There was only one little pink dress on the site.
It was marked as sold.
It was for a baby.
For some reason, when she said that she’d found a little pink dress, I assumed that it was a little pink dress for Teagan. She actually looks really good in pink.
Did she say baby pink, as in light pink, or did she say baby dress?
Teagan’s pregnant. She didn’t want to tell me because she didn’t want to hurt me since I’d just lost our baby.
That’s why she cried so hard when I told her. Why she didn’t tell Jessie. She didn’t want to mess up their happiness with my unhappiness.
She’s the three.
Everything happens in threes. Sinead. Valerie. Teagan.
I’m an idiot. No wonder Teagan has decided to make it work with Jessie. They’re going to be parents. She’s always had this thing about marriage being forever, and once you have a baby with a person, it isn’t about the adults anymore; it’s about the kids. All O’Flynns feel that way. It’s in our DNA.
First, I cried.
A lot.
Teagan’s going to have a baby without me.
I know that’s stupid. I know I should be happy for her. I know.
But it still hurts me down to my core.
So much for being happy again.
Once I calmed down and got my voice to sound almost normal — I even practiced saying congratulations out loud — I gave her a call.
“Congratulations. I’m really happy for you.”
“Great. What are you happy for me about, exactly?”
“The baby.”
“Thanks. I’m doing better.”
“Morning sickness?”
“What? Dingleberry, what have you been drinking, smoking, or otherwise ingesting? The baby has caused a knot in my stomach once or twice, but I don’t do morning sickness.”
“Well, excuse me.”
“There is no excuse for you. Are you okay?”
“I’m happy for you.”
“You said that. Listen, dingleberry, considering this was pretty much your idea, and you pretty much pushed me in this direction — which both Jessie and I will be forever grateful for — I don’t understand what’s wrong. You sound like you want to cry, or punch me, or both.”
“I did not push you to have a baby, Teagan.” Okay, so maybe I snapped a little.
“Have a baby? What are you talking about?”
“I went onto that site, and I saw all the beautiful stuff, and there was a beautiful pink knit dress, and it was for a baby. I’m not stupid, Teagan.”
“I wouldn’t say stupid, dingleberry. How about, well, let’s go with possessed?”
“What?”
“The dress is for Joynessa. We’re having a portrait done, hopefully by A.J. Jessie is going to call him today. It’s our first big step at doing the right thing. We’re going to ask Joy to join us and have all four of us in the portrait.”
“I thought I was supposed to be working as a buffer.”
“I was going to call you this afternoon and ask you to call Joy. The dress isn’t going to be here until next week. She’s making me one a little bit bigger than the one on the site. Calm down. What’s wrong with you?”
“I thought you were three.”
“More words.”
I explained. Once I started sounding a little bit more like a devastated sister and a little less like a complete lunatic, Teagan felt a little more empathy.
Actually, a lot more.
She cried with me on the phone. Reminded me that our baby was not ever going to be replaced, by anyone, and would always be number three in that group.
She made me feel better.
I called Joy right after I got off the phone with Teagan. We talked for a few minutes. She said she’d have to think about it. She asked me what I thought.
I tried to keep my tone even. “Truthfully, I think it is asking a lot of you. You guys don’t exactly have a relationship yet.”
“That’s how I feel.”
“On the other hand, when Joynessa gets older, and she has a picture of all of you together when she was so tiny, that might be important to her.”
“That’s a good point. I promise, I’ll think about it.”
I have to say, for all the really rotten things I’ve heard about Joy, she is turning out to be a very thoughtful and conscientious person, and you really can’t ask for more than that.
I had completely calmed down by the time A.J. got home. He was so excited to show me whatever it was we were going to see. He wanted it to be a surprise.
We took his car and started back toward Old Town.
I was really rather proud of myself that I didn’t ask and ask and ask where we were going. It was killing me not knowing.
That’s probably a good sign. Lately, I really didn’t care what happened or when. A week ago, I probably would have just sat in the passenger side and sulked.
We pulled up in front of a beautiful old house. It was a pale yellow color, with white accents. Big wide porch, the way they used to do them. We walked up a few wooden steps that felt sturdy but made just the right noise.
The house has fanlight windows. I love those. They look like church windows to me, with the half circle at the top portioned into three little steeple kind of things.
Up above the front door was that gingerbread stuff they used to put on houses. Someone had taken the trouble to paint the cut part of it a lovely gray, which really made the pattern stand out.
I figured that A.J. was using the house for a photo shoot we had talked about the other night. He was looking for something that screamed tradition and family.
He had a key, and we walked in the front door.
I loved it all. There were built-in nooks and crannies everywhere. There was a front parlor that had a fireplace. Old chunky wooden floors. The woodwork was amazing. To the right was a bedroom that had its own bathroom, which surprised me. Old houses usually don’t have an en suite, and this house looked like it had been really well preserved, but not updated. Except for the windows. We continued to the main part of the house. There was a huge, old, country-looking kitchen. Big white apron sink with built in draining racks on both sides. It was deep enough to wash just about any pot or pan you could imagine. When I got closer, I could see there was a half-wall divider in the middle. Even better.
