“You didn’t ask me what the worst thing I could say about you was. You asked me what I would change.”
“What’s the worst thing about me?”
“Sorry, you blew it. You got your one philosophical question for the trip. So, you had your answer pretty quick. What would you change about me?”
“This is tricky. I’m not sure I want to put it out there in the cosmos.”
A.J.’s eyebrows scrunched, and the silly mood started to get really serious, really fast.
He must think I have something really terrible to say.
“If I had to change something about you, I’d make you more selfish.”
“What?”
“You are the least selfish person I know, and considering that comes from me, a woman who has been described as pathologically unselfish, that is saying something.”
“Teagan’s opinion doesn’t count.” A.J. was smiling again. “Why do you think I need to be more selfish, and why is that tricky?”
“It’s the whole butterfly thing. If I ask for you to be more selfish, what are the ramifications? Will you be able to stand me? You’re really the only person who I am selfish with. I didn’t say that right, but you know what I mean. You are the only person in the world who I ask for help. I depend on you knowing what I want and what I need without me saying a word. Teagan used to be my go-to person, but you are a million times better at that.”
The look on A.J.’s face kind of surprised me. I couldn’t read it. It was almost like time had stopped.
He cleared his throat. Twice. “I don’t think you know what that means to me.”
“Evidently not. I thought you knew all that.”
“There is a difference between assuming it and having in confirmed.”
A.J. finished his bottle of beer, went to the fridge, and got another.
We ate the rest of the meal mostly in silence. Smiling at each other like some goofy movie.
As I took my last bite, I decided to go for it. “We’re in Vegas. You want to get married?”
Once A.J. stopped choking and was able to breathe again, he turned me down. Then went into another coughing fit. Every time he started to talk, he started to cough.
I was mature.
Almost.
Told him to just relax.
Called Tuxedoman and asked that our dishes be taken away. He was there in about thirty seconds. Was he standing out in the hall?
When the dishes were cleared, and A.J. had figured out how to breathe again, he asked, “Are you okay?”
“Sure.” I pulled a face. “You aren’t the first man to turn down a proposal of marriage from me.”
“I’m not?” A.J.’s eyebrows almost met his hairline.
“Nope.”
“Who the hell else have you proposed to?”
“Daddy. Two weeks before kindergarten. He said he was already taken and that I’d find the perfect guy someday, just like Mom had found him. He didn’t tell me the perfect guy would turn me down.”
A.J. smiled. “I didn’t turn you down, really.”
“I asked you if you wanted to get married, and you said no. That’s turning me down.”
“But that isn’t what happened. You asked me if I wanted to get married in Vegas, and I said that it wasn’t the right place.”
“Place shouldn’t matter.”
“Cara, you know I want to marry you. More than anything in the world. But I don’t want you to look back and regret not having your family here.”
“My mom won’t be at the wedding anyway. I don’t think I want to do the whole traditional wedding thing with my mom not there.”
“I’m sorry that your mom won’t be there — at least not physically — but what about your dad? All your brothers and sisters, especially Teagan. You don’t want to get married without them there.”
“Good cover.”
“Cara, I can have your entire family on airplanes in a couple of hours, and we can get married tomorrow.”
“You would do that?”
“In a heartbeat.”
“They have things to do.”
“Who’s backing down now?”
I had to laugh. “You know, it’s like porn.”
“What?” The look on A.J.’s face was priceless.
“Someone asked my mother if she was against porn. She said that she really didn’t have an opinion one way or the other, but it seemed to her that with porn, you would become desensitized to the real thing, and sooner or later, it would be to your detriment. If we keep talking about getting married, but then don’t get married, it’s going to either turn into a ‘boy who cried wolf’ thing, or we are going to become desensitized by the whole thing.”
“So you didn’t really mean it?”
“Of course I did. I would walk down to the nearest wedding chapel, with or without an Elvis impersonator, and become Mrs. Cara Cooper tonight and never regret it for a moment.”
“I think you need your family with you.”
“Maybe. And Gran and Suzi.”
“Yes, I’d like to have them there.”
“Okay, no Vegas wedding for us.”
“I love you, you know.”
“I know.”
His kiss was so tender and so A.J. that I almost forgot the doctor’s instructions.
FOUR
WE DIDN’T WANT to do anything too structured the first night, so we decided to go downstairs and hit the casino.
I don’t really gamble.
I will play slots for a little while; then I’m done.
A.J. plays cards.
I dropped him off at a card table and found myself a penny slot machine.
I know, when in Vegas you should at least use a nickel machine, but since I never win anyway, why do that?
That thought smacked me right in the head.
Why was I allowing myself to be so negative?
I was walking by a dollar machine as I thought it.
I took a five dollar bill out of my purse, stuck it in the machine, hit the bet button three times — holy shit, a three-dollar bet, that’s just stupid — and pulled the arm. I won my money back.
I chickened out and backed off. A two-dollar bet. I won again. Half my money back.
