by Lily Love
It had never been so simple with Hunter, but with Craig? Jack pictured their life together without difficulty.
It was a pipe dream, though. Craig would turn him down and stay in Los Angeles. Moving across the coast with a newborn was too stressful.
Jack closed his eyes and tried to still his thoughts.
If nothing else, thoughts like those made pretty dreams.
9
Craig
Parental kidnapping. Craig scrolled through a few articles uneasily as he supervised Isaac as he swung. The gentle click of the cradle as it moved back and forth provided excellent white noise. As long as it kept Isaac asleep, Craig wasn’t complaining.
North Carolina was on Craig’s mind.
The voicemails from Craig’s parents bordered on obsessive, and late the night before, Craig had heard the scrape of a key in the lock of his front door. He’d had the locks replaced and the key didn’t fit, but it had put him on high alert.
Los Angeles wasn’t safe for his son. Not for the moment. Craig needed to find somewhere else to go, and North Carolina haunted him. Or, if he was being truthful, Jack did.
The easy days he’d spent at Jack’s place while he was in town for the wedding were some of the best of Craig’s life, and he found he wanted to get back to that. Not only would the quiet be good for Isaac, it would be good for Craig as well. But Craig knew that when it came to split custody, it wasn’t as simple as loading Isaac up and taking him across state lines. Craig didn’t want to do anything that would put him in legal trouble.
According to the internet, since Synthia hadn’t filed for custody or otherwise made any arrangements with him, he was free to travel with Isaac wherever he wanted.
To double check, Craig got in touch with a lawyer. As he called, he rocked Isaac’s cradle with his foot.
There was a fresh start waiting for him if he was bold enough to go for it.
“Black & Howell Law Offices. This is Jenna speaking. How may I be of service?”
“Hi, Jenna.” Craig kept his gaze on Isaac during the conversation. Isaac’s chubby cheeks were red. “My name is Craig Palmer. I need legal counsel about a potential custody issue, namely parental kidnapping. Is there anyone I can speak to?”
“Of course, Mr. Palmer. Let me transfer you.”
Craig smiled. He refused to let anything get in his way.
For Isaac, he was bold.
The FAA-approved car seat was verified by the flight attendant, and she helped Craig strap it in to the seat next to his. He’d bought Isaac his own ticket. Money wasn’t an issue, and with a child so young, Craig would rather pay the expense than risk the complication. The flight was long and Isaac was going to need his near constant attention. Between feedings and diaper changes there was a lot to worry about.
Not to mention ear pain. Craig wasn’t exactly looking forward to that.
Craig’s flights were miraculously on time, and to his great surprise, Isaac didn’t seem all that bothered by the change in air pressure. Isaac slept the majority of the way through the first flight, and Craig right along with him. Taking care of a baby was exhausting. Craig hadn’t realized just how exhausting it was until he was in the thick of it, but he wouldn’t trade it for anything.
When Isaac smiled at him it made the exhaustion worth it.
The transfer was a little rockier. Craig took advantage of the airport bathroom to change Isaac and freshen him up during their layover. The lack of changing stations in men’s bathrooms irked him to no end, and he ended up crafting a makeshift station out of paper towels, his carry-on bag, and a silent prayer that Isaac wouldn’t be fussy.
The second flight was substantially shorter than the first, but by the time they touched ground in Fayetteville, Craig was finished with flying. He was glad that Jack was willing to host him for a few months because there was no way he was getting back on another plane while pulling dad duty any time soon.
Once they’d deplaned and Craig was in the airport terminal, Craig called Jack as he waited by baggage claim.
“Hey,” Jack said when the call connected. “You here?”
“We’re here,” Craig replied. “Isaac and I are waiting by the baggage claim, but once I grab our luggage I’ll be ready to go. Are you waiting in the parking lot?”
