouth still locked on hers, I turn her body away from the dresser and guide her toward the bed. I explore every inch of her mouth with my tongue, and run my fingers down her neck. Releasing her for one moment I push her down on the bed and climb over her, straddling my legs around her body. I lean down and capture her lips again, keeping my arms pinned around her body. She arches her back up and kisses me with desperation. I taste all her sadness and pain, but I also taste her longing and passion.
“Asher,” she breathes against my lips. “I love you too.”
I growl with satisfaction and lower my body on top of hers. “God, Ives, you don’t know how much that means to me to hear you say that.”
“I do,” she says between kisses. “I have for a long time.”
I run my fingertips over the collar of her shirt, pressing into her collarbone. Her chest heaves with each labored breath. I want to touch her everywhere. I want to be with her in the most intimate way possible. I lower my hand to the bottom of her shirt and slide my hand across her taut stomach. She shivers and kisses the inside of my neck, causing a chill to run through me. I raise my hand grazing her ribcage and lighting on the edge of her bra. My heart rate quickens and pulses through my trembling fingers.
She stiffens, pushing my arm down. “Asher, I’m not sure I’m ready right now.”
I nod, and extract my hand from her shirt.
A look of panic crosses her face. “I’m sorry. I just don’t think I can today."
Her apologetic expression makes me feel guilty. I kiss her on the cheek, and prop my elbow up on the bed so I’m facing her. “Ives, it’s fine, really. I shouldn’t have pushed you.”
“No, you didn’t do anything wrong, Asher. I love being with you. I just need more time, that’s all.”
I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “And I’ll give you all the time you need.”
“You mean it?”
“Of course. You’re worth the wait, Ives. I would never pressure you. When we finally are together, I want us both to be ready.”
Ivy smiles. “And you’re not mad?”
“Mad? Not at all. I mean, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want you right now. I mean, look at you. You’re gorgeous.” I nuzzle into her neck. “But that just means I have something to look forward to. When it does happen with us, Ives, it’s gonna be mind blowing.”
“You’re amazing, Asher.”
I laugh. “Wow, and I haven’t done anything yet. I must be even better than I thought.”
She giggles, and reaches out to touch my face. “I mean that who you are is amazing. I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I hope I never lose you again.”
“You won’t, I promise. I’m not going anywhere.”
She furrows her brows. “Where were you the last couple of days?”
I sigh. “I went to the Bay Area to see Cam.”
“Wow.” Ivy sits up and pulls her legs up to her chest. “That’s crazy. How did it go?”
I sit up as well, resting my back against the wall that her bed is pressed next to. “It went okay. Better than I thought, actually.”
“What made you decide to go there?”
“You.”
“Me?” She purses her lips, and it’s so cute that it makes me want to kiss her again. “How?”
“I just didn’t want there to be anything standing in our way of being together. We’ve come so far, Ives, but I was scared. After you ran off to see your grandpa in the hospital I knew I had to do everything in my power to fix all the things that have gone wrong with us.”
“Thank you, Asher.”
“Ives, Cam wouldn’t forgive me, but can you?”
“What do you mean?” Ivy purses her lips.
“Do you forgive me for going after Cam that night?”
“Of course I do. I know why you did it.” She gives me a pensive look. “What about you? Can you forgive me for lying to you?”
“I already have. That’s why I did all this. I want to be with you forever, Ives, and I knew that as long as Cam was hanging over our heads that couldn’t happen.”
Ivy lifts her arm and holds her hand out to me. I grasp it in mine and squeeze her fingers tightly. “I never thought I’d hear anyone say they wanted to be with me forever. I’ve always felt like a burden to the people in my life.”
“You’re not a burden, Ives. You’re everything to me.” I raise her hand and run my lips over her knuckles.
“I want to tell you something, Asher,” Ivy’s voice is quiet and unsure.
I nod. “Okay.”
“I didn’t kill my dad.”
I stare into her eyes. “I never thought you did.”
“Well, that makes one of us. I always thought I did.”
“That’s because your mom has poisoned you. She’s taught you to see yourself in a negative way. I don’t see you like that. I’ve always been able to see how amazing and wonderful you are.”
Ivy’s eyes shine with tears and she blinks them back. “I want to tell you what happened that day.” She swallows hard. “I’ve never told anyone before.”
I run my thumb along the inside of her palm, hoping to give her encouragement. “I’m right here, Ives. You can tell me anything.”
“A group of my friends were going to the river. I wanted to go so bad, but my dad wouldn’t let me go unless he came with. My mom didn’t think it was a good idea, but I begged and begged him. Finally he said yes and took me to the river. My friends and I were goofing around on a raft.” Ivy keeps her gaze trained on the pattern of her bedspread. “I fell off, and the current pulled me under for a minute. I guess my dad freaked out and came running toward me. The next thing I remember is him falling into the water and hitting his head on a rock. Blood was everywhere.” She shakes her head and bites her lip. “We called 911, but it was too late. He was gone by the time they arrived.”