I figured I would just donate my five dollars and be done with it. When I lost my allotted five dollars, I’d go find a place to sit and people watch. I hadn’t done that in a while, and I love people watching.
Three-dollar bet. I pulled the arm of the machine and watched all the little icons come around. The first one came up and started making noises, then the second one, and then the third. They all matched! The machine was blinking and making all kinds of noises, but I couldn’t figure out what it was trying to tell me.
The lady sitting next to me — she must have been a hundred and twenty years old, but feisty as could be — said, “Touch any button, honey. You just got the bonus spins.”
I touched the button closest to the handle and everything just got louder and more chaotic. Things started spinning and lights started flashing and people started to pay attention.
My feisty new best friend jumped out of her chair and was patting me on the back. “I just walked away from that machine. I’ll be damned. You won it big!”
I texted A.J. and let him know that I’d won and where I was. I still wasn’t sure how much, because there were a bunch of people standing around and different people were saying different amounts. The machine was blinking so much, with such a strobe light thing happening, I was afraid if I looked at the machine again I’d have a seizure.
A.J. got there just before the official from the casino.
I won seventeen hundred dollars.
Seventeen hundred dollars!
It’s not lottery money, but it’s still a lot of money.
They had me sit at the machine while they checked and rechecked everything. They walked away with my driver’s license, then came back with a guy in a suit jacket who confirmed my name.
Then
they had me sign some papers. Turns out they report it as income to the IRS if it’s anything over twelve hundred dollars. I put a note in my phone to remember to claim it so I didn’t end up with an audit or something.
Then they counted out seventeen hundred dollars in cash and handed it to me.
Right in front of all those people.
That seems really stupid.
What would stop some person from grabbing my purse or hitting me over the head in the parking lot?
A.J. and I headed to the cashier. One look at our room key and everything went smoothly. I wanted to make sure that all those people — half of them drunk — who had been standing around watching the casino official count out cash into my hand, saw me at the cashier window so they would know I didn’t have any money on me.
There’s that negative thing again.
On second thought, that’s not negative; that’s just common sense.
You would think the casino would put it on account or give you a check or something. It just seems dangerous.
I admit. I was giddy.
I’ve never won seventeen hundred dollars before.
“What are you gonna do with it, honey?” My feisty friend had found me again.
“I’m not really sure. Right now, it is just sitting in the bank, waiting for me to decide.” I hoped she would spread the word.
“You could play it out. It’s their money you’d be playing with. I could teach you about the table games, if you don’t know how.”
“Thanks, but I’m done gambling for the night.”
She looked a little dejected, but I saw her talking to someone else as she wandered away. I’m sure she’ll be fine.
A.J. and I walked across the casino. He had his arm around my waist. We don’t normally do that, but I think he wanted to send a clear message that the girl with the seventeen hundred dollars had a protector with her.
We found ourselves in front of a café. There was a whole lot of chocolate in their bakery display. We decided a cup of tea and a “little something” was in order.
You should see the thing they brought A.J.
A chocolate, chocolate chip cookie about the size of a salad plate. The huge ornate plate it was presented on was decorated with white chocolate, milk chocolate, and dark chocolate. The attention to detail was amazing. Vanilla ice cream sat on top of the warm cookie, drizzled with the three kinds of chocolate syrup. The casino’s logo was printed on a thin, thin, thin sheet of chocolate coming out of the ice cream — how they got it to the table without breaking it is a mystery in and of itself — and the logo was both gold leaf and three-dimensional.
I sent a picture to Teagan immediately.
A.J. had some kind of chocolate and coffee drink. I think they get that much caffeine and sugar in your body, assuming you will go back and gamble for the next three hundred and twelve hours.
I had a cup of tea, some white toast with extra butter, and a ham steak.
Winning money evidently makes me hungry.
We wandered outside of the casino and found a really cheesy souvenir shop. We laughed so hard at some of the possibilities.
I got Sinead and Valerie little onesies with a rockabilly theme. I tried really hard not to think about the fact that I should have been buying one for our baby, too.
I got Daddy a bunch of dice in different colors. He used to like to play a dice game every once in a while. Maybe we should start that back up again. I don’t like the thought of him spending so much time alone.
I tried really hard not to think about that, too.
I figured I’d buy for the rest of the family as I saw things that worked.
We did the touristy thing. Started off in the Hershey store. They actually have a Statue of Liberty made out of chocolate. They also have five-pound Hershey bars and giant Kisses. And Kisses lip gloss and Christmas ornaments. And a bakery case of stuff that I think would put Teagan’s favorite desserts to shame.
We wandered out the door, up an escalator, over the people-bridge, and back down.
So many people walking around with drinks in their hands, it’s probably a good idea that they keep the pedestrians away from the cars as much as they can. A quick left turn, and we were in the world of giant M&Ms. I never thought about a place like Vegas being so kid friendly. Four stories of chocolate. Four stories!
