“I will not hurt you. I am here to help you.”
“Who are you?” I ask. This has to be real right? Surely I’m not this crazy. Right?
“My name is Kasabian Narayama, but you can call me Kas. I am the Alpha of the Hunter pack. I heard your plea for help and so I am here.”
***
I’m stiff all over. I open my eyes slowly and take in my surroundings. I’m still in the room Liv left me in, tucked into myself against the wall. What a way to fall asleep. I stretch out before my dream comes back to me and I’m filled with sadness. I don’t dare hope it was real. Hope is dangerous, but seeing Rose helped me remember myself a little. I’m not some helpless little girl; I got us out of a situation just like this once before already. There’s no reason I can’t save myself. I stand up and look around the room, spotting a tray of food on the dresser across the room. I look around but there’s definitely no-one else in here with me. “You should eat. We need the strength.” I look around searching for the source of the voice, before I realize it’s the same voice I heard before – the one inside my own head.
“Who are you?” I ask.
“I am you – kind of. My name is Aeveen, and we are one. Or at least, we were meant to be. I’ve been here forever, watching you, learning, listening.”
“Okay… so that’s more than a little creepy – and it makes no sense.”
“I’m the other part of you, Addie. Now eat. Please”
I’ve officially lost my mind, but whoever she is, she’s right, I do need to eat. My stomach rumbles and it hurts. I can’t remember the last time I ate. I move slowly towards the dresser so as not to alert anyone who might be outside that I’m awake. My mouth waters when I see the cheeseburger along with some fries. Popping one into my mouth, I relish the sensations – so salty and still warm! I groan with satisfaction before picking up the burger and taking a bite. I scoff it down, feeling sick afterwards, but it was so worth it!
“That was probably a bad idea. You know that, right?” the voice says.
Now even the voice in my head judges me. Screw it, I love cheese burgers. I pace back and forth in the room, trying to burn off the nervous energy I feel coursing through me. This might be a nicer cage, but it’s still a cage.
I spin as the door opens and Liv walks in, staring at me as if I were some kind of wild animal.
“Get your shit together, Addie. I’ve got to take you back.”
“Back? Home?” I ask, the hope so heavy it crushes me. Her harsh laugh brings me hurtling back down to reality.
“Oh please, this isn’t like when you were with Kaden, Addie. Cole is the real deal. He wants you, I have no idea why, but he’s fixated on you.”
“That’s probably because I’m his daughter,” I say, trying to throw her. The shock on her face informs me I have succeeded. She attempts to hides it, her mask flicks back quickly.
“Yes, I suppose that could be why. Anyway, you’re going back downstairs as per Daddy Dearest’s orders.”
I step back from her, shaking my head. “I’m not going back down to that hell hole, Liv.”
“You don’t have a choice, Addie; I don’t want to hurt you. I’m just following orders.”
I laugh at her. “As if I’m going to believe that. Like I’d ever believe a word you say again. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice… yeah not going to happen.”
“Don’t make me force you, Addie. I’d really rather not hurt you. Pick your battles. You’re going to need your strength."
XANDER
The waiting is torture. I can do nothing but sit here and wait for Rose to wake up. When she came back last time, she pleaded with me to do something more to find Addie. She told me everything Addie had said to her, and every word was like a knife, cutting me deep. I can’t even imagine what she’s going through. Having Livvy betray her like that after just discovering she was alive again, finding out Logan is alive, that Cole is her father. The fallout from that little tid bit was just another small echo of the chaos we’re all dealing with, I think with everything else going on, it almost seemed insignificant at this point. All of this alone would be enough to handle, but knowing what she’s endured since they took her. That was two days ago, and now I’m waiting again, for even the smallest sign that she’s still alive, that she’s okay.
What makes it all worse is they took her on the day I left. They were waiting for me to leave. They didn’t even give me a chance to protect her. I need to make it up to her. I need HER. I punch the stone wall and pieces shower around me, the edge to my frustration has barely gone. Dimitri watches me from the other side of the room with no judgement. I know he feels the same way I do in this moment. I’m walking a dangerous line right now. I need to feed, but I can’t, not until I know she’s okay.
