by Jill Cooper
Dirk leaned on the hood of the van with one arm, the muscles tensing and rippling through his taught, tight skin. His face was drawn together angry. “And I’d like to know when the shit hits the fan that you’re going to have my back and not collapse like a heap on the floor. If you’re sick, if something’s the matter, I have a right to know. Not just as a husband, but as your partner in the field. You get me, Morgan?”
Jenna nodded slowly, trying to swallow the thick spit in the back of her throat, but she was afraid she might puke it all over Dirk. “I’m not sick.”
“Then what is it? Something’s been wrong. But you won’t tell me. I have a right to know what’s going on.”
“I’m pregnant.” The word’s tumbled out of her mouth before she meant them to and as soon as they were out, Jenna wished she could take them back. Dirk’s face was crestfallen at the same moment she saw joy light up his eyes like an over lit Christmas tree. “So yeah, I’m bloated, my stomach is sick and stretching in uncomfortable ways you’ll never understand. And oh, my glistening symptoms are acting up in ways they never have before. But yeah, I’m fine. Only thing I can think of is the mission. So if you could get your ass in the car and drive…”
She thought she might go on forever if Dirk hadn’t grabbed arms and squatted down low to look in her eyes. “Jesus Jenn, why didn’t you tell me? When did you find out?”
“The day we left for our second to final last mission.” Jenna swallowed and tears filled her eyes. “I was trying to process. Trying to decide what I wanted to do.”
“What you wanted to do?” Dirk’s face clouded with confusion. “What, you don’t want it? Seeing you with Travis, I thought maybe one day--.”
“Maybe one day is here, Dirk. It’s here and I’m not ready. I nearly died.” Jenna closed her eyes. “Travis needs me. You. I’m not ready to check out on a maybe one day.” She turned and headed toward the passenger side of the van.
“Wait a second, Jenn.” Dirk charged after her, grabbed her by her elbows and spun her around. She pivoted on her heels right into his arms. He took the phrase sweeping off your feet to literal proportions.
“I love you.” Dirk said. “I love you and all the baggage, all the hardship crap that comes with that. But what I don’t love is how you push me away. This should be our decision. Ours.”
“It’s my body.” Jenna said through a clenched jaw. “I’m the one that can feel it growing. Becoming a person. I will love it. Feel it move and it might not survive. You think I want to go through that?”
“No.” Dirk whispered. “And I don’t want to go through that alone because I can tell, that no matter what you decide, you already love it.”
She wasn’t sure if she ever hated him more than she did in that moment. Jenna made a fist and smashed it against his chest. “Damn you, Dirk. Damn you for saying that.”
“Why, you don’t want to hear the truth? You don’t want to feel it? Well there it is, Jenn. We can’t run from it.”
“You’re telling me.” Her eyes flashed with contempt. “It’s a bunch of cells and I am broken up inside thinking of destroying them more than I did five hundred thinking, breathing glistenings.” Jenna shook her head. “If they find out…we could be the ones wearing those damn harnesses. And our baby…”
There it was. She said it. A baby. For the first damn time Dirk made her think of it as something other than a bunch of cells. A blood clot. If something happened, if she was forced to kill it or watch it die, Jenna swore she would never forgive him.
Never.
“They’re not going to find out. We’re going to keep our head down low and complete the mission. Then we’ll get out of here.” Dirk took her hands and kissed them. “Your mother can help us, if we decide to keep it.”
“Pretty sure that decision has already been made.” Jenna said and clicked her tongue along the roof of her mouth. “I think I made it the moment that stupid stick turned pink.”
“That’s why you didn’t want to tell me.” Dirk said. “You knew you were keeping it the entire time.”
“Yeah thanks for stating the obvious.” Jenna’s face softened and she leaned on to kiss his cheek. “Thanks, jack ass. I owe you one.”
Dirk grinned, despite the circumstances.
“If you keep this up, we’re going to have to get your tubes cut.”