The stove. Oh. My. God. It is black and white, with eight knobs and four doors and a huge griddle. I’m in love. The fridge was huge and hiding behind doors that look kind of like shutters. A big side-by-side with a full-sized fridge and a full-sized freezer.
I’m really trying not to drool, but I love kitchens.
We walked through a doorway, and there was another room. My guess is it was once a canning room. There was tongue-and-groove wood on the walls, the ceiling, and the floor. It was a rich honey color. Just beyond that room was an old-fashioned, screened-in back porch. The back porch had a clothesline that you could attach your clothes to right from the porch and then reel them back in when they were dry.
That could make a great picture for A.J.
There was a small bedroom off the service porch — that’s what I’m calling the canning room. It had no bathroom, but it did have a sink with a mirror.
We went upstairs, and there were three more bedrooms. One of them at the front of the house was very large and had its own bathroom. The other two rooms shared a bath. The bath they shared had a huge claw-foot soaking tub with the old porcelain handles. The sink had a hot faucet and a cold faucet instead of just one, and the little sink stopper on a chain.
Instead of closets, there were huge wooden armoires.
The windows were all different. Some were square; some were octagonal. It was a hodgepodge — as my mother would say — and I thought it was all perfect.
Other than pointing and saying, “Look!” over and over again, A.J. and I really didn’t speak much while we were looking. All I could do was squeal and giggle with deligh
t.
His smile was brighter than I’ve seen it in a long time.
“So, what do you think?”
“Oh, you’ll do great things here, A.J.”
“I’ll do great things? I thought we’d do great things together.”
“Suzi not available?”
“Cara, I think we should buy this house. This isn’t about work. This is about us.”
Okay, I went all six-year-old-girl-gets-her-first-pony on him. I jumped up and down. I made noises I haven’t made in years and years. “Really? For us?”
“A client of mine was telling me about it. She lost her husband and is moving to be closer to her daughter. Her family has been in this house for generations, and she was afraid that if she sold it to someone, they would come in and modernize everything. She said the plumbing and electric have all been updated, but most of the other stuff is original. Did you see the doorknobs? They’re crystal. And the light switches? You poke the white circle to turn the lights on, and the dark one to turn them off. That stove in the kitchen — she said her grandfather had it brought over as a forty-fifth anniversary gift for her grandmother. Her dad made the cover for the refrigerator just before he passed. My client begged her daughter to move, she even offered her the house, but her son-in-law can’t swing it at work. So, I told her I’d show it to you, but I told her with all the tradition, I thought you would like it.”
“Like it? I love it. I love everything about it. Look at the back door. They have heights marked on there. I’ll bet some have been there for a hundred years. I love it. Can we afford it?”
“If you want it, we can afford it.”
“If? If? This is, like, the best house I’ve ever been in. I love it. It feels like my house already.” I threw myself into A.J.’s arms. “Thank you, thank you for finding this. It’s perfect.”
“You sure? You don’t want to think about it for a while? She said she would be happy to hold it until we were sure.”
“I’m sure. Are you sure?”
“I only have one reservation.”
My heart sank.
A.J. shrugged. “It’s been so nice having Suzi and Evelyn next door. I know she can make it on her own, but I like the fact that she can come to us when she is having a rough time. It’s hard to be a single mother.”
“Why doesn’t she move in here with us?”
“What?”
“Suzi and I have been roommates before. We know we can do it. You and Suzi have been roommates before. You’re her brother. We know you guys can do it. Evelyn will just have to learn to adjust.” I was laughing.
“Are you sure?”
“I think it would be nice. Suzi can have the whole upstairs to herself. We’ll take the downstairs bedroom in the front. There’s a bathroom there. There’s plenty of room. The downstairs alone is bigger than our apartment, and we do just fine. Suzi and Evelyn will have their own area. We’ll figure out what to do about utilities and food, but it will probably be cheaper for Suzi to live here. We’ll make the house payment ’cause that wouldn’t change with or without Suzi being here. She can put some money away. When she decides she and Evelyn need their own place, she should have a nice down payment so she can buy her own place.”
“But newlyweds with a sister and a baby?” A.J. smiled.
“Newlyweds?”
“At some point.”
“I think it will be perfect. At every point.”
“Let’s go talk to Suzi.”
Suzi’s in! I’m so excited I can’t even think straight.
She thought it was crazy at first, but the more we talked about it, the more it made sense, and when we took her to see the house, she loved it almost as much as I do. She offered to take the downstairs area. I think upstairs would be better. Downstairs, if she wants her own room, then Evelyn is going to be at the back of the house, and she’s going to be at the front of the house. If she takes the upstairs, then she can have the big room at the front of the house, and Evelyn can have the smaller room down the hall. She can make the other bedroom into an office or a play area. We can make the downstairs extra room into an office. There are so many options, who ends up where is the least of our worries.