Benny is stood like a sentry at the end of Rose’s bed, the tension in the room is palpable. Rose wanted to try to reach Addie again tonight in hopes of reasoning with her, trying to persuade her that Cole is messing with her mind. I hear a gasp and turn to see Rose awake and in Benny’s arms, sobbing.
“Oh, Benny, it’s so horrible. What they’re doing to her. I can’t even….” She pauses, trying to catch her breath. “I could feel it. Every single bit of her pain, her subconscious was so riddled with it. She’s so broken, I could barely break free,” she cries.
“What do you mean? What changed?” I shout, startling her, the anger and bloodlust starting to loosen my control.
“They’re torturing her, Xander,” she cries. “I only managed to get through because she passed out from the pain. I didn’t get to speak to her, I could only sift through bits of her memories, and feel her emotions. The despair took my breath away, but the pain, it was soul shattering. They’re breaking her, and I have no idea why. All I got from her memory was that she had disappointed Cole, and this was her punishment. We have to find her, Xander and quickly, otherwise we’re going to lose her.”
Her warning takes my breath away and for a minute, I think I’m going to crumble. Then my anger takes control of my body. I clench my fists so hard that I feel my bones creak under the pressure. I need to get out of here and hit something. Hit someone. I rip open the door and head towards the gym. It’s been years since I’ve been here but I trained here, and nothing much has changed.
There are a few people in the gym already. Guards doing their daily training, some Fae just working out because they want to. I head straight for the empty punch bag. I don’t bother to wrap my hands; I need to feel this. I hit the bag again and again, feeling the leather crack under my fists, feeling the skin on my knuckles break and split before it heals almost instantly. The rhythm becomes hypnotic and soothing as I beat out my frustration, the feeling of helplessness subsiding slightly as the numbness takes over for a while.
I have no idea how long it has taken before the bag finally gives way and splits. I lift my top and wipe the sweat from my face before looking around the room and realizing I’m now alone. This helped for a while, but it all comes crashing back as soon as I stop punching. The need for her. The guilt. My failure. The surge of anger rises in me again, threatening to overwhelm me. I need to feed. I grab a quick shower before I head back upstairs to face Dimitri and Rose. I have failed them, too.
I hesitate outside of the door. I can’t fail them again, and I won’t. Too many people in my past have been hurt because of me – because I wasn’t enough. I will save Addie, even if it means sacrificing myself.
Pushing the door open, I’m met by sullen faces. Whatever they were discussing before I entered the room ceases.
“What?” I ask.
“We need help, Xander,” Dimitri says from his corner. His anger is concealed just under the surface. “You’re not going to like it, but we need Kaden.”
“He’s right, Xander. Addie told me Kaden and Cole had a disagreement, that’s why Kaden let us go. He might know where Cole is, and he genuinely seemed to like Addie. He has to help us!” she says.
Kaden is the last person i
n the world I want to go to for help, but their reasoning is sound. I have no reason not to do it – other than that feeling in my gut that he’s going to betray us. He can’t be trusted, but we’ve had no luck in tracing her on our own.
My brother, Kaden, is known for letting people down when it matters most. The conflict between needing to get to Addie and asking Kaden to help me, is stifling. I wrack my brain for another solution. Any other solution. God dammit, they’re right. We need him.
“Bloody hell, I hate that we need to do this.” I say, running my hand through my hair with exasperation. “My brother cannot be trusted, but I don’t see any other option right now.” I turn to Dimitri and sigh. “It looks like we’re going back home.” I can see the thought of having to undergo another Fae transportation so soon has already made him queasy. I turn to Rose and Benny. “Thank you for all of your help, Rose. I can’t express to you how much it means to me,” I say before heading to the door, ready to pack up and get going. I don’t want to waste another minute.
“Oh hell no, Xander Bane! Don’t think for one minute that I’m not coming with you! Addie is my friend, and there is no way on earth you’re leaving me behind!” Rose says fiercely.