“Oh, Ives, it was a horrible accident, but it’s not your fault.”
She locks eyes with mine. “That’s just it. It wasn’t an accident. I always thought it was. My mom told me for years that it was my selfishness that killed my dad. But my grandpa told me he had a brain aneurism and died before he even fell in the water. Don’t you see? He would’ve died that day no matter where he was.”
I am once again sickened by Ivy’s mom. How could she allow her daughter to believe something so horrible for so many years? Anger courses through me. “That woman better hope I never get my hands on her.”
Ivy smiles. “She can’t hurt me anymore, Asher, not now that I know that truth. I told her off the other night in the hospital. She’s pretty much ignoring me now.”
“That’s my girl.” I beam at her.
“Your girl, huh? I like that. I’ve always wanted to be someone’s girl.”
“You’ll always be mine.” I
kiss her on the tip of her nose.
“You know, I’ve always kept everything to myself. I was so scared that telling anyone would make it all worse. But the truth is, that you finding out helped me get free.” Ivy releases my hand and swirls her finger up my arm, tracing my veins. Her fingertips graze my shoulder and stop when they cup my face. “You gave me freedom, Asher, and I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you.”
I catch her hand in mine and hold it against my face. “You already have. Just being with me is payment enough.” I kiss the inside of her palm. “I don’t want you to feel like you owe me anything. I choose to be with you because it’s what I want. And I want you to be with me because it’s what you want.”
She nods. “It is. More than anything.”
I frame her face with my hands and draw her to me. “I love you so much, Ives.”
“I love you too, Asher.”
Drawing her to me, I gently bite at her lips with my teeth. She giggles, and I smother it with my mouth. Her hands rest on my waist, and my fingers catch on the back of her shirt. I run my tongue along her lips and then dart it inside her mouth. I swirl it along her tongue and think how I’ll never get tired of kissing her. I’ve kissed so many girls, but nothing has ever felt like this. Nothing has ever felt so right and pure; so meant to be. I want to be the only person she ever kisses. I want to be the only person she ever loves like this.
29
Ivy
I snuggle into Asher’s back, inhaling the musty scent of his leather jacket. Wind whips into my helmet and brushes over my collar bone. Cars zip past, their tires grinding on the asphalt. I bunch my fingers up in Asher’s t-shirt, and I feel his muscles flex beneath my palms. He rounds the corner of his street, causing our bodies to sway together. When his house comes into view I feel disappointment sink into my gut. As I take in the trees with rust colored leaves that are already falling off, I think about how crazy it is that the summer has come to an end. This will be our last ride together for months. I want to cry at the thought.
Asher guides the bike into his driveway and kills the engine. I pull the helmet off my head and fluff my hair with my fingers. When I glance up, Asher is looking at me with that hungry smile I’ve gotten to know so well.
I flash him a half smile in response.
“Are you going to make me beg?” He says leaning in close.
“It is kind of sexy when you do,” I respond coyly.
“C’mon, you know it’s hard for me to go very long without kissing you. Maybe you should start covering up those lips. They are seriously distracting.” Feeling bold, I run my tongue over my lips, and Asher groans in response. “What are you doing to me?”
I giggle as he bends toward me, grabbing my neck. My giggle is silenced when his lips cover mine. The rest of the world falls away the minute his tongue starts exploring my mouth, and his fingers dance along my neck. I’m usually so cognizant of my surroundings, but for some reason Asher has the ability to make me forget about everything else. All I can focus on is the way his mouth and hands feel. It’s like the rest of the world ceases to exist; like we’ve entered our own alternative universe. I never thought kissing could render me useless like this. It certainly never did with anyone else.
When we part, I take a deep breath and grab onto the bike to hold myself steady. The world seems to spin on its axis, making me momentarily dizzy. I am gripping the helmet so hard in my left hand that it has left a mark on my skin.
“Well, how was the last ride of the summer? Everything you’d hoped it would be?”
I groan. “Ugh. I can’t believe I have to wait months to ride again. It’s going to be agony.”
“I can think of some ways to ease that agony.” Asher winks, and my stomach flips.
I jump off the bike, flashing him a flirty smile. “You wish.”
“I do wish. You’re right.” He hops off, and grabs me around the waist. “But I also love the chase, so don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere.”
I smile up at him as he wraps me in his arms. “This summer has gone by so fast.”
“I know. Too fast.”
“What’s LA like?” I ask, peering up at him. The sun shines down on us, and I squint against the bright rays.
“Different than here, but it’s great. And there’s a beach close by.”
I press my cheek against his chest and listen to his heartbeat. “Well, you better not meet some hot beach babe.”
