"What game are you playing? Why did you steal my clothes?" He flicked the starched ruffle circling her hips with the corner of the book. "And what is it with this whole tutu thing?"
Tessa yanked the book out of his hand. For a moment he thought she might bop him over the head with it. Instead, she marched to the front door, opened it and threw the book out on her lawn. "Take your book and who's ever clothes you're wearing and get out of my house."
"It is not my book!" he yelled as he stomped toward the door. Just as he reached the threshold, the book came whizzing through the doorway past him then landed with a resounding thunk on the coffee table.
His temper melted under the eeriness of the moment. "Okay, that was spooky."
Tessa slammed the door, then marched over to the squatty table and retrieved the book. She was fuming. Jack could almost see steam spewing from her ears. Obviously, her temper's melting point was a tad higher than his.
"You sure this isn't yours?" she asked sweetly yet with venom, like syrup at a roiling boil.
Jack shook his head, too confused to do battle with Tessa at the moment. Something was out of kilter.
"Good," she said as she stepped over to the fireplace and then turned the gas key beside the hearth. Flames leaped behind the gas logs. "Then you don't mind me burning it."
That said, she tossed the book into the flames. It hissed. It sputtered. It smoked. It smoldered.
But it did not burn.
After a moment, the book seemed to take wings and fly out of the fire and land on the coffee table. This time, its cover opened to expose bold, black calligraphy sprawled across crisp white pages.
Jack cautiously stepped closer. Tessa, having lost a considerable amount of her temper, edged closer while staying behind him.
Jack read aloud from the exposed page. "The Truelove fairy, the one who wears the tutu, defends true love at all cost." He looked behind at Tessa. "I guess that's you."
"What!" She popped out from around Jack's back and grabbed the book. "It doesn't say that."
"Well, the writing is kind of fancy and swirly, but I'm pretty sure that's what it says."
"Come on, Jack, cut the crap. I'm tired, I'm stuck—and maybe just a little bit wigged out."
"So what do you think it says?" he asked, conceding he may have misread the text.
"It doesn't say anything." Tessa slammed the book closed then replaced it on the coffee table. "It was a blank page and you know it!"
Before Jack could reach for the book, it opened again. This time to the second page.
"Once called upon, true love must be saved." Jack read.
"There is nothing on that page." Tessa, who had been standing next to him, spun on her heels, circled the coffee table then flounced down onto the couch. "This is a bunch of hooey."
Jack thumbed through the next couple of pages, reading bits and pieces of the scrolling words. Suddenly, he didn't like what he was reading.
"According to this, you're the Truelove fairy—" he swallowed hard before continuing, "—and I'm your sidekick."
Tessa rolled her gaze heavenward and mumbled, "Make him go away."
He ignored her interruption as he explained, "If I'm reading this right, we are stuck in these clothes until you save someone's true love."
"Wonderful," she deadpanned. "I don't know what is worse, you expecting me to buy this crap or the slim chance that you are buying into it."
"Hey, I'm just telling you what the book says." He shrugged as he surreptitiously tried to pull the clingy sweater away from his body. It wasn't happening. His shirt was as stuck to him as…as…as Tessa's tutu was stuck to her.
Shit! This wasn't good!
Maybe this whole mess was a dream. Maybe if he could get Tessa to act out the rest of this nightmare, he'd wake up. Maybe if it was really happening, they'd save true love this one time and the book, the tutu and the whole man-in-black suit would go away forever.
Maybe he was losing his fucking mind!
He took a deep, bracing breath and forged onward. "I guess there's one way to find out."
Tessa shot him a glare that could have curdled milk. He ignored it.
"There's a verse, a kind of chant really. Anyway, from what I can tell, it transports us to where true love is in danger."
She cocked her eyebrow and asked, "Are you running a fever? Maybe hit your head? There has to be a reason you're this delusional."
Jack sighed. "I'll make you a deal. You repeat the chant and if nothing happens I take my delusions and go home."
"Deal!" Tessa leaped to her feet. "Anything to get you out of here."