When we were in bed and talking about it, A.J. got very still and quiet. “The other thing I was thinking is it will help keep your dad busy. He could help with some of the improvements and maybe help us put a nice garden in the back.”
“I love you more than you will ever know. Thank you for thinking of my father and then actually making a plan.”
For the first time in a very long time, I didn’t feel like my life was completely out of my control.
I called my dad in the morning and told him all about our plans. About buying the house and sharing it with Suzi and the baby. He didn’t even hesitate. “I think that will be grand, girl.”
Teagan was next. Then the rest of the family. Officially, we weren’t homeowners yet, but we were close enough to hit the phone tree with the good news.
The only one that was less than thrilled was Seamus. He went on and on about the problems with buying such an old house. He said we should get at least two inspections and make sure they checked the plumbing and the electric and the insulation and God knows what else.
He also said that the house wouldn’t be far from the college, and if we wanted to share a house, why weren’t we sharing it with Sinead and Howard instead of Suzi?
“Well, it never dawned on me. Sinead has Howard. Howard has Sinead. Suzi doesn’t have anybody.”
“She has that moron that almost killed you.” His tone was so harsh it actually shocked me.
“No, she doesn’t. She divorced him.”
“Still.”
“Okay, you know what? I’m an adult in a relationship with a great man, and we are buying a house. I’m sorry if you can’t be excited for me, but it isn’t going to change anything, Seamus.”
“Whoa, where did that come from?
“I call you with the best news I’ve had in…maybe in forever, and all you can do is shit all over it, and then you ask why I get upset? You know what? I’m not even going to do this. Tell Valerie I said hi. Give the baby a kiss for me. I’ll talk to you another day.” And I hung up.
It felt pretty good.
I decided to find my serenity before talking to anybody else. Anna is always telling Adeline to breathe in to the count of five, hold it for two, then let it out to the count of five. Do that three times, and even when you are completely overwhelmed, it will make things better.
It made me a little dizzy, but better.
I called Adeline and told her about the house. Life has been so hard on so many levels for so long, good news needs to be shared.
She was happy for us. She gave me the number of “her guy” for financing.
“Thanks, but I don’t feel comfortable taking advantage. A.J. said he’s just going to go to the bank.”
Adeline laughed. “Cara, how do you think rich people get and stay rich? The network. We take advantage of the relationships they are aware of. It is not evil to call the man and talk to him. If he can shave a point or two off your loan, you will save a great deal of money over the life of the loan.”
“Okay. You promise no funny stuff?”
She laughed good-naturedly. “I promise.”
A.J. called. “Are we sure about this? If we are, I’m going to put down the earnest money.”
“I’m sure. I thought we were going to open a joint account.”
“Yep, that’s still the plan. According to the person I talked to, we put in the earnest money, but that is just the first step. We’ve got inspections and a deposit, and we have to arrange for a mortgage.”
“Adeline says we should talk to her guy about a mortgage.”
“Works for me. I’m not sure if it’s normal, but this money I’m putting down, it is refundable. We have three days to think about it, but my client wrote into the contract that if we change our minds, she will give me my money back.”
/> “The only thing that could change my mind is if the price goes crazy, or if the inspections come back really bad. Seamus gave me an earful. If there’s something the inspector doesn’t find, I’m never gonna hear the end of it.”
A.J. laughed. “Sounds like your brother. I’m pretty confident we’ll be okay. I’ve known the owner for a while, but this is a lot of money, so I’m having a couple of people I know check it out. One used to work for city inspections, and the other owns his own inspection business. I told him to check it out like he is checking it for his mom.”
“Perfect.”
“I’m meeting them there tomorrow morning at seven. You want to come?”
“Sure.”
“I already asked your dad. I hope that’s alright.”
“Perfect.”
“I gotta go. We’ll talk tonight.”
Perfect seems to be my word for the last couple of days. I need to watch that. Nothing’s perfect. If it were perfect, Mom would be here to help me pick out stuff for the new house. I know people say things like “this is the new perfect,” but I liked my old perfect.
Before I allowed those thoughts to get ahold of me, I called Teagan to let her know things are moving forward.
“I need you to do me a favor, dingleberry.”
“Sure, what’s up?”
“I thought maybe we could do a girls’ night.”
“We just did one, right before Mom died. I’m not sure I can do one again so soon.”
“No, not that kind of girls’ night. I’d like you, me, and Joy to go out for dinner.”
“Did she agree to that?” I was shocked.
“No. I thought you could call her and suggest it.”
“It might be a little soon, don’t you think?”
“We are never going to be able to coparent the baby if we don’t get to at least know each other. I’d prefer if we can’t be friends, we could at least be friendly.”
“I get that, but you’re only looking at it from your side. She’s going to think you have some ulterior motive, and I can’t say that I would blame her. You’ve gone from hating her guts and thinking she’s a crazy person to wanting to be best friends with her in an awful short period of time.”
“I don’t want to be her best friend, dingleberry. I just think we need to get along.”
Healing Tea Page 10