“Nope.” Jack’s voice didn’t come through the phone, but from right behind Craig’s ear. Craig almost yelped. He turned to find Jack standing there, a satisfied grin on his face. “I figured you could use a hand with all your luggage so I parked and came in to find you. Good thing I did. You look like you’re about to backpack through Europe… badly.”
Craig laughed. He had an overstuffed diaper bag slung from one shoulder, an additional bulky carry-on backpack slung from his back. Tucked against his side was a laptop case with his laptop and its accessories inside, and then of course there was Isaac and his car seat. With two checked suitcases on top of that, Craig was grateful for the help.
“Next time you decide to bring all your worldly possessions with you, maybe you should look into one of those upright backpacks,” Jack said, poking fun in Craig’s direction. The criticism didn’t sting like it should have. Craig snorted.
It was good to be back.
“So,” Jack said. “Lemme meet the little guy. How did he take the trip up?”
“He was really good about it. I was worried about his ears, but he slept almost the entire time.”
Jack squatted in front of the car seat. His smile was placid. Craig watched, his heart warming. Since he’d been to pick up Isaac from Nadine, he hadn’t brought Isaac around other people. To see someone — especially someone he knew — looking at Isaac like the treasure he was filled Craig’s chest with joy and left him feeling limitless.
It was a simple pleasure, but it was a good one.
“Hey, Isaac,” Jack said. He reached out and stroked Isaac’s head with a single finger. “Nice to meet you. I bet you’re just about ready to get home, right?”
Craig’s luggage arrived on the conveyor belt, but he was hesitant to reach for it only because he didn’t want to stop watching Jack and Isaac. The fluttering in his chest and stomach was addictive. At last he brought himself to look away and grab the bags. When he looked back, Jack had risen and was dusting off his thighs.
“He’s stinking cute,” Jack said. There was a gleam in his eyes that bordered on something more than playful. “He’s got good genes, that one.”
“Thanks.” Craig scratched at the back of his head, flattered in the strangest way. Seeing Jack again was even better than he imagined it would be. Without a grainy video feed, Jack looked good.
Jack’s brown hair was kept only long enough that he could style it. Craig thought it was a very professional, but young-looking haircut. His hazel eyes lit up from the inside, like there was so much joy in his soul he couldn’t contain it all. He was dressed in a casual graphic t-shirt well fitted to his body and blue jeans that sat nicely on his hips. The fashion was relaxed, but Craig still found elements of style in it.
It was a far cry from the formal wear the Hawthorn side of Craig’s family demanded he wear at all times. Craig had almost forgotten what it was like to wear a t-shirt.
North Carolina was going to be the spiritual recharge he needed before he headed back to deal with the bullshit in LA.
“Do you want me to take your bulky carry-ons or your check-in luggage?” Jack asked easily.
“Check-in, if that’s okay.”
“Of course it is. I asked, didn’t I?” Jack stacked the luggage just as Craig had done back at LAX. When Jack was ready, Craig took hold of Isaac’s car seat and followed Jack to the parking lot.
“Did you sleep on the way over?” Jack asked. It was late.
“Yeah. Isaac and I both got some good shuteye. It’s exhausting to travel with a baby.”
“But here you are.” Jack opened the back door of his car. Craig inspected the seatbelts, then put Isaac’s car seat down and started to strap it in. “I hop
e it’s going to be worth it.”
“It already is worth it.” Craig tested the straps and the carrier to make sure they were secured, then righted his posture and looked at Jack. “As soon as I stepped foot on the plane I knew it was going to be worth it. All of the stress just came right off. I feel like a snake who shed its skin.”
“Hmm. Well.” Jack popped the trunk and hoisted Craig’s bags into it. “Keep on slithering I guess.”
Craig snickered. Talking with Jack in person was just as easy and carefree as it was talking to him through texts. He was blessed to have found someone he got along with so well — and even more blessed that Jack considered him a friend, too.
Craig shed his bags and placed them beside his check-in luggage, then rolled his shoulders back in a bid to relax his tense muscles. Hauling around all of Isaac’s things did a number on him.