Jack nodded, starting to get more than a little put-out with her combative comments.
"When true love waivers," he began.
Tessa repeated it.
"Be it by poor judgment or misbehavior," Jack nodded to Tessa.
She repeated after him again.
"I, the Truelove fairy, hears the summons," he paused.
Tessa rolled her gaze, then repeated the words.
"And come a runnin'," Jack finished.
With a sigh, Tessa said, "And come a runnin'."
Slowly the air around them shimmered with tiny red sparkles, then picked up speed until ribbons of red lights swirled around them. The air became hot and oppressive--
And then all hell broke loose.
*
"Son of a bitch!"
Tessa winced at Jack's bellow while keeping her eyes squeezed shut against the nausea threatening to overtake her. "I think I'm going to be sick."
"Open your eyes, Tessa. You are not going to freaking believe this!"
Was that excitement, fear or awe in Jack's tone? None boded well for her temper or her tummy. Why was it the sound of Jack Dugan’s voice pissed her off so?
Still keeping her eyes tightly closed, she covered her face with her hands, not wanting to play Jack’s game any more. Maybe if she kept her eyes shut long enough he'd go away.
"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore," he quoted, sounding both amused and mesmerized.
"True love is like the wedding bands that will symbolize this marriage, a continuous circle without end," a man's voice boomed from somewhere in front of Tessa.
Who was that? Tessa jerked her face out of her hands then glanced around in search of the new arrival in her living room. Only they weren't in her living room!
They were in the Land of Giants!
Everybody was at least twenty-foot tall.
"Oh my God!"
"Yeah, tell me about it," Jack agreed as he clambered to his feet from his sitting position beside her. "This is uh—weird, but way cool."
Self-preservation kicked in as she scrambled to her feet. If she was going to be squashed, she wanted a running start. "Where are we?"
"It looks like a wedding—a really big wedding." He laughed at his own joke.
"Oh, hardy, har, har," she replied, still struggling to find her footing.
"Yep, there's the groom, the groomsmen and the preacher." Jack pointed to his right, then jabbed his thumb in the opposite direction at three towering women dressed in pink. "And there's the bridesmaids. Oh yeah, definitely a wedding."
"That means we are—"
"Standing on the bride's shoulder."
"How? What?" Tessa felt shock and fear swamp over her. "We're two inches tall!"
The minister spoke again, seemingly unaware of Jack and Tessa's appearance.
Startled by his volume, not to mention having a bird’s-eye view of the biggest stress zit she ever seen in her life on the bride's chin, Tessa staggered backward and lost her footing on the slick satin. She grabbed for the first thing that came by and came up with a fist full of tulle.
"Ouch!" the bride hollered as she swatted at Tessa dangling from the wedding veil.
"Crap!" Jack hollered as he lunged forward. "Grab my hand."
"Jack!" Tessa swiped at his outstretched hand, missed the first time then connected with him on her second swing around. "Pull me up!
"
"You're okay. I've got you," he promised as he widened his stance and pulled her back onto the bride's shoulder.
Once back on solid, albeit satin-covered ground, she threw her arms around Jack's neck and took a deep, shuddering breath. She could have been killed.
She had to get a grip. And she would, in a minute. Right now, she was too busy swallowing back a scream.
Jack stroked her back as he whispered reassuring words into her ear. She allowed herself a moment longer in his arms to gather her composure then stepped away from him.
A giggle bubbled up from deep inside Tessa. Suddenly everything struck her funny. Being trapped in porn/ballerina garb. Jack the Jock sexy as hell in his all black ensemble. Being shrunk to a whopping two inches. And last, but not least, damn near plunging to her death from the shoulder of a giant bride. She could see the headlines now: Two Inch Tall Teacher Dead In Tutu.
A bubble of laughter gurgled up her throat. Her laughter folded over and over itself until it bordered on hysterics.
Concern etched clearly on Jack’s expressive face, he reached for her. Tessa moved out of his grasp, but managed to smother a majority of her laughter behind her hand. After the initial bout of hysteria passed, she let Jack ease them into a sitting position about mid-shoulder. Seemingly in an unspoken agreement to take a moment to gather their thoughts, they sat and surveyed their surroundings.