There was so much to choose from — some of it strange, like little girl’s underwear or scented t-shirts — that we decided we’d come back tomorrow so I could buy a few things.
On our way back to our room, we stopped at another casino and booked a show. I didn’t want to do it through the concierge because then it would be charged to Adeline, and I’d rather pay for it myself. Actually, let the casino pay for it with my winnings.
The thought made me smile.
It had been a long day, but we weren’t really tired. I wonder if it’s true that the casinos don’t have clocks and pump extra oxygen into the rooms so you stay awake to gamble more.
I can tell you one thing for sure. Some of those places we wandered into need to cut back on their air freshener. People smoke in the casinos, and a couple that we wandered through use so much stuff to try to mask the smell of cigarettes that you can’t breathe. My clothes are gonna smell like that for a week.
When we got back to our room, our bed was turned back. There was all kinds of stuff to nibble on sitting on the table, and our bags had been unpacked. How embarrassing. They are probably used to unpacking Guia La Bruna or La Perla underwear, not stuff like mine, which I found on sale at Target.
There was also a note from the girls.
A.J. and Cara,
We hope you are having a great time. We will leave you to it, but we have made one more arrangement for you. Tomorrow evening, please dress in the clothing provided for you, or shop in some of the lovely stores right there on the strip. Dinner will await you.
All our love,
Gran, Anna, and Adeline
“I wonder if Anna and your grandmother are helping to pay for all of this. I know it’s wrong, but when it was just Adeline, I didn’t feel so bad. She could spend money all day every day and never make a dent in how much she really has, but if your grandmother and Anna are helping to pay for this, that’s a lot of money for them.”
“I learned a long time ago not to question things like that. They’re grown women, and they know what their finances are. We will just be sure to do something really special for them when we get home.”
“Really? You were the first one to say something about the whole money thing.”
“Just because I know something doesn’t mean I always stick to it. You want me to point out a couple of examples…?” He had a huge smile on his face, so I knew he was ready with some really good examples.
I may have grabbed him in a spot sure to confuse his thought process, but I would never admit to having done something like that.
I tried to get back to the subject at hand. “Yeah, I’ve been trying to think of something.”
“Me, too. It will come to us.”
We spent the next few days sleeping too much and eating too much and walking around Las Vegas. Just normal tourists, unless it was something the girls had planned; then it was completely out of control. Like the little dinner they had arranged for us.
They had left a beautiful dark, dark navy suit. Perfectly tailored. The only thing we could think of was that Gran had talked A.J. into getting measured for a suit when Suzi had gotten married. They must have used those measurements, because it was perfect. A beautiful shirt with a stunning tie. They even remembered the socks. Argyle. They made me smile.
I tried on my dress before I took my shower, just in case it didn’t work at all. If it didn’t work, I would probably just cancel dinner. Even with the money I won, those designer stores in the casinos are a little too expensive for me.
My dress was absolutely stunning. There is no other word. Designer dresses have a whole lot of structure built into them, and I don’t
really have any curves anyway, especially right now, so all I needed under the dress was a pair of nude colored underwear. Looking at the dress from the front, it was pretty conservative. It was a stretchy velvet-type material in the same really dark navy color as A.J.’s suit.
I remember Teagan once telling me that I should only wear navy. It does something with my red hair and my blue eyes.
Anyway, over the stretchy stuff was the same color mesh, but the mesh was encrusted with sparkly things — beads and sequins and stones — that formed a really intricate pattern. It looked very ethnic, more Asian than Irish even though the stones were the most beautiful green I’d ever seen and when I see green I think Irish.
The stretchy part had a scoop neck, and the mesh part had a boat neck, and when it was on the hanger I thought maybe that would be a bad thing, but when I put it on, the scoop in the velvet stuff exactly matched the pattern they’d made with the sparkly stuff, and it was perfect.
The dress hugged all the right places, and even though I was concerned because I was so skinny right now, even I had to admit it looked good.
I walked out into the living room to see what A.J. thought.
I think I’m gonna be one of those women who lets the groom see the dress before the wedding. I’m just not good at secrets, and I like to know what A.J. thinks about pretty much everything.
He didn’t have to say anything.
Even I could read the look on his face.
When I turned around, and he saw there was no back in the dress and it scooped really low, he found words. His voice was a little husky. I love it when that happens. “You are the very best part of my life.”
I wasn’t expecting that.
Instead of making me cry, it made me giddy.
Giddy is better.
“I’m gonna go get ready.”
“Take your time. You want me to run a bath for you?”
“I’m not sure a bath is a good idea yet, but you could get me a drink.”
“Tea?”
“How about a frozen margarita.”
“Really?”
“Yep. When in Vegas.” I was still laughing when I closed the bathroom door. It felt good.
I must admit, we are a handsome pair.
A.J. was in his suit and looking and smelling so good. I love a guy who smells good.
Healing Tea Page 5