“You ready to go?” Jack asked.
“Definitely. It sounds stupid because I’ve been flying for the last eight hours, but I can’t wait to sit down and relax.”
“Not stupid at all. It’s a totally different thing to be crammed in an airplane with an infant than it is to relax in a private car. Wait until you get to bed.”
“God. Bed.” Craig couldn’t wait. “I hope he sleeps tonight. I need the rest.”
“If you want I can look after him,” Jack said easily. They walked to their respective sides of the car and got in. “I’m used to taking care of babies. My sister and her husband have been busy.”
“Oh?” Craig grinned. He strapped himself in. “I didn’t know you had a sister. How many kids does she have?”
“Three,” Jack said. “Four, three, and almost one. I don’t know how she finds time to keep popping them out, or how she has the energy to wrangle that many kids under five.” Jack started the engine. “So, needless to say, I’ve changed a lot of diapers. I’m pretty much a dad without any of the benefits.”
Craig choked back a laugh — he didn’t want to wake Isaac. So far Isaac had been good about sleeping through noises, but Craig didn’t want to push his luck. “Poor you.”
“They’re cute, though.” Jack shrugged. “I guess it’s not all that bad. I get to live vicariously through her without, you know, being kept up all hours of the night, every night. I only get called in to take over when she needs some time away.”
Craig had no clue. As Jack backed the car out of their spot and navigated toward the parking lot exit, Craig looked him over with newfound appreciation. Maybe coming to North Carolina would be good in a way he’d never anticipated. He could learn how to be a dad while Jack looked over his shoulder and pointed him in the right direction.
“Sounds like an okay deal.”
“Yeah. And they’re sweet, even if they drive me crazy.” They exited the airport and turned onto the road. It was too late to appreciate the sights, so Jack let himself zone out as he listened to Jack speak. “I’m kind of on the fence about having a family, you know?”
“I was, too, until I found out Isaac existed,” Craig said. “Now I can’t imagine anything different. He became my everything from the first second that I saw him. It’s not for everyone, but… I think it’s for me.”
“You’re lucky, then,” Jack said. “If I want to have a kid, it’s not going to be that easy.”
“Why?” Craig looked in Jack’s direction.
Jack shot him a playful look from the corner of his eye. “Because I’m gay. It’s not like I can knock my boyfriend up.”
Boyfriend? Craig sat up a little straighter, shaking some of his drowsiness. He hadn’t realized that Jack was in a relationship.
A flighty feeling itched behind his ribs. Craig didn’t think he was homophobic, but thinking about Jack with another man made him feel ill.
“You have a boyfriend?” Craig asked.
“Oh. Not now.” Jack set his eyes back on the road. “My ex and I had a long on-again, off-again relationship, but I ended things with him for good well before Lane and Roman got married. It wasn’t a good relationship to start off with.”
“Oh. Okay.” A hypothetical boyfriend wasn’t half as bad. Craig settled back down. “So you’re single right now?”
“That’s what no boyfriend means,” Jack said with a soft laugh. “I think I’m going to be single for a while. There isn’t exactly a huge dating pool in Dekalb. Besides, everyone says that being single for a while is good for you. Figured I might as well give it a shot. Now that you and Cecilia have officially broken up, you’re single, too, right?”
“Yeah.” Craig blinked. It was strange to think about. He’d spent his whole life bouncing from one girl to the next, never happy unless he was in a relationship. Now that he had Isaac, dating hadn’t even crossed his mind. Living for a while with Jack was all he needed. “I’m single.”
“A couple of bachelors and a baby. What could go wrong?” Jack chuckled. “I have a feeling this is going to be a good time.”
“Me too,” Craig said. He looked Jack over one last time, a distant longing in his heart, then looked out the window. It had been a long day and he was worked up over nothing. Once he got settled, all of the troubling things he felt for Jack would subside. After all, Jack was just a friend. There was nothing more between them than that.