A Valentine wedding. They had landed smack dab in the middle of a Valentine day—or in this case, night—wedding.
A moment later, Tessa wiggled trying to find a more comfortable place to sit.
"Be still," Jack warned. "You want to fall off again?"
She settled and sat still for about two seconds before her discomfort got the best of her and she shifted in search of relief.
“What is wrong with you?” Jack clamped his grip around her upper arm. “Do you want to die?”
"I have a seed pearl up my butt," she blurted out, the strain of their situation getting the best of her.
Jack laughed, then scooted over to give her space to sit in between the rows of pearls outlining the bridal gown’s edges. "I never thought I’d save a girl from a seed pearl."
“Yeah, well, who would of thought those things could be so big and nasty,” Tessa replied, following his it’s-easier-to-laugh-than-to-cry lead. Although, she fully intended to indulge in a full-fledge crying jag the moment she was alone!
She slid next to Jack and sighed in relief. Feeling calmer, though not understanding why, she fought the urge to swing her feet. A moment passed before she spoke, "So, now what do we do?"
"Just a guess, but I think we're supposed to save true love."
"There’s no such thing as true love. But if there was, aren't wedding vows supposed to be the ultimate public declaration of love?"
Jack seemed to be pondering her question when the preacher came to the "speak now or forever hold your peace" part in the ceremony. A tension-filled pause swept through the church, followed by an ominous feeling creeping up Tessa's spine. Surely, nobody would—
"I do," a man shouted from the back row, then stood and started down the aisle toward them.
Tessa silently sighed in disgust. Apparently, someone would.
Crap, this couldn't be good, she thought just as Jack echoed her thoughts.
"I think the shit just hit the fan," Jack drawled. "Do something!"
"Like what, snap my fingers and make him disappear?" Tessa snapped her fingers to demonstrate the futility of such action.
A loud crack ricocheted off the vaulted ceiling and stained glass windows like a rifle shot. Everything froze--even the flickering candle flames!
Everything—except Jack, Tessa and the bride.
Time and people stood still. The groom stood like a statue in mid-turn toward the congregation, cold disdain chiseled on his stony expression. The wedding-crasher--probably a jilted boyfriend--teetered precariously on one foot, frozen in mid-stride.
“What happened?” Tessa whispered in the hushed quietness of the church.
"What the hell!" the bride shrieked.
“I think you immobilized them,” Jack whispered in obvious awe.
“Well, duh,” Tessa said, the shock of the newest development wearing off somewhat. “But why?”
"Oh my God!" The bride wailed, distress threaded heavily through her ranting. "I'm losing my friggin mind!"
Ignoring the bride's hysteria, Jack answered Tessa. “Snap your fingers again. Maybe things will return to normal.”
Okay, that did it. Tessa had had enough! She exploded!
“Normal! Look around you. Does any of this look normal to you?” How could he be so calm at a time like this?
"I'm okay, it's the stress, that's all," the slightly calmer bride told herself as she squeezed her eyes shut. "When I open my eyes everything will be back to normal."
Tessa glared at the bride. If one more person used the word normal tonight, she was going to—going to… well, she didn’t know what she was going to do, considering her size at the moment, but it wasn’t going to be pretty!
“Bad choice of words, huh?” Jack said sheepishly.
“You think?” Tessa retorted, then snapped her fingers as he’d suggested.
Suddenly, she and Jack winked off the bride’s shoulder and onto the desk-sized book the pastor held in his hands. Except for their change in location, everything seemed as it was before. The groom still glared. The wedding-crasher still teetered. The bride still rung her hands and muttered something about Valium and men in white coats coming to carry her off.
Jack nodded toward her, then lowered his voice to a whisper, “She’s the one. It's her true love we’re here to save.”
“Yeah, I’d figured that one out already,” Tessa whispered back. “What I haven’t figured out is how I save something that doesn't exist?”
Jack stared at her a moment. "You don't believe in true love?"