His eyes grew wide and he shook his head. “No, no no. My fellas must swim upstream. You can’t interrupt the fellas! They’d be so sad.”
Jenna laughed as she slipped into the van. Dirk secured her door before getting in and starting the engine. It purred to life and he shot his attention over to his wife. “What are we going to do about Jake?”
She didn’t know. She hadn’t decided.
Yet.
****
Seers Estate
Alexandria, Virginia
As much as Jenna didn’t want to face the truth about what was going on with her body, telling Dirk lifted a weight off her shoulders. It didn’t hurt that at every rest stop he provided her with comfort food, juices and milk either. There was nothing more a girl liked than some pampering. Now if they could get through the mission and get a full body massage that would have been perfect.
Jenna scrolled through on her phone while her gums worked over some crackers. “The detail is almost exactly as we asked. I guess we can say thank you for some miracles. Spector keeps promises.”
“He doesn’t want this to go to hell. The best thing that could happen to New Haven is Jake is captured, reconditioned and recants everything.” Dirk said the words, but Jenna heard the regret in his voice. They both had a soft spot for Jake; how could they not?
Jenna cocked an eyebrow. “You’re supposed to be trying to keep me relaxed and happy.”
“Sorry.” Dirk muttered and pulled the van into the Seers driveway, but it was more like a gated community with perfect manicured lawns on either side. There were perfect rolls of tulips lining beneath the trees like they were little soldiers saluting to attention. In front of the main brick house was a water fountain.
They parked the van by the front door and strolled up to the ironwork French doors. “I guess we should ring the bell.” Dirk said. “I feel like we should be making an offering.”
“Or we can just do this.” Jenna pushed both of the doors open and strolled inside. “Seers, where you hiding?” She winked at an exasperated Dirk as they stepped inside the foyer with its delicate balance of chandeliers and woven bamboo area rugs. It was elegant and rustic. The type of place Jenna might appreciate if she was an uptight broad.
Glancing up the stairs she saw Rebecca in her gray pinned suit coming down the stairs flanked on either side by New Haven guards. Her face was more angular than usual thanks to her pinched lips and the tightness of her hair bun.
“Thanks for being on time.” Rebecca offered Jenna her hand and Jenna accepted just to avoid any complications.
“I take my job seriously, which I’m sure you don’t need reminding of.”
Rebecca held up her hands. “I’ve had enough surprises this week, trust me. I’m sure we’re on the same page? That you are going to make sure Jake is safe? No funny business out there?”
Jenna crossed her arms. “I’m pretty sure we’ve never been on the same page about anything. I’m an odd number girl and you’re more of an even. But this time, like I said, I take my job seriously. And right now my job means keeping Jake safe. I don’t want a war. He’ll get to Congress and he’ll say what he has to. Not like it’s going to do a lick of difference.”
Rebecca held a breath and then let it out with an unsteady tempo that made her nostrils flair. “You can’t know that.”
Jenna rolled her eyes. “Please. Even you can’t be self-deluded enough to think Jake has a chance of changing anyone’s minds.”
“Maybe we should save this for Meet the Press.” Dirk massaged Jenna’s shoulders. “Just this once, what do you think?”
“Yeah.” Jenna muttered. “I guess so.”
/>
Outside she heard the crumbling of stone and the cracking of the pavement. The color drained out of Rebecca’s face and her expression crumbled. “He’s here.”
For someone who loved glistenings, why did they to scare her so much?
Chapter Thirteen Jake
Jake wasn’t sure how he would feel about seeing Jenna again, but when he saw her again his heart compressed and pounded. His mind went back to the moment on the mountain when she did everything but bow at his feet to worship him. And then to the moment when they met in secret and Jenna told him about Wendy. About what her plans were to keep his son safe all in the name of honoring a promise she made to Wendy’s dad long ago.
Jake didn’t see much goodness in humans, but he knew what Jenna was doing was good. Except she blew up five hundred of his kind. That soured him. Angered him. But he had to find a way to get past it.