Asher laughs, his chest muscles chafing my face. “Seriously. I’m going out with the hottest girl in the entire world. There’s no one else that even holds a candle to you.”
I smile as his hands cup my face, and he forces my head up to look at him. “Seriously, Ives. Never underestimate my feelings for you. This is a forever kind of love. No one can take me away from us.”
“I feel the same way,” I answer him, before planting a kiss on his neck.
“Oh, you’ve got to stop teasing me like that,” he says in a low, throaty growl. “Speaking of which, I think it’s time for you to go shopping and buy new shorts too.”
“What’s wrong with my shorts?” I glance down at my jean shorts and tanned legs.
His fingers reach down and finger the bottom of them. “They’re too short. A girl with legs as sexy as yours needs to keep them covered. I don’t want to have to follow you around the college campus all the time to keep you safe.”
My heart soars at his words. “I can’t even believe I’m going to college.”
“It’s where you belong, Ives. You’re too smart not to go.” He pulls me closer. “Besides, I wasn’t sure I could really leave you anyway.”
“I’m still so shocked. I mean, I didn’t even know my Grandpa had that much money in his savings. And it’s so crazy that he left it to me.”
“Of course he did. He loved you so much. You were like a daughter to him.” Asher grins at me. “Remember that day we were moving his stuff and you overheard us chatting in the family room?”
I nod.
“He was telling me that I better take good care of you, that you were his special girl and that you deserve the best.”
My eyes shine from his words, and my throat burns. “Thank you for telling me that, Asher. It’s like all my dreams are coming true.”
“You’re going to make a great journalist, Ives.”
“I wasn’t talking about that, exactly. I was referring to the fact that I get to be with you.”
“Being with me is your dream come true?” Asher cocks an eyebrow. “See, didn’t I say that you always had the hots for me? Why was it so hard to admit?”
I shove him backward in mock indignation. “Whatever.”
“Ooh, nice come back. Wish I’d have come up with that.”
“Shut up.” I swat at him, but he just grabs my arm and yanks me back to him. Only I don’t fight him too hard. I love being in his arms. There’s really nowhere I’d rather be.
“Is that any way to talk to your dream come true?”
I nestle into him. “I know you’re just being sarcastic, but you are my dream come true, Asher. Just don’t let it get to your head.”
“Too late. It already did.” He lowers his lips to my ears. “And you want to know a secret? You’re my dream come true also.”
My heart skips a beat at his words. “Remember that day in my room when you saw the time capsule we made in Mrs. Smith’s class?”
Asher nods, tracing my chin with his finger.
“Well, this is what I wrote.” I reach into the pocket of my shorts and extract the small slip of paper. My fingers tremble, my insides fluttering. This was never something that I thought I would share with anyone else. It’s so personal. Yet, I want to share it with Asher. I never want to keep anything from him. I trust him completely. Holding it out, I allow him to snatch it from my hand.
His gaze connects with it, and he reads it aloud, “To be loved.” He glances up at me. “That’s what you wrote?”
Pressing my lips together, I nod. “That�
��s what I wanted the most out of life.”
“Oh, Ives, I wish I had known you wrote that. I’ve loved you for so long. I should have told you sooner.”
I swallow hard. “Please don’t apologize. I know you love me now, and that means everything. That’s the greatest gift you could ever give me.”
“Well, it’s not the only gift I’m going to give you.” Asher grins mischievously, perking my curiosity.
“What do you mean?”
“I have something for you. I was going to give it to you once we got to LA, but I just can’t wait.” He holds up his index finger. “Wait right here. I’ll be back.” With a broad smile on his face he races toward his house.
I lean against his bike and stare out at the street. The neighborhood is quiet with only the occasional passing car. Out of the corner of my eye I see a figure emerging from the house next door. When I turn in that direction, I catch sight of Cole making his way toward his car parked along the curb.
“Hey, Ivy,” he calls with a slight wave of his hand.
“Hey, Cole,” I respond, waving back.
He slips into his car. I watch him pull away from the curb and glide down the street. We’re still not exactly friends, but he seems to have finally accepted my relationship with Asher. I guess that’s what most people are doing. I’m not sure Asher’s family will ever truly accept me, but for now they’re being cordial and seem to have resigned themselves to the fact that Asher and I are going to be together. I hope one day I will be close to them. I know that in order to do that I’ll have to tell them my story. Asher understands that I need time before I can trust them with it, and I love him for being so patient. But I owe it to him to come clean someday. Besides, if I want to have a future with Asher, it’s imperative that I gain the approval of his Mom and Dad.
“Okay, close your eyes and turn around,” Asher’s voice startles me. I had been so engrossed in my own thoughts I hadn’t even heard him walk up. I close my eyes tightly and stand still. I hear his feet move around me. “You can open them now.”