It’s strange seeing this side of her, but her loyalty to Addie warms me. She’s going to need friends like that if she’s going to survive. God I miss her.
***
Tracking down my brother was much easier than it should have been. Apparently, when he’s not hiding the woman I love, he doesn’t bother hiding his position. We sent word back to my best trackers, Gunner & Zero, before we prepared to leave the home of the Frosthearts in England with orders to find Kaden, and they found him in just a few days.
Now, I’m stood here with Dimitri trying to convince Rose that she needs to stay safe, and the best way to do that is by staying here.
She’s not happy and she’s full of fight. “If you think for even one second you’re leaving me behind you’re mistaken. There is no way I’m staying here all safe and cosy in this palace whilst my best friend is going through hell. She would risk everything for me – she’s shown that. I’m coming with you and that is the end of it,” she says, standing there looking every bit the royal that she is. It’s that same determination I see in Addie’s eyes. I sigh, knowing I’m not going to win this battle. I look over at Benny who is trying to keep from laughing.
“Fine, but Benny comes!”
That soon stops his laughter. I continue in spite of Rose’s pout. “And he is fully responsible for you. He is your personal guard. We have enough to worry about without worrying about you coming along, too. I assume you have informed your parents?”
She looks at me as if I’ve lost my mind. “Of course I have – they’re fully supportive of my decision. They know how much I love Addie and wouldn’t dream of stopping me,” she says defiantly.
For a rare moment, I’m speechless. Clearly having gone through what Addie and Rose did together, made both Rose stronger than I’d given her credit for – I only hoped Addie’s strength was as fierce now as it was then. “Get your stuff together,” I say, unwilling to openly apologise, but knowing I owed Rose one. “We leave at dawn. We’ve already located Kaden. We’re heading straight to where he is staying. The rest of my Elite will meet us there,” I say to her before turning to Benny. “If you need to bring more guards do it, but do not get in our way.”
He nods before leaving the room with Rose to get ready to leave. I run my hand over my face. What I wouldn’t give to just have Addie back, to have some time without all of this craziness going on around us.
And then there is the knowledge that even when I get her back, I’ll have to take her to Fae court, and her mother, bringing a whole new set of problems. It hardly fills me with joy. There’s little chance that when the truth comes out, our union will even be allowed let alone be blessed. That’s if, after everything Addie has been through, she even wants to be with me.
SIX MONTHS AGO
“Addie, are you nearly ready?” I yell from the lounge. Our new house seems to have grounded Addie, given her a place to anchor herself. She’s never had somewhere to call home, and I love that I can give that to her now. I want to give her the world.
“Sheesh, man I’m coming! What’s the rush? Can’t wait for date night?” she says laughing as she comes halfway down the stairs in nothing but a dressing gown. Her hair and makeup are already done and I’m blown away at how lucky I am.
“You look beautiful, Addie. Maybe we should just stay in?” I say, wiggling my eyebrows at her and making her laugh again. I want to hear that sound forever. I start for her and she squeals before turning and running up the stairs. We both know her evasion is useless. I will always catch her. Always.
I reach her and pick her up, flinging her over my shoulder and she squeals, her protests at being picked up, broken by her uncontrollable giggles. I stride into the bedroom and drop her onto the bed.
“Don’t you dare, Xander Bane. You promised me date night,” she says putting her hands out in front of her. Her gown has opened slightly, and that’s not helping change my mind.
“You’re not really making this easy on me, babe. I mean, look at you. Why would I want to share you with the outside world?”
She blushes as she gathers up her gown. It doesn’t matter how many times I see her, she always blushes, and it makes me want her even more. I stretch my arm out, grabbing onto the top of our bed frame lean over her.
“You look like a sweet little treat just waiting to be unwrapped,” I tease.
“Xander, stop it!” she laughs, embarrassed. “I won’t be long, then we can go out like we planned, and this little treat can be dessert,” she murmurs softly, biting her lip. Dammit. Tonight is going to be one of great restraint.