"Do you?"
"I'm pleading the fifth."
Tessa crossed her arms under her breasts and grumbled, "That's what I thought."
"Hey, this is about whatever they need to believe to get us out of here, right?"
"Right," Tessa agreed, hoping Jack couldn't hear the uncertainty in her voice. "Soooo, you have any suggestions on how to proceed from here?"
"Well, the way I see it, we're here to fix whatever is broken."
Tessa nodded, silently encouraging him. She was more than willing to let him take the lead in this wacky undertaking. She hadn't been able to think straight since she'd put this damned getup on!
"If Option A," Jack bobbed his chin toward the groom, "was the bride's true love then there wouldn't be a need for us to pop in."
"Okay, that makes sense."
Jack shifted slightly, then pointed toward the wedding-crasher immobilized in the middle of the aisle. "So Option B must be our man."
"So if we can get the bride to dump the groom and ride off into the sunset with this other guy, we're out of here?"
"If I read the manual right, that about sums it up."
Tessa nudged him in the ribs. "Okay, go ahead, start talking."
"Nuh uh, I'm not the one wearing the tutu." Jack crossed his arms over his chest and grinned. "I'm just the sidekick."
Oooooh, she wanted to wipe that cat-eating-cream grin off his face! But more than that she wanted this nightmare to end. Which meant she needed to focus on the task at hand.
She'd kill him later.
"Fine," she mumbled beneath her breath, then plastered her most compassionate smile on her lips and turned toward the muttering bride. "What's your name, sweetie?"
The bride's gaze darted toward Jack and Tessa, then she squealed like she'd just spotted a mouse—a talking mouse wearing a red tutu. After a moment, she leaned down and said, "Who me?"
She must have decided to go with the flow until the nut wagon showed up.
Jack and Tessa both nodded.
"Mi-Michelle," she answered, sounding more uns
table by the second.
"Who's the dumbass—I mean, adorable man coming toward us?"
Michelle gazed at the man teetering in mid-aisle as she sighed with not-so-secret longing, "Brett."
Surely it couldn't be this easy? Tessa thought. "Do you love him?"
"Ma-Maybe, once, but not now." Michelle turned her back to Brett. "At least, not enough to…"
Nope, it couldn't be easy.
"Not enough to what?" Tessa urged.
Michelle turned toward the glowering groom. "Ryan is a good man. He cares for me—a lot. Mama says Ryan will be a good provider for me and our future family. Mama says Ryan will give me the kind of life I deserve."
Obviously, Michelle was struggling with the reality of speaking to a two-inch tall fairy. Maybe she thought if she talked fast and semi-coherently this whole thing would go away.
"She said Brett wouldn't ever amount to anything. She said I’d be scraping for everything I got out of life if I married Brett.” Michelle turned and glanced at her mother sitting in the front pew, then swallowed hard and murmured, “Just like Mama does."
So that’s how the wind blows, Tessa thought as she looked at Ryan, the groom, and then down the aisle to Brett.
Ryan embodied the term "cold fish" right down from his sub-zero glare to his slicked-backed hairstyle. Wealthy arrogance glistened off of him like ice crystals in Antarctica. Brett, on the other hand, reeked "blue-collar worker."
Michelle had to choose between love and money.
Personally, Tessa could understand a woman's desire to secure her future. Marrying someone just for that security was too extreme for her way of thinking, but what the hay. A woman had to do what a woman had to do, right?
Only it would seem that the Guardian of Truelove, whoever the hell that was, took exception to the idea and now had her panties in a wad. Hence, here she sat, tutu-clad and two-inches tall, trying to convince Michelle to follow her heart.
Damn, meddling in someone’s life sucked. But if meddling was the only way to get back to her own life, not to mention her own wardrobe, then that’s what she’d do. She just needed to come up with the right spin on the situation.
Tessa studied Brett for a moment then turned to Michelle and said, “Brett looks like a great guy.”
“He is,” Michelle agreed quietly
Return to Cupid, Texas (3 Valentine Novellas) Page 9