10
Craig
Craig set up Jack’s sister’s cradle in the living room, and as he and Jack reclined on the couch and watched the kickoff of the new NFL season. Craig had one leg extended so his foot rested against the cradle. He kept it rocking. Isaac was adjusting well to his new home, but Craig knew that if he wanted to keep Isaac settled, letting him swing was a good idea.
“You know, I think there must be electric cradles,” Jack said. “If you want, we can go out and get one. It must not be comfortable to have to rock it yourself.”
“It’s fine,” Craig said. “I had an automatic one back in Los Angeles and I ended up swinging it by myself most times, anyway. I think Isaac likes it better.”
“Your call.” Jack popped the top of his beer and swung it back. Craig wasn’t drinking. “You want to head out a little later today for some groceries or something?”
“No. I mean, you can. I’ll pitch in with some money if you want to do that. It’s just… I don’t want to go out with Isaac. I’m still not used to bringing him around and it feels like too much work.”
“With two of us it’ll be fine,” Jack said. “I think it’ll be good for you.”
“Why?” Craig asked.
“Well… when you go back to Los Angeles, you’re going to have to go out with him sometime. You might as well get used to it now when you still have support, right? It’s going to be a hell of a lot harder to take him out solo. You should get it down to a science before you go back home.”
Craig saw the logic in what Jack said. He also saw the problem. Going out meant facing the world, and right now all Craig wanted to do was hide away and settle into life before he complicated it any further. Once he was used to having Isaac around the house, then he’d tackle bringing him outside. Craig didn’t want to overwhelm himself.
“I’m not ready yet,” Craig said. “Maybe next week?”
“Yeah, next week works.” Jack put his beer on the side table. “We should have a barbecue and invite the guys over. I’m sure they’d love to meet Isaac. Lane is going to flip. We can plan a grocery run around it, stock up on essentials.”
Craig knew what Jack meant when he said ‘the guys’. He was talking about the men who lived in the Blackwood apartments — Roman included. Craig had done his best to patch things up with Roman over the last few months, but their relationship was far from perfect. He had a lot more to worry about now that he had Isaac than a strained encounter with his cousin.
“Yeah,” Craig said hesitantly. “Sure.”
There was a knock at the door. Craig glanced toward it. From where he sat, he was only partially concealed from the door.
Jack got up to answer it.
“Hey,” Jack said. Crai
g couldn’t see him, but he heard the conversation clearly.
“Hey.” It was Roman. Craig froze. His leg hung suspended in the air as the cradle rested against the sole of his bare foot. He was still in his pajamas. “You still got that Dremel set I lent you a couple weeks back?”
“Oh. Yeah. Of course I do. You need it back?”
“Yup.”
Isaac stirred. The motion snagged the corner of Craig’s eye and he realized that he’d stopped rocking the cradle. Awoken, Isaac started to cry.
Just my luck…
“You babysitting for your sister again?” Roman asked. “Don’t tell me she had another one.”
“Nope. I’ve got a different tyke to care for this time around.” There were twin footsteps approaching. Roman was coming in. “Roman, meet your first cousin once removed, Isaac.”
Roman stood in the living room. His eyes locked with Craig’s. Craig was still sprawled out across the couch, his foot resting on the cradle as Isaac cried.
“What the hell is going on here?” Roman asked, aghast. “Craig?”
“It’s nice to see you, too,” Craig said. He tried to keep the venom from his voice. He was working hard to repair his shattered relationship with Roman, but the truth was that he still had a lot of hard feelings toward Roman. There was a lot of hostility between them that Craig wasn’t completely over.
All his life he’d been made to feel inferior to Roman. Roman, the black sheep of the Hawthorn family, the only one bold enough to break free from all the vitriol, was also the one they held up as their golden child. Courageous enough to be a SEAL, brave enough to come out as bisexual, and fearless enough to marry a man despite what anyone thought.
From the time they were children, Craig’s mother had pitted him against Roman. She’d never let him feel good enough because Roman was always doing something different, better, or more outstanding.