“You’re lucky I love you,” I say kissing her. She kisses me back with so much passion, it surprises me – just as it always does. She’s so innocent on the surface, but underneath, there’s this rich, intoxicating hint at darkness. Her kiss deepens and I have to force myself back, leaving her breathless. Her quiet pants, mixed with her dark look of lust are close to breaking me. I roll to the side and cover my eyes with my arm.
“Get ready you minx. Later, later you’re mine,” I say laughing throatily.
ADDIE
I’m back in the wretched chair, and I think I’ve finally lost it. Micah has stepped up his sadistic ways since he saw Aeveen. Apparently, he wants to play with her despite their last meeting. His burns have healed, but he’s just crazy enough to want to endure it again.
“I keep telling you, Addie, I’m part of you. I can help you, you just need to let me in,” I hear her inside my head. “It’s easy, Addie, just let me take over again. You just need to let me in. I can get us out of here. I can stop all of this.”
I shake my head as if that will get rid of her.
“I can’t do that! I don’t know how,” I say out loud.
The new guards, stationed at the door, wear their faces blank, but I’m pretty sure everyone here thinks I’ve lost it. When Liv bought me back down here, I was weak. I begged, I cried and I pleaded for her not to put me back here – not with Micah. I was too weak to do anything else.
“You wouldn’t be weak if you’d merge with me, Addie.”
I scream and feel a rush of power. The many torture devices lined on the walls behind me, rattle, and the glass table shatters. I quiet in shock. That wasn’t me right?
“There’s so much we could do together, Addie,” she says. “We will be powerful, and no-one will bend us to their will again. All of this would stop.”
“SHUT UP! Shut up, shut up, shut up!” I shout, hitting my head back against the chair. I need to feel something real.
“You can’t get rid of me, Addie. I am part of you. You will see soon enough, you need me. I have been kept quiet for too long. This is war. The moment to fight is coming and we will be unstoppable.
“It’s a brave new world out there, Addie. We will fight to the
death, but that death will not be ours.”
I drop my head in defeat. She’s wrong. I see no way out of here right now. I’m trying so hard to hold on, to not give up, but with every day that passes, the spark that makes me who I am dims a little more, and she becomes a little louder.
I worry I’m going to lose myself to her – and I know that’s exactly what Cole wants. It’s not me he wants, it’s her. I don’t know exactly why, but I can sense something in her, something dark and powerful. I’m afraid of her, and I’m even more afraid of the idea of her being connected to Cole. It is this – and the thought of Xander – that is keeping me here rather than letting her take over. Whatever pain I have to endure, I know I must endure it. My mind recalls the time she broke through, what she did to Micah, and I know that was nothing compared to her potential. I can feel the power inside me, waiting to be unleashed – and it’s demonic. I know that whoever she is, she is a demon, and I do not want to be a demon.
Micah, aside from being nifty with a torture tool, is also a master of psychological torture. He has taken great delight in telling me between the cuts and the beats that my mother was the whore of a demon, and that is why she hid me from her world. Like all Demons – rejected, until I finally embrace my demon self. They want me to give in to her. Now that I have come of age, she’s ready to form, but I won’t sacrifice my humanity like that. I won’t toss away my capacity to ever love again – to lose the one thing in the world that makes my life worth living, Xander.
“Morning, Sunshine,” Livvy says from the door. By her side is a guilty looking Logan.
“Awesome, just what I need. The welcoming committee back again.”
“Well, that’s just rude,” Liv snarls. “And here was me thinking I’d get you out of that chair, but if you’re happy with Micah…”
“Liv, don’t be a bitch. Get her out of the chair,” Logan says with more bite than I’ve heard from him yet. When she refuses, he snatches the keys from her. Kneeling down he undoes the iron locks around my ankles first, then releases the leather strips on my wrist, gently, making sure not to peel away more of my skin. I bite down on my lip to stop the screams. I am sick of screaming.
Crash (The Immortal Chronicles Book 2) Page 5