He extended his hand to her. “Ms. Morgan.”
Jenna nodded and there was a glint in her eye he couldn’t remember seeing before. “Mr. Monroe. Thanks for requesting me.”
“You’re the only human that I trust.” Jake’s eyes trained on Rebecca making her way down the steps with two guards flanking her. His jaw tensed. “Is she coming with us?”
“Not in the same car if you don’t want her to. I know she can’t be your favorite person.”
“She let Wendy get killed. She promised us the world.”
“I know.” Jenna whispered. “She was naïve. Innocent. I saw that the few minutes I was with her.”
Jake waved his hand to interrupt her. He didn’t want to talk about Wendy. Didn’t want to talk about any of it. “One deranged hit man and a sociopath nurse ruined all that, didn’t it?” The words tasted sour, but they were the truth.
Jenna opened her mouth to speak, but when Rebecca stepped up, she clamped it shut. She threw Rebecca a glare from the corner of her eye. “You might need to get these stone slates redone.”
“Sorry.” Jake said, but didn’t feel sorry. Didn’t sound it either.
“It’s fine.” Rebecca gulped. “It’s good to see you again, Jake.”
“Let’s just get going.”
Rebecca cleared her throat, the guilt clear on her face. “Traffic can be bad this time of day, so that’s probably a good idea.” She moved toward the car, but Jenna stuck her arm out to stop her.
Her eyes narrowed into slits. “You can come in the car behind.”
Rebecca’s cheeks reddened. “I think it would be better if we went together. We should talk. Discuss things.” Her voice dropped sweetly. “Jake…”
“I rather you not.” Jake said.
She delicately put a hand on his shoulder. “I know things are rough between us, but--.”
Jake barely held onto control. “I said,” the words came out heated, and his fists coiled at his side. He took a deep breath to regulate his breathing and his anger threatened to surge out of control. It felt like a caged animal inside a straw prison; it wasn’t going to hold forever.
“I said no.” Jake said with finality.
The senator stifled a sigh and came out like a cough lodged in her throat. Her hand fell away from the backseat handle. Silently she moved back to another car.
Jake threw a glance Rebecca’s way as she stepped into the back of a car. “Thanks.” He said to Jenna. “For siding with me on that.”
“She’s no friend of mine.” Jenna said in a quiet, compassionate voice. “You know if I could change all of it…”
“I know.” Jake pressed his lips together. “I know and it makes a difference that you want to.” He took a deep labored breath. “Let’s get out of here.”
****
Jake was silent through the drive to the capital and Jenna had to wonder what he was thinking about. Was he impressed with the big buildings and structures that ran the US government? Was he thinking about how the walls he was about to step into were going to decide his future and his followers?
Or was he simply thinking what a mistake he made by letting Jenna raise his son?
It made her so nervous she barely noticed the cramping in her stomach until she groaned, clutching it and leaned forward.
Dirk did a double take. “Are you all right?”
“Yeah.” Jenna huffed and reached into her pocket for one of her pills. The supply she had taken on the road was dwindling. She needed to return home soon to pick up more.
She stuck the pill under her tongue and leaned her head back, closing her eyes. For a moment it felt like her skin might shimmer again, but everything was under control. Jenna took a deep breath, realizing she hadn’t even told Dirk about her episodes yet. Hopefully she wouldn’t have to. Jenna didn’t really want to admit to keeping more secrets, but it seemed where there was one…
“You sure you’re okay?” Jake asked from the back. The first thing he said since leaving Rebecca’s.
Jenna opened her eyes and leaned her head back to catch an upside down view of him. “I’ll be just fine. Sitting in cars too long.”
“I know what you mean. If I didn’t think it’d make a scene, I’d fly into Congress.”
“Now I think I’d pay to see that.”
“Stay alert.” Dirk was all business.
Out the windshield Jenna saw the capitol building coming into view. “Here we go.” She muttered and touched her ear. “Johnson? Montgomery? What’s the sich?”
Static made way for confirmation. “We’re clearing the back entrance. Circle and give us five.”
Dirk nodded as he heard the order. He pulled the car from the curb to merge with traffic, slowly picking up speed to keep up with the flow.
Jenna turned her body and leaned backward to address Jake. His eyes were nervous and she wasn’t surprised. “When we are given the clear we’re going to go in through the back. Dirk and I will flank you, but you’ll be fine. There are officers securing the perimeter.”
“New Haven officers, you mean? Ones that want to capture and imprison me.”
“They’re just doing their job.” Jenna said softly. “It’s not their fault there was a war between us. It’s not their fault glistenings came into existence and fed off us, treating us like livestock.”
Jake’s eyes raged with fire. “And how long will we have to suffer for the crimes of glistenings that are long dead? How long is long enough?”
Jenna swallowed hard. “I don’t want to fight with you, Jake.”
“I know.” His voice softened and his shoulders rounded. A moment ago he was a born leader, a strong wise man that Jenna readily would have followed if given half the chance. Now he was a teen boy again and she fought a strong impulse to protect him. “How is he?”
Travis. Her stomach rolled at the lost expression on Jake’s face. “Good. Doing all the things a baby should do. Taking his first steps, learning to talk. Loves that blue stuffed monster you sent.”
The corners of Jake’s mouth came up in a wry smile. “How’d you know it was me?”
“Who else would it be?” Jenna teased. “Plus the monster was a nice touch.”
“Thank you.” Jake said. “For taking such good care of him.”
“Thank you for letting me.” Jenna squeezed his hand. “And I’m sorry too. About the glistenings.” She swallowed. “About the ones who attacked the caravan.”
Jake squeezed his eyes shut. “Jenna…”
She rushed on. “I couldn’t let more escape. Five hundred more on the loose was something the public didn’t need to hear, it was bad enough there was an assault. You think the Senate was angry before? They are just looking for a reason to shut the program down.”
“So to keep New Haven alive then?”
“No,” Jenna said bitterly. “To keep glistenings alive. Without the project, you all are headed to the gas chamber. And one day when Travis is old enough to understand all this, I want to look him in the face and tell him I did what I had to. Maybe some of the choices were rocky, but I did what I had to to keep the glistenings alive.”
Jake shook his head. “There had to be another way.”
“For you.” Jenna said bitterly. “But we were being attacked by fire breathing dragons so excuse me if we didn’t have time to come up with a plan that would save everyone’s life. What’s done is done, Jake. I just hope one day you can forgive me.”
She faced forward. Rarely did Jenna ask for forgiveness. Life was what it was, her choices her mistakes stood on their own. But looking at Jake and seeing the disapproval in his eyes, well Jenna wanted nothing more than to be accepted by him.
Damn it, Jenna thought. It was like slowly she was becoming one of his followers. Someone in the glistening camp. And she hated it, but maybe it had been inevitable all along. Maybe she could no longer run from what she was.
But she’d be damned if she was going to admit it to him. If she had to say out loud that she was a glistening again, Jenna thought she might puke. Again.
“You guys cool?” Dirk asked as he rounded the van up to the rear entrance of the capitol building. There were men in black suits outside, ready to see them inside.
“We’re cool.” Jenna readied her gun at her waist and checked to make sure everything was in order. She slipped a suit jacket on top of her bullet proof vest and donned a pair of shades before stepping out of the van.
Dirk was at her side in a breath. They opened the rear door and Jake climbed out. His eyes studied the marble stairs and the giant dome glistening in front of them. Once the building had been made of stone, a glorious relic of old architecture, but that was destroyed in the glistening war.
It had been one of the glistening’s fatal mistakes. Attempting to take control of Washington and it had signaled the beginning of the end.
Jake huffed a long breath. “Let’s go.”
He was sandwiched between them as they hurried up the steps. Jenna’s heels clicked against the marble steps. As they approached an officer opened the door without saying anything. Jenna checked the hall and then ushered Jake in.
